Serving up French diplomacy - the François Hollande way

If ever you doubted François Hollande's capacities as a world leader or his talents at practising that oh-so delicate yet famous art of French diplomacy, you may be reassured.

As the host of this year's 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings and the Battle of Normandy, the French president found the ideal way of meeting and greeting world leaders as they assembled for Friday's events - and ensuring that nobody had their nose proverbially put out of joint.

And he managed it with bonhomie - helped along with a healthy appetite or at least a gastronomic capacity which would make any man proud.

First up Hollande played host to Queen Elizabeth II at the Elysée palace.

Tea for two - and a few more - presumably along with something to take the edge off his appetite as he had a hard evening of chow down power talking ahead of him.

Then it was off to Michelin starred chef Guy Savoy's restaurant Le Chiberta in the VIII arrondissement of Paris for dinner with the US president Barack Obama (and entourage).

On the menu, according to Savoy who tweeted (what else?)  what he had  prepared - blue lobster salad and Normandy sea bass as the two men (and entourages) talked (but hopefully not with their mouths full) politics.

(screenshot Guy Savoy Twitter)

And then back to the Elysée palace (because of course Hollande had a "double dinner date dilemma") for what was described as a "light supper" (doesn't that just make the mind boggle) with Russian president Vladimir Putin.

Ah yes. Hollande - willing to sacrifice all - and especially his waistline - for the sake of keeping everyone happy.

François Hollande at the Salon de l'Agriculture, February 2014 (screenshot collage from Le Petit Journal Zapping)

And he hasn't finished yet.

Because after Friday's memorial celebrations in Normandy, he'll be hotfooting (or more likely helicoptering) it back to Paris and the Elysée palace once again for a state banquet with Queen Elizabeth II as the guest of honour.

http://news.yahoo.com/france-pulls-stops-super-guest-honour-queen-elizabeth-170945179.html

Chapeau M. Le President.

Alka Selzer?

Christmas shopping - look at the labels carefully

A few last minute offers at the local supermarket and the labels on the packaging , quite frankly, must leave you wondering, "why?" and whether anyone actually buys them.

There's nothing like fresh slab of game for Christmas dinner - and this is nothing like fresh!

Clearly there aren't enough boar in France

And finally, if you're too lazy to make it yourself, you can always by it in a packet...but why would you?

Whatever happened to François Hollande's camel? The answer

As if you needed reminding, things aren't going too well for the French president, François Hollande, at the moment.

The Cahuzac affair and low poll ratings aside, there's another example of just how bad things have become.

The fate of the "presidential" camel.

No, not a reference to anyone in particular at the Elysée palace, but rather the gift from the people of Mali back in February to the French president as a "thank you" to Hollande for "liberating" the country.

Remember how during a visit to Timbuktu, Hollande was somewhat upstaged by the bellowing from the young camel (or dromedary to be entirely accurate) and promised - none too seriously - that he would, "use it as a means of transportation as often as possible."

Plans to have the animal shipped back to France though, came to nothing and instead the Powers That Be decided it would better off remaining in Mali and being looked after by a local family.

Except - the least that can be said - is that things don't appear to have turned out very well for the camel.

As reported in the French media, the defence minister, Jean-Yves Le Drian, who among his many, very important responsibilities has been charged with giving the government weekly updates on the camel's well-being, was informed last week that it was no longer with us.

It had been eaten.

No comment from the Elysée palace yet.

But for those who wish to remember the animal's Warhol-like 15 minutes of fame, here's that video from February again.

France's sweet tooth Epiphany - Galette or gâteau des Rois?

It's one of those things - along with among others, soccer teams Paris Saint-Germain/Marseille and the weather - that apparently illustrates the North-South divide in France.

The choice of a galette des Rois (North) or a gâteau (or couronne) des Rois (South) might not exactly be the Gallic version of Switzerland's Röstigraben, as there's no linguistic difference. But there's very definitely a gastronomical and therefore in a sense, cultural one.

La galette des Rois

Le gâteau des Rois

As French television "news" never seemed to tire telling viewers leading up to January 6, Epiphany is traditionally celebrated in France with the downing of one or the other - depending on where you come from and whether you like frangipane.

According to TF1, the galette des Rois produced by boulanger Stéphane Louvard was chosen as the best in Paris this year.

Apparently Louvard worked for more than 15 years to get the right mix of puff pastry and almond paste and perfect his technique to beat out almost 300 others to pick up this year's title.



Meanwhile as BFM TV reported, in the South, the traditional alternative is la couronne des Rois: a brioche (in all its variations) decorated with candied fruit and "flying off the shelves for those who cannot stand almond paste."

While the one featured in the BFM TV report looked a little top heavy to say the least, there are more - shall we say "restrained" versions of the same thing also kicking around.

La couronne des Rois (screenshot BFM TV)

Either the galette or the gâteau should bring a smile to the face of anyone with a sweet tooth (even if there's no chocolate involved).

Plus of course the person who ends up with the fève or trinket in their slice (unlikely to be porcelain unless you've plumped for a very upmarket version) will get to "wear the crown" and play King (or Queen) for the day.

