Can France find its Pudsey?

M6 is currently broadcasting the seventh season of "La France a un incroyable talent", the French equivalent of "Britain's got talent".

Canadian impresario - Gilbert Rozon, the artistic director of Cirque Pinder - Sophie Edelstein and Wouter Levenbach - the Dutch-born singer better-known in this country under his stage name Dave - are back again sitting through the usual motley bunch of acts from which they and later the viewers - can find that "incredible talent".

Precocious children all "autodidact" of course convinced they can sing, dance or play an instrument.

Acrobats from around the world (that's right, the programme is not confined to purely French "talent") who've clearly trained professionally but want an extra bit of exposure by being on telly.

Dance troupes in all shapes and sizes.

"Comedians"- well they think they're funny even if nobody else does.

Those with a message, political, social or just downright dumb such as bursting out of a bin liner or slapping food all over the table.

Motorbikers, magicians, drag acts, choirs - young and old - bands, singers...the list goes on an on.

Still it makes for - ahem - suitably mindless television with presenters Sandrine Corman and her sidekick Alex Goude entertaining themselves as much as the viewers and all the while keeping the show going.

Somehow though anyone watching must be left with the feeling that the real "talent" is to be found elsewhere, especially as immediately following the programme there is the additional and imaginatively- named "La France a un incroyable talent, ça continue".

It recaps what has just been broadcast - very handy if you missed the show in the first place - takes a look at what has happened to past contestants since they first appeared and, most importantly perhaps, allows viewers a glimpse of what's going on in other countries.

And given the original concept is one that has pretty much been picked up around the world, there's obviously enough material out there.

Somehow though you get the feeling that the copies aren't really a patch on the original which gave the world Susan Boyle (although she didn't win) back in 2009 and earlier this year brought us a 16-year-old girl and her dog.

Pudsey (screenshot from "Britain's got talent")

That's right. Ashleigh Butler and her six-year-old performing Border Collie, Bichon Frise and Chinese Crested cross Pudsey walked - or should that be danced? - off with the title of "Britain's got talent" in May this year.

And it's only thanks to "La France a un incroyable talent, ça continue" that viewers here have finally discovered the dog's truly amazing talent.

So here's the video.

Enjoy.

Woof.

Dog food manufacturer's irresistible offer - not

Surely it's not meant to bamboozle - that would of course be reprehensible and probably illegal.

But the offer Royal Canin, the French manufacturer and supplier of dog food, is currently making, is hardly one either owners or their pets will drool over.

Added to that, there are also the hoops you have to jump through ("virtually" speaking) to take up the company's not-so generous promotional offer.

At first sight it all seems innocent enough. And that of course should be the clear sign that there's more to it than meets the proverbial eye.

That bright yellow sticker on the four-kilogramme bag of puppy biscuits offering three vouchers worth €24 seems to suggest there's a great saving to be made.

In fact, if you do the sums, Royal Canin would appear to be giving away the next four-kilogramme bag you buy (retail price €22, give or take the odd centime) and some money off the purchase after that.

Right?

Wrong.

Because, of course, all is not what it seems.

There's the very small print to read on the package - whose terms only become apparent when you log on to the company's site http://www.monchiot.royalcanin.fr/index.html to register, as required.

First up you're asked to complete an application form with your name, address and email.

Whoa - that online method of sending you unwanted (is there any other sort) junk mail.

Give Royal Canin its due though. It allows you to choose not to accept emails with other promotional offers.

Read the rules and regulations (does anyone - ever, really?), complete the promotional code (which you can find on the package) and move on to the next step.

Once there you're asked how many animals - dogs and cats - you have.

Huh?

Why?

Wasn't this supposed to be about getting money off a bag of puppy biscuits?

After all the name of the site suggest as much. http://www.monchiot.royalcanin.fr/index.html. Doesn't it?

Enter the age, sex, date of birth, breed and whether neutered.

You can have up to three dogs and/or cats (for their records and to market better their products probably) and if you don't have another animal apart from the one you've registered, you have to say as much. It's a required field.

Confirm your info.

The next page is one from which you can print your collector's card - and that's the point at which you realise that the conditions you didn't read properly on the package - mainly because they're written in the smallest of typeface - are all there repeated in glaring black and white.

All you have to do is:

Print the collector's card and attach in the appropriate place the following;

1). The receipt from the shop for the original purchase.

2). That yellow sticker from the package - into a space roughly 10 times smaller than the size of the sticker. Oh well. What the heck.

3). The barcode from the package. Scissors please!

Once you've assembled your Blue Peter project, you send the whole thing off to the address given and within three weeks you'll be sent your vouchers.

