French Green party's "absurd and immature" decision not to take part in Manuel Valls' government

All right, raise your hand if you understand what the French Greens are playing at.

Speculation is...um...rife (yes it's a cliché but what the heck) as to the composition of the government to be announced by France's brand spanking new prime minister Manuel Valls.

But one thing seems certain. It won't contain any members of the Greens - or the Europe Ecologie-Les Verts (EELV) to give the party its proper name.

When the French president, François Hollande, formally announced on Monday evening (wisely missing the April 1 dateline by a few hours) that he had asked Valls to form a new government, former Green ministers Cécile Duflot and Pascal Canfin (who?) quickly responded by saying they wouldn't accept any position offered.

Canfin even went as far as to say that Duflot had turned down the post of number two in the new government and an important portfolio for reasons of "political coherence" (never the Greens' strong point, as will soon become evident).

But there was still hope that others within the party might see sense. After all the Greens were the (very) junior party in former prime minister Jean-Marc Ayrault's government and could still have had their say in forming policy.

On Tuesday four of the party's big wigs, Emmanuelle Cosse, Jean-Vincent Placé, Barbara Pompili and François de Rugy toddled off to meet Valls and have a good ol' chinwag about the party's possible participation in his new government.

Or not, as it turned out, because it all came to nowt.

After a natter among themselves in the evening, the party's executive office took a vote, deciding, as they announced on the official website, that despite the propositions made by Manuel Valls, the conditions for their participation in his government hadn't been met.

A decision which was both "absurd and immature," as far as Green parliamentarian François-Michel Lambert was concerned.

While for de Rugy, one of the party's co-presidents in the national assembly, it was "incomprehensible decision and a blow for the ecologists."

Jean-Vincent Placé (screenshot BFM TV

It's easy to understand their frustration especially as on Wednesday morning Placé appeared on Jean-Jacques Bourdin's show on BFM TV to confirm that "no member of the party would be included in the new government, not even in an independent capacity" even though during Tuesday's talks Valls had offered the post of...wait for it...minister of the ecology, environment and energy.

Oh well. That makes perfect sense...to a member of the French Green party.

"Lurn" French with the Front National

Hands up those of you out there who are literally word perfect when it comes to writing.

You never, ever make a mistake of any kind. Your grammar, spelling and the "Eats, shoots and leaves" of punctuation" are all irreproachable.

For those mere mortals among us, all too often errors creep in.

Usually it don't matter none, because others will perhaps not even spot the mistake or, if they do, will be indulgent.

Thankfully for some of us working in fields where it's important to get it right (for fear of giving the wrong impression), there is often a safety net available in the form of a sub-editor or a ruddy good proof reader.

It's a shame - or maybe on second thoughts, perhaps not - that the same cannot be said for the far-right Front National's (FN) candidate in this year's race to be mayor of Paris.

Someone in Wallerand de Saint-Just's team - for that's his name - clearly didn't run the copy for his campaign pledges through spellcheck before sending it off to the printers.

Yes - as an aside - Saint-Just is a man.

Wallerand de Saint-Just (screenshot from YouTube video)

And there you all thought that the race to become the next mayor of Paris was an all-female affair because that's what the (foreign) media has been reporting.

Well it ain't.

Sure both the leading candidates are women.....Anne Hidalgo for the Socialist party and Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet (NKM) for the centre-right Union pour un mouvement populaire (Union for a popular movement, UMP).

And the second round slogfest will undoubtedly be between them.

But the first round is not an all-female affair because both the FN with Saint-Just and the Greens with Christophe Najdovski, are putting up male candidates.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, as trivial as it might be in a political world in which image is so important.

You see Saint-Just wants to protect and promote French - the language that is - as part of his campaign.

It's apparently not just a desire to keep at bay all those nasty and devilish foreign (English) words wot keep spoiling la langue de Molière.

No, it's also a wish to promote French, especially in the Paris which "as the country's capital has (paraphrasing) an obligation to show the way."

In other words, Saint-Just wants to "defend" that French language.

Except that's not quite how it came across in the official programme handed out to journalists during a recent press conference.

Because, as you can see from the accompanying screenshot, Saint-Just also appears to be into neoligisms, albeit it cocked-up ones, in wanting to, "défenFre la langue française".

