FRENCH NEWS - in English of course. Politics, sports, reviews, travel, a slice of life in France and stories you might not necessarily be able to find elsewhere on the Net.
The frequency with which they're commissioned and published in France would have you believe the French do...well at least the country's media does when the news schedule is slack or journalists feel like a good old job of "professional" political speculation.
The latest "nonsense" poll to be published is one carried out by OpinionWay for Le Figaro and LCI telling us that if the 2017 presidential election were to take place today (well, you know how these things work) François Hollande would not make it past the first round.
He would only win 18 per cent of the vote in the first round, trailing both the far-right Front National (FN) leader Marine Le Pen (25 per cent) and the (presumed) candidate for the centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) Nicolas Sarkozy (29 per cent).
In other words the presidential second round in 2017 would be between Le Pen and Sarkozy.
(screenshot OpinionWay poll of voting intentions)
"Allô ! Non mais allô, quoi," to quote a great modern day French thinker.
What's this all about.
Seriously - forecasting results three years hence, based on a poll taken today is...well, misleading to say the least.
Of course it's probably one of the drawbacks of the "quinquennat" or the five-year presidential mandate passed by Jacques Chirac in 2000 and first used in 2002 to replace the previous seven-year term in office.
No sooner has a president been elected in France, than attention seems to focus on what might or could happen five years down the line.
Of course Hollande is unpopular at the moment. We know that because...well the polls keep telling us and the media delights in repeating it.
But predicting that Hollande might not even make it past the first round in 2017 when he's not even halfway through his term in office is...well surely complete and utter nonsense.
In fact it's a non story and one of pure fiction.
Sure it feeds into the widely-held (according to those very same opinion polls) belief that Hollande is incompetent, lacks clear vision and was the major reason for his Socialist party's defeat in last month's local elections,
But in and of itself, the survey says nothing about the likely outcome in 2017. Rather it's just a snapshot of current opinion and the image those polled have of Hollande.
After all, if a week is proverbially "a long time in politics", what the heck does that make three years?
Not convinced? Then just take a look at what a poll, taken at a similar stage during Sarkozy's term in office, predicted for the first round of the 2012 election - two years before the Dominique Strauss-Kahn affair hit the headlines.
Sarkozy followed by Martine Aubry and François Bayrou.
Bienvenue! to another look back at a week in French politics and as you can see from the title, the focus this time around is on prime ministers.
Before plunging head first into the "news" though, a few words on the position itself.
It's an odd sort of role in France because it's the president who gets to appoint (and sack) the person he thinks is the best man (or on one occasion, woman) for the job.
He (or she) has to come from the majority party in parliament . That's why there have been three periods of so-called "cohabitation" since the beginning of the Fifth Republic in 1958 when the prime minister and president have come from different parties.
But the position doesn't have to go to the leader of the majority party.
Had that been the case after the 2012 presidential and parliamentary elections, François Hollande would have chosen Martine Aubry to be prime minister.
Perish the thought!
In fact, rare though it might be, the job doesn't even have to be given to an elected representative.
During his second term as president, for example, Jacques Chirac appointed career diplomat Dominique de Villepin as prime minister for two years.
Sometimes viewed as playing second fiddle to the president, the holder of the office of prime minister is (quoting from the constitution here) charged with "directing the actions of the government, being responsible for national defence and ensuring the implementation of legislation."
And oh yes, if you happen to be Jean-Marc Ayrault, practising the art of the Coué method.
Which brings us nicely to the end of the potted (with cavernous gaps admittedly) overview and allows us to get cracking with the news.
Where better to start (although you could probably think of one) than with Ayrault himself.
In an interview with the regional daily Presse-Océan - which just happens to cover the city of Nantes, where he was mayor for 23 years (ah, can't you just hear the echoes of Arnaud Montebourg's cutting comment that Ayrault "ran the country as though it were a local council"?) the prime minister was in...well...almost "Spice Boy" mode.
Yes, he seemed to have taken a little too literally the lyrics of Baby, Ginger, Posh, Scary and Sporty's 1997 hit "Spice up your life" with an "all you need is positivity" approach.
"There are positive signs that the economy is recovering," he told the paper.
"And we must do everything we can to encourage it because our priority has to be employment."
Oh change the record M. Ayrault.
Speaking of which, do you fancy some music?
No?
Tough.
Ah. That's better. Don't you all feel full of "positivity" now?
Well you'll need to if you're going to understand what's happening with the centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP).
It managed to spend the first part of the week tying itself into knots over which political direction it would or wouldn't take rather than fulfilling its role as a credible opposition.
And it was all down to François Fillon, Ayrault's predecessor at the Matignon.
He dropped a bit of a bombshell at the weekend saying that in next year's municipal elections, UMP supporters should vote for the "least sectarian" candidate in the second round if the party's candidate didn't make it through and it came to a straight run-off between the far-right Front National and the Socialist party.
Yikes!
What the heck was he saying?
Break with the party's policy of urging supporters to vote for neither or was he actually shifting his position?
Nobody really seemed to know and the party went into headless chicken mode as its leaders assembled to clarify policy - all agreeing that the "neither nor" strategy was the one to be followed.
Fillon even appeared in front of the cameras afterwards to repeat that he had "always been against an alliance of any sort with the FN and it had been something he had fought against all his political life" and "he had no intention of changing his position."
Perhaps the answer lies somewhere in the grass roots support there is among UMP party members for some of the FN's policies.
As revealed in a poll at the beginning of the week, over 70 per cent "agreed" with what Fillon had apparently said and were in favour of the FN being considered as a "normal" party.
Also, let's not forget that Fillon is campaigning to be his party's candidate in the 2017 presidential election.