But "ta da". Here's the catch.

The three vouchers are worth €8 each (hey, Royal Canin can do maths) and may only be used - ONE AT A TIME - on an individual bag of...get this...15 kilogrammes. Recommended retail price €62.99.

So in other words to take full advantage of that fabulous €24 saving, you first have to fork out €188.97.

And that folks, is a "promotional offer", the likes of which you simply cannot fail to resist - n'est-ce pas?

Ukraine's stray dogs - a victim of Euro 2012

Football fans will know that next year sees the finals of Euro 2012.

It's a footballing feast held every four years and a showcase for the Beautiful Game in Europe.

This time around it's being hosted jointly, by Poland and Ukraine, who together with 14 other countries will take part in the tournament.

Millions of television viewers will doubtless be glued to their screens from the kick off in the Polish capital Warsaw on June 8 to the final in the Ukraine capital Kiev on July 1.

Concerns have been voiced over the past couple of years by Uefa (Union of European Football Associations) - the game's governing body in Europe - especially about the infrastructure and progress of the scheduled venues in both countries.

But the marketing and promotion machine is now in full swing and everything looks set to kick off as scheduled.

Except in all the hullabaloo and spin in the run up to the tournament, there's one subject that hasn't been getting so much media coverage: how Ukraine is going about the job of getting rid of its stray dog problem.

Stray dog in Ukraine (screenshot from RT report)

And it is a huge issue as Russian-based RT television news recently reported.

With "tens of thousands of animals roaming the streets of the country's cities" Ukraine's stray dog population presents a health risk. People are apparently being bitten regularly and there's the risk of infection.

The solution as far as the authorities are concerned has been to "remove, kill and burn stray dogs in a mobile crematorium".

But the methods used have apparently outraged animal rights activists in Ukraine who deem the practice cruel and claim that some of the animals are still alive when they're being burnt.

They've been gathering signatures in an online petition for some time now in an effort to bring wider attention to the way in which authorities have been going about the clean-up campaign and to urge former French international and current Uefa president Michel Platini to use his influence.

And last week they were joined by the French animal charity Fondation 30 millions d'amis.

"Is the killing of thousands of animals in the most squalid conditions in keeping with the image of a world class sporting event?" asks the Fondation on it website.

The answer, as far as the charity is concerned, is clearly "no" and it has launched its own petition in an open letter to both Platini and the Ukranian president Viktor Yanukovych.

It's demanding that a stop be put to the "massacre" and a suitable sterilisation, transportation and rehoming programme be set up.

Watch the RT clip (the presenter warns that the images might be disturbing) and see what you think.

While there's little or no likelihood that Ukraine will be stripped from hosting Euro 2012 - as some animal rights activist have called for - perhaps it can be discouraged from destroying stray dogs in the way it has been doing recently.

The dog and the rock

When well brought up "man's best friend" is faithful, loving, trusting and, as any dog owner will tell you, often as daft as the proverbial brush.

Bottoms up (screenshot from YouTube video)

You need proof?

Check out the latest in a long line of canine capers that seem to dominate YouTube.

This mutt looks to be of the many breeds that would require a muzzle and/or special certification of ownership here in France as per the "dangerous dogs act" of 2008.

Among other things, the law obliges anyone owning a dog from groups 1 or 2 to undergo training with a qualified instructor (seven hours in total) in "canine behaviour and accident prevention."

Anyway, the dog with the rock, is clearly not from France, as can be heard from the voice of his owner with the infectious laugh.

But its behaviour in the video is proof positive surely that with the right upbringing, any pooch - regardless of breed - has the capacity to be...er...endearing.

Woof!

Le Toutou bar in Brussels - a restaurant for dogs

Belgium might not have had a fully elected government for over a year now, but it can boast a first - and something that has nothing whatsoever to do with politics;

A restaurant with a menu for dogs.

screenshot from Le Toutou bar website

Le Toutou bar (the doggie bar) in Brussels is serving up dishes destined to delight the palate of even the most discerning dog.

The idea is the brainchild of Bernard Schol and his wife Houria Agalam, who have the licence to run the Pavillon Louis XV, a splendid building dating from 1745, owned by the local authority and which can be found in the Wolvendael park in the Belgian capital.

And its setting is what gave the couple the idea not only to cater for their regular clientele but to open it up to man's best friend.

"We noticed that a number of people who had been in the park walking their dogs were dropping in for a drink," he said.

"But there was absolutely no provision made for their dogs."

And it was with that thought in mind that they drew up a menu comprising not just specially concocted drinks but also food for hungry hounds.

Just take a look at what's on offer.