Not yet another flippin' TV cooking programme - French MasterChef season 3

Turn on French telly it seems, and among the trash reality programmes, imported US series and sports you'll be treated to something that in recent years has become a trend - cooking shows.

Thursday sees the return to French screens of MasterChef - for its third season.

MasterChef - The contestants (screenshot TF1)

Yep the self-proclaimed home of gastronomy and the country which has, if not exactly its food then the whole business of preparing, serving and eating it as one of Unesco's intangible world heritages, has succumbed to the invasion of the culinary game show that, quite frankly, seems to put the emphasis as much on it being a contest as it does the obvious talent that some participants have.

It's not enough that there's a whole channel, Cuisine +, dedicated to food and what can be done with it in the kitchen (available without encryption to those who have the very basic Canal + subscription on channel 41)

Both M6 and TF1 have taken concepts which originated in the United Kingdom and adapted them for a French viewing public.

On M6 there's a daily serving of "Un dîner presque parfait" (based on Channel 4's "Come dine with me") which has also morphed into a "very best of" version to find an annual winner among the purely hobby cooks.

And proving there can never be too much of a good thing. the channel also has Top Chef an adaptation of the US show - this time professionals who obviously need the exposure take on each other to be crowned...well you fill in the blanks.

Both the very best of Un dîner presque parfait and Top Chef have more or less the same set of judges.

For the moment TF1 has just the one cooking game show, MasterChef - oh and the inevitable sidekick, Junior MasterChef for the highly precocious.

The original concept is of course British - so a huge round of applause to the BBC - dating from 1990 and revamped into the international monster it has since become in 2005.

Sadly France has also caught the bug

There's little need to explain how it works. Even of you're unfamiliar with the original, it doesn't take a doctorate to work out that the a panel of judges struts and tuts, nods and shakes collective heads and decides the fate of the contestants as they're put through ever more ludicrous kitchen scenarios to find the eventual winner.

MasterChef - the judges (screenshot TF1)

Chefs Frédéric Anton and Yves Camdeborde along with journalist and food critic (and thereby living by the maxim perhaps of those who can't, write about it) Sébastien Demorand
will be returning once again as the jury.

The (cough, cough) "excellent" Carole Rousseau will play host (not much to do there apart from call out names and explain to viewers what's happening in her monotonous pitch) and all the contestants of course are going to give the best of themselves - not just 100 per cent worth because that would be undestatement but 200 per cent, 500 - or hey even a 1,000 per cent. Why not?



Something like 24,000 apparently applied to take part, but thankfully the judges have whittled that down to (just) 100 among whom of course will be this year's winner.

Full of hyperbole, the promotional videos says the level of candidates this year is incredibly high (well it's hardly going to say they're a bunch of no-hopers, now is it?) there are going to be more surprises, some really difficult tests and  of course exceptional moments including - apparently - serving up a meal from a cave for some pot holers!



Why?

Well, because this is not really about cooking is it? Instead it's a game, entertainment in which, we're led to believe, the best cook wins.

To avoid the programme, be sure to be watching another channel or doing something entirely different from 20h50 on Thursday evening.

Bon appetit.

Nadine Morano's multicultural culinary recipe for not being branded a racist

She's at it again.

Just when you thought it was safe to turn on your radio or telly, up pops former minister Nadine Morano with the latest "proof" that she's anything but a racist.

Last week, you might remember, she managed to put both feet decidedly in her mouth at the same time by claiming that she couldn't possibly be accused of being racist because, "Some of her closest friends were Arabs."

And if anyone needed proof of just how open and accepting she was they only had to look at the fact that her best friend, "Was originally from Chad and so even blacker than an Arab."

Never one to know quite when its time to stop, Morano this week has gone all culinary to prove her multicultural credentials.

Nadine Morano (screenshot from Jean-Marc Morandini show on Europe 1)

She was the guest on Jean-Marc Morandini's show on Europe 1 radio on Wednesday morning and of course one of the questions she was asked was about the brouhaha caused by her comments the previous week.

Morano defended herself (to the best of her ability) giving the context in which her...er..."clumsy" references had been made and then, just for good measure throwing in suitable ingredients (of the edible sort) just to drive home how badly her comments had been misinterpreted.

"Actually I don't need to justify myself because I'm not a racist although I'm more of a fan of the classic pizza rather than the 'oriental' one mentioned in a supposedly humorous sketch which had preceded my comments," she explained before happily clodhopping her way on.

"On the other hand, I absolutely adore couscous and the traditional (North African) egg brik."

Groan.

Nobody in the studio seemed to find what was later reported as Morano's attempt to raise a laugh, in the least bit amusing.

The big question perhaps is not when this woman will stop.

It seems to be a foregone conclusion that although she no longer a parliamentarian, let alone a member of the government, she cannot keep out of the limelight and is similarly incapable of not dropping a clanger.

No, the real issue must be that of when will journalists and radio or television hosts stop inviting her on to their programmes and giving her a platform from which to lumber from one idiotic statement to the next?

The answer -  it seems - is not any time soon.

So with that thought it mind, dear reader, here's a solemn promise.

This is the very last time you'll read a piece on Nadine Morano here...until the next time that is.

