The finger on the (Opel) Mokka button

Opel is currently featuring former (or is that still) German super model Claudia Schiffer in its television commercials, with the 44-year-old "captivating (in Opel's own words) TV audiences around Europe with her chic ‘It’s a German’ ad' campaigns for the Opel Astra, Meriva, Mokka and Zafira Tourer."

Claudia Schiffer (screenshot Opel Mokka clip)

A pretty wise choice as Schiffer has more than a touch of class, elegance and intelligence to her, and Opel - the German subsidiary of the US car manufacturer General Motors - has its own very definite (German) identity and reputation for reliability and style.

And that's a point driven (ouch) home in the "It's a German" campaign.

The commercial for the Mokka is one that has been appearing frequently on French tellies.

Perhaps that's not a surprise as the market for subcompact crossover SUVs is a tough one and includes two "homemade" French models: the Peugeot 2008 and the Renault Captur.


Anyway, if you're not concentrating particularly during the 30-second spot, you could be forgiven for thinking that Opel is being intentionally "equivocal" while also relying on (and simultaneously breaking) gender stereotypes.

Because there's the matter of whose finger is really pressing the car's hill descent control button.

Finger on the button (screenshot Opel Mokka clip)

It's obvious really, but the lack of dialogue-action continuity could have you thinking otherwise.

The "plot" for the commercial runs along the following lines.

Schiffer pulls into the entrance of an underground car park.

A (smooth) male attendant chauvinistically asks (the of course blonde and by implication incapable) Schiffer whether she'll manage it down the ramp in her Opel Mokka.

"It's pretty steep," he tells her. "Maybe you need some help".

"OK," replies Schiffer. "Would you mind pressing that button."

It's at this point that a perfectly manicured and nail-lacquered index finger is seen pressing the hill descent control button with the attendant looking surprised as he steps away from the car and Schiffer accelerates down the ramp.

And this is where you might do a double take.

As Schiffer asked the attendant to press the hill descent control button as a way of "helping her" does that mean that he obliged and the finger belonged to him?

Of course not. But there's enough ambiguity of continuity and dialogue in the French clip to make you think (especially if you hadn't been paying attention) that...well, anything might be possible.

So a quick check on both the English and German  versions reveals exactly the same dialogue and that finger pressing...which, although of course it must be Schiffer's could just be (for those who wish car manufacturers would surprise viewers a little more often by breaking with the clichés) the attendant's...oder?

Gisèle Bündchen stars in Chanel N°5 latest commercial

After all the teasing and taunting the new commercial for Chanel N°5 has been released.

Starring Brazilian supermodel (such a cliché) and directed by Australian Baz Luhrmann, it is without doubt an advertising "masterpiece" (which means it captures your attention, if only for its extravagance), running to over three minutes at its longest version and featuring all the glamour and style you would expect.

Gisèle Bündchen (screenshot from Chanel N°5: "The One That I Want - The Film"

But does the self-proclaimed "world's most desirable fragrance" need to spend the spondoolicks on a campaign (and a launch party) for a product which already projects an image of unobtainable luxury.

Bündchen alone was reportedly paid $4 million for her role (admittedly less than the $7 million Brad Pitt apparently received for his yawn-along part in a previous commercial) - and that launch party in New York?

Gisèle Bündchen (screenshot from Chanel N°5: "The One That I Want - The Film

Well, as usual, Chanel is keeping mum about the figures. But the marketing people must know what they're doing - n'est ce pas?

Opinions are divided over the new commercial. "Wonderful" for some, "average" for others.

Perhaps the most captivating element as, in the words of the New York Times review, Bündchen "an overtaxed modern gal" struggles with the complexities of every day life (as if) such as "surfing in the Hamptons, sending her daughter off in the care of a nanny, getting in a quick photo shoot and reuniting with her man for a canoodle at a jazz club" is the background track.

It's an almost soporofic but at the same time hypnotic remake by US singer-songwriter Matthew Hemerlein - better known (apparently) under his stage name Lo-Fang - of the appropriately entitled (for the purposes of the commercial) "You're the won that I want" from the 1978 film version of the musical "Grease"

Conclusion - beautifully shot, definitely bewitching on first viewing (it holds your attention) but as triumphant as previous campaigns - the jury's out.

And whether, as Luhrmann insists, Bündchen "is the perfect modern No.5 woman" - well the answer is a resounding "no."

That accolade belongs - and this is going to appear entirely contradictory to many probably - to the woman, who when asked what she wore in bed, famously said "Chanel No. 5, of course".


Marilyn Monroe surely remains as modern today as she did back in April 1960 - a fact Chanel recognised in a 2012 retro (in fashion you just have to wait a bit for the "old" to become "new" again) campaign.

