Tears, jeers and a touch of farce as France celebrates Olympic "success"

So they’re over - the Rio Olympics that is.

And French headline writers are celebrating the country’s “record haul” of 42 medals and seventh-placed finish overall.

Heck, even the French president, François Hollande, took time out to bask in the glory and congratulate France’s sportsmen and women saying they “were more than champions, they were role models”.

But while politicians can be forgiven for having selective memories and choosing only to use statistics that fit their own perception of the world, it surely only takes a few clicks of the mouse for even the most inexperienced of journalists to check the facts and figures.

Sure, the 10 Golds, 18 Silvers and 14 Bronzes the French team brought home was collectively more than London (35), Beijing (41) and Athens (33)  - the last three host cities - and the highest post World War II cluster (well ahead of the paltry five in Rome in 1960 or nine in Montreal in 1976) but still way behind the total when the Olympics was still about competing and not just winning.

Back in 1900, when Paris hosted the Games and a certain Pierre, Baron de Coubertin was president of the International Olympic Committee, France claimed…wait for it…101 medals in total (26 Gold, 14 Silver and 34 Bronze) finishing top of the table.

All right, so as everybody’s online friend, Wikipedia, points out, in 1900 Gold medals weren’t actually handed out (first place received Silver and second Bronze).

But apparently the IOC has since “retroactively assigned Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals to competitors who earned first, second and third-place finishes respectively to bring early Olympics in line with current awards”.

So there.

And bedsides, should the French really be feeling so smug about their overall performance?

While US swimmer Ryan Lochte (along with a few of his team mates) made a complete jackass of himself and embarrassed his fellow countrymen and women by “fabricating a story of being robbed at gunpoint”, some French competitors were also proving they could be equally farcical and unsportsmanlike..

After finishing fifth in the 100 metres backstroke final, French swimmer, Camille Lacourt,  decided he would take a pop at China’s 200 metres freestyle Gold medallist, Sun Yang.

Swimming is becoming as tainted as athletics, he told French radio “with two or three doped in each final.”

“Sun Yang, he pisses purple," said Lecourt, a reference to the Chinese swimmer having faced a three-month doping ban in 2014.



Lacourt later apologised saying he had been “frustrated” and “upset” with his own performance and his failure to secure a medal.

Apologies too from French pole vaulter (and world record holder) Renaud Lavillenie as he had not only to battle with home favourite Thiago Braz da Silva, but jeers and boos from fans in the stadium.

“I’ve never seen that before,” he told French television during the event. “Something like that has probably not happened since Jesse Owens appeared in Berlin in 1936.”

The clumsiest of remarks (to say the least) made in the heat of the moment, no doubt. And one Lavillenie regretted by Tweeting his apologies later.

But the crowd during the medal ceremony was equally unforgiving; once again booing Lavillenie and moving him to tears as he took Silver behind da Silva.

French pole vaulter Renaud Lavillenie in tears during medal ceremony (screenshot YouTube video)

No sign of an apology though from French tennis player Benoit Lepaire.

Quite the opposite really after he lost his second-round match and was then asked to “pack his bags” and effectively excluded from the French team at the Olympics by the French tennis federation's technical director Arnaud Di Pasquale.

The 27-year-old  Lepaire. had apparently decided his place was with his girlfriend (pop singer Shy’m) rather than fellow team mates at the Olympic village - as required by the French tennis federation.

Lacking both grace and humility, Lepaire retorted. "I have a different view of what is happening at the Olympics. I keep my opinions to myself. The federation, they are non-existent, so it is not very serious.”

Finally, throughout the Olympics, the French media simply couldn’t help itself.

While talking up this country’s performance, there was also the constant look to what was happening to “that lot” from across the Channel - Team GB.

Final medal table (screenshot France TV)

“How come the British were winning so many medals?” they asked innocently.

“How did a country with a population more or less the same size as France produce so many more medalists?”

“Lottery money, investment (time and professionalism), precise preparation for the Games, the exclusion of many Russians and the poor showing of the Chinese” were the sporting conclusions of a nation which, let’s face it, put in a pretty mediocre performance overall.

Gisèle Bündchen stars in Chanel N°5 latest commercial

After all the teasing and taunting the new commercial for Chanel N°5 has been released.

Starring Brazilian supermodel (such a cliché) and directed by Australian Baz Luhrmann, it is without doubt an advertising "masterpiece" (which means it captures your attention, if only for its extravagance), running to over three minutes at its longest version and featuring all the glamour and style you would expect.

Gisèle Bündchen (screenshot from Chanel N°5: "The One That I Want - The Film"

But does the self-proclaimed "world's most desirable fragrance" need to spend the spondoolicks on a campaign (and a launch party) for a product which already projects an image of unobtainable luxury.