The Waitress from Hell, "If you're not happy, clear off!"

You have to wonder sometimes about Internet guides on the best places to eat out and comments made by those who've apparently dined at a particular restaurant.

After all, who's not to say that the "positive" reviews are in fact being written by Net-savvy restaurant owners keen to counterbalance anything negative that might have been said about them.

The key word surely has to be "caution".

And if you read of one person's unbound enthusiasm for a place among several less-than-glowing reviews, then perhaps you've only got yourself to blame if you don't take heed of what would appear to be the reality of what's going on.

Such is the case of a seemingly charming restaurant in a side street of the centre of the old city of Albi in southwestern France.

Albi was designated a Unesco World heritage site last year, and it's easy to understand why.

It's rich in history, culture, architecture, nature, sport.

Sainte Cécile cathedral, Albi

In fact it's got the lot, including a waitress who makes the Wicked Witch of the West look like Mary Poppins.

She works at a restaurant in rue de la Piale, where you'll find several places serving food more-or-less typical to the region.

None of them is swanky. Instead their menus consist of simple, decent, wholesome dishes, and eating there should be a delight.

Rue de la Piale, Albi

"Should" being the operative word.

Because where the Waitress from Hell works, you're far from being guaranteed a warm welcome.

The restaurant proudly displays a recommendation from the 2010 edition of the influential French restaurant guide Gault et Millau on a beam of the timber-framed facade, just next to the main entrance.

This year though, it doesn't feature among those chosen by the critics.

Perhaps it has something to do with the reception clients receive from that woman.



A review from one person who encountered her, described the service at "deplorable".

But the thing is, you don't actually need to eat there to "enjoy" the ambience and quality of hospitality provided by a dragon in a pinny.

A hot summer's evening in August, and while savouring a meal at a neighbouring restaurant, diners were treated to a display of French arrogance at its glorious best.

The "Waitress from Hell" was evidently upset with a couple of customers, and she didn't care who knew about it.

While it wasn't clear to anyone unfortunate enough to be within screaming distance as to what the poor clients had actually done, it was all too obvious that they were IN THE WRONG.

Their first bawling out lasted several minutes with the woman, whose job it was (remember) to serve and ensure the clientele was happy, making it loudly known that, "She had done her best but there was just no pleasing some people and they (the customers) should stop complaining."

The clink of cutlery and the chink of glasses and hubbub of conversation from diners at other restaurants stopped as everyone turned to watch and listen.

They weren't to be disappointed as the ogress continued her tirade.

Somehow though she seem to rediscover her composure and needing time to breathe became aware that perhaps she had gone just a tad too far (let's be generous).

There followed a calm, a half-hearted apology and a return to some level of dignity.

But you knew it was just too good to last and several minutes later the harridan was in full flow once again, raising the decibel level up several notches just in case someone, somewhere in the vicinity hadn't heard first time around.

It was the same bad-mannered tone ending with an aggressive flourish to the couple that if, "Things weren't to their liking, then perhaps they should go somewhere else."

Wisely they did.

Customer service with a difference - guaranteed - at the restaurant with the Waitress from Hell

Conclusion, if you want to be insulted, then this is the place to go.

If you want to watch customers being humiliated, then choose one of the neighbouring restaurants and wait for the shrew's show to begin.

Bon appetit.

French supermarket sees sense over rubbish bin "thief"

Sometimes you just have to admit that it's a mad, bad world in which those at the top of the heap are in charge and make the rules and those at the bottom - well they just have to like it and lump it.

But sometimes - especially when the regulations are enforced and the outcome is just so barmy, the cause of the so-called "little man" can be helped by the support of those around him and justice can be done.

Monoprix (screenshot from BFM TV report)

Such is surely the case of Kader, a 59-year-old employee of the French supermarket chain Monoprix in the southern city of Marseille.

Last Monday he was sent home from his job and threatened with being sacked.

His crime?

He had supposedly "stolen" six melons and two lettuces.

Except there's a very good reason for the inverted commas.

As the regional daily La Provence reported, Kader had simply retrieved them from a bin at the back of the store where, as out-of-date products, they were waiting to be collected and taken to the nearest landfill.

It appeared that such behaviour was tantamount to "misconduct" and as far as Monoprix rules were concerned employees weren't allowed to take home food even if it were destined for landfill; it said as much in the work contract Kader had signed.

"I didn't know," the shelf-filler who had been working for the store for the past eight years told the newspaper.

"I'm so ashamed. I've never, ever stolen anything in all my years of working," he continued.

"I told my manager, 'If I've stolen something, call the police'. I'm not a thief and I've never taken a thing in my life."

Management at the store remained stumm, refusing to talk to the local media.

But the story soon spread and was reported nationally.

Kader repeated what he had told La Provence on national radio Europe 1.

"When I passed the rubbish bin I saw the melons and lettuce ready to be thrown away," he said

"I thought they were in a reasonable state so I decided to take them home - just to eat," said the father of six.

The unions were soon on the case, pointing out that Monoprix's main shareholder, Casino , had just reported record profits but according to company rules, "appeared ready to fire a man for taking home food that was going to be thrown away."