Marilyn Monroe (screenshot from "Marilyn and N°5 - Inside Chanel")

Marilyn Monroe (screenshot from "Marilyn and N°5 - Inside Chanel")

Anyway, here's Bündchen in Luhrmann's "mini-film" commercial.

You judge for yourselves.

Health insurance company's mixed message?

Television advertisements can be a wonderful, don't you think?

Imaginative, creative, inspiring, amusing - take your pick.

And for the less enthusiastic, well they provide the chance to channel hop or pop to the loo when the commercial break interrupts TV viewing.

Currently showing on French telly is a spot for the health insurance company, Malakoff Médéric.

It's a 30 second salutary reminder of the importance of health insurance and showing us how we can be inspired by the younger generation.

screenshot from Musique de Pub's YouTube channel

It features a young cyclist who, first of all, rides past a woman trying to hail a taxi.

The cyclist reaches over and rings the bell of a rental bike, one of many in a rack close to where the woman is standing. A less-than-subtle message that it would be a healthier option - as the woman heads over to them.

Next up, some workmen, with the cyclist tapping on their helmets, which have been left on a table. As he rides off, the workmen are seen putting them on.

Another subtle message.

Finally, a woman whose glasses have broken. The cyclist stops and gestures towards an opticians. She's last seen entering.

Throughout the commercial, which incidentally uses "Temps à nouveau", the first single from the excellent Jean-Louis Aubert's 1993 album "H" as its soundtrack, there a voiceover telling us (just in case we hadn't got the message) that the young generation fully understands the importance of health insurance and that Malakoff Médéric gives both employees and companies the means to look after our health needs better.

The message is reinforced by the wording on the cyclist's tee-shirt changing throughout the commercial to coincide with each brief encounter: "What do we do to look after our health?" to "less stress", "protection" and "make savings".

All well and good.

Except there's one glaring oversight surely.

The cyclist - so concerned about the health and safety of others - isn't wearing a helmet.

Oh well, never mind. There's no legal requirement to wear one in France and besides some would argue that statistics show they offer little or no protection.

So that's all right then.

Here's the commercial on Musique de Pub's YouTube channel.

Mercedes Benz disco groovin' chicken commercial

Nothing whatsoever to do with France except that the commercial featured below can be seen here if you have access to German television channels.

Question

What do you get if you mix German car manufacturer Mercedes Benz with a couple of chickens and the 1980 "Upside down" hit from Motown legend Diana Ross?

 Answer

Well, if you're a smart creative executive in an advertising agency working on the Mercedes Benz account, it's a 45-second commercial promoting "Magic body control", the system in the S-class which is apparently "capable of detecting road surface undulations in advance" and thereby providing you with a smoother drive.

(screenshot from Mercedes Benz commercial)

The commercial is currently airing on German telly (no comment on whether it's better than the scheduled programmes) and a reason not to pop off to the loo during the break.

And the chickens - in so far as they are able to - don't look too fazed by the experience.

Cluck!

Evian's "Water babies" - or are they?

It can't be easy trying to sell something that, when all's said and done, most of us (at least here in France) can all get from a tap.

But French mineral water companies seem to have a knack for being inventive.

Remember a couple of years ago the Contrex (all right, so the company is now a branch of the Swiss group Nestlé, but the product remains French) campaign featuring a pink neon stripper?

Contrex commercial (screenshot from YouTube clip)

It was a great way to make you sit up and take notice every time it appeared on the box.

Contrex has recently followed that up with a similarly amusing exercise-themed approach - this time featuring scantily clad "real firemen".

Contrex commercial (screenshot from YouTube clip)

And then of course there are the 2009 "Evian babies" - something of a phenomenon in the advertising world apparently, notching up  over 67 million views on YouTube (again you can see it here if you wish) and holding true to the company's premise that, "This baby is a symbol of you and how you feel when you experience Evian, and a symbol of the purity of our water."

No comment on the marketing speak!

At least the ad' was original and entertaining, and that's probably why the company has decided to stick with what works in terms of getting its product noticed with its new Baby&Me commercial.

In short, it features a number of adults catching reflections of baby-like versions of themselves in a shop window and breaking into a moment of delirious dance.

Evian "Baby&Me" (screenshot from YouTube clip)

With 40 million views in just over a week, it has already gone viral and there's no doubting that it's a clever ad'...and original too, don't you think?



Except, hang about.

In terms of concept, if not execution, doesn't Evian's new commercial look just a little similar to one that was released in 2012 by the Tunisian mineral water company Safia?

Take a look at both of them and see what you think.

