Rachida Dati’s “fascist, thug” 2013 text message to Brice Hortefeux

Well, it’s quite a while since either of these two French politicians has made the headlines.

But hey, here they are. Rachida Dati and Brice Hortefeux.

And what a handbags at dawn session they must have had when they were both frontline government ministers.

That’s if the text message sent by Dati to Hortefeux a couple of years ago (but revealed last week) is anything to go by.

It shows just how loving, friendly and understanding members of the same party and government can be towards each other.

Rachida Dati's text message to Brice Hortefeux (screenshot Mediapart's tweet)

Set the scene.

It’s September 2013.

And the former justice minister and current member of the European parliament and mayor of the seventh arrondissement of Paris (yes, wearing two political hats simultaneously - a very French tradition), Rachida Dati, whips of a text message to (take a deep breath…at least there’s some punctuation to allow you to respire while you’re reading) Brice Hortefeux, former interior minister and employment minister and also a current member of the European parliament and a councillor (and second vice president no less) for the recently-created region of Auvergne-Rhône-Alpes .

The two protagonists - both close to former (there’s evidently a lot this “pastness” going around) president (and wanna-do-it-all-over-again hopeful) Nicolas Sarkozy - clearly had what could be termed (politely) a “strained” relationship.

That’s going on the evidence of Dati’s SMS.

Rachida Dati (screenshot BFM TV September 2016)

The tone is set from the very opening words by Dati greeting Hortefeux with,“Salut le facho”!

And then continuing with a barrage of menaces such as revealing “the cash he had been given for a number of meetings involving Sarkozy without specifying what the money had been used for” and his “illegal employment of his wife at the European parliament”.

“Tu me fous la paix” (you can translate that for yourselves on one of the many online services, but it basically means “stop messing around with me” - but in a far more vulgar manner), Dati ends with a flourish, calling Hortefeux a “thug” and threatening once again that she won’t be fooled with.

Phew.

Thanks Mediapart - a French online investigative and opinion journal - for sharing that apparently “private” email with us. Good work.

And the reason for Dati’s vitriol? Apart from the fact that the former ministers clearly didn’t get along.

Well, once again, according to Mediapart, it was because she had got wind of Hortefeux’s  suggestion that her “air and border police privileges be stopped”.

Behind the scene advisers apparently managed to calm the two (mainly Dati) and the incident is now no longer either wants to remember…with Hortefeux admitting on BFM TV that “relations with his former government colleagues had been difficult at times, but the page had now be turned.”

For the moment?

Christine Boutin’s latest Twitter gaffe - lacking dignity and class

You know some people (politicians in particular) should not be allowed anywhere near a microphone. It only encourages them to utter the most absurd ideas in the mistaken belief that they’re making sense.

Similarly they should think twice - nay thrice - before allowing themselves to share the benefit of their “thoughts” on social media platforms.

Nadine Morano springs to mind. A classic example of someone who’s “good” for a soundbite although many would probably wish she were less of a buffoon.

And then there’s Christine Boutin.

Sigh.

Another “serial offender”.

(caricature of) Christine Boutin “La vache qui prie” - although there’s none of the “tendrement conne” in her latest Tweet (screenshot from Canal + Le Grand Journal video, February, 2016).

Yes, the ex-housing minister and founder and former president of the Christian Democratic Party, well-known for her opposition to civil partnership (for two men or two women) and same-sex marriage (and currently appealing a fine for having said that homosexuality was an “abomination”) has taken to the Twittersphere with her usual “panache”.

This time around though, there’s none of the eye-rolling “here she goes again” reaction. Rather she has committed what many consider to be a monumentally offensive gaffe.

As you might know the former French president, Jacques Chirac, has been hospitalised.

The 83-year-old reportedly has a lung infection, the most recent in a series of health scares.

His wife, Bernadette, has also been admitted, suffering from exhaustion.

A number of French politicians, including the front runners for Les Républicains primary Alain Juppé and Nicolas Sarkozy, as well as the current French president, François Hollande, have “expressed their support” for Chirac and his wife.

Enter stage right Boutin, finger-twitching presumably to announce in just three words on Twitter the death of Jacques Chirac - remembering to use the hashtag of course!

And how did she react when faced with the obvious truth that she had got it all wrong (yet again).

By defending herself in claiming that the information had come from “ a reliable source” and that she had shared it because, in her words, “I think the French are waiting for it, as shown by the buzz it has generated.”

Nothing like an apology!