A demonstration was held outside the shop. Kader's colleagues were interviewed and expressed how "pathetic" they found management's decision.

Monoprix's official Facebook page started receiving complaints and there were calls from some Internauts for a boycott of the store.

And an online petition was started, calling for Kader to be reinstated.

So much bad publicity and on such a scale for a management stance that was surely both as untenable as it was ridiculous.

The Powers that Be at the store finally caved in on Friday, seeing sense and reducing Kader's penalty to a simple one-day reprimand for having failed to follow company regulations.

Regulations which the national daily France Soir says the company had hidden behind in an attempt to explain its (over)reaction and which officially aimed, "To protect human health by avoiding the consumption of spoiled products."

Kader spoke to the local commercial television station, LCM, after he had received news that he was being reinstated.

"I was moved by the reaction of the media, my colleagues and the unions," he said.

"I would just like to thank everyone for the support they've given me."

Gazpacho - à la française

It's summer and a great time to enjoy a typical Spanish dish; gazpacho, a cold tomato-based vegetable soup.

Absolutely delicious even if sometimes the chef tends to be a little heavy-handed on the garlic.

Now you might think that the French, when they decide to "revisit" a recipe - albeit from another country - and add their own special touch to a classic, would come up with something rather special.

After all back in November last year the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation (Unesco) recognised French gastronomy as a world treasure when it added it to its list "aiming to protect intangible slices of a nation's heritage."

That was the somewhat formal and convoluted way of saying it had been given the official seal of approval and was the first time any country's gastronomy had been included.



That's all well and good, but take a look at the preparation suggestions on a box of dinky glasses for amuse-bouches available in a chain of hard discount (or "ard discoont" as pronounced in French) stores up and down the country.



Can't read what's written without having the print enlarged?

No sooner said than done. Here you go.



You see that?

The third tip on what to make, and how - "Espagne: gaspacho (mixer 1 boite de tomate pelées avec un bocal de poivrons égoutté et un concombre épluché."

For those of you whose French is a little on the rusty side, that reads - "Spain: gazpacho (mix 1 can of peeled tomatoes with a jar of drained peppers and a peeled cucumber."

Nothing like fresh ingredients...and that's nothing like etc...

Yum.

Bon appetit.

Or should that be buen provecho?

French pigs grunt and fart but are also great to eat

Well that's the message pig farmers in northwestern France are trying to get across about the animals they raise to make a living.

screenshot from Les éleveurs de porcs bretons website

Vegetarians move along, this won't appeal.

"Il grogne, il pète, et pourtant grâce à lui vous mangez sain, sûr, bon et breton !" is the slogan the association Les éleveurs de porcs bretons (Brittany pig farmers) has come up with to help update their image.

Or put another way, "It grunts, it farts, but thanks to it you eat healthily, safely, well and what's more it's from Brittany...yes it loses a little something in translation.

It features in an advertising campaign the association will be launching on June 13 with posters being put up in over 400 villages and towns throughout the region and it's an attempt to improve the image of the pig-farming sector among Bretons and at the same time encourage them to eat something so important to the economy of the region.

Appearing on the poster is "David" - a thirty-something, cleancut, boy-next-door type farmer - and alongside him, what TF1 news calls, "A cute piglet reminiscent of the star of the film 'Babe'."

It might be a more than quirky way of trying to counter the image the public has of pig farming, but as the association's press release says that's exactly its intention.

"There's a certain mistrust of pig farmers and that's exactly the kind of public perception we want to change by being deliberately provocative and offbeat," says the release.

"We also want to encourage Bretons to eat a meat that's farmed locally and remind them just how good it is."

And there's also a testimonial from that farmer "David" featured in the campaign.

He is in fact David Riou, a pig farmer from Finistère in the far west of Brittany.

He wants pig farming to break away from the polluting and unhealthy image it has had, but he's aware the sector faces an uphill battle to change peoples' opinions.

"Of course our farms have an impact on the envirnoment and over the years all those headlines about the spreading of manure, nitrates in the water the crisis of green algae have left their mark," he says.

"We've been working for the past 15 years to make sure our environmental impact is lower, but it takes time," he continues.

"For example over the past decade we've lowered by 20 per cent the level of nitrates in our local river, and we mustn't forget that the industry employs around 31,000 people locally."

Pass the apple sauce.

The new World Pizza Champion is French - and a woman - Dorothée Leombruni

Think pizza, think Italy - right?

Well think again.

Pizza Margherita (from Wikipedia, author ElfQrin (Valerio Capello)

Yes it might be a traditional Italian dish, but the new World Pizza Champion is....French.

As the regional daily La Provence proudly reports Dorothée Leombruni from the southern French town of Salon-de-Provence "blew the judges away" at the recent championships held in Rome, Italy.

What makes Leombruni's exploits even more extraordinary, says the paper - apart from the fact that the 31-year-old is a woman in what is predominantly man's world - is that she's only been in the pizza business for a couple of years.

In November 2009 she decided a change in direction was needed so she gave up the security of her nine-to-five job, took a course in Italy in how to make pizzas and then returned to Salon-de-Provence to set up shop and "perfect her technique."