Maybe not so "creative" and "original" after all.

Shame.



As an extra for those of you who follow and "enjoy" French politics, here's a parody version produced by Canal + "La Nouvelle Edition" and featuring François Hollande, Ségolène Royal, Jean-Luc Mélenchon, Jean-Louis Borloo, Nadine Morano and Christine Boutin.

Enjoy!

La Nouvelle Edition du 26/04 - Pub Evian

Hug your Éric Bompard "irresistable cashmere"

Ah commercials.

They've very much been part of our lives for decades now, haven't they.

Some people love 'em; so much so that they insist on arriving early at the cinema to enjoy sitting through them before the real reason for being there - er, the film - begins.

And when it comes to TV, well don't make too much noise during the break otherwise you might just incur their wrath as they gaze in open-mouthed wonderment at the small screen.

All right so the bottom line is surely that commercials are made to sell a service or a product you might not necessarily want or need.

On principal maybe you reject the very nature of what they represent.

But - and there's no getting away from it, even for the most cynical - some of them are ruddy clever.

Such is the case surely of "The hug", the latest offering from Éric Bompard.

"The hug" (screenshot from Èric Bompard commercial)

The company, founded in 1986, specialises in ready-to-wear cashmere clothing and accessories for men, women and children: pricey perhaps, but you get what you pay for.

It's one of those luxury goods lines, if you will, at which the French seem to excel.

If you need proof then just pick up the latest copy of the weekly magazine, Elle, in which the country's former first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy gives an exclusive interview for the first time since she and her husband, Nicolas Sarkozy (just in case you needed reminding) left the Elysée palace.

As well as talking about the unlikelihood of husband making another bid for office, giving advice to the current first lady, girlfriend or whatever you want to call her, Valérie Trierweiler, to tie the knot with François Hollande and enthusing about her upcoming fourth album, Bruni-Sarkozy is also pictured alongside the interview and on the front cover, looking seductively radiant - or should that be radiantly seductive - wearing an Èric Bompard...Pull V oversize ultrafin.

Très glamour.

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy (Elle magazine cover)

So that's the seal of approval from a former top model handily following the recent launch of "The hug".

It's part of the company's "L'étreinte" or "embrace" campaign and quite frankly, it's a delightful spot whose timing couldn't be better.

There has been a sudden and dramatic drop in temperatures over the past couple of days in France and, as we're likely to be reminded ad nauseam over the next upcoming weeks, Christmas isn't that far away.

To top off the whole warm, fuzzy feeling, there's that music to accompany, the aria "Nessun dorma" from Puccini's "Turandot".

It couldn't get much better.

Enjoy.

Friday's French music break - Irma, "I know"

Friday's French music break this week is from a young woman whose voice you might recognise but perhaps cannot immediately place.

It's Irma with the single "I know", a song that has had massive exposure by being featured in a Google Chrome commercial in Europe.

Who says advertising can't serve a purpose, especially when it helps promote such a talent?

Irma (screenshot from Google Chrome commercial)

Strictly speaking, of course, Irma's not French.

Born and brought up Cameroon, Irma Pany, moved to France in 2003 at the age of 15 to study at the private Catholic secondary school lycée Stanislas de Paris.

In 2007 she began posting homemade videos of both songs she had written and cover versions on YouTube and it didn't take long for the buzz to build.

So much so, that when the fan-funded music label My Major Company showed an interest in August 2008, it took just 48 hours for the site to gather the €75,000 necessary to finance the recording of her debut album.

What perhaps sets the Irma aside from other My Major Company finds such as Grégoire and Joyce Jonathan is the fact that she not only sings in English but has an appeal which has quickly attracted other established artists both French and international.

Tété ("Hey ya"), Matthieu Chédid, M ("Rolling in the deep") and will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas ("I want you back") have all joined Irma to make simple acoustic cover versions of songs on her YouTube channel.

Her first album, "Letter to the Lord", released in February 2011, was enthusiastically greeted by most critics who praised her for the maturity of her approach and the refreshingly smooth, simple and effective piano-guitar voice arrangement of what was obviously a multi-talented singer-songwriter.

Before the album's release she had apparently worked in New York with Lenny Kravitz's producer but on returning to Paris decided she wasn't happy with the result and reworked the self-penned songs to make them more folksy.

The result, as far as Radio France Internationale was concerned was an album "full of promise with sensual melodies and a glimpse into Irma's own intimate universe," but one which also "lacked that little extra something to set her aside from other Rhythm and Blues or Soul singers."

There's some truth in that because although Irma has a distinctive and exquisite voice, the one track that really stands out is "I know".

