Peugeot - where sometimes an "open day" means "business as usual"

The French often come in for something of a pasting when it comes to business practices and customer service.

Unfair of course - because each country has its own peculiarities, although admittedly France seems to have more than its far share.

Still, no matter how much you might want to defend them, sometimes the French excel themselves in redefining common sense...and their own language.

Take the case of "portes ouvertes" or "open days" as interpreted by some car dealers in the country.

They've just taken place here with manufacturers eager to entice potential customers with the promise of special offers.

Those can include a 'manufacturer's official) dealer offering to take back your current vehicle at its market price (as defined by the "bible" of second-hand car value in France, the magazine and website "Argus")  and at the same time knocking off up to €5,000 on the purchase of some of models.

Others throw in free service for a year or more and monthly leasing rates without the need to put down a deposit.

In fact, there's almost a glut in the range of "special offers" available, limited to a certain period but repeated with such frequency that they've become almost par for the course.

And to give sales that extra boost, there are those "portes ouvertes" when dealers throw open their doors at times when they would normally be closed...or so you would think.

Because outside of the main metropolitan areas, it can sometimes be difficult to find car dealers who have understood that an "open day" is not the same as "business as usual".

Such was the case this past weekend in the southwestern département of Tarn.

The official Peugeot dealers in the towns of Graulhet and Gaillac (both with populations of around 12,000) proudly announced they would be holding "portes ouvertes".

Only you had to pay attention to the times, because in reality they weren't - "portes ouvertes", that is.

Peugeot 2008 (screenshot from video report by Malcolm Flynn on CarsGuide.com.au

The two dealers were open on Friday and Saturday - just as they always are, but closed on Sunday because, as they explained to the bemused potential buyer who turned up then and happened to find someone in the showroom not selling but simply catching up on some paperwork, "portes ouvertes had been on the previous two days."

Huh?

Now let's take a quick look at the Gaillac dealer's regular opening hours.

Um...Monday-Friday from eight o'clock in the morning until half-past seven in the evening. And on Saturday from eight o'clock in the morning until seven o'clock in the evening.

And those "portes ouvertes"? Friday 16 January and Saturday 17 January (even though an Internet search tells you initially that it was in fact on Saturday 17 and Sunday 18).

Oh well.

Never mind.

There was always a 25km drive to Albi or a 50km one to Toulouse.

Or not.

The finger on the (Opel) Mokka button

Opel is currently featuring former (or is that still) German super model Claudia Schiffer in its television commercials, with the 44-year-old "captivating (in Opel's own words) TV audiences around Europe with her chic ‘It’s a German’ ad' campaigns for the Opel Astra, Meriva, Mokka and Zafira Tourer."

Claudia Schiffer (screenshot Opel Mokka clip)

A pretty wise choice as Schiffer has more than a touch of class, elegance and intelligence to her, and Opel - the German subsidiary of the US car manufacturer General Motors - has its own very definite (German) identity and reputation for reliability and style.

And that's a point driven (ouch) home in the "It's a German" campaign.

The commercial for the Mokka is one that has been appearing frequently on French tellies.

Perhaps that's not a surprise as the market for subcompact crossover SUVs is a tough one and includes two "homemade" French models: the Peugeot 2008 and the Renault Captur.


Anyway, if you're not concentrating particularly during the 30-second spot, you could be forgiven for thinking that Opel is being intentionally "equivocal" while also relying on (and simultaneously breaking) gender stereotypes.

Because there's the matter of whose finger is really pressing the car's hill descent control button.

Finger on the button (screenshot Opel Mokka clip)

It's obvious really, but the lack of dialogue-action continuity could have you thinking otherwise.

The "plot" for the commercial runs along the following lines.

Schiffer pulls into the entrance of an underground car park.

A (smooth) male attendant chauvinistically asks (the of course blonde and by implication incapable) Schiffer whether she'll manage it down the ramp in her Opel Mokka.

"It's pretty steep," he tells her. "Maybe you need some help".

"OK," replies Schiffer. "Would you mind pressing that button."

It's at this point that a perfectly manicured and nail-lacquered index finger is seen pressing the hill descent control button with the attendant looking surprised as he steps away from the car and Schiffer accelerates down the ramp.

And this is where you might do a double take.

As Schiffer asked the attendant to press the hill descent control button as a way of "helping her" does that mean that he obliged and the finger belonged to him?

Of course not. But there's enough ambiguity of continuity and dialogue in the French clip to make you think (especially if you hadn't been paying attention) that...well, anything might be possible.

So a quick check on both the English and German  versions reveals exactly the same dialogue and that finger pressing...which, although of course it must be Schiffer's could just be (for those who wish car manufacturers would surprise viewers a little more often by breaking with the clichés) the attendant's...oder?

Let's play odds and evens - the French government's answer to dealing with high pollution levels in Paris

There's nothing like dealing with a problem when it occurs.

Just ask the French environment minister Philippe Martin.

Philippe Martin (screenshot TF1 news)

Parts of France have been hit by high pollution levels over the past four or five days because of (to put it very simply) the mix of "cold nights and warm days, which have prevented pollution from dispersing".

And what has the environment minister done to deal with the situation?