By creating a "buzz", he had not only proven himself a little less colourless than some might have thought, but had made life a little more difficult for the party's leader, Jean-François Copé.
Yes, Fillon looks set to continue with his operation "Stir everything up" for the next...three years.
Wonderful!
So that's present and past dealt with. What about the future?
Well, there was bad news of sorts for the man tipped by many (including himself) to be a future prime minister (president and master of the universe), Manuel Valls.
The interior minister is no longer the country's favourite politician.
In the monthly (yes, these things really are produced that frequently) poll Ipsos conducts for Le Point on political popularity (rather like a hit parade but without the moo-sick) Alain Juppé (a past, past prime minister among many other things) ranked Number One with a song taken from his most recent album "I'm really the man who should be president but I prefer sitting on the sidelines and appearing all statesman-like".
Valls meanwhile, who had been Top of the Pops since October 2012, slipped a place without blowing so much as a gasket.
Now, if, for some peculiar reason, you would like to follow the progression (or otherwise) of your (least) favourite French politician from month to month, you can check out the baromètre de l'action politique Ipsos / Le Point here.
And finally - because it's just too difficult to resist - François Hollande's interview on TF1 with Claire Chazal...as interpreted by those folk over at Les Guignols de l'Info over at Canal +.
screenshot from Les Guignols video
Take the recent chart-topping hit single (yes music has been rather a laboured leitmotif during this piece) "Papaoutai" (Friday's French music break a couple of weeks ago) from Belgian singer-songwriter Stromae, fiddle with the lyrics and put them in the mouth of Hollande's puppet et...voilà "Emploioutai"
Even though both men declared themselves victorious in the opposition centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement,UMP) party's election to choose a new president over the weekend, the post is still vacant.
That's right folks, the UMP organised itself a piss-up in a brewery, asking its 300,000 or so members to choose between the two men and then suspending the count overnight because it was too close to call.
Oh yes, and as this French politics, there were the usual claims of vote-rigging or fraud.
Jean-François Copé "I'm the winner" (screenshot BFM TV)
"There's no question that the results from polling stations, where there have been suggestions of vote rigging, should be taken into account," Copé toldBFM TV on Monday morning, confirming that he was the winner.
"But even if they were, then I would still be the winner," he said.
Right. Very clever M. Copé - basically win-win.
"I'm waiting for the vote to be validated by the party commission charged with overseeing the election. And I'm confident I'll be confirmed as the winner."
Yes. Well. Copé didn't wait for confirmation on Sunday, appearing before supporters to declare that he had won by a couple of thousand votes.
Only to have Fillon announce a few minutes later that he had in fact won - by an even smaller margin.
François Fillon says he has won (screenshot BFM TV)
"Our party is still unable to declare the result officially," Fillon said in the small hours of Monday morning, after having earlier countered Copé's claims of victory with his own.
"It's a major malfunction and I'm completely shocked."
Oh come, come M. Fillon.
Shocked?
This is French politics after all.
And look what happened to the Socialist party in November 2008 as Martine Aubry and Ségolène Royal slugged it out amid claims of stuffed ballot boxes and "missing" votes.
So the party - no the country...oh well go on then, the media - waits on tenterhooks for a final decision and...
Wait, who's that in the (far-right) wings gleefully rubbing their hands in anticipation of the UMP imploding.
Oh look. It's Florian Philipott, the vice-president of the Front National.
"We're experiencing live the demise of the UMP," he said.
"What's clear is that whoever is elected president of the party will not have a real mandate because in effect what you will exist, is a party split into two."
François is sitting at the table, dressed in his best Marks and Spencer dressing gown he bought in London while there recently for the Paralympics, humming to himself while leafing his way through Peter Antonioni and Sean Masaki Flynn's gripping 2007 paperback "Economics for dummies".
Enter Valérie, designer hairnet (???) holding curlers in place and sparks metaphorically flying from her eyes as she slams the door and stomps across the floor.
"Croissant darling?" asks François, putting the book down as he puckers up his lips in anticipation of delivering a morning smacker.
There's a grunt as Valérie ignores the proffered kiss.
"Coffee maybe?" he continues.
Another grunt as Valérie pulls out a chair and plonks herself down opposite him, glowering.
"Sugar?" he asks, adding four teaspoons to help sweeten the temperament of the (second) love of his life.
Silence
"Er...is there something wrong dear?"
The quiet is broken only by the sound of a spoon being stirred; the pace increasing, with François realising that at any moment now the volcano is about to erupt.
There's a sharp intake of breath followed by a shriek...
"HOW COULD YOU?"
François rolls his eyes, feigning innocence and hoping against hopes that his beloved is not referring to what he most fears.
He says nothing.
"YOU'VE INVITED THAT WOMAN TO LUNCH," roars the country's first journalist.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT COSYING UP TO THAT B....."
"Valérie. Language please. Jean-Marc might hear," interrupts François. "You know he's in the next room waiting to be briefed."
"Oh I don't give a rat's arse about Jean-Marc," replies the woman who has a gift not only with the written, but also the spoken word.
"He's just as much of a wimp as you are. In fact that whole bloody government of dimwits you've cobbled together is band of wusses. The only one who's got any balls worth speaking about is Martine, and you, YOU, were too frightened to include her."
The minister of jealousy was on her habitual early morning roll and François knew better than to try to interject.
"Cowards, spineless weaklings, chickens - that's what your government is," says the woman who had clearly been at the thesaurus again."
"I mean just look at the way the whole lot of you virtually pooped your pants when I sent the Tweet in support of that fool Farlorni," she continues.
"And here you go again sucking up to HER as though she has any sort of role to play in politics. And why? I'll tell you why...."
François sighs.
Just a few months in office has taught him this is the best way to deal with the daily diatribe he has to endure before getting on with the real business of trying to pretend to run the country.