The rest are good - indeed very good for a debut album - but far from having quite the same "I want to know who's singing that right now " allure of "I know" when you first hear it on the radio.

Irma (screenshot from official clip)

Its success, and the fact that it has been used in the Google commercial has given the 23-year-old tremendous exposure and the pace looks set to pick up.

She'll be stepping out of the proverbial shadows of being a warm-up act for other artists or appearing at small venues with two concerts in Paris this year.

The first at La Cigale in Paris in June is already sold out but you can still get tickets for the date at Olympia in November.

In between she'll be appearing at several of the many summer music festivals in France such as Brive Plage or Albi's Pause Guitar.

And then there's the aim - as far as Universal Republic Records, the record label to which she has signed, is concerned: to conquer the States.

Not beyond the realms of possibility perhaps.

For now though here's that single which, in the words of the blurb, illustrates her "immediate charisma and authenticity" and is an example of her songs which are "little gems of melody, a subtle mix of soul and folk music found in texts that tell a story."

In other words - it's a ruddy good listen.

Here's both the one-minute Google Chrome commercial version and, if that has left you wanting more, the longer official single version.

Have a great weekend.

France's 2012 presidential election campaign begins - officially

Yes it might seem like a rather strange headline given that the French have been bombarded with politics for the best part of a couple of months (and more) now.

But campaigning in the two-round presidential elections has now officially begun with television advertising spots and posters on approved local authority notice boards up and down France.

Local authority notice boards - ready for posters (screenshot BFM TV)

And the rules are very strict - if somewhat antiquated.

As far as TV spots go, each of the ten candidates has a fixed amount of airtime - 43 minutes in total - rigorously enforced and controlled by the Conseil supérieur de l'audiovisuel (CSA), the country's broadcast watchdog.

The contents of what they can and can't talk about during their allotted 18 slots is also subject to the most "polite" and perhaps anachronistic rules with no banging the drum for donations allowed and an interdiction on "denigrating opponents".

Broadcasters have already had to provide equal airtime to all 10 candidates no matter how big or small since the wise men on the Conseil constitutionnel (Constitutional council) validated their eligibility to stand back on March 19.

Posters, which started appearing on most local authority notice boards on Tuesday, are also subject to the most stringent of rules.

They mustn't be printed on a white background because that's only reserved for official announcements, and woe betide candidates who try to use any combination of red, white and blue, the colours of the French tricolore. It's against the rules and if broken will result in a fine.

French presidential election 2012 posters - against the rules (screenshot BFM TV)

And those posters - two for each candidate - are only allowed to appear on the notice boards put in place the local authority specifically for the election - although that's not always a rule to which party supporters adhere.

The French can also expect to hear pamphlets and letters plopping through their letter boxes as the postal campaign to woo the 45 million registered voters is now also allowed, but again size and format have to be the same for each candidate.

And as "officially" as the campaigning starts, so it will end...at midnight on April 21, the day before the election, together with a ban on candidates making public statements and opinion polls being published.

Sexy "blow job" commercial - soft porn, fun or simply sexist?

Smutty probably isn't the right word to describe the latest advertising spot that went online just a week ago and is, according to the national daily Libération, under attack from some French feminists for being sexist.

(screenshot of 11footballclub commercial)

Soft porn would be nearer the mark as once again a company is creating a stir by using that age-old advertising tool to sell - sex.

It's for 11footballclub, a French online store specialising in football garb - mainly the sort you can wear - and which is planning to open its first retail outlet shortly in the western French city of Nantes.

Time then for a spot of publicity - anything will do, as long as it gets the company noticed and everyone talking about it.

And the commercial certainly does that.

It features a sexy (of course) red headed woman on her knees apparently - so the ambiguity of the camera angle would have you believe - about to give a man oral sex.

Of course that's what you're meant to think because as the camera pans out out you see that in fact she's helping a customer try on a pair of shoes.

There are the customary sexual groans and moans (because the shoes are too tight - naturally) , very little dialogue (after all who needs it in erotica) and mood-setting background music.

Highly creative - not.

It's meant to be amusing, as Benoît Defois, co-manager of the company told the free daily newspaper 20 minutes.

"The message of the ad isn't to denigrate women, but just to say we take care of our customers," he said.

"The next episode in the the series - which might run to four or five in total - could well see a man kneeling in front of a woman," he continued.

"We might release it just before the Euro 2012 (scheduled to take place in Poland and Ukraine from June 8 - July 1) to promote women's football."

Yes that would seem entirely logical.

The intended humour though isn't how one feminist group sees it.

For the Nantes-based "Collectif radical anti-sexisme et homophobie" (Crash) it's both sexist and offensive.

