Christine Boutin's political literary flop. Or how not to write a best seller...or a seller

The late Christopher Hitchens once said (among many other things of course) that, "Everyone has a book inside them which is exactly where I think it should, in most cases, remain."

Sadly though, so many fail to heed that maxim and among those who seem to think the rest of us should benefit from their written words (of wisdom?) are French politicians.

A couple of years ago France Inter dedicated its weekly one-hour programme "Le Grand Bain" to the very question as to why so many French politicians felt the need to write and publish.

The conclusion being that while some had written something worthwhile reading and a certain talent in expressing themselves, the vast majority of them were best served leaving literature, in all its forms, to others and concentrating on what they supposedly did best.

Of course an inflated ego (which politicians must have believing, presumably, that they know best how to serve their fellow citizens in office and determine what's in the interests of the country) must play a part.

But the bottom line of (most) publishing (houses) is surely also to make money - which opens up perhaps the equally perplexing question as to how come so many French politicians manage to find an editor... because so many "œuvres" (inverted commas entirely intentional) are far from being profitable.

Quite the contrary.

Take, for example, the most recent offering from Christine Boutin, "Qu'est-ce que le parti chrétien-démocrate ?".

You remember her, surely.

Boutin served as housing minister for a couple of years during Nicolas Sarkozy's presidency before being unceremoniously sacked.

She was also at the forefront of the demonstrations against same-sex marriage in 2013, continuing her long campaign for Christian values (aka "family values" in her parlance) and boring most of us silly with her frequently ignorant and equally ill-judged remarks.

In 2014, for example,  Boutin shared her views on homosexuality with the quarterly political magazine "Charles" describing it as "an abomination".

Ah well. You can read all about that here - old news - but it'll stick around to haunt her (or more likely the rest of us) for quite a while.

Back to that book "Qu'est-ce que le parti chrétien-démocrate ?" ("What is the Christian Democrat party") her 128-page 2010 follow-up to her 2009 book "Chrétiens : de l'audace pour la politique".

Guess how many copies, according to GQ magazine, Boutin has managed to sell.

Christine Boutin's "Qu'est-ce que le Parti chrétien-démocrate ?" (screenshot Amazon.fr)

Pause for thought.

Here goes.

38.

THIRTY-EIGHT?

It pretty much tells the whole story, don't you think.

Of course Boutin isn't alone among politicians who fail to attract readers.

The current finance minister, Michel Sapin sold 346 copies in three weeks of his diary as employment minister  "L'écume et l'océan , Chronique d'un ministre du travail" (clearly few were interested).

The president of the national assembly, Claude Bartolone, fared no better with his "Je ne me tairai plus" ("I'm not going to remain silent any longer") which was bought by only 268 people in two weeks.

And the former environment minister Delphine Batho only managed to shift 715 copies of her book "L'Insoumise".

At the other end of the scale - and perhaps providing a lesson (if not literary, at least a commercial one) was that political potboiler from France's former first lady Valérie Trierweiler.

Her "Merci pour ce moment" has so far sold more than 600,000 (and counting) copies, proving that...well, a tell-all political tale about her relationship with the French president, François Hollande, really might have been a "triumph of self-obsessed raving" but it certainly earned her a bob or two.

Let's play odds and evens - the French government's answer to dealing with high pollution levels in Paris

There's nothing like dealing with a problem when it occurs.

Just ask the French environment minister Philippe Martin.

Philippe Martin (screenshot TF1 news)

Parts of France have been hit by high pollution levels over the past four or five days because of (to put it very simply) the mix of "cold nights and warm days, which have prevented pollution from dispersing".

And what has the environment minister done to deal with the situation?

Well he has waited and watched, announcing that he was "working on sustainable measures to fight against pollution," (yadda, yadda, yadda) and that there would be "an announcement by the summer of a plan to protect the atmosphere of the areas most affected.'