Bündchen alone was reportedly paid $4 million for her role (admittedly less than the $7 million Brad Pitt apparently received for his yawn-along part in a previous commercial) - and that launch party in New York?

Gisèle Bündchen (screenshot from Chanel N°5: "The One That I Want - The Film

Well, as usual, Chanel is keeping mum about the figures. But the marketing people must know what they're doing - n'est ce pas?

Opinions are divided over the new commercial. "Wonderful" for some, "average" for others.

Perhaps the most captivating element as, in the words of the New York Times review, Bündchen "an overtaxed modern gal" struggles with the complexities of every day life (as if) such as "surfing in the Hamptons, sending her daughter off in the care of a nanny, getting in a quick photo shoot and reuniting with her man for a canoodle at a jazz club" is the background track.

It's an almost soporofic but at the same time hypnotic remake by US singer-songwriter Matthew Hemerlein - better known (apparently) under his stage name Lo-Fang - of the appropriately entitled (for the purposes of the commercial) "You're the won that I want" from the 1978 film version of the musical "Grease"

Conclusion - beautifully shot, definitely bewitching on first viewing (it holds your attention) but as triumphant as previous campaigns - the jury's out.

And whether, as Luhrmann insists, Bündchen "is the perfect modern No.5 woman" - well the answer is a resounding "no."

That accolade belongs - and this is going to appear entirely contradictory to many probably - to the woman, who when asked what she wore in bed, famously said "Chanel No. 5, of course".


Marilyn Monroe surely remains as modern today as she did back in April 1960 - a fact Chanel recognised in a 2012 retro (in fashion you just have to wait a bit for the "old" to become "new" again) campaign.

Marilyn Monroe (screenshot from "Marilyn and N°5 - Inside Chanel")

Marilyn Monroe (screenshot from "Marilyn and N°5 - Inside Chanel")

Anyway, here's Bündchen in Luhrmann's "mini-film" commercial.

You judge for yourselves.

A World Cup "dilemma" for François Hollande

All right, so "dilemma" might be a little bit of an exaggeration.

But hey. It's football (and politics). And hyperbole is pretty much par for the course in both domains.

All the same, how about "quandary"?

Yup, "François Hollande's World Cup quandary".

You see, the French president can't have helped but notice the  increasing popularity of Les Bleus during their first three games of the World Cup tournament in Brazil, especially after their convincing wins against Honduras and Switzerland (we'll forget that goalless draw with 10-man Ecuador).

The talk in the French media was about "team spirit" and "the players' pride in representing their country" with the folk back home tuning in by the millions to follow their exploits on telly.

Ah yes. Apparently the French had (and have) falllen in love with their football team once again: to such an extent that some people actually see them as being capable of winning the whole thing.

Meanwhile Hollande watches from the sidelines, or the Elysée palace - just as he did during a soirée he organised; the sumptuous setting and giant-sized screen more "gauche" than "bling bling" and rather spoilt by his constant (caught-on -camera) snacking throughout the game.

Still, "President Normal" and all that.

Anyway, that's all an aside (and a long-winded one at that).

The "quandary" for the French president is when and, indeed even, if he should make an appearance in Brazil, and how that might be interpreted.

Of course, Hollande doesn't have the same sort of PR savvy as the German chancellor Angela Merkel.

She's an "old hand", so to speak, at managing to show how "in touch" she is with what makes a footballing nation tick (during the World Cup) and could be seen in the stands during Germany's opening game, cheering on die Mannschaft as they made mincemeat of Portugal.

Angela Merkel at the World Cup (screenshot Newsloop video YouTube)

And to top it off, Merkel then had a photo op' in the dressing room with the players.

Smart lady - and smart move.

Hollande, in contrast, was last seen with the French squad in Clairefontaine as they prepared for their World Cup campaign.

There was plenty of humour, although it all looked a little awkward at times during the photoshoot with the players which left the president looking rather...er...portly and "buffoonly".

But that's perhaps being unfair as there's nothing wrong with not being quite the right shape. After all, how many of us really are?

Since then, nothing much. Well just that ostentatious "soirée". And no real sign that Hollande is about to fly to Brazil to support Les Bleus.

Yes, he has a packed agenda - most political leaders do. But he could have followed Merkel's example and "played safe" by putting in an appearance during the group stage.

After all, the tournament and the group match schedules were published months ago.

Instead Hollande now faces the risk of turning up during the knock out stage when his presence at the country's defeat (should it happen) could well be interpreted as a "jink".