Well he has waited and watched, announcing that he was "working on sustainable measures to fight against pollution," (yadda, yadda, yadda) and that there would be "an announcement by the summer of a plan to protect the atmosphere of the areas most affected.'

Par for the course really from the man who took over the ministry after his predecessor Delphine Batho was sacked in July 2013, and has faced bad weather conditions with remarkably enterprising resolve coupled with the usual political platitudes

When heavy rain, thunderstorms and hail battered towns in Brittany for weeks on end, Martin was quick to give his expert opinion that "the flooding could be related to climactic disturbances."

Really? Now there's a novel concept.

And during the flooding in Var at the beginning of February, he took to a helicopter to "understand the reasons behind what had happened". How very reassuring.

In fact helicopters and having a look seemed to feature largely in Martin's method of helping out flood victims.

Anyway, back to the high pollution levels. Finally the government has taken a decision.

It announced on Saturday that Paris and its suburbs would be subjected to "alternate driving days" as of Monday because of the continued "high pollution levels" that were expected.

Jean-Marc Ayrault's office even issued a statement saying, "The prime minister is aware of the difficulties that this may cause to the everyday lives of Parisians, but this extra step is necessary."

And get this, Ayrault "trusted in the spirit of responsibility and citizenship of each and every person."

Hello! We're talking Parisians here, deservedly or not, hardly world-renowned for their civility.

The statement wasn't enough though. Martin had a sales job to do and up he popped on TF1 prime time news to give the reasons for decision and brandishing, in  "show and tell" fashion, two licence plates - both old and new - to explain the difference between an odd number and an even one.

Philippe Martin in "show and tell" mode (screenshot TF1 news)

"Public health is what most concerns us here and in spite of the measures taken since the beginning of the week (measures introduced by the local authority in Paris such as free public transport) there's a risk of another rise in pollution levels at the beginning of the week," he said.

"We had to take this decision and we're relying, of course on the responsibility of Parisians which will allow us to cope with the situation," he added, proving he had a) been briefed and b) read the prime minister's official statement before going on air.

 

Mercedes Benz disco groovin' chicken commercial

Nothing whatsoever to do with France except that the commercial featured below can be seen here if you have access to German television channels.

Question

What do you get if you mix German car manufacturer Mercedes Benz with a couple of chickens and the 1980 "Upside down" hit from Motown legend Diana Ross?

 Answer

Well, if you're a smart creative executive in an advertising agency working on the Mercedes Benz account, it's a 45-second commercial promoting "Magic body control", the system in the S-class which is apparently "capable of detecting road surface undulations in advance" and thereby providing you with a smoother drive.

(screenshot from Mercedes Benz commercial)

The commercial is currently airing on German telly (no comment on whether it's better than the scheduled programmes) and a reason not to pop off to the loo during the break.

And the chickens - in so far as they are able to - don't look too fazed by the experience.

Cluck!

Le prang

I've admitted before that I'm not exactly the world's best driver.

Probably fair to middling would be the best description with parking remaining my weakest point.

Well that and negotiating ramps leading to and from underground car parks.

But that is ground well trodden - or not so well driven  - as the case may be.

As far as accidents go? Well, I've been pretty fortunate over the years.

I've only had one major incident. It happened almost two decades ago on a long drive back from Florence in Italy to Frankfurt in Germany.

I was in Switzerland late at night, clearly driving too quickly given the pouring rain conditions, with dogs in the back and my late mother in the passenger seat.

It was nothing too dramatic, just a one vehicle (mine) accident ending up in the middle of the motorway, the car written off and my dear old ma (unhurt) asking, "So can we continue now?"

Apart from that, nothing. Not even a bump or a dent (I don't consider that Paris underground ramp affair to have been an accident, rather a moment or two of close contact involving a borrowed clunker - well it resembled one by the time I had finished - and the walls of a car park).

Give the man a prize.

Until last week, that is.

Because that's when I had the "prang".

Of course it wasn't my fault - these sorts of things never are, are they?

But in the eyes of the law and for insurance purposes, it was.

After a dash around the supermarket and the less-than-15-items till, because these places are not the temples of delight for me that they seem to be for many others, I made my way back to my car.

Leaving the car park, I found myself behind a woman driving at less than five kilometres an hour with a couple of stalled engines thrown in for good measure.

I kept my distance, ready - I thought - for the next unexpectedly sudden stop.

But as we both approached the roundabout, I failed to anticipate that she would decide to come to a complete halt for no reason at all.

Even though there was nothing coming (although she later claimed otherwise) Clarice - for that turned out to be her name - slammed her foot on the brake.

I didn't.

It was the gentlest of bumps but enough to have us both jump out of our repective cars to inspect the damage.

Mine was unscathed - apart from a slightly buckled registration plate, while hers...well it seemed to have "suffered" the smallest of dents beneath the rear bumper, but one which looked suspiciously "older" to me.

I said as much, along with a few well chosen but polite (honestly) words on the level of her driving skills.

Clarice though, remained convinced that the blame lay fairly and squarely with me. She had stopped because of oncoming traffic and I was clearly in the wrong because I had driven into her.

"Isn't that right Gladys?" she said to her friend who had been sitting in the passenger seat.

Gladys didn't look entirely convinced, but nodded in circumspect agreement.