Success came pretty quickly as her pizzaria "Stellina Pizza" quickly became a hit with the locals and in 2010 Leombruni was crowned France's pizza champion when she served up "Abruzzo", a pizza whose ingredients were cream of porcini mushrooms, fresh tomatoes and truffle cream.

For the judges in Rome she pulled out all the stops with the appropriately-named "Stella di Mare" consisting of - wait for it - langoustines, black truffles, courgette, cherry tomoto confit and crab bisque.

But if you're hoping to ring Salon-de-Provence in the hope of ordering one, you'll be disappointed as Leombruni explained to the national daily Aujourd'hui en France - Le Parisien.

"Everyone's asking me for it," she told the newspaper.

"But unfortunately it's just too complicated."

Still with over 22 currently on her menu including the Classics such as "Magherita", the Mythical in the form of "Bollywood" (chicken, curry sauce and mozzarella) or Gastronomic for example "Salannaise" (tapanade, tomotoes, mozzarella, mushrooms, aubergines and artichoke hearts) there's pretty much something for every palate.

And prices run from €8.50 to €16 - not bad for something served up by a world champion.

Le Toutou bar in Brussels - a restaurant for dogs

Belgium might not have had a fully elected government for over a year now, but it can boast a first - and something that has nothing whatsoever to do with politics;

A restaurant with a menu for dogs.

screenshot from Le Toutou bar website

Le Toutou bar (the doggie bar) in Brussels is serving up dishes destined to delight the palate of even the most discerning dog.

The idea is the brainchild of Bernard Schol and his wife Houria Agalam, who have the licence to run the Pavillon Louis XV, a splendid building dating from 1745, owned by the local authority and which can be found in the Wolvendael park in the Belgian capital.

And its setting is what gave the couple the idea not only to cater for their regular clientele but to open it up to man's best friend.

"We noticed that a number of people who had been in the park walking their dogs were dropping in for a drink," he said.

"But there was absolutely no provision made for their dogs."

And it was with that thought in mind that they drew up a menu comprising not just specially concocted drinks but also food for hungry hounds.

Just take a look at what's on offer.

There's a choice of dishes from pasta or rice to vegetables, beef or chicken. All of them are high in fibre and low in salt.

Just the ticket for panting pooches and their owners who've returned from a brisk walk or run around the park's 18 hectares.

If that's left you feeling hungry you can also tuck in because according to the website, "All dishes are also suitable for human consumption."

Mind you, perhaps it would be wise to give the beer a miss.

"Red Dog" energy beer as it names implies, has been specifically brewed for pooches of all sizes with what is described as the "subtle taste of bone marrow".

Delicious.

screenshot from local television report

Le Toutou bar will remain open throughout the summer serving drinks and snacks to panting pooches and their equally owners.

Bone appetit.

Woof!

New Michelin guide to France throws up a few surprises

Michelin Guide to France 2011 awards star to French restaurant that has closed

Back in January the word was, among those apparently "in the know" on the Net that the new Michelin hotel and restaurant guide for France would hold a few surprises.

(From Wikipedia - author, Trou)

How prescient that turned out to be, because to the consternation of many a top chef in this gastronomical delight of a country, there were no new names added to the list of those obtaining the much-revered three stars when the 2011 edition was published on Monday.

It was, as the national daily Le Monde reported, "The first time it had happened (or not happened as the case might be) since 1992."

And with Michel Trama's Les Loges de l'aubergade in Puymirol in the southwestern département of Lot-et-Garonne losing one of its stars the number of elite three-star restaurants in France now totals 25.

But wait. That's not really the surprise that has created something of a buzz since the guide's publication.

Instead it's the awarding of a star for the first time to Max Bichot's Les Hêtres in the village of Ingouville in the northern French département of Seine-Maritime.

Now hold your horses if you're thinking of making a beeline for the place to discover what's on the menu and try out some of Bichot's specialities.

Because, as the regional daily Paris Normandie reveals, Les Hêtres has been closed for the past couple of months.

Yep, Michelin has awarded a star to a restaurant that no longer exists.

"The star came too late," Bichot told the newspaper.

"I closed the restaurant on December 30; all the staff have been fired and the property has been sold." he added.

Bichot, who took over the restaurant in 2009, invested €200,000 in the business but was forced to close at the end of last year because,"There simply weren't enough clients."

"Perhaps if I had had a mention in either the 2009 or 2010 guide it would have made a difference," he told Europe 1 radio.

"Readers of the guide would perhaps have come to taste what was on the menu rather than going past the restaurant without stopping," he said.

So a Michelin star but no restaurant, Bichot is both reportedly proud and sad at the same time.

For the moment though he has no plans of opening another restaurant, preferring to "avoid the stress" by helping out in his partner's kitchen.

French farmer fined for feeding ducks cannabis

You might want to check your diaries because the following tale sure seems as though it's an April Fool.

But even though it's without doubt just a tad ridiculous and certainly offbeat, it is in fact true.

A court the southwestern town of Rochefort has fined a local farmer, Michel Rouyer, and given him a suspended sentence for feeding his ducks cannabis.