And Boutin’s response was nothing like and apology.

What class.

#ouestsarkozy and #JesuisNico trend after Nicolas Sarkozy's front row appearance at Paris march

Of course it's all a matter of interpretation,

But the French media and social networks have been having a little bit of (harmless) fun at the expense of the former French president, Nicolas Sarkozy.

He was invited, in his capacity as the newly-elected leader of the opposition centre-right Union pour un mouvement populaire (Union for a popular movement, UMP) party to take part in Sunday's rally in Paris.

And, after meeting his successor at the Elysée palace, François Hollande, Sarkozy graciously accepted.

Somehow though, Sarkozy didn't seem happy to play second fiddle - so-to-speak - as he found himself a couple of rows back from the front of the march.

That highly-esteemed position was given to world leaders who had made the trip to Paris to take part in the rally: leaders such as German chancellor Angela Merkel, Mali's president, Ibrahim Boubacar Keïta, Britain's David Cameron, Spain's Mariano Rajoy and Israel's Benjamin Netanyahu

They were all snapped by the world's cameras alongside Hollande.

In total, 44 heads of state or government turned up.

And so too was Sarkozy who, on more than one occasion, managed to worm his way through to the front...where he presumably thought he so rightfully belonged...with his "fellow world leaders".

World leaders - and Nicolas Sarkozy - at the Paris march (screenshot from Europe 1 Dailymotion video)

Such "antics" soon saw Sarkozy ridiculed on the Net with Twitter a-tweet and Tumblr a-Tumblr (well you can't really say awash now, can you?) with photoshopped images of other world events (throughout history) that Sarkozy has "attended."

#JeSuisNico and #ouestsarkozy (a play on the "Where's Wally?" series of children's books which in France are known as "Où est Charlie?") were launched.

And there was Sarkozy alongside Charles de Gaulle after the liberation of Paris in 1944.

On the moon, ahead of Neil Armstrong, in 1969

Present and participating in the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989.

With the French football team as they lifted the World Cup in 1998

And...well you get the picture.

Yes Sarkozy really was an eyewitness to history down the decades.


Nicolas Sarkozy s'impose sur la photo by LeLab_E1

Closer magazine "outs" Front National's Florian Philippot

So a prominent member of the far-right Front National (FN), Florian Philippot, is apparently  gay.

Florian Philippot (screenshot i>Télé interview November 2014)

It's not exactly a secret, although not a story with which the media the rest of the French media has been prepared to run.

Until, that is, the weekly celebrity news and gossip magazine, Closer, decided "to break the silence" by publishing photographs in its latest edition of Philippot and his partner, on a break in Vienna.

Yes, Closer - that bastion of first-rate journalism whose credo seems to be that "scandal and sauciness" are newsworthy and has made its mark by publishing unauthorised long lens photographs, is proving true to its reputation.

Remember back in 2006 those photos of Ségolène Royal clad only in a bikini on a beach?

Or in 2012  the shots of the Duchess of Cambridge, topless while on a private holiday in the south of France?

And more recently the French president, François Hollande, snapped on a scooter as he made his way to a late night liaison with actress Julie Gayet?

Those were all "stories", complete with photographs published by Closer.

The magazine's latest "target", in what it presumably once again hopes will help boost sales, has been the subject of "rumour" for quite a while.

In fact a "gay lobby" within the FN was was suggested by the far-right weekly newspaper Minute in January 2013 when it claimed on its front cover that "le lobby gay s'introduit partout" - the media, all political parties and even the FN.

At the time, Philippot accused the newspaper of "stigmatising homosexuals and spreading rumours".

Such tittle tattle certainly seemed to put the party's leadership at odds with its declared position at the time of being against gay marriage as the bill to make same-sex marriage legal made its way through parliament with accompanying demonstrations of those opposed to the government's proposals.

The party's  leader, Marine Le Pen, said she was against the reform, but left it open to individual members to decide whether they would join the demonstrations.

So it's perhaps not a surprise that Le Pen "defended" Philippot when the news that Closer had outed him.

"This is a very serious violation of individual freedoms.," she told Europe 1 radio.

"This type of behaviour is unacceptable for Florian Philippot just as much as it was for François Hollande.  Private life is sacred."

Le Pen's reaction has been mirrored by other politicians  across the political spectrum and Tweets (what else) of outrage that what was essentially a private matter should, as far as Closer is concerned, be of public interest.