And then the official fun began.

Neither of us had a copy of the wonderfully named (in French) constat amiable d'accident automobile (accident report) in the car (I had recently had the annual clear-out and must have chucked it) required for insurance purposes if the accident is minor and the two parties involved decide to come to an amicable agreement.

Clarice didn't have one either because...well the reason will become clearer in a moment.

So what to do?

Well first of all, I took a couple of photos of the position of both cars when the two joined in unholy "bumplock".

Friendly enough after the initial "shock", Clarice didn't think much of my idea of driving together to the nearest insurance agent to request a form to fill out together.

Instead she wanted to call her husband for advice on what to do.

He, however, was unavailable.

So in true "Qui veut gagner des millions" ("Who wants to be a millionaire") style, Clarice opted to ring a close friend who convinced her that we should all make our way to the police municipale where we could sort it out.

The "amicable agreement" looked set to turn in to a major (road) incident: the main protagonists - that slightly bent registration plate and the dubious dent.

So off to the police municipale we headed. I led the way, as something told me that I would be better off in front of Clarice rather than behind her.

As luck would have it, and this being France, the police municipale had, of course, shut up shop for the day, although there was a contact number for emergencies.

I kept quiet, fearing the worst.

But the now emboldened Clarice had a "better" solution - and that without 'phoning a friend.

"The gendarmerie!" she exclaimed.

"We can go there and report the incident. Plus they'll have all the necessary forms available."

Gladys and I exchanged looks as though we sensed that this would prove to be yet another over-the-top reaction, but Clarice was not a woman to be stopped. She was in full quest mode...justice.

Besides, I wasn't in the mood for an argument and so, off we set.

A few moments later we all walked in to the gendarmerie compound to be greeted by a young man dragging on the remnants of a cigarette.

Explanations quickly made, he told us that the constat was all we really needed, whereby we could agree what had happened, countersign and then complete details of our own version of events for our respective insurance companies.

As for the constat - he didn't have one. We didn't have one. Did we really want to fill out an official report for something so minor?

"No," I thought, as providence once again stepped in, this time in the form of a call from Clarice's husband.

Her saviour. My saviour. He had a spare constat and would make his way into town so that we could finally reach that agreement which had Clarice had been so unwilling to accept in the first place.

We all bid farewell to the gendarme who wished us a pleasant evening and waited.

The 15 minutes Monsieur Husband of Clarice said he would need to arrive eventually turned into half an hour but, once he appeared, I quickly discovered I had an ally.

"Honey - again?" he  said, looking at his wife as he introduced himself to me.

I looked at him.

I looked at Clarice

"Again? I asked

"Yes, this is the third time in as many months," he replied.

I returned my gaze to Clarice, who preferred to look away sheepishly.

As Monsieur Husband of Clarice and I completed the tedious task of detaling what had happened and answering what seemed like a multitude of questions, his wife remained understandably quiet.

She no longer contested my version of events which, I knew, would not exonerate me in terms of the insurance claim.

And that suspicious dent?

Well that'll be for the insurance company to decide. They have the photos and the completed constat.

Sure, I'll have to drive extra carefully for the next five years apparently if I want to recover my no claims bonus.

On past form, that shouldn't be too much of a problem...unless I happen to "bump" into the likes of Clarice on the road.

But at least now, even though it's not a legal obligation in France, I've got a copy of the constat in the car...just in case.

Incomplete faction - Paris mayor announces new Marchelib' shoe sharing scheme

Do you live in or around Paris? Or are you thinking of a trip to the French capital?

Well here's some news for all those trying to make their way around the City of Light.

The mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoë, has plans to make it easier for you.

A bit wobbly on two wheels and still unsure as to whether you can defend yourself in the precarious bicycle lanes that have been squeezed out of the existing roads?

Fed up of going bumper-to-bumper and getting nowhere slowly on the Boulevard Périphérique, the ring road separating Paris from its suburbs?

Not keen on suffering unwanted, almost sexual, encounters while sardined into the Métro?

Delanoë,  has the answer.

First he gave us Vélib', the bicycle sharing system launched in the summer of 2007.

Then Delanoë introduced the electric car sharing Autolib' programme guaranteed to annoy any driver stuck behind one of those flippin' dinky toys and render even the most mild-mannered motorist (not easy in Paris) barmy.

And now he's planning to go one step further with the world's first ever shoe sharing scheme - Marchelib'.

The idea is a simple one: using the same pick up and drop off stations already available for Velib', Parisians, out-of-towners, visitors - in fact just about everyone - will be able to grab a pair of walking shoes or boots and strut their stuff happily through the City of Light.

The announcement came on Monday as part of a package of measures aimed at trying to reduce pollution levels in Paris - still too high at certain times of the year and which contravene EU regulations - and simultaneously piss off the maximum number of motorists.

Among the proposals are a reduction of the speed limit on the ever-flowing (as if) Boulevard Périphérique from 80km/h to 70km/h (as if), a ban all cars older than 17 years from the city centre (and drivers with less than 17 years of experience), the introduction of a péage, or toll, on the motorways immediately surrounding the capital to limit the number of trucks and the launch of Marchelib'.

"These propositions represent a new step in our battle against pollution," Delanoë said on RTL radio.