Yep, you read correctly. Rouyer, who keeps 150 of the birds and fattens them up in time for the seasonal rush in France on foie gras, had cultivated a dozen or so cannabis plants as well for purely "medical reasons" of course.

Mind you not his own.

According to Rouyer, who lives in the village of La Gripperie-Saint-Symphorien, he used the leaves of the plants to feed to his ducks in the final weeks before they were slaughtered because cannabis acted as an excellent dewormer.

It was a claim he made when he appeared before magistrates insisting that, "A specialist advised me to do it" and maintaining that the plants were grown exclusively for use by his ducks and he didn't trade in the drug at all.

And his lawyer, Jean Piot, in defending his client, told the court that, strange as the explanation might be, "None of the ducks had worms and were all in excellent health."

Perhaps not surprisingly that argument failed to cut much ice and Rouyer received a one-month suspended sentence and a €500 fine.

It seemed to cut little ice with the court though who handed down a €500 fine and delivered Rouyer a one-month suspended sentence.

It is, as the regional daily Sud Ouest remarks in reporting the story, certainly a most timely decision coming in the same week as Unesco recognised French gastronomy as a world treasure.

Quack - man!

Unesco recognises French gastronomy as a world treasure

French cuisine really IS the best in the world.

Mousseline de patates douces à l'orange , coquilles Saint Jacques poêlées

If anyone really needed confirmation of that, they need look no further than the decision on Tuesday by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation (Unesco) to add it to a list "aiming to protect intangible slices of a nation's heritage."

That's the somewhat formal and convoluted way of saying it has been given the official seal of approval and it's the first time a country's gastronomy has been included.

All right so "intangible heritage" might seem a slightly highfaluting term at first glance, but as Cécile Duvelle, Secretary of the Convention for the Safeguarding of the Intangible Cultural Heritage (there's a mouthful-and-a-half of an official title) says on the organisations website, it's intended to protect and recognise traditions that are threatened by increasing globalisation (see video).



The perhaps extraordinary idea of applying to Unesco first took shape in 2006 when a group of leading French chefs, with not of course the merest hint of gastronomic prejudice, launched a campaign trumpeting that (French) "cuisine was their culture".

The French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, took up the cudgels so to speak when he gave his backing to the official application when it was slapped in last year.

And when experts met in the Kenyan capital Nairobi this week, it was thumbs up for French grub and the whole ritual of presenting, serving and eating it deciding (among other things) that it "plays an active social role within its community and is transmitted from generation to generation as part of its identity."

In short it tastes good and the French like to eat!

Catherine Colonna, France's ambassador to Unesco, was naturally delighted by the decision and said, perhaps a little unnecessarily, how much her fellow countrymen and women enjoyed a meal.

"The French love getting together to eat and drink well and enjoy good times in such a manner," she's quoted as saying.

"It's part of our tradition -- a quite active tradition," she added.

She's not kidding.

As anyone who has ever had the pleasure of being invited to a family meal in France and experienced the delight of tucking into deliciously and lovingly prepared dishes, food still plays an important part in everyday life.

The traditional weekend spread stretching on for hours might be something of a tired cliché, but it does exist, and there is of course a wealth of mouth watering regional gastronomic specialities.

And let's not forget the fascination or almost social obsession the French seem to have with food and chattering about other dishes virtually to the exclusion of the one they're currently "enjoying" as mealtime conversation revolves around - what else, but food.

Bon appétit.

McDonald's withdraws blasphemous Happy Meal

Hamburgers and religion have proven to be a less-than-tasty combination here in France recently although they've certainly been making the news.

After the French fast food chain Quick sparked a row which took on political dimensions following its decision in November last year to take non-halal products and pork off the menu in eight of its 350 branches, McDonald's has found itself the target of criticism.

And at the centre of the controversy has been its Happy Meal for children, which has upset a Catholic priest in the southwestern département of Tarn, led him to call for a local boycott of the fast food giant and brought about a swift reaction and an apology from McDonald's itself.

It's not actually the food as such that has upset Xavier Cormary, the priest in the town of Saint-Suplice, although there are certainly those who would question its nutritional value and place within this country's cuisine. But that's quite another issue.

Instead it was the booklet that accompanied each meal and which contained a number of games and puzzles, one of which he and some of his parishioners found "bordering on the blasphemous".

The game in question shows a design, taken from the popular cartoon series and books for children, Kid Paddle, in which readers have to try to break a code to discover what a bishop is saying as he addresses a couple about to be married.

Harmless enough in the simple description perhaps, except the bishop, who along with the couple is drawn in the form of a misshapen potato, is holding a crucifix depicting Jesus as a frog, and his words, once the code is deciphered read, ""Do you accept to take Suzanne, here present, for dinner?"



Father Comary was incensed when he was made aware of the puzzle at the end of February and, being more than a little Internet-savvy, wrote exactly what he thought about it on his blog.

"Once again, the Christian faith is ridiculed," he wrote. "Marriage is violated, the bishop is mocked, and the crucifix is represented in a form that is offensive to beliefs that are at the heart of our Christian faith."

The 37-year-old didn't stop there though.