"We can't constantly laugh at sexism and machismo, when we know that a woman is raped every five hours in France," a member of the group told 20 minutes.

"If a black man were in the place of women, I don't think it would make many people laugh."

Judge for yourselves.

Renault's same-sex marriage commercial

Some might consider Renault's latest TV spot to be commercialising the issue of same-sex marriage, others would probably say it's another step in making it socially acceptable in France even if it's not legal - yet.

Maybe both are right, but in any case it seems that the French car manufacturer has come up with a clever idea to keep its Twingo campaign going in a way which is bound to appeal to a generally younger, hipper and more progressive-thinking consumer.

Combining humour, social mores (not to be too pretentious) and a sometimes predictable punch line, the Renault Twingo campaign, in its different forms, has been running for a couple of years.

There are three new spots currently airing on French television, including one featuring same-sex marriage.

A young woman and her father are making their way to the town hall. It's the big day obviously; the wedding.

They enter the room where the ceremony is scheduled to take place and see the groom waiting for them to make the traditional walk with the father accompanying the bride.

Except this is a Renault commercial and things are never quite as they seem.

As they reach the groom, the young woman smiles and says, "Congratulations papa," before kissing him and going to sit down while he steps up to marry his man.

Ah.

Yes all very light-hearted, politically correct (heavens that'll offend some) and in keeping with a campaign that is up-to-date in its thinking or even ahead of its time: the "drag queen", the "strawberry condom" and the "sexy poster" (click on the titles to see them and here for a brief explanation in English) have all been used in recent years.

The latest is again just 30 seconds long or short, but - forgive the pun - spot on, especially if you support same sex marriage, which still isn't recognised in France.

There again as Renault says in its oh-too-clever strap line "Times change. The Twingo too."

Renault's hip and progressive TV spots

Over the years Renault's Twingo advertising campaign has included several very clever television spots that have, in a simple way, challenged viewers' expectations of what is going to or is supposed to happen.

There was the "drag queen" spot in which a 20-something pulls up in his friend-filled Twingo in front of a trendy nightclub.



There's a queue waiting at the door, including several drag queens.

(Meaningful) looks are exchanged between one of them and the young man until the latter shouts over,"Papa can you help us get in?"

Then there was the "strawberry condom" commercial featuring two women in a car; a grandmother and her granddaughter.



As the older woman parks, the younger woman's 'phone starts ringing and in her attempts to scrabble around in her bag to find it, she upsets some of the contents of the bag on to the floor.

Among the items that fall out is a conbdom which the grandmother picks up to inspect.

"Sophie," she says questioningly.

"You like strawberries now?" and laughing she tucks it into the pocket of her blouse.

And there was a commercial which saw a mother and daughter driving and as they stop at a traffic light the mother spots a poster featuring her scantily-clothed daughter.



"What," she exclaims.

"You've found a job and you didn't tell me.

Don't you just love the commercials for the Renault Twingo?

Contrex mineral water - stripper commercial

Sometimes a commercial just makes you sit up and pay attention, brings a smile to your face and stops you from popping off to do something else when the advertising break kicks in.

And occasionally it might just be a good deal more entertaining than the actual programme you were watching in the first place.



Such is surely the case of one spot currently running on French TV for the Contrex brand of mineral water.


It's a perfect fit between product and message with humour, entertainment and a great soundtrack - the music from "Comment te dire adieu", a song made famous in the 1960s by French singer Françoise Hardy.

It features women (and some men) "discovering" the joys of sport with them pedalling exercise bikes frantically and in the process lighting up a giant neon light male stripper.

The more they pedal the more he reveals until finally he's in the all together with just a board to cover his unmentionables, a board congratulating everyone for just having used 2,000 calories.

Some commercials are just inspired!

French pigs grunt and fart but are also great to eat

Well that's the message pig farmers in northwestern France are trying to get across about the animals they raise to make a living.

screenshot from Les éleveurs de porcs bretons website

Vegetarians move along, this won't appeal.

"Il grogne, il pète, et pourtant grâce à lui vous mangez sain, sûr, bon et breton !" is the slogan the association Les éleveurs de porcs bretons (Brittany pig farmers) has come up with to help update their image.

Or put another way, "It grunts, it farts, but thanks to it you eat healthily, safely, well and what's more it's from Brittany...yes it loses a little something in translation.

It features in an advertising campaign the association will be launching on June 13 with posters being put up in over 400 villages and towns throughout the region and it's an attempt to improve the image of the pig-farming sector among Bretons and at the same time encourage them to eat something so important to the economy of the region.