Yes it's (more than) a stretch of the imagination, and there's no way that Hollande's attendance would contribute to the outcome, but that wouldn't stop the more unkindly drawing a link between the two.

Apparently the French president has pencilled in a "surprise (you have to wonder how much of one it will be) visit" should Les Bleus make it through to the quarterfinals after their next match against Nigeria.

The only problem (oh, life can be so cruel sometimes) is that if all goes true to form and planning, France's opponents in the quarterfinal match would be...Germany.

World Cup fever - let's get a grip

What is it with football?

Yes the World Cup - warts (Fifa) and all - is a major sporting event.

There's no doubting that.

But really, does it mean our elected leaders can afford to forget the really important things happening in the world to ride - albeit briefly - the crest of the feelgood wave they hope might somehow benefit them?

Russia reduces its gas supply to Ukraine "raising the possibility of disrupted transit of gas to Europe" and a difficult winter ahead if things aren't sorted.

And what are our illustrious leaders up to?

Well, the German chancellor Angela Merkel hot-footed it over to Brazil to watch "die Mannshaft" make clinical mincemeat of Portugal (with a little help from an imploding Pepe early into the game)

Back in France as the country limps through its economic muddle, now complete with the inevitable industrial ("non") action from SNCF employees and les intermittents du spectacle, how did the president François Hollande spend his time during Les Bleus' opening game?

He ostentatiously invited 200 people (and the cameras) to la salle des fêtes at the Elysée palace to gawp ("with collective passion") at a giant screen as France ran out victorious over mighty Honduras in their first match.

Giant screen at the Elysée palace (screenshot BFM TV)

Oh well. Winter is months away, so why should politicians care about gas supplies right now?

Perhaps the football commentators will help jog their memories by broaching the subject during Russia's first game against South Korea on Tuesday!

Nigeria kicked off its tournament on Monday with a thrilling 0-0 draw against Iran, and in the meantime the 200 or so missing schoolgirls abducted by Boko Haram in April are still being held hostage. They've been located apparently, but still haven't been freed.

Never mind. Who gives a damn anyway?

French TV news reports spend an inordinate amount of time analysing and speculating on the Les Bleus' chances, interviewing individual French players and managers - past and present - wheeling in the "experts" to give their opinions and asking the man and the woman in the street what they think.

And at the same time Sunni Islamist militants have taken control of Iraq's second city Mosul and are now approaching Baghdad.

The world watches - says little and does nothing as the focus of media attention seems to be elsewhere.

And that "elsewhere" of course is Brazil - the host country, profiting from the glory and the money it's not going to make and the prestige the whole tournament will bring as an answer to its social problems.

Just ask South Africa, the host of the 2010 tournament.

Don't get me wrong. I love the so-called beautiful game. But I also care about other things.

And a World Cup which is as much about business and displays of exaggerated patriotism (whatever that might be) as it is sport, surely simply deflects attention away from those other things that really matter.

Friday's French music break - David Serero, "On veut la coupe sur les Champs Élysées"

Nothing could be worse than the Eurovision Song Contest (and epsecially the French entries) when it comes to music, could it?

Think again - and not too hard. Because the answer to a somewhat loaded question (and what would under other circumstances surely be purely rhetorical) comes in the title of this week's Friday's French music break "On veut la coupe sur les Champs Élysées".

(screenshot from YouTube video)

It's the unofficial "anthem" of the French team for this year's World Cup and a timely choice as the whole shebang is set to kick off in São Paulo on June 12 with hosts Brazil taking on Croatia in the first match of the tournament.

To accompany Les Bleus in their attempts to forget the nightmare that was Knysna four years ago in South Africa, French opera and Broadway musical baritone (and all round showman according to his official bio) David Serero has teamed his tonsils with those of "un collectif d'artistes anonymes" to produce a song which is presumably meant to inspire the team's performance on the pitch and drum up enthusiasm among fans back home.

David Serero (screenshot "Autumn leaves - Les feuilles mortes" with Jermaine Jackson)

Quite frankly though, it could well have the opposite effect - prompting the players to run back to their dressing room in embarrassment (should they have the misfortune to hear it in the first place) and leaving supporters in no doubt that the Eurovision result (two points and last place, remember) was not a one-off when it comes to appreciating French music.

It's meant to be a "festive" offering with a sunny Caribbean-South American beat and flavour but the result is just a mess.

The 33-year-old Serero might well have a voice well-suited to opera and popular standards (the latter is a matter of opinion) but when set among the cacophony that is ""On veut la coupe sur les Champs Élysées" he just sounds...well ridiculous and slightly off-key to boot.

All right. If your ears are up to it, here's the song.

How many seconds will you be able to endure?