Proof that the real "scandal" is not that Philippot is gay - that's neither relevant to his political ideas nor particularly interesting.

Rather that a magazine such as Closer should be allowed to continue to "sell" based on publication of unauthorised photos.

François Hollande's Kazakh fur hat and coat photo does wonders for his "plonker" image - yet again

The French president, François Hollande, might have a reputation for being an academic egghead  - an alumnus of the prestigious École nationale d'administration (ENA) and all that.

And he's equally well-known for cracking jokes (not always successfully) and (unfortunately) being chronically late for meetings.

But sadly, France's head of state also has a reputation for unintentionally (well, you would hope so) appearing to make a complete and utter pillock of himself - and that's putting it politely - not only with what he says (he masters the slip-of-the-tongue) but how he looks.

The rain fell on Hollande's parade (quite literally) from the very beginning (and has continued to do so with alarming frequency) in terms of his image when he got a real soaking just after being sworn in as president.

In fact, "Rain man" as Hollande has sometimes been unkindly termed, has become something of a standing joke within the media as bad weather just seems to have followed the French president from one official function to another (with the occasional exception of course).

Then there was the time, just a couple of months after being elected, during a state visit to London in July 2012 when Hollande appeared "dwarfed" by a Coldstream Guard (complete with the traditional bearskin of course) while inspecting the Guard of Honour.

A photo which amused many.

And few will forget the unfortunate snap taken by Agence France Presse during Hollande's visit to a school in Denain in northern France in September 2013 which had all the hallmarks of a "gormless grin" with Hollande seeming to "gurn".

You can see all those (and more) by searching through Twitter posts as every one of them quickly became the object of ridicule on the social network.

Just as Hollande's latest "plonker" PR (disaster) picture has.

This time it had him swaddled in a traditional Kazakh fur hat and coat as he posed with the country's president, Nursultan Nazarbayev, during a meeting in Astana last week.

Aie, aie, aie!

What was Hollande thinking of?

François Hollande and Nursultan Nazarbayev (screenshot - i>Télé report)

Where was his communications team? Apparently absent or at least unable to intervene.

But even without them, did he have to make himself look like a complete buffoon?

Yes, it would seem. Hollande had little or no choice and was just doing as previous leaders (such as Barak Obama) had done before him.

Plus, the photograph was taken by Nazarbayev's official photographer and posted on the Kazakh press service's Instagram account before being withdrawn.

Too late. The anger and embarrassment at the Elysée palace was accompanied by another round of online jokes as once again, Hollande became an international laughing stock.

Great PR for the French president and for the country.

Valérie Trierweiler's travails - and the price of fame

She might have written a best-selling warts and all score-settling book, "Merci pour ce moment", published at the beginning of September 2014 and politely described as a "political memoir" but that doesn't seem to have endeared France's former first lady, Valérie Trierweiler, to the nation as a whole.

Valérie Trierweiler  (screenshot BFM TV report on release of "Merci pour ce moment")

Indeed, given a recent poll, she's giving her former partner, the French president, François Hollande, a run for his money in the unpopularity ratings

Yes another poll.

Clearly someone at le Parisien/Aujourd'hui en France thought it would be interesting to discover what the French felt about their former first lady...and then tell them what they probably already knew.

Namely that 69 per cent of those questioned (a representative sample of the population as a whole of course) had a "bad opinion" of Trierweiler and 59 per cent thought she had been wrong to write her book.

(screenshot "Merci pour ce moment" front cover)

On the other hand, while some might not agree with what she wrote and others might not like her (if the survey is to believed) Trierweiler still elicits a great deal of interest.

Or is it simple curiosity?

Because on Saturday (the day before the poll was published) the Paris Match journalist (yes she still works for the magazine) had to beat a hasty retreat while out and about.

Trierweiler was in the Barbès area of northern Paris - shopping (for cassava and plantain, as she would later reveal) with a friend -  and being the celebrity that she has become was quickly recognised by people eager to have their photo' taken with her.

But it all threatened to escalate out of control and a plainclothes policeman (who just happened to be around) apparently directed her into one of the shops while he waited for reinforcements to allow her to drive away from the adoring throng.

Making light of the "incident" Trierweiler later took to her preferred method of communicating with fans and followers - on Twitter, of course.

"Thank you for the welcome very very warm welcome in Barbès . Neither panic nor the need to go to the police station. But cassava and plantains. And a lot of selfies."

Ah. The price of fame.