Par for the course really from the man who took over the ministry after his predecessor Delphine Batho was sacked in July 2013, and has faced bad weather conditions with remarkably enterprising resolve coupled with the usual political platitudes

When heavy rain, thunderstorms and hail battered towns in Brittany for weeks on end, Martin was quick to give his expert opinion that "the flooding could be related to climactic disturbances."

Really? Now there's a novel concept.

And during the flooding in Var at the beginning of February, he took to a helicopter to "understand the reasons behind what had happened". How very reassuring.

In fact helicopters and having a look seemed to feature largely in Martin's method of helping out flood victims.

Anyway, back to the high pollution levels. Finally the government has taken a decision.

It announced on Saturday that Paris and its suburbs would be subjected to "alternate driving days" as of Monday because of the continued "high pollution levels" that were expected.

Jean-Marc Ayrault's office even issued a statement saying, "The prime minister is aware of the difficulties that this may cause to the everyday lives of Parisians, but this extra step is necessary."

And get this, Ayrault "trusted in the spirit of responsibility and citizenship of each and every person."

Hello! We're talking Parisians here, deservedly or not, hardly world-renowned for their civility.

The statement wasn't enough though. Martin had a sales job to do and up he popped on TF1 prime time news to give the reasons for decision and brandishing, in  "show and tell" fashion, two licence plates - both old and new - to explain the difference between an odd number and an even one.

Philippe Martin in "show and tell" mode (screenshot TF1 news)

"Public health is what most concerns us here and in spite of the measures taken since the beginning of the week (measures introduced by the local authority in Paris such as free public transport) there's a risk of another rise in pollution levels at the beginning of the week," he said.

"We had to take this decision and we're relying, of course on the responsibility of Parisians which will allow us to cope with the situation," he added, proving he had a) been briefed and b) read the prime minister's official statement before going on air.

 

Bye bye Delphine Batho and the end of government gender parity

Well wasn't that a brave decision by the French president François Hollande and his prime minister, Jean-Marc Ayrault?

Sacking the ecology and energy minister Delphine Batho, because she dared to criticise departmental cuts in next year's budget - seven per cent in a sector to which the governnment is supposedly politically committed.

Delphine Batho (screenshot from RTL interview)

Bravo M le President and M. le Prime Minister.

You've proven yourselves to be well in control of the situation

Just as you were when former budget minister Jérôme Cahuzac lied to you, parliament and the media about his financial holdings abroad and tax fraud allegations.

How long did it take you get rid of of him?

Weeks.

You were the masters of inaction.

Just as you were when the ever-effective and "maverick" minister for industrial renewal Arnaud Montebourg was quoted as having criticised Ayrault and accusing him of running the government as though it were a municipal council with that infamous, "Tu fais chier la terre entière avec ton aéroport de Notre-Dame-des-Landes, tu gères la France comme le conseil municipal de Nantes."

What happened?

Ayrault confirmed what had been said and then did...diddly squat.

Your interior minister Manuel Valls - not exactly reticent about his ambitions to replace Ayrault at some point - decided it was time to say what he thought, namely that if he had been prime minister he would have sacked Montebourg.

What was your reaction?

Silence.

And when housing minister (and leading Green party member) Cécile Duflot criticised Valls' treatment of the Roma, how did you react?

By doing nothing, apart from letting Ayrault call a meeting to smooth over differences.

Ah yes, but Montebourg and Valls both have some standing in the party don't they.?

And they were, M Hollande, your opponents in the first round of primaries to choose the Socialist party candidate in the 2012 presidential elections which you finally won.

Both men and Duflot are heavyweight "untouchables". You need them apparently.

Not so Batho, plucked from almost nowhere and with very few allies - not even her former mentor Ségolène Royal who had openly criticised her in recent weeks.

An easy target and one providing you with the opportunity to flex your presidential and prime ministerial muscles to show just how in charge you both are...NOT.

Oh yes and just to reinforce how unwavering you are to your professed principles, who did you appoint to replace Batho?