Let's just hope that Benzema, Giroud, Ribéry and co prove more effective on the pitch than Serero and others did in the studio.

Courage!

François Hollande's...er...Brazilian cheese coup

He came, he saw and he...well achieved very little.

The French president, François Hollande, completed a two-day trip to Brazil last week, during which he "touted" France's technology, and came away with what could hardly be called the coup of the century.

Hollande had hoped to return home with a multi-million euro signed contract for 36 Rafale fighter jets made by a consortium led by the French giant Dessault - after all it has been a painfully ongoing matter of negotiation for the past four years.

Instead he secured an agreement that, as of immediate effect, Brazil would lift its three-year ban on Roquefort cheese!

Yes talks with his Brazilian counterpart, Dilma Rousseff, saw Hollande achieve what has been described as "striking a blow" for the French cheese industry.




Somehow though "Cheese ban lifted" doesn't quite have the same ring to it as "Multi-million euro fighter jet contract signed".

Yes, yes, "Mighty oaks from little acorns grow" and all that.

But the news, while it'll undoubtedly please the ewes in Aveyron, is hardly one that'll provide a real boost to the French economy in general and kick start the long-promised recovery.

At least the news should please the ewes in Aveyron

All right already, so Hollande also sealed a pledge to "double trade" between France and Brazil.

But that's all rather wishful-washy targets (with the exception perhaps of the purchase of a French "supercomputer" and an undertaking from France to help fund a new metro in São Paulo) which, as the whole Rafale experience has shown, can in the end, come to nowt.

Back in 2009 under Hollande's predecessor Nicolas Sarkozy, it was announced that Brazil would buy 36 Rafale fighter jets.

Four years later the deal still hasn't been done with reports now circulating that the contract is dead in the water...er...that's doesn't quite sound right does it? - "will be shot down for cost reasons" - that's so much better.

Still, when the history of Hollande's presidency is written, he can at least be remembered as the French statesman who brought Roquefort cheese back to Brazil.

Baaaaa, hurrah.

French sports minister Valérie Fourneyron's latest sporting gaffe

The French sports minister, Valérie Fourneyron, has proven herself once again to be a true expert in her governmental portfolio.

Valérie Fourneyron (screenshot Public Sénat TV)

 Now you would think she might have learned her lesson from her Olympic gaffe last year.

Remember how Fourneyron appeared on (French) television during the games in London to outline the vast range of events from which there were to choose as she "entertained" this country's president, François Hollande, during his visit?

So "on the ball" (to use an inappropriate sporting chliché) was Fourneyron that she managed to muddle fencer Laura Flessel-Colovic's discipline...deciding she could best be seen on the tatami.

An easy mistake to make as Flessel-Colovic had previously only won five Olympic and 12 World Championship medals and, in London, was France's official flag bearer at the opening ceremony.

Well, the woman with a background in sports medicine, and therefore clearly with her finger on the proverbial pulse of her governmental portfolio, chose at the weekend "to boldly go" (let's split the infinitive in time-honoured Star Trek tradition) where no right-thinking minister should choose to go - Twitter.

Yes, Fourneyron plumped for social networking to congratulate France's only gold medallist at the IAAF World Championships in Moscow, triple jumper Teddy Tamgho.



The only problem was that emotions clearly got the better of the minister as she tweeted her excitement.



"Thierry Tamgho won the first gold medal at the Athletics World Championships," she tweeted.

"A breathtaking performance."

Teddy Tamgho, World Championship triple jump gold medallist, Moscow 2013 (screenshot France Télevisions)

Er "Non, mais allô quoi" to quote that great French ("celebrity") commentator of our times, Nabilla Benattia.

Thierry Tamgho?

Who's that then, Teddy's twin brother.

Teddy Tamgho, World Championship triple jump gold medallist, Moscow 2013 (screenshot France Télevisions)

Fourneyron realised her lapsus...er clavis...but not in time to prevent a flurry of Tweets poking fun at her mistake.

Now what gems could Fourneyron have in store for us next year should France qualify for the World Cup (soccer this time) in Brazil? That's if she's still in the post of course.

Friday's French music break - Vigon Bamy Jay, "Feelings"

Take a couple of old geezers who've both had long careers but not ones that have seen them hit the headlines perhaps as much as they deserved, mix together with a former member of a now defunct television talent show winning group and allow them to sing one of the most excruciatingly sentimental songs ever and welcome to Friday's French music break, "Feelings".

The trio currently wooing French airwaves with their rendition of the song are
Vigon Bamy Jay.