He knows she can't help herself. She's a woman of character after all; one who has perfected the art of the poisoned pen 21st-century style, whose talents as a writer go largely ignored even though she has flair and style in huge measure. He muses in wonderment at her most recent œuvre, 'François Hollande President; 400 jours dans les coulisses d'une victoire'.
"Yes those photos were all right. But the accompanying text, written by Valérie's fair hand...well it was simply magnificent," he thinks to himself.
He can't for the life of him work out why it's not selling well and he understands her frustration.
"Ah yes," he thinks. "That's the problem with strong women. They constantly need challenges and are so easily riled when things don't go quite how they expect. If only she wouldn't take things so seriously or personally. Maybe she should stop trying to put on a false front of pursuing a profession and get on with some real first lady like charity work," he ponders.
"Oh, oh. I had better not even think those thoughts - very politically incorrect. I would be in for a real dressing down if she knew what was going through my mind..."
"...And then to top it all, the children turned around and said they didn't want to see me. You know who turned them against me, don't you?" Valérie takes a sip of her coffee.
"Well, don't you?" she pauses
FRANçOIS!" roars the minster of jealousy.
"Yes dear?"
"You haven't been listening to a word I've been saying. That's just so typical. Well sod it. And sod HER."
And with that the country's first journalist stands up, flings her napkin on the table and storms out of the room, shouting as she goes, "And if you think I'm going to stick around for lunch with HER and the rest of them...think again."
BANG, as the door slams shut behind her.
"Er - darling....do you mind if I finish your croissant?" mumbles François into thin air.
Yes, Wednesday saw the first meet and greet session at the Elysée palace between François Hollande and the presidents of all 26 regional councils, including of course the president of Poitou-Charente - a certain Ségolène Royal.
It was her first political appearance since being humiliated in the national assembly elections back in June and journalists were on hand of course to mark the occasion as a smiling Seggers wearing a "flashy orange jacket in a sea of grey" (as she was described) found herself again the centre of attention.
And Valérie Trierweiler? Well, she had excused herself from the proceedings.
The Socialist party had its annual summer do - sorry, conference - over the weekend at La Rochelle in the western French département of Charente-Maritime.
Activists mingled with the "good the bad and the (ahem) ugly" of a party which holds power at just about every level in France.
Everyone who is anyone within the party turned up - well with two notable exceptions; François Hollande, because he's now "above" these sorts of things and...Ségolène Royal, who decided to give the place where she was electorally humiliated (again) back in June, a wide berth.
There again, Seggers had already put in a guest star appearance at the Green party's summer bash - sorry, conference - in Poitiers the week before.
So the Great and Glorious - minus the Two - were present to give themselves a collective pat on the back for all their electoral success and pay homage to the woman who had engineered victory, Martine Aubry.
Martine Aubry (screenshot Europe 1 interview)
We know that because she said as much.
"Back in 2009, here in La Rochelle, I outlined a 'road map' (don't you just love that expression?) for the future of the party," she told an attentive audience - all the more so because those present wanted to know whether she was going to stand down as leader and, if so, to whom she would give her blessing (Amen) as her successor.
More on that in a moment.
"That included being more aware of society's needs, doing away with the multiple mandates, gender diversity, the primaries and how best to get rid of that eternal pain, Seggers (all right, she didn't say that last bit, but she might just as well have done)."
Ah yes. as Libérationwrote, Aubry was able to bask in the party's success due in no small measure, as far as she was concerned, to her own leadership.
All Hail Martine!
So now what?
Well, with bated (or baited, if you must) breath everyone waited to hear whether she would officially announce she wasn't going to stand again for the post at (yet another of) the party's conference in Toulouse in October.
She didn't.
Apparently everyone knows she's not going to run again, but nobody seems to have told Aubry. Or rather Aubry seems to have told nobody.
Er.
Well that's leadership for you. Keep everyone guessing right up until the last moment.
So what of the pretenders to the throne?
Well there are two of them.
First up is the wonderfully named Harlem Désir. No, not as in the dreadful 1980s single "Harlem Desire" from the British-German dance pop duo London Boys, (click on the link, if you dare, to discover just how awful it was) but the former president of the French anti-racist organisation, SOS Racisme, member of the European parliament and the party's number two.
Désir would be the obvious choice especially as he took over the leadership temporarily when Aubry took the plunge and contested the party's primaries for this year's presidential elections, losing out in the second round head-to-head against Hollande (just in case you had forgotten).
Plus the 52-year-old is believed to have Hollande's backing.
But of course this is politics - and France is no different from any other country in having its fair share of intrigue and shrewd plotting.
Enter Jean-Christophe Cambadélis - or "Camba" as he has apparently been dubbed by Aubry - a former right-hand (or should that be left-hand) man to none other than Dominique Strauss-Kahn, whose shoes Aubry so reluctantly tried to fill in those very same primaries.
Both men were spotted at La Rochelle showing their full support for Aubry - naturally, but "Camba" was a little less subtle about it, cosying up even more closely to her supporters and earning the status of "friend" from another Aubry crony, Claude Bartolone, the president of the national assembly.
So Désir or Camba? Which of the two will it be should Aubry decide to step down?
Oh what a tough one.
Cue London Boys?
You have been warned
Just imagine the behind-the-scenes power Aubry could wield with Bartolone already perched at the national assembly and Camba installed as party leader.
So Auntie Barrmy, the perhaps soon-to-be former leader of the Socialist party was on her hols bumbling around the house minding her own business and thinking about how useful spanners could be - politically speaking - when the 'phone rang.