Appearing on the poster is "David" - a thirty-something, cleancut, boy-next-door type farmer - and alongside him, what TF1 news calls, "A cute piglet reminiscent of the star of the film 'Babe'."

It might be a more than quirky way of trying to counter the image the public has of pig farming, but as the association's press release says that's exactly its intention.

"There's a certain mistrust of pig farmers and that's exactly the kind of public perception we want to change by being deliberately provocative and offbeat," says the release.

"We also want to encourage Bretons to eat a meat that's farmed locally and remind them just how good it is."

And there's also a testimonial from that farmer "David" featured in the campaign.

He is in fact David Riou, a pig farmer from Finistère in the far west of Brittany.

He wants pig farming to break away from the polluting and unhealthy image it has had, but he's aware the sector faces an uphill battle to change peoples' opinions.

"Of course our farms have an impact on the envirnoment and over the years all those headlines about the spreading of manure, nitrates in the water the crisis of green algae have left their mark," he says.

"We've been working for the past 15 years to make sure our environmental impact is lower, but it takes time," he continues.

"For example over the past decade we've lowered by 20 per cent the level of nitrates in our local river, and we mustn't forget that the industry employs around 31,000 people locally."

Pass the apple sauce.

Citroën DS4 and the ad campaign's similarities to the DSK affair

It's a tricky one surely.

What do you do when just as you're about to launch a new product after time, money and thought have been spent in preparing an attention-grabbing advertising campaign, along comes an event with the potential to scupper everything?

You go ahead regardless, hoping that it'll not have an adverse effect on image and sales.

Citroën DS4 (screenshot from television spot)

The product is a new model from the French car manufacturer Citroën.

THAT event was the arrest of the former head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn - or DSK as he's more commonly known in France - on charges of sexual assault.

Citroën launched the advertising campaign for its DS4 just a couple of weeks after DSK's arrest.

And it wasn't just the similarity in pronunciation (in French) of the car's name and the sobriquet of the former frontrunner for the Socialist party's primary for next year's French presidential race - DS4 DSK - that raised a few eyebrows.

The television commercial spot - complete with the slogan "Le pouvoir de dire non" ("The power to say no") had, what the weekly news magazine L'Express said were "echoes of the scandal which had made national and international headlines over the weeks preceding the official launch."

(screenshot from television spot)

From the start of the spot with that perhaps unfortunate and ill-timed tag line, the unintended allusions to the affair that everyone in France has been talking about come thick and fast.

"What do you want? Love, money, power?" runs one line of the voiceover.

"How many times have you said yes?" asks another.

"During your life you say 'Yes' all the time, but have you ever tried to say 'No'?"

The idea is of course - and one that's spelled out towards the end - is to convey that the DS4 is somehow "nonconformist" and doesn't "resemble any other vehicle".

But somehow while you're watching your mind is on something else entirely.

Citroën and its advertising agency H decided against pulling the commercial and even if, as the cultural (focussing on Rock music) weekly Les Inrockuptibles suggests, Internauts become tired of reading so much about DSK - the politician that is - at least nobody can blame Citroën for "not being talked about".

And if sales aren't that good?

Well at least Citroën can take comfort that in January the DS4 was named "The most beautiful car of the year 2010" (even though it was only launched in May 2011 - go figure) by the Festival automobile international.

Do the French really need a 96-hour antiperspirant? Does anyone?

Apparently 96hour antiperspirant is better than soap and water - or at least a damn good alternative.

Invincible (screenshot from French commercial)

The weather has been unseasonably warm and worryingly dry throughout many parts of Europe over the past couple of months.

Already in France, 26 of the country's 95 mainland départements have water restrictions in place and the prognostication - what a lovely word - by weather forecasters is that the situation is unlikely to improve any time soon.

All of which is perhaps an explanation, albeit admittedly somewhat tenuous, for the decision by one the world's largest cosmetics and beauty companies to hit television screens with commercials for a product that promises 96 hour protection!

Yes unbelievably L'Oréal would appear to think that it's perfectly acceptable not to wash for four whole days and instead to rely on the wonders of its "Invincible" deodorant from the MenExpert range.

Indeed so proud does the Paris-based giant seem to be that it has not only lined up a couple of hunks to promote the product's properties, it has also released a video showing the "making of" the commercial.

Eric Cantona (screenshot from French commercial for Invincible)

In France former French international footballer Eric Cantona adds his virility to Invincible's obvious appeal for those whose jobs might require them to avoid soap and water for the best part of a week.

And elsewhere it's US actor and heartthrob Patrick Dempsey who's charged with extolling the virtues of 96-hour protection.





Clearly both men were paid enough to try to convince others that personal hygiene for men comes in the shape of a roll-on or spray deodorant effective under the most extreme conditions and for what just has to be an entirely inappropriate length of time.