Vigon (right) Bamy (left) Jay (seated) - screenshot from official video

It's the first track to be released from their album "Les Soul men" and most definitely rates high on the barf value: not so much for their talent - which all three undeniably have - but more for the choice of a song which over the years has surely come to symbolise schmaltz.

Vigon (Abdelghafour Mouhsine) is a Moroccan rhythm and blues singer who came to the wider public's attention in 2012 during the first edition of The Voice.

The sprightly 67-year-old has a long musical pedigree as does another member of the trio  Gaudeloupe-born Érick Bamy -  another singer in his 60s.

Bamy, a former backing singer to Johnny Hallyday, had his "big break" in another television programme last year, the French version of the "Got talent" show imaginatively entitled "La France a un incroyable talent".
And it was yet another talent show which launched the career of the third member of the trio, Jay Kani.

He was a member of the R'n'B group Poetic Lover which won "Graines de star" back in 1997, had a string of hit singles and a best-selling album "Amants poétiques" a year later but eventually disbanded in 2000.

With voices that have an individual quality and a pedigree in R'n'B and soul, it's a shame the three have chosen to release yet another version of a song which became an international hit for Brazilian one-hit wonder Morris Albert back in 1975 and has been covered by just about anybody and everybody over the years.

And that includes a version by Israeli singer Mike Brant who brought the song "back to France" in a manner of speaking the same year Albert was having a hit with it everywhere else in English.

Brant released "Dis lui", which you'll notice is also the refrain used in the Vigon Bamy Jay recording.

At this point you might be asking how come "back to France"?

Well the person responsible for the melody in the first place was French songwriter Louis "Loulou" Gasté who, back in 1988, successfully sued Albert for copyright infringement of the his 1957 song "Pour toi" and was officially recognised as "the sole creator of the song".

Anyway, Vigon Bamy Jay are giving a private concert in Paris on March 13 and the album "Les Soul men" contains covers of much more worthwhile songs which should show off their individual and collective talents better including "Sitting on the dock of the bay", "Ain't no sunshine" and "Unchained melody".

It's just a pity they chose to release "Feelings" as the first single.

But judge for yourselves and maybe visit their official website for more information and updates.

Incomplete sporting faction: what next for Qatar Investment Authority - takeover of the French football federation?

Word has it on the sporting grapevine that the so-called Beautiful Game in France is about to receive a much-needed financial boost and an overhaul to the rules.

The Qatar Investment Authority (QIA) is believed to have put forward a proposal for a multi-million buyout of the entire board of the Fédération française de football (French football federation, FFF) - the sport's governing body in this country.

It's a move which some commentators say would not only be good for the business of the sport in France, it would also raise the profile of Ligue 1 to match that of some of the other top championships around Europe.

Among the propositions believed to be on the table are the injection of cash to Ligue 1 clubs in proportion to their current expenditure on the transfer market and exclusive QIA-sponsorship of referees and linesman.

QIA is of course the majority shareholder in Paris Saint-German, a club in which it bought a controlling interest last year.

Since then it has hired big names such as former Brazil international Leonardo as director of football and Italian Carlo Ancelotti as manager.

It has also invested heavily in recruiting players,  spending millions in the process - all in the name of sport of course and to build a side capable of winning domestic and, more importantly, European trophies.

The strategy didn't quite pay off last season though as PSG only managed to finish runners-up to the much more modest spending champions Montpellier.

Thiago Silva and Zlatan Ibrahimović (screenshot YouTube video)

But that hasn't stopped QIA from dipping even further into its coffers ahead of the new season which kicks off on August 10, stumping up a miserly €46 million to sign Brazil's international defender Thiago Silva from Italy's AC Milan.

Spare a thought for the 27-year-old when you next check your bank balance, because he'll have to struggle with annual after-tax earnings of just €9 million to €12.5 million (depending on which reports you read) for the next five years - should he last that long at the club.

PSG is also reportedly in talks with another AC Milan player, the Swedish international striker,  Zlatan Ibrahimović.

"Everyone is beginning to understand that PSG is becoming a major player in the game," manager Carlo Ancelotti commented on news of Silva's signing after his team had drawn 2-2 with CSKA Moscow in in a pre-season tournament in Austria at the weekend.

"That's the message," he said.

Clearly Ancelotti, PSG and most importantly QIA ain't kidding.

David Beckham for PSG?

It's a done deal as far as the national daily Aujourd'hui en France - Le Parisien and the sports daily L'Equipe are concerned.

David Beckham (from Wikipedia)

British footballer David Beckham is set to sign for one of France's top sides, Paris Saint-Germain.

The cost to lure the 36-year-old to the French capital? €800,000 a month according to Le Parisien which will, not surprisingly, make him the country's best-paid player.