He called on parishioners to boycott branches of the fast food chain in the nearby towns of Gaillac and Lavaur, wrote directly to McDonald's France management and the publishers of the game and the original comic books.

And all to good effect it would appear, because according the local newspaper, La Dépêche, not only has he received an apology, but the booklet containing the game that had "caused offence" has been withdrawn.

Nathalie Febvre from McDonald's France customer services reportedly sent an email to the priest earlier this month in which she stressed there had been "no wish in any way to offend the sensibilities of its customers," and that "McDonald's would no longer be distributing Kid Paddle at its restaurants."

Raffles hotel - the tale of the overdone egg and the uncooked burger

Now you're probably thinking that as this is a travel piece it'll be a rapturous review of what is probably one of the most famous names in luxury hotels in the world - Raffles in Singapore.

Well it's not.

"Been there, done that" so to speak, and if you're interested in taking time out to join me in a quick visit I made last year to Number One Beach Road, then you're more than welcome.

Instead this is purely anecdotal in illustrating how some tourists (mis)behave when abroad, with the focus being on those from my adopted home - France - and the country from which I hail, Britain.

And "the action", as such, took place as I made a return visit to Raffles just last week and featured two exchanges between guests and staff that left me with eyes agog, ears a-flapping and a fair measure of embarrassment.

The setting: it's mid morning around the rooftop pool and I'm recovering from a 13-hour trip, slouched over a cool drink in 32 degrees Celsius.

First up the French, who after all have a reputation for being among the most unwelcome when on holiday abroad as a survey of hoteliers carried out on behalf of the Internet travel agency Expedia.fr illustrated last year.

"I want some eggs," said a woman in heavily accented and gutteral English to the barman.

"Certainly madam. How would you like them?" came the smiling response. "Poached, eggs benedict, as an omelette or scrambled perhaps?"

"No none of those," replied the woman. "Just simple...How you say?"

"Boiled?" came the helpful suggestion.

"Yes boiled - three my-newts (French pronunciation remember). One for me and one for my friend."

"Very good madam. And would you like anything else with your eggs?"

"Just toast and some tea," she replied. "Earl Grey for both of us."

"Certainly madam. Just to recap then that's two boiled eggs, toast and Earl Grey tea?"

"Yes. That takes how long?"

"About 10 minutes," came the reply.

"No longer than that," snapped the woman in response. "We're hungry".

Um. Do you notice anything missing?

You know, the simple words "please" and "thank you" that most of us are taught from an early age help jolly along a simple request and aren't exactly difficult to remember.

It was a point I made to my "Nearest and Dearest" (N 'n' D, who happens to be French) as I smugly maintained that what we had just overheard was evidence enough that the French abroad have appalling manners and that their reputation as "arrogant and rude" holidaymakers was more than deserved.

As if to add weight to my argument, when the eggs arrived and had been downed there came the complaint that they had "Obviously been boiled for more than three my-newts as they were almost hard."

There was clearly no pleasing the woman.

But I was to eat humble pie somewhat a few moments later when a fellow Brit proved that he could be even more obnoxious when it suited.

It happened when he requested that local speciality, burger and fries "With no trimmings such as onions, tomatoes, cheese or any other similar muck, just some meat and a roll please."

"Well at least the man had had the good grace, if not the taste, to round off the whole 'order' with a 'please'," I mouthed across the table to my N 'n' D.

But my sense of smugness quickly disappeared when the burger arrived, as it was far from being to the man's satisfaction because "It's raw," he insisted. "Inedible (he actually said uneatable but I'll let that one slide) and I wanted it medium to well done."

The manager was called for. The man repeated his complaint that his burger hadn't been cooked as he had requested, and he went to great (and noisy) lengths to demonstrate that - as far as he was concerned - it was not just under but completely uncooked.

"Look at that," he said to the manager.

"Does that look as though it has been medium to well done?" he continued.

"No it doesn't," he said emphatically, not pausing for breath and pointing at the barman.

"He clearly doesn't understand what 'medium to well done' means. This burger isn't cooked properly and I can't eat it."

Apologies were made by the manager on the barman's behalf and the irate Brit was told that the kitchen would be asked to cook another burger "exactly as requested."

Sadly when burger number two arrived, it didn't meet the demands of the guest either, and as his grievance levels rose a couple of decibels so his manners deteriorated accordingly before he swore at the staff, accused them of not being able to understand a simple request and stormed off in a huff - burgerless.

Within the space of half an hour the hotel staff had been subjected to some pretty appalling behaviour by my fellow Europeans.

Was it, I wondered, simply that some people didn't know how to behave and as it costs a pretty penny or two to stay at Raffles, did that mean some guests thought they could afford to be downright rude?

And did the hotel's principle of pampering visitors and responding to their every whim and caprice encourage guests to give free rein to the very worst sort of behaviour.

I didn't, and still don't, have the answer, but one thing is clear. That old adage "travel broadens the mind" certainly doesn't apply to everyone.

Food - the proof of the pudding really is in the eating

In September 2009, Traction Man, a UK blogger who had spent much of the year in hospital, made the headlines when his "hospital food bingo" game.

It was, as the BBC reported at the time, a challenge he set for his friends to try to identify the meals he had been served up over a period of time, which he described as being invariably "mushy, minced and overcooked".