Philippe Martin - a man, just in case you needed reminding. Thereby ensuring there was no longer gender parity within the government.

But of course, there aren't enough women around to fill the post are there?

Bravo

Such consistent and firm leadership.


Delphine Batho : "Le budget 2014 est mauvais" par rtl-fr

Jean-Pierre who?

Veteran journalist Jean-Pierre Elkabbach is pretty well known to the French.

He has been around for seemingly donkey's years and has held several high profile posts in the French media including president of France Télévisions (December 1993 - June 1996), president of the parliamentary TV channel Public Sénat (December 1999 - April 2009) and directeur général (April 2005) and later president (until June 2008) of Europe 1 radio.

At 75 years of age, Elkabbach is still going strong and shows no signs of losing his tenacity and combativity as a journalist.

He currently has two programmes on Europe 1.

Firstly there's the Sunday morning "Le Grand Rendez-vous" in which he heads a team of four journalists who grill (in the nicest possible manner of course because this, after all, is France) an invited guest (usually, but not always, a politician) on the most pressing matters of the day or the past week.

And then there's his daily 10-minute slot starting at around 8.20 am on the station's morning show when he gets to go head-to-head with a "mover and a shaker" - again most often a politician.

The list of his most recent guests reads like a who's who of the French political stage: Ségolène Royal (no introductions necessary), Laurence Parisot (the still-head, but not for much longer, of the French employers' union MEDEF), the president of the European Commission, José Manuel Barroso (all right so he's not exactly French) and the interior minister Manuel Valls are just a few of those who've faced Elkabbach so far this month.

On Tuesday it was the turn of Delphine Batho, France's (deep breath please) minister of ecology, sustainable development, and energy.

Jean-Pierre Elkabbach and Delphine Batho (screenshot Europe 1 radio)

Now Batho doesn't have a huge amount of experience of politics at a national level. Well she wouldn't really, as she's still only 40.

And although she has been an elected member of parliament since 2007 (taking over incidentally the seat previously held by Royal) her current job is her first big one in government.

That's unless you count the couple of weeks she spent as a junior minister in the justice ministry before the prime minister Jean-Marc Ayrault had a mini reshuffle shortly after June 2012 parliamentary elections.

Perhaps then, it was that lack of experience that had Batho flummoxed on Tuesday morning.

There again, maybe she had been out partying the previous working-non-working public holiday mess that is  lundi de Pentecôte.

Or it could just have been one of those moments that happens to all of us from time to time, because Batho didn't seem to be able to figure out who exactly was facing her in the studio.

As you can hear from the exchange in the accompanying video, she seemed convinced at times, that interviewing her was another Jean-Pierre - the Socialist party politician, Jean-Pierre Chevènement, a former minister under both François Mitterrand and Jacques Chirac and one year younger (as if it had anything to do with it) than his, on this occasion, apparently first-named mix-up, Elkabbach.

"Global warming is no longer speculation Jean-Pierre Chevènement, it's now a fact to be witnessed in several countries," said Batho.

"Who is Jean-Pierre Chevènement," asked Elkabbach, eliciting an immediate apology and correction from Batho.

Only for exactly the same thing to happen to her moments later.

Elkabbach gave as good as he got, deliberately borrowing names of ministers present (that of health, Marisol Touraine) and past (budget and higher education, Valérie Pécresse) to come up with two new "Delphines" during the course of the interview.

The pair seemed to enjoy the joshing around, but the initial confusion was most probably down to that irritating habit journalists and those being interviewed (in France) have of repeating the name of the person they're talking to several times throughout a conversation.

It's either a confrontational technique or one meant to play for time or avoid the pitfall of forgetting the other person's name (in which case, it doesn't always work), but how much easier and more entertaining it might be, if they just all called each other "darling" instead - well just for one day at least.


Delphine Batho confond Jean-Pierre Elkabbach et... par LeLab_E1