There's a choice of dishes from pasta or rice to vegetables, beef or chicken. All of them are high in fibre and low in salt.

Just the ticket for panting pooches and their owners who've returned from a brisk walk or run around the park's 18 hectares.

If that's left you feeling hungry you can also tuck in because according to the website, "All dishes are also suitable for human consumption."

Mind you, perhaps it would be wise to give the beer a miss.

"Red Dog" energy beer as it names implies, has been specifically brewed for pooches of all sizes with what is described as the "subtle taste of bone marrow".

Delicious.

screenshot from local television report

Le Toutou bar will remain open throughout the summer serving drinks and snacks to panting pooches and their equally owners.

Bone appetit.

Woof!

Five-star luxury for pampered pooches in Paris

You know the world has quite literally gone barking mad when special accommodation is on offer for Man's Best Friend, often more luxurious and sumptuous than living conditions for those of us with only two legs.

Such is the case of the recently-opened Actuel Dogs hôtel in the suburbs of Paris which, as its name suggests, is exclusively for guests of the four-legged kind.

With just six rooms it could perhaps be described as a "canine boutique hôtel" and has been inspired by similar set-ups in the United States and Japan.

Ulysse, one of the guests at Actuel Dogs (screenshot from Agence France Presse video report)

It's the brainchild of animal behaviourist Stan Burin and his wife Dévi, who wanted to offer dog owners a place to leave their pets while they went out to work.

"We started out from the principle that dog owners were looking for something other than kennels," Dévi, told RTL radio.

"What we're offering in a sense is a pet-sitting or foster service if you like, except we've pushed the concept a little further," she continued.

"Rather than introducing the animal into a setting intended essentially for humans we've created an environment specifically aimed at the well-being of the dog."

What exactly that implies is explained by taking a look at the hôtel's website to discover what owners - or should that be their furry friends - are getting for their euros.

There's a games room, a heated swimming pool, a massage room, bathroom, single rooms and suites and à la carte menus.

And that's not all. The hôtel is close to one of the city's major parks, the Bois de Vincennes, and takes full advantage of its location by offering individual or group "doggy walks", the more physically exerting "doggy jogg" as well as "doggy rando" or hiking and "doggy vélo" where your four-legged friend can enjoy running alongside a bicycle.

Although Dévi insists that the hôtel isn't exclusively for dogs whose owners have deeper-than-average pockets, such luxury of course has its price.

Half-day board starts at €26, while full-day during the week begins at €35 for a standard room and €45 for a suite and that includes two walks and "unlimited access to the games room."

Owners can also keep track of how their pets are faring in pooch paradise by webcam or email.

And whoever said it's a dog's life?

Woof!

Dog owners help slaughter their Labrador-Boxer cross

It is, as the regional daily Le Maine Libre reported earlier this month, unbelievable the lengths to which some people will go to rid themselves of an unwanted animal.

Rather than take their Labrador-Boxer cross Dora to the nearest animal shelter for rehoming, an elderly couple in the western French département of Sarthe helped a friend hang and stab the four-year-old dog to death before throwing her body in a river.

All three "protagonists" have admitted to what they did, but as the animal charity Fondation 30 millions d'amis writes on its website, the most likely sentence they'll receive when their case is heard by a court next month is a fine and perhaps community service.

The Loir, the river into which Dora's body was thrown (from Wikipedia, author Ted Wilkes)

The couple, both in their 70s, from the village of Lavernat could reportedly no longer cope with the spirited Dora and decided to give her to a friend living in the nearby town of Château-du-Loir.

Dora continued her naughtiness and, no longer able to tolerate her behaviour and apparent attempts to run away, the 45-year-old decided to do what any sane-thinking person would.

She hanged the dog in her garden and beat her!

But Dora survived, only to be subjected to the "helping hand" of her previous owners who stepped in and stabbed her to death with a machete.

Together, all three then tied the body to a concrete block and threw it in the river.

The corpse was discovered at the beginning of January and police were able to trace the owners by an identifying tattoo in the animal's ear.

They all admitted to what they had done and now face a court case at the beginning of February.

Because they will "plead guilty" and the case is being judged under civil code the maximum penalty they can be given is a fine or some sort of community service, which as far as Fondation 30 millions d'amis is concerned does not fit the "barbarous nature of the crime committed."

It says on its website that if the case were being tried under the penal code they would be facing a maximum of a two-year suspended sentence and 30,000 euros fine.

What the charity would like to see is a change in how a guilty plea affects possible sentencing under the civil code because "torturers of animals often go unpunished for their crimes."

Aspirant - the cancer detecting dog

Dog's are well known for their powers of sniffing, guiding and licking themselves in places that would be rude if we humans tried to do the same thing.

