Let's play odds and evens - the French government's answer to dealing with high pollution levels in Paris

There's nothing like dealing with a problem when it occurs.

Just ask the French environment minister Philippe Martin.

Philippe Martin (screenshot TF1 news)

Parts of France have been hit by high pollution levels over the past four or five days because of (to put it very simply) the mix of "cold nights and warm days, which have prevented pollution from dispersing".

And what has the environment minister done to deal with the situation?

Well he has waited and watched, announcing that he was "working on sustainable measures to fight against pollution," (yadda, yadda, yadda) and that there would be "an announcement by the summer of a plan to protect the atmosphere of the areas most affected.'

Par for the course really from the man who took over the ministry after his predecessor Delphine Batho was sacked in July 2013, and has faced bad weather conditions with remarkably enterprising resolve coupled with the usual political platitudes

When heavy rain, thunderstorms and hail battered towns in Brittany for weeks on end, Martin was quick to give his expert opinion that "the flooding could be related to climactic disturbances."

Really? Now there's a novel concept.

And during the flooding in Var at the beginning of February, he took to a helicopter to "understand the reasons behind what had happened". How very reassuring.

In fact helicopters and having a look seemed to feature largely in Martin's method of helping out flood victims.

Anyway, back to the high pollution levels. Finally the government has taken a decision.

It announced on Saturday that Paris and its suburbs would be subjected to "alternate driving days" as of Monday because of the continued "high pollution levels" that were expected.

Jean-Marc Ayrault's office even issued a statement saying, "The prime minister is aware of the difficulties that this may cause to the everyday lives of Parisians, but this extra step is necessary."

And get this, Ayrault "trusted in the spirit of responsibility and citizenship of each and every person."

Hello! We're talking Parisians here, deservedly or not, hardly world-renowned for their civility.

The statement wasn't enough though. Martin had a sales job to do and up he popped on TF1 prime time news to give the reasons for decision and brandishing, in  "show and tell" fashion, two licence plates - both old and new - to explain the difference between an odd number and an even one.

Philippe Martin in "show and tell" mode (screenshot TF1 news)

"Public health is what most concerns us here and in spite of the measures taken since the beginning of the week (measures introduced by the local authority in Paris such as free public transport) there's a risk of another rise in pollution levels at the beginning of the week," he said.

"We had to take this decision and we're relying, of course on the responsibility of Parisians which will allow us to cope with the situation," he added, proving he had a) been briefed and b) read the prime minister's official statement before going on air.

 

Incomplete faction - Paris mayor announces new Marchelib' shoe sharing scheme

Do you live in or around Paris? Or are you thinking of a trip to the French capital?

Well here's some news for all those trying to make their way around the City of Light.

The mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoë, has plans to make it easier for you.

A bit wobbly on two wheels and still unsure as to whether you can defend yourself in the precarious bicycle lanes that have been squeezed out of the existing roads?

Fed up of going bumper-to-bumper and getting nowhere slowly on the Boulevard Périphérique, the ring road separating Paris from its suburbs?

Not keen on suffering unwanted, almost sexual, encounters while sardined into the Métro?

Delanoë,  has the answer.

First he gave us Vélib', the bicycle sharing system launched in the summer of 2007.

Then Delanoë introduced the electric car sharing Autolib' programme guaranteed to annoy any driver stuck behind one of those flippin' dinky toys and render even the most mild-mannered motorist (not easy in Paris) barmy.

And now he's planning to go one step further with the world's first ever shoe sharing scheme - Marchelib'.

The idea is a simple one: using the same pick up and drop off stations already available for Velib', Parisians, out-of-towners, visitors - in fact just about everyone - will be able to grab a pair of walking shoes or boots and strut their stuff happily through the City of Light.

The announcement came on Monday as part of a package of measures aimed at trying to reduce pollution levels in Paris - still too high at certain times of the year and which contravene EU regulations - and simultaneously piss off the maximum number of motorists.

Among the proposals are a reduction of the speed limit on the ever-flowing (as if) Boulevard Périphérique from 80km/h to 70km/h (as if), a ban all cars older than 17 years from the city centre (and drivers with less than 17 years of experience), the introduction of a péage, or toll, on the motorways immediately surrounding the capital to limit the number of trucks and the launch of Marchelib'.

"These propositions represent a new step in our battle against pollution," Delanoë said on RTL radio.

"Parisians have changed their habits in the past decade because we've dared (to introduce progressive policies) but pollution still remains a scourge," he continued.

Delanoë added that Marchelib' would not only help cut drastically the levels of pollution, it would also make Parisians fitter, healthier and give a boost to the economy by insisting that the shoes supplied would only be "Made in France".

The mayor, a prominent member of the Socialist party, said he would be talking to the government minister in charge of industrial renewal, Arnaud Montebourg, to help draw up a list of French cobblers who could meet the new schemes requirements.

Time to strut your stuff.

Take it away Nancy!

French town seeks elephant ban from beach

Yes you read correctly. The mayor of a French town wants to slap a ban on elephants tramping along its beach.

On the northwestern coast of France in the department of Manche there's a small town called Granville - population around 13,000.

It dates back to the 12th century and is of course steeped in history, much of it military and religious, plus it has plenty of sites worth more than a cursory visit.

There's also a harbour and a beach, which all-in-all makes it a pretty good holiday destination for many especially as the country is in the midst of a heatwave.

The ideal place to combine culture with a suntan and grab some relief from temperatures in the mid-30s.

A visiting circus is about to throw open its doors, which of course under normal circumstances wouldn't hit the national headlines.

That is if it were not for the mayor of the town attempting to take a decision that quite frankly meets most of the criteria necessary for filling column inches and making the airwaves during what is traditionally the season for silly news.

You see Daniel Caruhel wants to ban elephants from walking on the town's Hérel beach.

Perhaps not a common problem in this particular part of the world but one which, when the circus is in town, presents a potential health hazard as far as the mayor is concerned.

And it's nothing to do with the size of the beasts - well no directly at least. More the dimensions of what they leave behind.

Caruhel doesn't seem to have anything against the pachyderms per se, it's just that past experience has apparently forced him to take steps.

"There's no doubt that it's pleasant having elephants around but their presence is a disaster for the quality of the bathing water," he says.

"Last year two circuses came to town and set up shop opposite the beach and their (the elephants') deposits led us to having to close the beach twice."

Ahem.

There is a serious side to the story of course, as Granville is situated in a part of the channel separating France from Britain, which has regularly been affected by pollution and especially illegal fuel discharges into the sea.

But as yet elephants haven't really featured high on the list of polluters and as Stéphane Gistau, one of the directors of the Amar circus points out, the town is unlikely to be knee deep in elephant dung during its two-day stay.

"The sea has suffered from the effects of pollution for years, and now the authorities want to ban our animals from the beach just for leaving behind a few droppings," he says.

"It's a shame as it gives people the chance to see the animals up close for nothing, but now they'll have to pay the two euros to come and visit them at the circus."