"Parisians have changed their habits in the past decade because we've dared (to introduce progressive policies) but pollution still remains a scourge," he continued.

Delanoë added that Marchelib' would not only help cut drastically the levels of pollution, it would also make Parisians fitter, healthier and give a boost to the economy by insisting that the shoes supplied would only be "Made in France".

The mayor, a prominent member of the Socialist party, said he would be talking to the government minister in charge of industrial renewal, Arnaud Montebourg, to help draw up a list of French cobblers who could meet the new schemes requirements.

Time to strut your stuff.

Take it away Nancy!

Full speed ahead M. le Président - François Hollande filmed speeding

So François Hollande is normal! Well, in presidential terms anyway.

He was filmed speeding on his way from Paris to Normandy on Wednesday, and the French media is having a light-hearted field day with the story.

François Hollande's route (screenshot BFM TV report)

All right, Hollande wasn't actually at the wheel. But the car in which he was being driven (très normal, n'est-ce pas?) was clocked going at almost 140 kms per hour in a zone where the speed limit was set at 70 kms per hour.

And that apparently wasn't the only "misdemeanour".

His car reached speeds of almost 180 kms per hour on the motorway (the limit in France is 130) and failed to stop at the toll booth to pay.

François Hollande at D-Day landing ceremony (screenshot BFM TV)

Hollande, who's not exactly known for his perfect timekeeping, was on his way to attend a ceremony to mark the D-Day landings in 1944 and, in true paparrazi-style befitting the coverage of a president's movements, several reporters went along for the ride.

Not in the same vehicle mind you, but on motorbikes and cars trying to keep pace with Hollande.

Hence they knew exactly what speed his car was going.

Among them was a team from the rolling news channel BFM TV, happy to be one of the first to report the "scoop" that Hollande had been setting an example to the rest of us which was far from being "exemplary".

At this point it's probably worth remembering a particular clause in that "code of conduct" Hollande had all the newly-appointed government ministers sign when they took office: "to respect the rules of the road when they were driving or being driven."

  
BFM helpfully calculated what sort of punishments we more "ordinary" citizens would face if caught

They include a €3,750 fine, the immediate suspension of a driving licence for three years, six points lost and expropriation of the vehicle.

Thank goodness Hollande isn't quite as "normal" as the rest of us.

One French couple's recipe for to avoid paying traffic fines - and it's legal

It's one of those absurd but true stories which both defies belief and illustrates how a loophole in the law, even in a country such as France which seems to have so many of them, can be exploited to its full potential.

As reported in the regional daily Nice Matin, a couple in the French city of Cannes have managed to rack up fines for traffic offences amounting to the grand total of just over €23,000.

Driving documents (from Wikipedia)

The infractions date back to July 2010 and so far there have been 70 of them - for speeding, illegal parking, not paying at motorway toll booths...and the list goes on.

Oh yes, and as well as the fines there have also been points deducted for those speeding offences.

But the charges against the couple have been dropped - even though it's clear they must be the ones committing the offences.

And it's all because of that loophole in the law which has allowed them to register the car they use in the name of their son.

He is, according to the carte grise or the car registration papers, the legal owner of the car - a Fiat Punto - and as such considered by law to be the driver - unless proven otherwise.

So why not charge him, you might be asking.

Well he's only four years old and obviously is too young to be held accountable.

And as his parents refused to attend a court hearing, the judge had no option but to drop the charges.

"It's clearly absurd but that's the way the law operates," the judge said in dismissing the case.

"Because the parents didn't attend the hearing, the only thing I can do it drop the charges," he continued.

"It isn't sufficient to assume that they were trying to get away with not paying fines, it also has to be proven that they were the ones actually driving (when the offences took place).

The law allowing parents to register vehicles in the name of their children was apparently introduced in 1984 and was supposed to allow 16 and 17-year-old learner drivers to have a car.

Wedding party procession brings to Paris ring road to a standstill

A word of warning if you're ever invited to a wedding in Paris.

Make sure you don't get too carried away in the festivities by infuriating other drivers in the capital or worse still the police by joining in the potential havoc of the procession of vehicles making its way from the official ceremony to the reception.

Le Boulevard Périphérique, Porte Maillot (screenshot YouTube video)

You could end up facing a prison sentence, a fine and the suspension of your licence.

That's a lesson two guests learned the hard way after they attended a wedding at the end of April.

After tying the knot, the newlyweds and their cortège made their way on to the four-lane ring road le boulevard périphérique, creating a two-kilometre tailback.

It's a practice which according to police has become "more and more frequent in Paris" and one which "frustrates other motorists caught up in the congestion."

As the accompanying video posted on YouTube last year of a similar marriage cortège on le boulevard périphérique attests, the wedding party might be having fun, but is sure doesn't help the flow of traffic - far from it.



April's celebrations all proved too much for one motorist who put in a call to the police to put an end to the festivities after being caught up in the jam,

When they arrived, the police arrested two guests who had been "weaving from lane to lane without warning"  apparently "unaware that their behaviour constituted a criminal offence."

They now face a court date at the end of May, a possible two-year prison sentence and a €4,500 fine as well as the withdrawal of their licences.

A wedding some certainly won't forget in a hurry.