Not surprisingly perhaps it wasn't always easy for them to guess what was on the "menu" just from the photographs alone.

Commenting at the time on the story, Laurent Ruquier, a well-known radio and television presenter in France, suggested on his daily round-table radio show here that it perhaps went a long way to illustrating the British (and US) obsession for the way in which food is presented and how it looks.

Although The French, he mused (not necessarily seriously) were often equally guilty of paying as much attention to the appearance of what was on their plate, on the whole they were more concerned with taste, edibility and flavours.

Well at a time when many of us are probably recovering from seasonal excesses, two rather different dishes left food for thought (sorry) for one particular gourmet - or should that be gourmand? - on this side of the Channel.

One was sautéed scallops served on a bed of puréed sweet potatoes bought from a local delicatessen and in theory a truly mouth-watering treat for the eyes (if such a thing is possible.



The other was a more homely looking (all right then it resembled something of a dog's dinner when served up) venison in a red wine sauce accompanied by a couple of mashes involving potatoes, celeriac, carrots and various spices.



Certainly from the photos you can see that one definitely looked more tempting, but as if to substantiate that old adage that "the proof of the pudding really is in the eating" it shouldn't be too difficult to guess which one really tickled the taste buds while the other disappointed.

Bon appetit.

The longest chip in the world is...(of course) a French fried potato

There's something strange going on in the north of France.

Just a couple of months after the folk of Sainghin-en-Weppes created a new record for the world's longest chip, French fry, frite or whatever you choose to call it, those from Violaines have gone one better.

Actually they've gone several centimetres better if the truth be told by serving up a chip measuring a whopping 34 centimetres - 9.5 cms longer than the previous record holder.

All right, so perhaps it's not the sort of thing that'll set the country talking or help in its application to have French grub recognised by Unesco as part of the world's cultural heritage.

But it is enough to make it into the Guinness book of records (if as expected it is validated) and a feat (or should that be a "frite") for the locals to be proud of.

Perhaps there's something in the air or more likely the soils as the two towns are just 11 kilometres apart and as everyone (surely) knows a giant chip requires one heck of a spud.

The idea for an attempt came when a friend of Sébastien Billet, the man behind the big chip, dug up a huge 1.2 kilogramme potato - enough for a record or two in its own right.

But the 40-year-old had bigger plans for the brute of a vegetable and inspired by what had taken place in September in Sainghin-en-Weppes, he the 40-year-old thought he would make try his own luck.

He chose the venue - the brasserie Chez Chantal in Violaines - for his monster fry-up, and under the watchful eye of an official adjudicator, the potato was fried.

"We a bit potty," admitted a delighted and proud Billet.

"I've already had calls and orders for two-and-a-half tonnes of chips, and I don't even sell them," he added.

A tale then which might perhaps make the Belgians, often the butt of French jokes about "strange" accents and love of chips, smile a little.

And perhaps it counts as pay back time for the somewhat snooty fashion in the which the French often view the cuisine of their smaller neighbour and that less than politically correct joke that asks, "Where is the biggest chip shop in Europe?"

Answer: "On the border between France and the Netherlands."*

No word on how much ketchup, mayonnaise or vinegar was needed as an accompaniment.





*Hint - a quick glance at a map will show you that those two countries don't share a frontier - because Belgium is in the way.

McDonald's at the Louvre - quelle horreur!

The Louvre in Paris is about to get a new neighbour, as the US fast food chain, McDonald's, plans to open an outlet in the underground mall (Carousel du Louvre) at the approach to the museum.

And "Quelle horreur" seems to be the response from many according to a report in Britain's Daily Telegraph.

Any trip to France of course means enjoying some of the fine grub for which this country is rightly proud.

France even has an application pending with the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation (Unesco) to honour its cuisine.

But if you think the French take a traditionally dim view of US culture and especially its food and drink, think again.

Yes it might well seem to some a little incongruous having such a symbol of modern "culture" right next to a temple of art, but Starbucks is already in the Carrousel du Louvre.

Then there are the facts and figures for McDo's (as it's called here) that speak for themselves.

There are over 1,000 outlets here already. In fact the one opening within waddling distance of the museum will be its 1,142nd as it celebrates 30 years of business in France.

And besides why should the Louvre be spared the same fate that has already "befallen" other prestigious French sites such as the place du Capitole in the heart of Toulouse?

McDonald's, place du Capitole, Toulouse

The French clearly love burgers. McDonald's itself opened 30 new outlets last year and collectively its eateries reportedly pulled in 450 million customers making it the company's biggest market outside of the US.

The country even has its own fast food restaurant chain (although it started life as Belgian) in the shape of Quick, with over 300 restaurants.

And get this.

In last week's episode of the reality television game show Koh Lanta, the French equivalent of Survivor, what did the two contestants who won the reward challenge get as their luxury?

Yep you've guessed it. Burger and chips in the middle of the jungle.

Oh well. Perhaps it's a lost cause and the French shouldn't be too snooty about McDo's setting up shop right next to the Louvre.

Make mine a Mona Lisa burger please - with French fries of course.