Since it bought a controlling interest in PSG earlier this year, the Qatar Investment Authority has been pouring money into the club, appointing former Brazilian international Leonardo as director of football and recruiting players including Argentine Javier Pastore for a reported €39.8 million.

Yes the club has money - lots of it. And the owners seem determined to make it a European footballing powerhouse - in least in terms of spending.

Beckham of course would appear to be the perfect marketing match; he has global recognition and even though he might be "getting on a bit" in terms of the lifespan of a Beautiful Game player, the wisdom and technique to share with the rest of the team.

And there's no forgetting that he comes as part of a package in the form of the glamourous jet-set couple lifestyle he and his wife Victoria lead.

That should keep media interest just as high as it already has been over the past couple of months with reports that they have been consulting estate agents for a suitable pad and private schools for their children.

What price sport - when you can pay for it?

French diplomacy - "amateur, impulsive and lacking coherence "

Those were the words used to describe France's foreign policy and in particular its diplomacy, under its president Nicolas Sarkozy.

They came in an open letter published on Wednesday in the national daily, Le Monde from the Marly group, a collection of French diplomats, retired and serving, of all political persuasions, who were anonymously but collectively airing their concerns.

French foreign affairs and its diplomacy, certainly seem to have come in for a fair bit of scrutiny recently - and this week's events have perhaps only highlighted how much.

Take for example the first visit of a French government minister to Tunisia since that country's Jasmine revolution.

French foreign minister, Michèle Alliot-Marie

In fact there wasn't just one minister but two; Christine Lagarde, the finance minister, and Laurent Wauquiez, the minister for European affairs.

Notice anything odd...apart from the fact that France saw in necessary to send a minister responsible for Europe to a country in North Africa?

Yep, the absence of the foreign minister, Michèle Alliot-Marie (MAM) who had been dispatched to Brazil out of harm's way.

She, MAM, justified her visit to South America as being more "pragmatic".

"The visit was planned over a month ago and Brazil is a country with which we have a very important relationship," she is reported to have said in an informal conversation in the capital Brasilia.

Of course foreign ministers cannot change plans at the last minute to react to changing situations, and her absence in Tunisia had nothing whatsoever to do with the ongoing controversy there has been over her holidays there earlier this year.

So it was left to Lagarde and Wauquiez to build bridges with the finance minister telling journalists that she was confident the relationship between the two countries had not been harmed and Wauquiez mooting the idea of economic aid in the form of a "Marshall plan for Tunisia"

"We've come, not to lecture but to listen to their needs," he said, clearly aware of the fact that there are over 1,200 subsidiaries of French companies in Tunisia and there are interests to be protected.

Strangely silent and hovering in the background was the recently appointed ambassador, Boris Boillon.

He seemed almost, as some commentators back home in France observed, to be paying penance for the insulting remarks he had made to a journalist last week and which resulted in protests calling for his resignation and a subsequent very public apology on national television.

"Sarko boy" was on his best behaviour. Perhaps he had wind of an old can of worms that had been reopened in the form of an appearance he had made on the early evening news magazine Le Grand Journal on Canal + television last November.


Boillon défend Kadhafi (C+)
envoyé par LePostfr. - L'info video en direct.

During the interview Boillon had defended Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, saying he had been a terrorist but wasn't any longer.

"We all make mistakes in life," he said. "And we all have the right to another chance," he said after admitting that Gaddafi had referred to him as "his son".

Boris Boillon (screenshot from Le Grand Journal)

Yes old news - well not so old - but certainly words that seem misplaced with hindsight.

To top it all off was the publication on Wednesday in Le Monde of that open letter from the Marly grop.

"Amateur, impulsive, obsessed with the media and a lack of coherence" were the main criticisms aimed at the current state of affairs.

"Our foreign policy is one of improvisation often undertaken with respect to domestic political considerations," they wrote.

A bold move as far as the weekly news magazine L'Express was concerned and one "which coming from a group of people known for their discretion, indicated how worrying the situation was."

Remembering the victims of Air France flight 447

A memorial service will be held in Paris on Tuesday for families of those who died in the Air France flight 447 crash last year.

It'll take place at the Parc Floral in the French capital and will be followed by the inauguration of a monument at the Père Lachaise cemetery

The commemorations will be private and reserved for the families of the 216 passengers and 12 crew members who died exactly a year ago when the Rio de Janeiro-Paris flight crashed into the Atlantic Ocean.

But on the first anniversary of what was the worst accident in the airline's history, those whose loved ones perished are frustrated that so little progress has been made in determining the cause of the accident.