"Oui. Here is the perhaps soon-to-be former leader of the Socialist party and still mightily peeved prime minister-in-waiting. Who's calling please?" she purred down the 'phone, as was her usual fashion
"Hi Auntie. It's me," squeaked a voice from the other end. "Nasal Vellum, France's minister of the interior (yes you can tell Socialist party members are quickly getting used to their own self importance since adding a majority in the National Assembly elections to that in the Senate, a presidency and a government). I thought I would give you a tinkle just to let you know what I've been up to."
"Thank you Nasal," replied Auntie frostily.
"Where are you today?" she asked through gritted teeth, well aware that since assuming office, Nasal had looked towards one of his infamous Kärcher-cleaning predecessors as a media mentor and was pretty much omnipresent.
Auntie might have been on holiday, but she still read the newspapers and watched TV.
"Well Auntie," he hesitated.
"I've been hither and thither, no time for a break you know. What with my being France's Number One copper, I haven't had a moment to myself. Places to go. People to see. Things to do," he continued.
"Avignon, Marseille, Vars, Villiers-le-Bel, Amiens. Pick a place - any place in France - and I've been there.
"Lille?" hissed Auntie.
"Ah yes Lille...er...I've been meaning to talk to you about that."
At this point it might be worth mentioning that not only is Auntie the perhaps soon-to-be former leader of the Socialist party and prime minister-in-waiting, she has also been the mayor of Lille since 2001.
"Well I was there in July after the shootings outside a discotheque, as you know," began a clearly flustered Nasal.
"Yes I'm aware of that," came the sharp response.
"You met me too."
"Um...yes. Quite."
There was a pause.
Silence, broken only by the sound of Auntie grinding her teeth.
"THE CAMPS," she blasted down the 'phone.
"What the (expression deleted to avoid offending those of a sensitive disposition) do you think you've been up totearing down Roma camps without telling me first what you were planning?"
"You're as big a fool as that idiot Kärcher-cleaning halfwit," she thundered.
"You know how angry I was after he gave that Grenoble speech in 2010 when he clearly stirred up hatred against the Roma. And you know how I've done everything in my power to ensure they are welcomed as humanely as possible here IN LILLE. I've set up three villages d’insertion and there are another three being built," continued Auntie.
"What have you done? And how come I had to learn what had happened from the media?"
Nasal had expected such an outburst, and he was used to it. After all he knew he was far from being Auntie's favourite aspiring president.
The two of them had come to blows in the past especially as Nasal had served as a faithful lieutenant to one of Auntie's arch enemies - Seggers, in her failed 2007 presidential bid.
And he had thrown his weight behind François Hollande after being knocked out of the Socialist primaries to choose the party's presidential candidate this year.
Hollande, you might remember, went head to head with none other than Auntie in the second round.
So Nasal did what any sensible politician with would do ... he waffled.
"Respect for human dignity is a constant imperative of all public action, but the difficulties and local health risks posed by the unsanitary camps needed to be addressed," said Nasal, quoting his own ministry's official statement.
"In no case did the removals take the form of collective expulsion, which is forbidden by law."
"NASAL. YOU FOOL. YOU SOUND JUST LIKE THE KÄRCHER DOLT," shouted Auntie.
"How do you think the whole thing makes me look and what am I going to say to the media?
Nasal thought a few moments before replying...but that dear reader is where we'll have to leave the two of them for now.
Because, as the French media is reporting, the perhaps soon-to-be former leader of the Socialist party and prime minister-in-waiting is expected to give her official response to Nasal's decision to dismantle two makeshift Roma camps near Lille some time this week.
How exactly she'll manage to make it look as though she's not in complete disagreement with the manner in which the camps were closed will be a monumental feat.
But as a seasoned and more than competent politician, she should be well up to the task.
In the meantime, Nasal isn't at all concerned apparently, insisting that everything is more or less hunky dory between the two of them.
Friends?
Well maybe not quite.
Which of course provides the excuse for a song - as if one were needed - with, among others, the sublime Gladys.
It was probably too good to last; the self-declared "normal" presidency of François Hollande.
He, his party and France have now been treated to the sort of celebrity-cum-politics behaviour reminiscent of the days of his predecessor Nicolas Sarkozy.
And it's largely thanks to Hollande's partner, Valérie Trierweiler.
While the leader of the Socialist party, Martine Aubry, was on a "Save Ségolène Royal" mission to help the party's chosen candidate in her battle to win a seat in the second round of parliamentary elections, Trierweiler was putting her best stiletto heel foot forward and in the process carving out a new role for herself.
Trierweiler Tweeted (or should that be Twat) a message of support - for Olivier Falorni, the man running against Royal.
He has been a long-time Hollande supporter, even apparently at a time when it wasn't particularly fashionable, and as a loyal and experienced "man on the ground" had expected to be the party's candidate in the safe constituency of La Rochelle in the département of Charente-Maritime.
But the party decided differently, parachuting in Royal to contest the seat which would be the first step towards her eventually playing an important role and one she covets, as the president of the national assembly.
Farlorni, who's no fan of Royal, refused to withdraw his candidature, was suspended by the party and was only narrowly beaten in last Sunday's first round.
He's staying in the race for next weekend's second round and presents a real threat to Royal's ambitions.
Enter stage left, the non-elected "minister of jealousy", Valerie Trierweiler, with a Tweet in which she wished Forloni "bon courage" and recognised his "years of selfless commitment (to the party)."
Just 146 not-so-innocent characters guaranteed to have an impact as the Socialist party was left jaw-to-floor, the centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) enjoyed the distraction from its own problems and the media - well, went wild with a story in an otherwise rather - er - dull election campaign.
So why did she do it?
Why did Trierweiler send that message of support using a social network knowing full well that it would be out there for everyone and anyone to read?
After all she's an experienced journalist, knows what she's doing, and is far - very far - from being daft.