What would their better halves (Rachida Brakni and Jillian Fink respectively) say of the two men if they regularly chose not to wash?

And how would partners of men being encouraged to use Invincible really react if they discovered they were sharing their lives with someone who preferred a quick underarm roll-on or spray to the more traditional cleansing properties of water?



Once again the question surely has to be asked - just as it was here a couple of weeks ago when looking at the pleasures offered by 72-hour protection - "What in heaven's name is going through the minds of manufacturers when they come up with the idea that anybody requires such a product in everyday life?"

Surely we're worth all worth better than that L'Oréal.

Coming soon - 120-hour protection?

Beurk - as the French might say.

Do the French really need 72-hour antiperspirant protection? Does anyone?

There's a myth - still doing the rounds apparently - that the French don't like washing and instead prefer to douse themselves with perfume.

Take a look at this dumb question posted on a health forum and answered last year.

In 2005 the BBC's Denise Winterman looked at some of the reasons the British in particular might still hold (ignorant) stereotypical notions of French toiletry habits.

It was one element in an article exploring how some British viewed "their cross-channel neighbours with suspicion and antipathy."

That the French have an aversion to soap and water or - at least are not as clean as other nationalities - is of course more than just fallacy. It's discourteous, xenophobic and has no place in the minds of any sane thinking person.

So why then do the manufacturers of antiperspirants choose to market a product to the French that promises "48 hour protection"?

And there's worse still in terms of their judgement on the perceived personal hygiene needs of the French because some also offer 72-hours-worth of "security".

Who the heck needs 72-hour protection?

That's three whole days of accumulated perspiration for men or glow for women - bearing in mind that only horses "sweat".

What in heaven's name is going through the minds of manufacturers when they come up with the idea that anybody requires such a product in everyday life?

This apparent desire not to wash and instead use a deodorant is admittedly not just a French phenomenon - at least not if the commercials are to believed

Scoot around YouTube and you'll pull up any number of ads from countries around the world all presenting the virtues of 48 and 72-hour protection.



Here are just a few - some tasteful - others less so.







What next? 96 hours perhaps.

It gives new meaning to the reaction "Hum"

Red Bull cartoon commercial is too sexy for French TV

Well who would have thought it?

The French being "prudish" about nudity and sex on TV - at least when it comes to commercials.

The latest offering from the makers of the energy drink Red Bull is not being allowed to air on French telly even though there has been self-censorship to cover the appendages that might cause offence to those of a sensitive disposition.

The commercial, with the theme "Plage Nudiste" (or nudist beach) features two cartoon characters in the altogether.

Plage nudiste, (screenshot from Red Bull commercial)

A young man politely asks a woman lounging in a deck chair if he may spread his towel next to her, and she gives him the go-ahead, lowering her sunglasses to get a better look.

As she offers him a Red Bull, which she says, "stimulates the spirit and the body," the man becomes...well sexually excited...before rushing off embarrassed.

And she's left laughing, remarking that "unfortunately Red Bull also gives you wings", the slogan used in all publicity for the energy drink.

Harmless stuff you might have thought especially in a country where real-life floppy bits and dangly pieces haven't exactly been hidden from viewers - young and old - during the past 10 years of tasteful reality TV.

While the television watchdog Conseil Supérieur de l'Audiovisuel, CSA might find the commercial unsuitable for the small screen, comments to the site of radio host Jean-Marc Morandini seem, by and large, to find it "amusing'" and "far from shocking".

What do you think?



Red Bull only became available in France three years ago.

The country slapped a ban on the sale of the drink back in 1996 because of concerns about the one of its key ingredients, taurine, which it feared could cause a health risk.

It wasn't until 2008 after pressure from the European Commission that France lifted the ban and allowed Red Bull to appear in shops for the first time - in its original recipe.

Plage Nudiste won't be aired on television but it will reportedly be shown in cinemas from February 9.

Go figure!

Rachida Brakni's banking dilemma

Do you think the French actress Rachida Brakni had any problems with the recent remarks made by her husband Eric Cantona?

Rachida Brakni (screenshot from LCL commercial)

You remember surely.

Cantona is the former French international footballer who called on people to withdraw all their money from their bank accounts.

The suggestion from the newly-discovered "political philosopher" (as one BBC report dubbed him) came during an informal interview with journalists in October.

His idea was that rather than taking to the streets to demonstrate, people could go to the local branch of their bank and withdraw all their money, "Causing the banking system to crumble".

A peaceful protest of sorts to send a message to the whole banking system and financial services which, as far as Cantona was concerned, were at the root of much of the current misery in the world; homelessness, poverty, injustice.