"défenFre" (screenshot from Europe 1 report)

Yes, it's clearly a typo and one which is "understandable given that on a French keyboard the "d" and the "f" are next to each other.

But still it raises a chuckle and is a reminder that in Paris at least, where it doesn't stand any chance of winning, the FN can afford to appear suitably amateurish.

Florence Lamblin - Eco Sex toys and money laundering

No the title is not a piece of political faction.

But there again the alleged truth is often stranger than anything that could be dreamt up by a scriptwriter with even the most preposterously imaginative pen.

The deputy mayor of the 13th arrondissement of Paris, Florence Lamblin is back in the news again.

Florence Lamblin (screenshot BFM TV)

You might remember that last weekend Lamblin hit the headlines after being arrested for her alleged involvement in a ring suspected of laundering €40 million of drug money.

The - until-then - little-known (outside of political circles perhaps) Europe Écologie Les Verts - or Green party to the rest of us - politician suddenly found herself a household name as the media and political opponents had a field day "finding her guilty".

There were calls for Lamblin to resign, not only from the opposition but also from the party's presidential candidate this year, Eva Joly and just as importantly perhaps the Socialist mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoë.



Lamblin did just that - sort of - following that time-honoured French political tradition of announcing that she would be, "suspending her activities and political duties until there had been a full investigation into her financial records."

In other words she'll probably be back.

That was last weekend's news and of course the investigation into her alleged involvement is still ongoing.

But when the proverbial "merde" hits the fan for a French politician, you can rely on the weekly satirical newspaper, Le Canard enchaîné, to keep everyone entertained with a slightly different angle on matters.

And that's exactly what it did on Wednesday following up on a story that had appeared the day before in the weekly "news" magazine Paris Match, revealing that Lamblin, apart from being a politician, was also a partner in an eco-friendly sex toy website

Sexecolo.com, which for the most peculiar of reasons currently seems to be unavailable, thereby surely missing out on a great marketing opportunity, has as its enticing tag line “pleasure, naturally”.

(screenshot sexecolo.com)

It tells potential buyers, says Paris Match, that ecology should be "fun and not make people feel guilty",  and offers (or should that be in the past tense now?) a range of (amongst other things) "natural massage oils, organic lingerie (the edible variety?) and sex toys free from potentially harmful plastic additives."

Um.

No comment perhaps - but feel free to come up with your own interpretation.

Keep them courteous, please.

Martine Aubry ain't going until she's done

The Socialist party had its annual summer do - sorry, conference - over the weekend at La Rochelle in the western French département of Charente-Maritime.

Activists mingled with the "good the bad and the (ahem) ugly" of a party which holds power at just about every level in France.

Everyone who is anyone within the party turned up - well with two notable exceptions; François Hollande, because he's now "above" these sorts of things and...Ségolène Royal, who decided to give the place where she was electorally humiliated (again) back in June, a wide berth.

There again, Seggers had already put in a guest star appearance at the Green party's summer bash - sorry, conference - in Poitiers the week before.

So the Great and Glorious - minus the Two - were present to give themselves a collective pat on the back for all their electoral success and pay homage to the woman who had engineered victory, Martine Aubry.

Martine Aubry (screenshot Europe 1 interview)

We know that because she said as much.

"Back in 2009, here in La Rochelle, I outlined a 'road map' (don't you just love that expression?) for the future of the party," she told an attentive audience - all the more so because those present wanted to know whether she was going to stand down as leader and, if so, to whom she would give her blessing (Amen) as her successor.

More on that in a moment.

"That included being more aware of society's needs, doing away with the multiple mandates, gender diversity, the primaries and how best to get rid of that eternal pain, Seggers (all right, she didn't say that last bit, but she might just as well have done)."

Ah yes. as Libération wrote, Aubry was able to bask in the party's success due in no small measure, as far as she was concerned, to her own leadership.

All Hail Martine!

So now what?

Well, with bated (or baited, if you must) breath everyone waited to hear whether she would officially announce she wasn't going to stand again for the post at (yet another of) the party's conference in Toulouse in October.

She didn't.

Apparently everyone knows she's not going to run again, but nobody seems to have told Aubry. Or rather Aubry seems to have told nobody.

Er.

Well that's leadership for you. Keep everyone guessing right up until the last moment.