Maybe, after all, there's something in that headline in L'Express and Trierweiler, even though she's now first lady, still resents Royal, the woman who was Hollande's partner for 30 years and with whom he had four children.
Jealousy - really?
Why not?
Trierweiler is on record as saying she didn't vote for Royal in the first round of the 2007 presidential elections and abstained in the second.
After reading in Paris Match - the magazine for which she writes - a piece on Thomas Hollande in which he was described as the oldest child of the "couple Royal-Hollande", Trierweiler sent her colleague a terse text message saying "The ex-couple Royal-Hollande. What are you playing at?"
And that moment at the victory celebrations at Place de la Bastille in Paris after Hollande had beaten Sarkozy in last month's presidential elections was surely a sign of what was to come.
Did you notice it? Trierweiler - and many others - certainly did: Hollande giving Royal a peck on the cheek.
How did she react? With an "order" so easy to read from her lips that Hollande kiss her on the mouth - now - in front of everyone.
The "Nicolas and Carla" show might no longer be centre stage as far as the celebrity gossip magazines and certain sectors of the mainstream media are concerned, but it looks as though a worthy replacement has been found, albeit so far, just a one-woman show.
Well that was an interesting weekend politically-speaking after the French went to the polls in the first round of the parliamentary elections, wasn't it?
No?
Oh all right then - predictable and tedious perhaps although it threw up a few fascinating results here and there.
And let's face it, TV and radio did their best to make a show of it, clearing their schedules and inviting all the usual suspects to comment and analyse.
Perhaps it wasn't quite the "triumph" for the Socialist party as suggested by an early headline on the BBC (thankfully it was changed to reflect better the actual outcome with a more measured "Socialists and allies win first round") but it was at least a promise of a reasonable working majority - either with or without Leftist partners after the second round of voting next Sunday.
In reality the biggest winner on the day was, as pointed out by many political pundits, the abstention rate.
Only 57.23 per cent of the country's 46 million voters turned out to cast their ballots. Or put another way, 42.77 per cent couldn't be bothered - a record for the fifth republic.
And although it might not seem so important, with France's complicated process of calculating which candidates can make it through to the second round, a number of them didn't make the required cut - even though at first sight they scored pretty high on the day.
Most of the government ministers who took the risk of standing - remember they didn't have to, but if they did and lost then they would be out on their ears - did pretty well.
Six of the 25 who stood were elected in the first round, among them big hitters prime minister Jean-Marc Ayrault and foreign minister Laurent Fabius.
A clutch of others should have no problem in the second-round run off including those considered to have taken the biggest risk: the minister of agriculture Stéphane Le Foll, and the culture minister, Aurélie Filippetti.
There could be one casualty after the second round though, in the shape of the minister for the disabled, Marie-Arlette Carlotti.
Some "personalities" from across the political spectrum came a cropper, most notably perhaps the former junior minister for human rights and later when that post was scrapped, junior minister for sport, Rama Yade.
She didn't make it through to the second round in the constituency in which she was standing in the suburbs of Paris.
Yade, who was one of the three high-profile ethnic minority figures in Nicolas Sarkozy's first government now finds herself in a political wilderness of sorts, but at 36 is young and certainly talented enough to bounce back quickly.
The same cannot be said for François Bayrou. The leader of the Centrist party Mouvement démocrate (MoDem) has been a member of parliament for "his" Pyrénées-Atlantiques constituency (described as his "fiefdom" - so very typical of French politics) for donkeys years (well since 1988, when it was created).
But the multi-presidential candidate (three times so far) is in serious danger of losing out to the Socialist party's Nathalie Chabanne in the second round. Clearly Bayrou's gesture of openly declaring he would vote for François Hollande in the presidential run-off against Sarkozy is having its impact - and not in the way Bayrou would want.
And then there's Seggers - or Ségolène Royal if you wish - parachuted into a safe seat only to find herself up against another (more local) Socialist, Olivier Falorni.
He ignored party instructions not to stand and was summarily suspended. But he finished just behind Seggers in the first round, is continuing his prolonged fit of pique (in protest at the practice of candidates being parachuted) and could well cost Royal a seat.
The Socialist party's "Big Guns" including - figure this - Martine Aubrey - are rallying behind Seggers, proving there's nowt so peculiar or erratic as a politician.
It's a similar story for former interior minister Claude Guéant.
He too has been parachuted into a safe seat - this time in the Paris suburbs - for the centre-right Union pour un mouvement populaire (Union for a popular movement, UMP).
Just like Seggers, Guéant finds himself up against someone (Thierry Solère) from his own party who is locally-based and who's refusing to follow orders.
Finally in this briefest of brief looks (which is decidedly longer than intended) there was the much-publicised but ultimately flat duel between the two extremes in a constituency in the north of France: far-left leader Jean-Luc Mélenchon taking on far-right leader Marine Le Pen.
The two had of course traded verbal punches - or not, as one refused to debate directly with the other - in this year's presidential campaign for which they were both candidates.
On Sunday, Mélenchon failed to make it through to the second round, blaming everyone but himself in the process while Le Pen finished first and is still in with a shout (as far as she's concerned) of winning the seat.
Should she pull it off, she might not be the only member of the Front National - or the only Le Pen come to that - in the new parliament.
Gilbert Collard in one of the constituencies in the département of Gard in southern France, is well-placed to win his seat, especially if his UMP opponent, Etienne Mourrut pulls out of the three-way race (with the Socialist party's Katy Guyot).
No hesitation though for the Socialist party in one of the constituencies in the neighbouring département of Vaucluse.
It has withdrawn its candidate from the second round to allow the UMP contender to go head-to-head with a certain Marion Maréchal-Le Pen, yes the 22-year-old niece of Marine and granddaughter of Jean-Marie.