Friday's French music break - Bubblies, "Papier mâché"

Friday's French music break this week remains in the realms of...well music.

Now there's a novelty given some of the recent offerings.

But there's also a proverbial "twist in the tale" as will soon become clearer.

First up the song.

It's "Papier mâché" from an EP released in 2001 by the Toulouse-based indie group "Bubblies".

No, the name of the group probably isn't that well known, after all they're not the sort of band that regularly rocks the airwaves.

And the track is possibly just as unfamiliar as it was neither a commercial success, nor did it feature on any national radio playlist at the time of its release.

Still the four-piece group have been around for quite a few years - since 1991 to be exact - making music and building up a loyal if small(ish) following.

But their very existence was threatened by King, the creators of the online game "Candy Crush Saga" (can anyone out there explain the rules? On second thoughts, don't bother).

In June last year, King claimed that the group's name somehow "overshadowed" that of another game the company released in 2012 and wanted to relaunch in April 2014 as "Bubble Witch Saga 2". 

And with big bucks on their side, King threatened to begin legal proceedings against the band, claiming trademark infringement.

The group had everything to lose, including the video games they create on their official site (probably the real reason for King's move in the first place)  and called on their fans via their website and Facebook for support.

"We need your help to prevent a large multinational from 'wiping its feet' on a small rock group," the band wrote.

And the message was heard.

Not just by fans as they mobilised on both Facebook and Twitter, and the media as it picked up on what appeared to be a musical "David" pitted against an online "Goliath".

But also by King itself which abandoned its demand for the group to find another name or face a court battle.

All right, the music might not be...um...the very best of French rock (whatever that might be) has to offer, but it's good to see the "little guy" win occasionally isn't it?

And reason enough to make "Papier mâché" this week's Friday's French music break.

Bon weekend.

TF1's phallic weather warning

Tempête Dirk came, lingered like the most unwelcome of guests over parts of France, and caused Christmas misery for many.

Brittany was perhaps initially the hardest hit part of France with, for example, residents in the town of Marlaix "celebrating" the festive season quite literally under water.

They weren't alone.

Far from it, as back-to-back news reports showed, giving journalists something "real" to report other than the usual last-minute shoppers, preparations for Santa's arrival, ideas for the perfect meal and the like.

Granted, those items still provided more than their fair share of the bulletins, but Dirk was understandably, the lead item.

And once it had left, along came Erich to cause added misery.

In the midst of all the bad news though, there was a lighter - if somewhat unintentionally lewd moment.

And it was provided by, of all people, one of the country's most recognised television weather forecasters (or as some presenters on BFM TV seems to have decided to call them "climate specialists") TF1's Evelyne Dheliat.

The prime time evening news in France on both TF1 is preceded by and followed by a comprehensive national weather forecast.

But when there's a predicted extreme of one sort or another, the weather forecaster is invited into the studio to beef up the report.

Such was the case on the eve of Christmas Eve with Dheliat joining anchor Julien Arnaud in front of the cameras complete with a state-of-the-art (ahem) diagram to show the likely progression of Dirk.

Except Dheliat seemed not to have checked her graphics before the show because, in the tradition of the very best (or worst) of Benny Hill-type smuttiness, the storm appeared to take on phallic proportions as it move eastwards and southwards.

Evelyne Dheliat on TF1 (screenshot from Gentside's zapping)

As the image hit Twitter (of course) some bright sparks came up with comments such as "Evelyne Dheliat seems to have confused  'Dirk' with tempête...well work it out yourselves.

TF1 : La carte météo du 23 décembre a bien fait rire les internautes par Gentside

Your week in French politics including the Sarkothon and the governmental diesel cock-up

Time, for those who are interested, for a look back at some of the political stories in France from the past week.

And what a start to the week for the centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP).

Happy days again, as it's not longer "Pauvre" (Le Point's pun from earlier this year).

Remember how in July the Conseil Constitutionnel refused to validate the party's spending during Nicolas Sarkozy's 2012 presidential campaign?

The decision sent the UMP into a deep financial depression and forced the former president and party bigwigs to launch a campaign for funds - aka the Sarkothon (what else?).

Well the target has been reached. A cool €11 million has been raised in just a couple of months and the party's president, Jean-François Copé couldn't contain his delight at a conference in Le Touquet.

"I'm happy to tell you that today we've achieved our target," a radiant Copé said.

"We're raised the €11 million necessary."

And just in case anyone had missed the news, he turned to Twitter to tweet...uh...exactly the same thing.