Renault's same-sex marriage commercial

Some might consider Renault's latest TV spot to be commercialising the issue of same-sex marriage, others would probably say it's another step in making it socially acceptable in France even if it's not legal - yet.

Maybe both are right, but in any case it seems that the French car manufacturer has come up with a clever idea to keep its Twingo campaign going in a way which is bound to appeal to a generally younger, hipper and more progressive-thinking consumer.

Combining humour, social mores (not to be too pretentious) and a sometimes predictable punch line, the Renault Twingo campaign, in its different forms, has been running for a couple of years.

There are three new spots currently airing on French television, including one featuring same-sex marriage.

A young woman and her father are making their way to the town hall. It's the big day obviously; the wedding.

They enter the room where the ceremony is scheduled to take place and see the groom waiting for them to make the traditional walk with the father accompanying the bride.

Except this is a Renault commercial and things are never quite as they seem.

As they reach the groom, the young woman smiles and says, "Congratulations papa," before kissing him and going to sit down while he steps up to marry his man.

Ah.

Yes all very light-hearted, politically correct (heavens that'll offend some) and in keeping with a campaign that is up-to-date in its thinking or even ahead of its time: the "drag queen", the "strawberry condom" and the "sexy poster" (click on the titles to see them and here for a brief explanation in English) have all been used in recent years.

The latest is again just 30 seconds long or short, but - forgive the pun - spot on, especially if you support same sex marriage, which still isn't recognised in France.

There again as Renault says in its oh-too-clever strap line "Times change. The Twingo too."

French motorist "forgets" wife in the middle of the night

You've certainly heard of people abandoning animals on the side of the road - but rarely (surely) about a driver forgetting his partner.

It's apparently a true story worthy of the silly summer season and one which the national radio station RTL says is that of "an airhead at the wheel of a car".



A man somehow "left" his wife on the side of the road without realising she was missing.

It happened, according to Agence France Presse, in the wee (how appropriate - as will become clear in a moment) hours of Wednesday morning.

The couple were driving along a B road in the southwestern département of Tarn et Garonne and stopped just short of the village of Saint-Loup.

It's a pretty part of the country at this time of year with rolling hills and fields of sunflowers in full bloom and dotted with vineyards - not that the couple would have been able to see much as it was three o'clock.

Both apparently needed to pee and while the wife walked a little distance away from the car to do what was necessary, the husband was able to...well, let's just say it was easier for him.

Not surprisingly he was the first back and this is where the tale takes on those ridiculous proportions.

He "hit the road", driving off, seemingly not realising that he had left his wife behind!

For her part, she found herself barefoot and in the middle of nowhere without a mobile 'phone.

After walking some distance she knocked on the door of the first house she came upon, reports AFP, and only then was she able to call her errant husband, who returned to collect her - two-and-a-half hours later.

What's the betting he got something of an earful?

More details of the name, age and background of the "happy couple" when they become available, but it's somehow difficult to imagine the husband wanting any further information being made public.

Store manager rescues girl from car - father threatens to file a complaint

It has been hot in France over the past couple of days - very hot.

Temperatures have climbed as high as 40 degrees Celsius in some parts of the country.

(from Wikipedia , author: Lykaestria)

Not only is it inadvisable to leave child alone in a car, it's also dangerous and neglectful.

Everyone surely knows that it's not only inadvisable to leave a child unattended in a car, it's also dangerous as the temperature inside can be life-threatening, even with the windows open.

Some parents though appear to "know better" as in the case of a German couple over the weekend in the town of Villeneuve-lès-Béziers in the south of France.

They left their three-year-old daughter alone in their vehicle in the car park of a supermarket while they went about shopping.

Other customers noticed her by herself in the four-wheel drive and informed the store's management who made three announcements (two in French and one in German) asking the owners of the vehicle to come to the information desk immediately.

There was no response.

In the meantime the store's deputy director, Vincent Touya, had gone out to the car park to see for himself what state the girl was in, and even though the car windows were open slightly, as he told the regional daily, Midi Libre, he had to take immediate action.

"She seemed to be all right but the car was in full sun and the outside temperature was already 30 degrees," he told the newspaper.

"I put in a call to the emergency services and they told me I had to get her out of the car at once," he continued.

"So I took a hammer and broke the window. She was bright red, sweating heavily and when I took her in my arms her hair was soaked as though she had just taken a shower."

He carried the girl into the store and gave her some water and food.

A happy ending and Touya a hero!

Well that's what you would think.

Somehow the parents weren't of the same opinion.



Il secourt un enfant, ses parents portent... par Europe1fr

They were eventually found and according to Touya didn't appear in the least concerned - quite the opposite.

"The mother just continued shopping and filling her trolley," he told Europe 1 radio.

"And the father looked at me as though I were guilty of something."

But it gets worse.

Far from admitting any negligence, the parents insisted that their daughter had been asleep in the car and they hadn't wanted to wake her.

"There wasn't a word of thanks from either of them and the father even said he would file a complaint against me because I had broken the window of his four-wheel drive," said Touya.

"Everyone else in the store was outraged."

Citroën DS4 and the ad campaign's similarities to the DSK affair

It's a tricky one surely.

What do you do when just as you're about to launch a new product after time, money and thought have been spent in preparing an attention-grabbing advertising campaign, along comes an event with the potential to scupper everything?