Maybe the most interesting outcome of the first round though is the possibility that the Front National stands a real chance of winning seats.
There might not be nearly as many as there were in 1986 when the party won 35 seats under the (thankfully) short-lived system of proportional representation introduced (for very political reasons of course) for the parliamentary elections by the then-president François Mitterrand.
But winning a handful of seats under the French system of first past the post would give the Front National the political credibility it craves and demands.
Little wonder then that Le Pen (Marine that is) is targeting some high profile UMP candidates by urging FN voters to "go Socialist" in a manner of speaking.
Perhaps though an event in that very constituency where Mélenchon and Le Pen did battle last weekend best reflects the first round results or at least how many French might feel about them.
It was the fate of one of the other candidates - there were 14 of them - standing in that constituency, Daniel Cucchiaro.
An independent ecologist (always a bad sign), Cucchiaro finished last; no shame in that as someone has to.
It was the style in which he did it though - winning zero per cent of ballots cast because...well...nobody had voted for him.
Fed up with the centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) trying to justify their past five years in power (well actually more like 10 if the governments of the previous president Jacques Chirac are included with prime ministers Jean-Pierre Raffarin 2002-2005 and Dominique de Villepin 2005-2007. Funny how little mention is made of that) admitting to some errors but basically blaming the global economy, immigrants, or the 35-hour working week (among other things) for the country's woes.
Whoa, a sentence without end...spot the influence of French.
Or the Socialist party accusing the UMP of rightwing tendencies, pandering to a potential far-right Front National electorate and forgetting that running a country isn't the same as running a business; government has a social responsibility too.
Well guess what. You're probably not alone.
Even politicians - well some of them at least - would appear to have had their fill.
Take a look at this clip from Thursday's edition of the excellent Des paroles et des actes on France 2 television.
The prime minister François Fillon was going jaw-to-jaw with the leader of the Socialist party, Martine Aubry.
It was of course, "Yadda, yadda, yadda this" and "Blah, blah, blah, that" as the pair failed to listen to one another, agree on common ground or solutions to problems that were naturally not of their making.
A jolly good time was had by one and all: at home in front of the small screen and in the audience.
But wait a mo'.
Who's that, thankfully not in the front row, but still captured briefly by the cameras at 23 seconds appearing to catch a few moments shut eye.
Could it be?
Surely not!
Yes it is.
None other than Gérard Larcher a high-ranking UMP politician and until October 2011 the president of the Senate.
Oops.
Bored? Tired? Dozing? Texting? Consulting notes?
Whatever the case, he couldn't have been paying attention. Or could he?
So the talking's over and the first round of voting is scheduled for this Sunday.
Yep, it's the Socialist party primaries, open to anyone - as long as they're a French citizen of course - who's on the electoral register, willing to cough up €1 and sign a pledge "recognising the values of the Left".
Socialist party primaries - televised debate (screenshot BFM TV)
Anyone interested in French politics will surely have found the three separate televised debates between the six candidates an interesting and possibly stimulating exercise; getting to know them, where they stand, what differentiates them from one another and so on.
What's more, they all managed to behave in a reasonable manner (for politicians) foregoing the backstabbing that was so prevalent in 2007 and appearing, on the surface at least, to be cordial.
Heck even the country's prime minister, François Fillon, seemed to have been impressed, maybe wishing that the centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire, had someone else to offer (namely himself) other than the incumbent.
Fillon certainly seems to think it's the way forward in future elections.
Anyway, here's a very short and totally unbiased (ha ha) rundown of the six contenders.
Who knows.
One of them might well be a name you'll have to learn to get to know after May 2012.
François Hollande - widely admired among journalists (oh well, that's all right then) and apparently bright with a great sense of humour. Did nothing for a decade as leader of the party - except help Lionel Jospin and (his then-partner) Ségolène Royal lose in their respective presidential campaigns. One factor in his favour - Fadela Amara is (or at least was) a fan.
Martine Aubry - along with Hollande is the other favourite to make it through to the second round run-off. Seen by some (many) as a stand-in for Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Popular among party activists (apparently) although her election as leader was rather contested. Perhaps it's her destiny to fulfil what her father (Jacques Delors) ducked out of doing.
Manuel Valls - too young (48) born in Barcelona (Ahem, the French seem to have no problem with a foreign-born candidate) too Blairish probably but clearly gunning for the interior ministry should the Socialist party win next year's presidential elections.
Arnaud Montebourg - similarly too young (48) and too radical. Big on anti-globalisation, very principled but probably too far to the Left to have a mass appeal.
Jean-Michel Baylet - very pro-Europe, level-headed and seems to speak a lot of sense, but an outsider - so much so that the Beeb doesn't even have a profile of him on its short description of the six-strong field.
Which leaves Ségolène Royal. Gotta love her. She's a political animal through and through and in touch with "the people" (well so she keeps insisting). Appears bonkers at times, but always, at least...er entertaining. Maybe that's the best the French can wish or hope for from her.
The expected run-off on Sunday week will be between those finishing first and second this weekend.
The arrest and detention of the head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, or DSK as he's more commonly known in France, on charges of alleged sexual assault have made the headlines around the world over the past few days.
But perhaps the one image that those in France have found most difficult to accept is that of the "man who would be president" being handcuffed.
The image that shocked many French (screenshot from BFM TV)
In France, what happened - or didn't happen - on Sunday in New York has of course been major news; DSK was the front-runner in the Socialist party's primary to choose its candidate for next year's presidential election.
Even though he hadn't officially declared his intention to run, everyone knew he would when he decided the time was right.
Since Sunday the Socialist party has been thrown into headless chicken mode wondering how to cope with the accusations.
Its leader, Martine Aubry, had reportedly agreed not to stand in the primary, leaving the way clear for DSK.