Mind you, Copé wasn't the only relieved UMP member to take to Twitter.

Nadine Morano (yes her) was at her tweeting best too.


Phew. We can all sleep soundly now, knowing that there's a real opposition party capable of offering alternative and credible policies to those proposed by the current government.

Er...can't we?

And just to top it all off, came the news that all those who coughed up dosh "for the cause" are going to get a personal thank you...from the overspending man who got the party into the mess in the first place.

Not surprisingly Sarkozy was equally unable to supress his emotions and turned to...where else but Twitter.



Ah

Thank goodness for social networking.

Moving swiftly along, and you probably know there'll be local elections here in France next year.

Well, there's apparently something of shift in the political landscape going on in France's second largest city, Marseille.

It might have been in the news for quite different reasons over the past year, but a recent poll (and you have every right to be suspicious of these sorts of things) came up with some chilling political predictions.

The incumbent Jean-Claude Gaudin (UMP), who has been mayor for donkeys years (well since 1998 to be exact), looks set to secure a fourth mandate next year.

But it's what's happening behind him that's of interest

Latest figures show that the far-right Front National (FN) candidate, Stéphane Ravier, could well beat the Socialist party into second place - forcing a three-way second round battle.

Back in 2008 Ravier secured just nine per cent of the vote. Currently he's at around 25 per cent.

There are of course a number of (local) factors to take into account - not least of which is that the Socialist party hasn't yet named its candidate.

It's still dilly-dallying around with a primary for which there are six candidates including government minister Marie-Arlette Carlotti and the outspoken senator Samia "bring the army into Marseille to help out" Ghali.

Maybe future polls will show a reverse trend for the FN once the Socialist party has got its house in order...maybe they won't.

The mouthwatering possibility of a three-way second round fight will, of course, delight the FN's leader, Marine Le Pen.

From a party which builds its foundations on the cult of personality (and some pretty abject beliefs) back to one which is seriously lacking character and backbone.

The Socialist party of course.

Mind you, the prime minister, Jean-Marc Ayrault, is trying...in both senses of the word.

screenshot from Les Guignols de l'info

After his rousing speech to close the party's summer conference a couple of weeks ago (remember his nonsensical gesticulation which looked as though he was trying so hard to put into practice something he had learned in a video training exercise) Ayrault now wants to project the image of a tough guy.

Er.

He has seemingly discovered a way to prevent those nasty Americans and Britons from spying on what the government here is up to.

Ayrault has apparently sent a three-page letter to ministers telling them to be careful with what sort of information they share via their smartphones and tablets.

And how do we know this? Well from that very letter, a copy of which the weekly news magazine L'Express managed to...um...procure and  publish.

Hey. France's "allies" don't need high tech programmes to discover what the country's movers and shakers are up to. They can just wait for the French media to publish a story.

Finally, two words for you. "Philippe Martin".

Who?

You know, the minister of the environment and the man who was given the job after his predecessor, Delphine Batho, was unceremoniously fired in July.

Poor M. Martin seems to have got himself into a bit of a pickle this week and it's all to do with diesel: not the Italian design company, rather the stuff that many motorists in France still pour into their cars.

In 2012, 72.9% of cars sold in France were diesel.

The Greens (the Socialist party's "partner" in government, although nobody really seems to understand why) have been pointing out for some time the health and environmental risks attached to diesel fuel and had (they thought) secured a firm commitment that there would be an increase in the price at the pump.

Since the mid-sixties successive governments have kept the price of diesel down by levying a far lower tax.

The tradition apparently began as a way "to foster economic activity, knowing that at the time diesel was the only fuel used by farmers, road haulage companies and business in general."

A diesel dilemma of sorts - and one you can trust this government to tackle with its usual clarity.
Enter M. Martin.

First up he informed a press conference that in the 2014 budget, ""there would be no provision relating specifically to what might be called the fiscal convergence of diesel and regular unleaded petrol."

A government colleague, Alain Vidalies - the junior minister in charge of relations with the parliament - interpreted that as meaning what everyone else had understood, namely that the idea had been shelved. And he said as much in an interview.

With the Greens frothing and furious at the apparent "betrayal", the environment minister was then forced to back pedal with an explanation which...well...shed little light on what had been or hadn't been decided.

"I'm not saying that the door has been closed on whether there will be an increase in the price of diesel," he said.

"I do not know and I can not say."

Bravo M Martin. That just about sums it up doesn't it?

Bon week-end.