You go ahead regardless, hoping that it'll not have an adverse effect on image and sales.

Citroën DS4 (screenshot from television spot)

The product is a new model from the French car manufacturer Citroën.

THAT event was the arrest of the former head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn - or DSK as he's more commonly known in France - on charges of sexual assault.

Citroën launched the advertising campaign for its DS4 just a couple of weeks after DSK's arrest.

And it wasn't just the similarity in pronunciation (in French) of the car's name and the sobriquet of the former frontrunner for the Socialist party's primary for next year's French presidential race - DS4 DSK - that raised a few eyebrows.

The television commercial spot - complete with the slogan "Le pouvoir de dire non" ("The power to say no") had, what the weekly news magazine L'Express said were "echoes of the scandal which had made national and international headlines over the weeks preceding the official launch."

(screenshot from television spot)

From the start of the spot with that perhaps unfortunate and ill-timed tag line, the unintended allusions to the affair that everyone in France has been talking about come thick and fast.

"What do you want? Love, money, power?" runs one line of the voiceover.

"How many times have you said yes?" asks another.

"During your life you say 'Yes' all the time, but have you ever tried to say 'No'?"

The idea is of course - and one that's spelled out towards the end - is to convey that the DS4 is somehow "nonconformist" and doesn't "resemble any other vehicle".

But somehow while you're watching your mind is on something else entirely.

Citroën and its advertising agency H decided against pulling the commercial and even if, as the cultural (focussing on Rock music) weekly Les Inrockuptibles suggests, Internauts become tired of reading so much about DSK - the politician that is - at least nobody can blame Citroën for "not being talked about".

And if sales aren't that good?

Well at least Citroën can take comfort that in January the DS4 was named "The most beautiful car of the year 2010" (even though it was only launched in May 2011 - go figure) by the Festival automobile international.

French government's speed camera policy mess

The French government has got itself into a right pickle over its decision to remove road signs warning motorists they were entering an area monitored by speed cameras or radar.

The interior minister - the seemingly omnipresent Claude Guéant - announced earlier this month that the signs would be disappearing from French roads and motorways.

It was part of the government's reaction to the increase in the number of deaths in road accidents in April - a jump of almost 20 per cent over the same month last year.

There were grumblings within the governing Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a popular movement, UMP) from parliamentarians that they hadn't been consulted, and from organisations representing motorists such as 40 millions d'automobilistes which insisted that the signs had "an instructive role as they informed drivers they were entering a dangerous area and would certainly be fined if they didn't watch their speed."

But Guéant persisted. The signs would disappear, "The decision was final and there would be no going back."

He was supported up by the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, who perhaps seeing a simple chance to appeal to the electorate (not that he's in campaigning mode of course and after all who can turn round and say they're in favour of road deaths increasing?) insisted that he would not "allow a rise in the number of deaths caused by road accidents" and the measure was one he would "absolutely not give up on."

Even the prime minister François Fillon, usually so savvy in assessing the strength of public opinion, threw his hat into the ring to support the decision.

That favourite of French pastimes, "polemic" then went into overdrive with some members of the governing UMP arguing that they fully supported the government's decision while others were less than happy as the first signs were removed last week.

So unhappy in fact that a group of 73 of them wrote to Fillon to express the anger and frustration felt by "millions of electors".

Oh yes - France is in a pre-election year, both presidential and parliamentarian, just in case you hadn't realised).

"We share your ambition to treat road safety issues seriously but we're disappointed by the complete lack of consultation there has been," they wrote.

"In addition we believe that there are other more urgent measures that could be taken to improve road safety that wouldn't be so unpopular."

Did you see that? "Wouldn't be so unpopular."

Pre-election year remember.

Speed camera (from Wikipedia)

On Tuesday the government announced that it was stopping the process of doing away with road signs indicating speed radar.

Or rather it sort of made that announcement.

Or rather it didn't make that announcement at all.

You can judge for yourself from the somewhat confusing explanation Guéant gave viewers during an interview on France 2's prime time evening news.

"There's no change in policy," he insisted.

"Road safety remains a priority."

All right so far. But then it gets complicated.

"I confirm that the signs indicating the presence of a radar will be removed," he continued.

Right.

"They'll be replaced by signs indicating the speed at which a motorist is driving."

Hmm.

"But these new signs won't necessarily be in exactly the same place as the previous signs telling drivers they were entering an area monitored by radar."

Huh?

"There'll always be a new sign (indicating speed) at some distance near to where there's a fixed camera but there'll also be the same sign at points where there's no radar.

It'll be up to local authorities to decide where exactly they will be. "

Confused?

Apparently the very existence of those new signs, which only "sometimes" indicate the presence of a radar isn't backtracking of any sort.

But somehow the government has managed to ties itself into knots and come up with an inspired policy that was already in place - well more or less.

Duh!

Renault Twingo - France's most-stolen car

So you might be thinking that those big, showy luxurious cars are the ones thieves find most attractive.

Think again!

Because according to a study released by the weekly car magazine Auto Plus, it's a much humbler vehicle that tops the list of France's most-stolen cars; the Renault Twingo I.