So what of the pretenders to the throne?

Well there are two of them.

First up is the wonderfully named Harlem Désir. No, not as in the dreadful 1980s single "Harlem Desire" from the British-German dance pop duo London Boys, (click on the link, if you dare, to discover just how awful it was) but the former president of the French anti-racist organisation, SOS Racisme, member of the European parliament and the party's number two.

Harlem Désir (from Wikipedia)

Désir would be the obvious choice especially as he took over the leadership temporarily when Aubry took the plunge and contested the party's primaries for this year's presidential elections, losing out in the second round head-to-head against Hollande (just in case you had forgotten).

Plus the 52-year-old is believed to have Hollande's backing.

But of course this is politics - and France is no different from any other country in having its fair share of intrigue and shrewd plotting.

Enter Jean-Christophe Cambadélis - or "Camba" as he has apparently been dubbed by Aubry - a former right-hand (or should that be left-hand) man to none other than Dominique Strauss-Kahn, whose shoes Aubry so reluctantly tried to fill in those very same primaries.

Both men were spotted at La Rochelle showing their full support for Aubry - naturally, but "Camba" was a little less subtle about it, cosying up even more closely to her supporters and earning the status of "friend" from another Aubry crony, Claude Bartolone, the president of the national assembly.

So Désir or Camba? Which of the two will it be should Aubry decide to step down?

Oh what a tough one.

Cue London Boys?


You have been warned



Just imagine the behind-the-scenes power Aubry could wield with Bartolone already perched at the national assembly and Camba installed as party leader.

Spare a thought for Désir.

Roll on Toulouse and the transparent vote.

When will Nadine Morano stop?

French actor and screenwriter François Morel has said what probably many people in this country are thinking - or maybe even wishing - at the moment.

Morel who, in that time-honoured French tradition seems to be able to turn his hand to more than one profession at a time, has a weekly slot, "Le billet de François Morel" on Friday mornings on the French national public radio station France Inter.

It's five minutes during which Morel gives listeners his take on some of the stories that have made the news over the past week in France.

And last Friday it was "no holds barred" as the 52-year-old began his spot by fair laying in to two government ministers; Nora Berra, the junior minister for health, and Nadine Morano, the junior minister responsible for learning and training.

"Shut up Nora Berra," he began his commentary.

"Shut up Nora Berra, who recommended that the homeless stay indoors (during the cold spell)," he continued, just warming up.

"Shut up Nadine Morano, who thinks Eva Joly (the presidential candidate for the snappily-named Europe Écologie Les Verts, EELV or French Green party) has a problem with her accent and her body," he said.

"Nadine Morano has a problem with her brain."

Nadine Morano (screenshot BFM TV/RMC radio interview)

Yep, Morel wasn't mincing his words and in the case of Morano in particular, he probably had good cause.

While the remainder of his spot wandered off into more philosophical matters - not necessarily easy listening while getting ready for work - his opening salvoes surely, had highlighted an essential problem with some government ministers: their inability to think before they speak or publish something.

In the case of Berra it was that isolated, in her words, "error of interpretation" over her recommendation to the homeless to stay inside during the cold weather.

As far as Morano was concerned though, there have been a series of blunders - deliberate or unintentional - which make her governmental credentials almost Benny Hill-esque.

The list runs from telling "young Muslims in France that they should dress properly, find a job and stop speaking slang" to confusing "Renault" the car manufacturer with "Renaud" the singer during an early morning interview on Canal +.

And everything in between.

It would be fair to say that not a week seems to go by without Morano boldy putting her tootsie well and truly where no foot has dared to tread - in her mouth.

Last week she added to them by not only criticising Joly's accent (she was born in Norway just in case you didn't know, and first moved to France in her late teens) but also her look.

While busy "explaining" her most recent "misunderstood" gaffe, the 48-year-old then went on to score another own goal.

It happened after the inveterate Tweeter and texter sent an SMS to former government minister and current mayor of Nice in which she reportedly warned him about the prime minister, François Fillon, writing (you do the translation), "Attention Christian, Fillon te chie dans les bottes."

Only she apparently hit the wrong button when sending it, and the recipient was...er Fillon rather than Estrosi.

So perhaps Morel really was speaking for many French when he colourfully told Morano to...well, you know.