Now though she is having to rethink her position, keep the party focused on it policies and manage the upcoming presidential campaign while all the time insisting that everyone in the party is profoundly shocked by the allegations.
The governing centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) has on the whole been pretty reticent at drawing any conclusions or pointing the finger, declaring that the "presumption of innocence" must take precedence.
And even though the French president has called for "dignity" and requested government ministers from commenting publicly, there have been a few dissenting voices within his party.
UMP, parliamentarian Bernard Debré didn't mince his words when questioned by Europe 1 radio shortly after news broke of DSK's arrest.
"It's humiliating for France to have a man like that who wallows in sex and has done for some time as everyone knows," he said.
"Of course there's the presumption of innocence, but he is a disreputable man."
Not surprisingly Marine Le Pen, the leader of the far-right Front National took up the theme that many surrounding DSK knew of his behaviour and reputation towards women.
"The truth is that both politicians and journalists have been talking for the past couple of months about Strauss-Kahn's almost 'pathological' relations over the years with women," she told RTL radio.
"He has been definitively discredited as a potential presidential candidate."
French politicians and French society simply hasn't known how to handle what has been reported and the media hasn't made life easier.
It's borrowing courtroom images from the United States - something that simply wouldn't happen in the French judicial system - and happily - if that's the appropriate word - running them in endless loops on the country's many all-news channels.
Legal experts, political colleagues and opponents, friends, associates, pyscho-analysts - you name it - they've all be dragged in front of the cameras and asked for their opinions.
But perhaps the most shocking thing - and there are more than enough elements in the whole affair to shock - to many in France has been the sight of DSK appearing in handcuffs.
Remember this is a man who until the weekend looked as though he could well be the next French president.
This time next year he could have been in office and forming his first government.
Seeing pictures and clips of him in handcuffs seems to have hurt profoundly many French already embarrassed by the unsavoury way in which the equally sordid affair has been reported.
What's more there's actually a law in France - the Guigou law from 2000 - to protect an individual's "presumption of innocence by forbidding the dissemination of any image of a person in handcuffs - before he or she has been found guilty.
Whatever was France's interior minister Claude Guéant thinking about when he said during an interview on Monday of the French president Nicolas Sarkozy's role in Libya that, "Fortunately, the president has been leading the crusade to mobilise the UN security council, the Arab League and the African Union."
France's interior minister Claude Guéant (screenshot from interview)
Yes "crusade". That's the term he used. Not exactly one lacking historical connotations as many in France have been quick to point out.
Even though he has since admitted that, "With hindsight I should have expressed myself differently and said perhaps that the president had 'mobilised public opinion to present persuading arguments to the security council'," the damage had been done and the word was out there for all to read and hear.
"Scary," is how the leader of the opposition Socialist party Martine Aubry described Guéant's choice of word.
"He would have done better to have kept quiet," said Aubry's predecessor and likely candidate for the party's presidential primaries, François Hollande.
"It was more than unfortunate, it was a word he shouldn't have uttered."
Even some within his party, the governing centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement,UMP) were hard-pressed to defend Guéant's choice of word with the foreign minister Alain Juppé describing it quite clearly as a "blunder" and "one that had nothing to do with what was happening (in Libya)."
But was it really just an "unfortunate" term and an example of a man not used to the political limelight. Or is there something more sinister going on?
At face value Guéant certainly appears to be "like a bull in a china shop," as Le Point journalist Anna Cabana described the interior minister during her piece on national public radio France Inter on Wednesday morning.
Less than a month into the job and he has already managed to tell the country not only that Sarkozy has "led the crusade" but also that the "French don't feel at home in France".
Guéant though is no political beginner as Cabana makes clear. He has served for the past nine years as one of Sarkozy's closest political advisors and his views and thoughts must be well known to the French president.
Sure he has now stepped out of the shadows and is busy proving himself to be every bit as crass in his statements as his predecessor in the job and another Sarkozy crony, Brice Hortefeux (whose 2009 racial slur against Amine Benalia-Brouch, a young party activist of Algerian origin, still sticks in the craw).
But is this really just inexperience at play or a deliberate strategy by Sarkozy in the run-up to next year's presidential elections.
Has Guéant in fact been placed intentionally in the hot seat to try to appeal to voters who might otherwise drift towards the far-right Front National.
Remember its leader, Marine Le Pen, is currently buoyed by opinion polls that show her as a serious threat to Sarkozy's chances of making it through to the second round of voting in those elections.
Can Guéant really be the fool his statements appear to suggest. Is he just naïve when it comes to being in the public eye?
Watch this space for answers.
At this rate Guéant is not going to leave it blank for very long.
Marine Le Pen, the leader of the far-right Front National (FN) in France has jokingly offered the recently-appointed French interior minister, Claude Guéant, honorary membership of her party.
She was reacting to a comment he made on national radio last Thursday morning in which he suggested that the French were becoming worried about not feeling at home in their own country.
French interior minister Claude Guéant (screenshot from Europe 1 interview)
He has only been in the job since the end of February, but already the French interior minister Claude Guéant has well and truly made his mark on where he stands in terms of statements guaranteed to raise the heckles of the opposition Socialist party and promote claims that the political agenda in France is increasingly being dictated the FN.
Interviewed on Europe 1 radio on Thursday, Claude Guéant uttered a sentence which annoyed many in the opposition Socialist party, worried some in his own centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) party and amused the leader of the far-right Front National, Marine Le Pen.
The phrase came as he was being asked about an interview he had given the national daily Le Monde published in Thursday's edition in which he had said, "The French want France to remain France."
"What exactly did you mean by that?" he was asked by Europe 1's seasoned political journalist Jean-Pierre Elkabbach.