As the weekly news magazine Le Point says, the families looking for explanations are "caught in game of ping pong between different hypotheses; from Air France for example whose objective is to show that there was a fault in the design or construction of the aircraft (an Airbus A330-200 ) to Airbus which has suggested that the pilots were poorly trained or the 'plane poorly maintained."

"The assumptions," says Le Point "outnumber the certainties."

For Alain Jakubowicz, one of the lawyers representing the families, there has been a general unwillingness on the part of the investigating authorities to want to shed light on what really happened.

"In two of the reports released by the Bureau d'enquêtes et d'analyses (BEA, the French government agency responsible for investigating aviation accidents) there's no analysis of the autopsies carried out on the bodies that have been recovered," he's quoted as saying in another weekly news magazine L'Express.

"Investigators also downplay the role of the 'planes (speed) sensors," he added.

"Is there really any evidence that there's a desire by the investigators to provide information about the drama?"

It's that apparent lack of transparency which is most frustrating for many of the families according to Françoise Fouquet who lost her daughter and son-in-law in the accident.

"Everybody wants to know the truth and nobody can afford the luxury of not knowing," she told reporters on the eve of Tuesday's commemorations.

"The memory remains a nightmare and I have the impression that the suffering (of those who lost loved ones) has increased since the accident."

Ordeal over for French tourists in Brazil

On Tuesday a Brazilian court handed down fines to two French citizens, and acquitted a third, accused of inciting a "passenger rebellion" aboard a Paris-bound flight from São Paulo on December 6.

Unless there's an appeal in the case, the ruling should bring an end to what was described by one family member back in France as a "nightmare" for all involved.

The three had been aboard a TAM-operated flight which had already spent more than three hours on the tarmac before take-off because of a malfunction in the aircraft's computer system.

Explanations from the flight crew as to the cause of the delay were apparently only offered in Portuguese and English, and some passengers, among them the three who were later arrested, panicked and requested to be allowed to disembark and take another flight.

That request was refused and somehow "talk of rebellion" reached the cockpit and the police were called in to detain the "ringleaders" and escort them from the 'plane.

So who were these three "rabble rousers" accused of endangering the lives of other passengers and delaying the departure of the TAM flight?

They weren't, as you might be thinking, drunken and uncontrollable yobs, but two retired French men, Michel Ilinskas aged 61 and Antonio Nascimento aged 64, along with Emilie Camus, a 54-year-old hospital worker, all part of a small group of tourists returning home after a two-week cruise.

Ilinskas and Nascimento were held on suspicion of being the main "troublemakers" and Camus, the only Portuguese-speaker among them, was also arrested accused of having "incited violence" through her translations.

As can be seen from the accompanying amateur video taken by another passenger aboard the same flight, they weren't exactly treated with kid gloves when they were taken off the 'plane.

Why the three (and others) reacted in the way they did, perhaps needs to be seen in the light of the Air France flight 447 from Rio de Janeiro to Paris which crashed into the Atlantic in June last year killing all 216 passengers and 12 crew members.

Indeed the fate of that flight was mentioned at the trial and Nascimento, who was fined $US 1,400, explained why he had panicked.

"It's just not normal that a 'plane which has an 11 hour journey ahead of it should be subject to three successive equipment failures," he said.

"All I did was to speak rather loudly and express my fear of dying."

As far as Ilinskas, who received a $US 2,800 fine, was concerned, the verdict might not have been fair but he was happy the ordeal was over.

"The trial didn't reflect what truly happened on the 'plane," he said.

"But what's important for me now is to be able to return to France."

DON'T mention the word bomb on a 'plane

Yet another story of a French citizen falling foul of local authorities while abroad.

After the case of those detained in Brazil in December for causing a disturbance on a 'plane, comes the story of Jean-Louis Lioret, who finds himself behind bars in Abu Dhabi for "making a pleasantry about a bomb".

These are perhaps more than ever times during which witticisms or quips don't exactly go down a storm at airports or aboard 'planes, no matter how clever or smart you might think they are.

Actually maybe they never did as customs and passport officials are hardly renowned for their sense of humour.

And in the light of what happened on Christmas Day last year when Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab attempted to blow up Northwest Airlines flight 253 from Amsterdam to Detroit, it's hardly surprising that questions have been raised about air safety and security and that cabin crew and passengers alike are more alert and sensitive.

That's something maybe Jean-Louis Lioret should have borne in mind as he made what he obviously thought was a harmless comment but for which he now finds himself behind bars in the United Arab Emirates (UAE).

Lioret was on his way from Paris to Bangkok last week on board the UAE's national carrier Etihad, when the 'plane made a scheduled stopover in the country's capital Abu Dhabi.