It was a message that quickly found its way on to the Net with a campaign beginning, a date fixed for the "revolution" and financial experts and politicians wading in to urge caution.

The day of protest (December 7) came and went.

The world survived.

But wait.

What about that initial question as to whether Brakni had a problem with her husband's remarks.

After all she must know the guy pretty well. They've been married for the past three years and the couple have a one-year-old son, Emir.

The question has to be asked though because...well what was that commercial the 33-year-old actress appeared in for a couple of weeks back in April this year?

Oh yes. That's right.

It was for one of France's biggest banks LCL (Le Crédit Lyonnais) encouraging people to apply for mortgages - of all things.

Rachida Brakni dazns une publicité LCL Vidéo jeanmarcmorandini sélectionnée dans Pub

Ho hum.

Dinner time in the Cantona-Brakni household must have made for interesting conversation.

Pinup girls promote French cheese

Looking for an unusual Christmas present? Well the Association fromage de terroir might just have the answer.

It's a non-profit organisation set up in 2001 to support France's cheese makers and retailers and help them "educate the public and the industry in general".

And for the sixth year in a row it has produced a calendar giving cheese rather a different angle.

It is, as the Association describes on its website, both "cheeky and sexy" (there's no denying that) with the 12 pinup girls striking poses which apparently follow the course of French history throughout the centuries from the Middle Ages to the present day.

The intention, according to the Association is to "celebrate not only the role of women in the tradition of cheese-making but also to emphasise the importance of France's gastronomic heritage in which cheese has played an important part."

Of course in France wine and food are an integral to the country's history and culture and that was undoubtedly very much in the minds of Unesco experts last week when they decided to recognise French gastronomy as a world treasure.

And cheese is undeniably an essential part of that gastronomic heritage.

France is well known for the diversity and number of cheeses, and there are plenty of quotes to back up that up including most famously former president Charles de Gaulle's 1962 quote, "How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?"

Proceeds from the sales of the 2011 calendar will help the Association (in its own words) "to continue the fight to maintain biodiversity, which guarantees the beauty of our land and the quality of our cheeses."

It puts forward a whole argument about independence, freedom of speech and the threat to France's small producers of high quality cheeses from multinationals flooding the domestic market with cheaper alternatives (you can read all about it on the website).

Screenshot from YouTube, "Making of the 2010 calendar"

But is the Association's claim that its calendar "promotes the art of the French life style" really anything more than jumping on the "sex sells" bandwaggon as a way of the ends justifying the means?

After all the link between Géraldine Gruyère, Estelle Livarot, Adeline Camembert and the nine other lasses is pretty flimsy (apart from the creative surnames) if not downright non-existent to say the least.

Still it isn't the first time, and certainly won't be the last, that an image of a pretty woman is used that has little or nothing to do with the product or service that is being promoted.

The calendar can be purchased from the modest price of €18.75 from the Association's website.

Raymond Domenech's monthly €5,600 unemployment benefit cheque

Time for another chapter in the financial life of the former coach of the national football team, Raymond Domenech.

And it comes from the regional daily newspaper, Sud Ouest, which says it has got its hands on documents outlining how much unemployment benefit he'll be getting every month.

Raymond Domenech (snapshot from commercial)

Domenech was fired by the Fédération Française de Football (French Football Federation, FFF) from his job in September for "gross misconduct" and a month later was spotted in Paris filing his application for unemployment benefit.

According to Sud Ouest, Domenech has already received the rather modest €1,736...and 32 centimes for his first nine days jobless.

But he'll actually be entitled to much more on a monthly basis once unemployment benefit kicks in properly - between €5,600 and €5,900.

That's the full amount to which he's eligible apparently, based on the contributions he made while employed and his previous salary.

And the 58-year-old could spend the next three years happily collecting his entitlement while he looks for another "senior technical sporting position".

There again, he's also waiting for the outcome of a €2.9 million compensation claim from the FFF, which his lawyer filed with an industrial tribunal last week.

And if your head is still spinning with figures, then there's more as even though he's officially unemployed and looking for work, Domenech has obviously been busy.

It can surely be no coincidence that the day on which the amount of unemployment benefit he receives is revealed by a paper is the very same day a publicity campaign featuring Domenech is released.

It's for the online poker site, Bwin - Domenech is an amateur fan of the game.

Raymond Domenech (snapshot from commercial)

Mind you how much or whether he was paid for in the commercial is being kept under wraps.

When questioned, the president of Bwin France, Carlo Constanzia, wouldn't go into details saying simply, "He (Domenech) will be invited to one of our tournaments next year."