"It means quite simply that the French - because of uncontrolled immigration - sometimes have the feeling that they're no longer at home," he said.
And then continued, "They see practices and customs imposed on them and which do not necessarily match the rules of our way of life."
It was a comment that brought a swift reaction from the leader of the Socialist party, Martine Aubry, who accused the interior minister of "mocking the values of the republic " by "speaking about the risks of 'uncontrolled immigration'."
The prime minister, François Fillion, meanwhile avoided being drawn on Guéant's comments.
"I don't attach too much importance to a turn of phrase, " he said in an interview on France 2's prime time evening news later in the day, insisting that illegal immigration was an issue the government was addressing because it "prevented integration and infuriated citizens,"
If Fillon preferred not to respond there were others within his party more than willing to air their opinions and demonstrating at the same time, divisions that exist.
"It's intolerable and illustrates that there's a 'Le Pen-isation'among some in power," said UMP parliamentarian Jean-Pierre Grand from the southern French city of Montpellier.
While for his colleague Eric Ciotti from the southeastern city of Nice, what Guéant had said had "a certain ring of truth and represented what many people are saying in our town, cities and villages."
And Le Pen in all of this? Well she toldLCI television - not without some irony - that Guéant could be, "An honorary member of the Front National" before going into attack mode and challenging the interior minister to say what exactly the government was going to do about the "threat of increased illegal immigration."
How refreshing to hear a politician apparently telling the truth, no matter how unintentional it might be.
Amid the political comings and goings in France over the weekend and the reactions there have been to Sunday's decision by the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, to reshuffle his government, came a moment of light relief.
It was, in itself, telling of the still-confused state of the opposition Socialist party and came in the form of a slip of the tongue - for which the media is notoriously unforgiving - from its leader Martine Aubry.
It had absolutely nothing to do with the events that were to unfold later in the day - the resignation of France's "beleaguered" foreign minister Michèle Alliot-Marie and the announcement by the president, Nicolas Sarkozy, of a government reshuffle.
Martine Aubry's "vague-vast" moment (screenshot France 2)
But to those watching Aubry as a guest at the end of the lunchtime news on France 2 television, it can only have brought a smile to the face - and a knowing nod that her "lapsus linguae" probably wasn't too far off the mark.
Aubry was talking about some of the propositions being put forward to form the party's official programme during campaigning for the 2012 presidential elections.
She animatedly outlined the broad thrust of what that programme would be, but in her apparent enthusiasm, somehow only managed to confirm what many of the French must surely fear will be the case.
"We want to give all the French the chance to have a say what they think," she said.
"And at the same time they should respect the rules and respect each other," she continued.
'It's an extremely vague...vast...programme and that's the essential thing."
Yes Aubry managed to correct herself in full flow, but the "vague-vast" blooper had left its mark, with one wise wag commenting on the clip which quickly found its way onto the Net that, "The one time she (Aubry) actually tells the truth, she is criticised for doing so."
We wait with bated breath for more details on the Socialist party's vague and vast programme.
An update on the French media's fascination with a potential presidential bid by Dominique Strauss-Kahn in 2012.
The next presidential election here in France might be a little more than over two years away, but that doesn't stop pollsters churning out surveys with seemingly clockwork regularity to "test the tide" of public opinion.
Ah such is the way of politics and punditry it would appear.
The latest one, conducted by CSA for the weekly news magazine Marianne, gives the current head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the edge in a second round head-to-head with the incumbent of the Elysée palace, Nicolas Sarkozy; 52 to 49 per cent.
In contrast the current leader of the Socialist party, Martine Aubry, would lose to Sarkozy in that all-important second round 48-52 percent if she were to be the party's candidate.
So another boost for DSK, as he's more commonly known here, a former finance minister and a man who has already made a run for the top job when he threw his hat into the ring for the Socialist party's nomination to be its candidate in 2007 but lost out in the end to Ségolène Royal.
This latest poll comes hot on the heels of (yet) another one in January which ranked him as the country's most popular political figure.
None of which seems to impress the man very much, even though it might well bring a smile to his face.
The subject of "whether he will" or "whether he won't" is still one he's unwilling to answer directly - even if interviewers try to tease out a response to the inevitable question.
The tone is changing though - and subtly so, as you might perhaps expect as time goes by, those opinion polls keep reflecting positive news (as far as DSK is concerned) and the same questions keep on cropping up.
But this week, speaking on national radio on Thursday (the day before the latest poll), while DSK responded in his usual evasive manner, insisting that he had a job to do, was resolved to see it through to the end of his term in office (Autumn 2012) he also admitted that he might reconsider "under certain circumstances."
"At the moment I fully intend to see out my term until the end of my mandate," he said.
Off to Dhaulagiri
-
The time of year has come and I am heading out on expedition again. Since
having summited Cho Oyu in autumn 2016, I have not attempted an 8,000m
peak, and ...
Slumming it in paradise
-
Every seasonnaire in the Alps, past or present, has a horror story or two
about grotty accommodation. Old chalets so run down that the most
cheapskate of g...
Summer update
-
Here is a summer update. The weather has been quite rainy but the clouds
have been amazing. I got a new camera this week so I have been playing with
it....
12 (“Une douzaine”) restaurant tips . . .
-
*on how to blend in and*
*not to appear too much like a touristin a Paris restaurant . . .(or at
least how to be a good one)*
The following is based on ...
L'hexagone dans le Triangle
-
It's been a while since I have posted to Polly-Vous Francais! I am happy
to report that I am now in the "Triangle" area of North Carolina, where
there is ...
All photos (unless otherwise stated) and text are copyright. No part of this website or any part of the content, copy and images may be reproduced or re-distributed in any format without prior approval. All you need to do is get in touch. Thank you.
Posts