Renault Twingo I (from Wikipedia, author Rudolf Stricker)

"A popular car that can be found everywhere and is easy to break in to," is how the magazine describes the car, which finds itself at the top of the list for the third consecutive year; a list which was compiled based on data supplied by car insurance companies and banks.

Second spot goes to another small car, the Smart Fortwo, which, according to Sandrine Darré who conducted the study, "Is also easy to break in to and whose parts could easily be sold for a high price on the black market."

Rounding off the podium is another Renault in the shape of in the shape of the Mégane 2.

It's perhaps not so surprising to find the French car manufacturer so well represented given the fact that it also places well among the country's top-selling cars with several different models.

The highest-placed top-of-the-range car was the Porsche Cayenne, just missing the "podium" in fourth but which Dorré says attracts another kind of thief (obviously) and for quite different reasons.

"The Cayenne is much more likely to be stolen by an organised crime network," she said.

"For example if there's an 'order' from abroad. But it's also used much more in committing other crimes such as robberies and that's why it's ranks so high in the poll."

Of course the figures are not purely based on the numbers of cars stolen.

If that were the case then the Cayenne would probably not figure on the list as it sales are far lower than other more popular cars.

Let's face it, how many people can afford (to buy) one?

Instead the ranking is calculated individually for each model on a ratio of cars stolen for 100,000 insured; 245 for the Twingo and 169 for the SmartFortwo.

There's also some good news in the study.

The number of cars stolen in France was at a 30-year low in last year at 121, 521 or 332 a day.

But Dorré warns the trend could be reversed in the coming years as "electronic theft" whereby thieves can use equipment to counter inbuilt security measures such as the immobiliser, become more widespread.


Palmarès des voitures les plus volées en 2010
envoyé par BFMTV. - L'actualité du moment en vidéo.

Loose horses bring motorway to a standstill

Drivers on a motorway in eastern France had more than just the usual rush hour traffic to contend with on Wednesday morning after 23 horses broke loose from an equestrian centre and galloped their way to freedom.

Horse rescue on A36 motorway, screen shot FR3 Television

Somehow the 23 horses from equestrian centre in the village of Brognard managed to escape from a field in which they had been grazing and headed off towards the A36.

As the regional daily L'Est républicain reports, once the cavalcade hit the motorway between the towns of Montbéliard and Belfort, the horses panicked, breaking up into smaller groups and galloping off in different directions.

Police, firefighters and workers on a nearby high-speed railway line joined forces to take matters in hand, reports the paper, but it still took a couple of hours for all the horses to be rounded up before the traffic could return to normal.

(You can see some more photos of the rescue on the newspaper's site)

The only wounds the horses sustained apparently were to a couple of cuts that needed stitches and one horse which required a sedative after finding itself trapped between the motorway's security barriers.

The whole incident could have had a far unhappier ending as a spokesman for the equestrian centre said when contacted by the French website Le Post.

There had been 38 horses in total in the field but 15 of them had stayed put.

"The other 23 are now back in their boxes and are under observation," the spokesperson told the website.

"Fortunately no person was injured during the breakout and there wasn't a pile up on the motorway."

Des chevaux sur l'A 36

French automaker Renault faces opposition over new car name

Spare a thought for Zoé Renault.

The Parisian could be in for quite a ribbing if the French car manufacturer Renault (no relation apparently) goes ahead with rumoured plans to name its new electric zero emission car "Zoé".

She fears being the butt of many a cruel joke, and in an interview with the national daily Le Parisien-Aujourd'hui en France the 23-year-old student said she couldn't bear to hear constant referrals to "Zoé has broken down" or "Zoé needs to go in for a service" should the car manufacturer decide that's the name for the vehicle due be launched in 2012.

Renault (Zoé that is) has hired David Koubbi, a lawyer who, the BBC says "specialises in the protection of first names" and he has already sent a letter to the car giant's CEO Carlos Ghosn urging him and others to think again.

And in his letter Koubbi takes up the cause not just of the 23-year-old but also all the other Zoés throughout France - a growing number apparently as there are already more than 30,000 and it figured among the most popular girls names in 2009.

"My clients strongly oppose the intention of your company to use the name Zoé for a car," the letter says in an extract published in the newspaper.

"They see this as an infringement of their personal rights," it continues.

"You'll certainly understand that parents have carefully considered the name they give their child and it's intolerable to see it trivialised and exploited for purely commercial and marketing purposes."

For its part Renault seems to be taking the issue seriously with a spokesperson telling the newspaper that the name was only one given to a concept car and there had been no decision taken as to what it would be called.

"We completely understand the reaction of this young woman," the car manufacturer told the newspaper.

"At the moment it's a name given just to a concept car and one which was chosen because it sounded good, is short, dynamic and easy to use for sales abroad and just as importantly contains the letters 'Z' and 'E' for 'Zero Emissions'."

Not necessarily an explanation with which the 23-year-old is in happy.

"In Greek 'Zoé' means 'life'," she told the newspaper.

"And it's a name my parents gave me when I was born because they wanted me have one that was different from other girls and it was also a symbol because my father was ill at the time," she continued.

"I don't want my identity to be associated with a car for my whole life. It would be unbearable."

Poster ad' pokes fun at Sarkozy's height

There could be trouble ahead for the car rental company Sixt following its latest advertising campaign.