Another passenger reportedly asked the 66-year-old retired engineer if he could place a package next to him in a vacant seat and, according to Lioret's brother, Michel, who has managed to talk to him in prison, he agreed.

"Of course," responded Lioret. And then those ill-judged words, "As long as it's not a bomb,"

"It was just a pleasantry" says his brother. "And even though Jean-Louis tried to tell the cabin crew as much, they alerted security and he was taken off the 'plane."

Lioret and his brother (and perhaps others) might have thought the remark to be inoffensive, but airline staff and local officials obviously didn't think so as the Frenchman was "arrested in accordance with international standards currently in use, that any passenger suspected or even joking about terrorism can be stopped."

In the UAE an individual can apparently be held for seven days without being charged.

The French deputy consul in the UAE, Carole Loisel, who has reportedly also spoken to Lioret, says the conditions in which he is being held are good.

"He has not yet appeared before a judge," she said. "So we don't know exactly what he is alleged to have said."

Christmas return home unlikely for French tourists in Brazil plane row

There seems to be little hope that three French citizens detained earlier this month by Brazilian authorities for causing a disturbance on a 'plane, will be home in time for Christmas.

On Monday their families had hoped to have a private audience with the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, but all they managed to do was to hand in a letter asking him to intervene on their behalf.

So what's the story all about and how come two retired French men, Michel Ilinskas aged 61 and Antonio Nascimento aged 64 ans, along with Emilie Camus, a 54-year-old hospital worker from the Parisian suburbs are still in Brazil and being held under house arrest?

Well, what happened to them perhaps needs to be seen in the light of the Air France flight 447 from Rio de Janeiro to Paris which crashed into the Atlantic in June killing all 216 passengers and 12 crew members and the fears that has understandably engendered to many taking to the skies.

The three were among a group of French tourists who had been on a two-week cruise and were due to return home from São Paulo on December 6 aboard a flight operated by the Brazilian airline TAM.

Their 'plane was reportedly held on the tarmac for three hours because of a malfunction in the aircraft's computer system.

Explanations from the flight crew as to the cause of the delay were apparently only offered in Portuguese and English, and although Camus, who speaks Portuguese, was able to translate, some passengers, among them the three who were later arrested, panicked and requested to be allowed to disembark and take another flight.

That request was refused and somehow "talk of rebellion" reached the cockpit and the police were called in to detain the "ringleaders" and escort them from the 'plane.

As can be seen from the accompanying amateur video, they weren't exactly treated with kid gloves.

Ilinskas and Nascimento were held on suspicion of being the main "rabble rousers" and Camus, was also arrested accused of having "incited violence" through her translations.

On Monday the families of the three and their supporters rallied outside the Elysée palace in Paris, the official residence of the French president, hoping they would be able to persuade him in person to intervene with Brazilian authorities on their behalf.

But all they managed was to hand in a letter, and they hold little hope of seeing their loved ones before the holiday season starts.

"The only hope I have is an intervention at the highest level," Muriel Ilinskas, the wife of one of those detained, told French news.

"It's a complete nightmare and I don't see an end to it."

French TV: when Sting becomes "string"

Ah the delights of live television and radio.

Mistakes are inevitably made: sometimes embarrassing, often amusing as long as they're not inappropriate.

After all who hasn't seen or heard one of those programmes poking fun at presenters' bloopers especially when terribly earnest anchors become tongue tied and mispronounce a name or a word with hilarious results?

And anyone paying attention to the Tuesday evening broadcast of this country's most watched prime time news, will undoubtedly have had a smile on their face courtesy of Laurence Ferrari.

The short report she voiced over was on British rock singer, Sting, who was in Brazil to meet Raoni Metyktire as part of a campaign to urge the country's government to listen to the concerns of indigenous peoples over the proposed construction of the massive Belo Monte hydro-electric dam in the Amazon.

Only Ferrari threw in an "r" into the former Police lead singer's name before making a quick correction and only just preventing herself from laughing (it doesn't matter if you don't speak French, you'll still be able to get the gist of what happened).



True professionalism and probably one many would wish to replicate under similar circumstance, especially those among us who have at one time or another been guilty of on-air giggles.

Such as a certain person not a million miles away from this keyboard who once announced the result of a tennis match between Marc Rosset, then the Swiss number one, and fellow Swiss, Roger Federer, early on in his career, as a "straight sets" win for the latter.

Except the second "s" in "sets" was somehow replaced with an "x", followed by a quick correction and uncontrollable chortling before a jingle came to the rescue.

Just for the record, and to return to Sting, following the recent release of his album "If on a Winter's Night", the 58-year-old will be giving a one-date only concert here in France at the Salle Pleyel in Paris on December 15.