A German poster for the company carries a picture of the French hatchback the Citroën C3 with the slogan encouraging customers to "Do the same as Madame Bruni, choose a small French model" ("Machen Sie es wie Madame Bruni. Nehmen Sie sich einen kleinen Franzosen").


Oops.

The reference of course is to the height difference between the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, and his wife, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy.

Sarkozy reportedly measures 1m65 or 5' 5" (it differs according to which source you believe) while his wife is 1m78 or 5' 10".

"The advertisement is just meant to be amusing," says the president of Sixt in France, Jean-Philippe Doyen.

"It's typical of the kind of humour we use in our campaigns and it's not meant to be taken seriously."

As yet there has been no reaction to the Sixt poster from the couple. They're currently on a trip to China.

But given their past record, it's surely unlikely they'll be "amused".

Back in 2008 they successfully sued the low-cost carrier Ryanair for the damages after the airline used an unauthorised photo of them in an advertisement.

And during his presidency Sarkozy has resorted to legal action on more than one occasion, such as the infamous "Voodoo doll" case

The height difference between the French president and his wife has often been the subject of satire in this country and the opposition Socialist party has referred to him at times as suffering from "small man syndrome".

He's known to wear raised shoes in public, while his wife prefers to wear flats.

And then there's the so-called "Sarkozy stool" with which the French president travels and has been caught using on several occasions to give him the appearance of being taller than he actually is when making official speeches.

The media had a field day back June 2009 when a video caught the French president using the footstool during a speech at the D-Day commemorations in Normandy.

And in September last year there was a clip on "Le Petit Journal" on Canal + poking fun at Sarkozy's use of a similar "accessory" while making a speech to the United Nations.



Just for the record Sarkozy is apparently one of the shortest world leaders.

Although he's taller than the Russian president, Dmitry Medvedev (1m60 or 5' 3") he's considerably shorter than his US counterpart Barack Obama (1m88 or 6' 2), the British prime minister, Gordon Brown (1m80 or 5' 11") and the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel (1m72 or 5' 8").

Marseille's overzealous radars have motorists seeing red

Careful how you drive if you happen to be paying a visit to the southeastern French city of Marseille.

Recently-installed radars are doing their work - and then some - and not always to the benefit of the law-abiding motorist it would appear.

In a manner of speaking they're going into overdrive to such an extent that they're even flashing stationary motorists...or nothing at all.

The "culprits" - for let's call them that - are radars installed at traffic lights at notoriously busy junctions in the city.

There are five of them so far and their arrival was greeted with something of a fanfare when they were first made an appearance in France's second largest city last October.

The intention was and remains not to measure whether drivers were keeping to the speed limit, but simply to ensure they respected the traffic lights.

There were a few (inevitable) teething problems in the first couple of weeks, when some of the radars were taking their job a little too seriously and flashing any and every passing vehicle, no matter what colour the light.

But as it was a test phase during which no fines were being handed out for motorists "caught on camera", their installation was greeted with what could perhaps be called a certain degree of "favourable sceptism".

According to a poll conducted at the time by the regional newspaper, La Provence, 58 per cent of those questioned said they welcomed the new radars.


Admittedly there were of course some who thought that the whole scheme was just another way of the local authority to increase its coffers with each infraction carrying not only a loss of points but also a €135 fine.

Those initial problems don't seem to have been solved though, and the radars are still flashing in cases where there has been no infraction and that opens up the way for anyone to make a challenge as far as a local lawyer, Arnaud Attal is concerned.

"The system just isn't reliable," he says.

"I dread to how often people who cross these junctions several times a day such as local traders are being 'flashed' (for no reason at all)," he continues.

"Sometimes the radars go off when there isn't even a car around."

Whatever the problems drivers in Marseille might currently be facing, the problem could get worse.

The scheme is due to be widened to include 150 similar radars being installed in the whole of the region of Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur (PACA) in south-eastern France.

Happy driving?

Panicking ponies join busy Paris traffic

Now here's a sight you don't see every day in Paris - thank goodness.



And one motorists on the boulevard périphérique, the busy ring road around the French capital, probably had a hard time believing: riderless ponies galloping through the traffic.

It happened on Saturday afternoon as some children were out riding ponies belonging to the Cartoucherie equestrian centre located next to the Bois de Vincennes in the east of Paris.

They - the ponies that is - were suddenly startled and hurtled off to join the traffic as this amateur video, featured on the website of the national daily edition of Le Parisien - Aujourd'hui en France, shows.

Des poneys en cavale sur l'A4 et le périph parisien
par thony911

"Some cars arrived that were driving too fast and sounded their horns," Raphaël Mollion, the director of the centre said.

"One of the ponies took fright and started the stampede with the others following."

In total eight ponies threw their riders and headed off into the distance towards the busy boulevard périphérique, some making it as far as to a stretch of one of the motorways leading into Paris - the A4.

While several of the panicking ponies were rounded up quite quickly, others eluded police and firefighters for nearly two hours before they too ended their dalliance with delights of Paris traffic - and French drivers - and were caught.

"It could all have ended very differently," admitted Mollion.

"None of the children who fell off the ponies was hurt, and neither were any of the ponies."