And there are surely more than enough stories circulating on the Net about animal cruelty and just how much we use and abuse Man's Best Friend.

Here though is a tale of a dog, which according to the regional French daily La Nouvelle République has learnt a remarkable skill, and it's being put to good use.

Aspirant, a six-year-old Malinois, or Belgian shepherd dog, can detect patients with prostate cancer.

Aspirant (Screenshot from video accompanying La Nouvelle République report)

He's a military dog at the French airbase of Orléans-Bricy in central France and has undergone training to be able to detect signs of prostate cancer in urine samples.

It's all part of a programme of experiments conducted by Olivier Cussenot, the director of the research unit of urology at the Tenon hospital in Paris, who was put in contact with the airbase in 2007 because, as ministry of defence veterinarian Philippe Ulmer told the paper, "We have dogs capable of detecting all sorts of products such as drugs and explosives.

Over a period of months Aspirant, with the help of his handler, was taught to tell the difference between urine samples which came from patients diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without, always, stressed Ulmer, with the sense that, "Aspirant thought it was a game and when he correctly identified a 'positive' sample he would be rewarded."

And the training seemed to work - far beyond the expectations of many, according to Ulmer.

"One day we were surprised when he indicated that a negative sample was apparently positive," he said.

"It was then sent off to Paris for analysis and the tests came back proving that the dog had been right; the patient had indeed developed prostate cancer."

Journalists, including Bruno Besson from the paper, were treated to their own demonstration of Aspirant's ability last Friday when they were invited to see him in action at the airbase.

"Three samples were hidden in the drawers of three different tables," writes Besson.

"One of them was 'positive' and the other two 'negative'," he continues.

"Aspirant entered the room, sniffed the first table and then went to the second where he immediately sat down and didn't move. He was right!"

Aspirant might be unique in France, but there are reports of "canine cancer detection" (Wikipedia's catchy little title for the screening which it defines as relying "upon the olfactory ability of dogs to detect very low concentrations of the alkanes and aromatic compounds generated by tumors") in other countries.

In 2006 The Pine Street Foundation in Marin County, California published the findings of a study it had carried out claiming that it had trained dogs "to detect lung cancer in the breath of cancer sufferers with 99 percent accuracy."

And in 2004 the British Medical Journal published a paper outlining the results of a test to determine "whether dogs can be trained to identify people with bladder cancer on the basis of urine odour more successfully than would be expected by chance alone."

Cockers rescued from the "kennel of shame"

Sadly the following is not a fluffy kitten tale or a cute puppy one. Nor is it one likely to go viral on the Net. Instead it's an all too common occurrence especially in the weird and not-so-wonderful world that is dog breeding.

Just one of the 152 cockers (screenshot from video of the rescue)

They call it "the kennel of shame" in their report detailing what animal inspectors discovered when they arrived at the home of a dog breeder in the village of Peyrat-le-Château in the west-central département of Haute-Vienne shortly before Christmas.

And surely the charity Fondation 30 millions d'amis used exactly the right term in describing the deplorable conditions in which they found 152 English cockers spaniels living.

Cockers living in a car (screenshot from video of the rescue)

Rather than the active, good-natured and merry bundles of fun that characterise the breed, inspectors encountered undernourished and often sick dogs locked in cars and caravans or crammed into a 12 square metre chalet.

Many of the dogs were starving and had no access to fresh water.

"One bitch had a severed leg" reported the Fondation. "Some of the dogs even had their eyes gouged out".

After the rescue the dogs were taken to nearby animal shelters where, according to one volunteer Martine Attali, it could take many of them at least a month to be brought back to a condition in which they can be found new homes.

"They are weak and dehydrated and require emergency care," she said.

Although undoubtedly a "success" for the Fondation in its efforts to campaign against "all forms of animal suffering", the rescue of the cockers will hardly leave it rejoicing as a brief look at its site reveals that, even though the numbers of dogs involved was perhaps unusually high, this is far from being an isolated case.

And the maximum penalty it can expect as a result of the breeder being prosecuted?

"A fine of €30,000 and two years imprisonment (under article 521-1 of the penal code)," reports the Fondation.

"And maybe a lifelong ban from keeping animals."

A pitiful story made all the more unpalatable by the comparatively paltry maximum sentence that can be handed down in such a case.

The Fondation is a charity created in 1995 and is a spin-off from a hugely successful television programme of the same name.

Donuts - the dog helping Alzheimer's

There are some stories that cannot fail to touch even the most cold-hearted and this is surely one.

The tale of how Donuts the golden retriever helps Alzheimer's patients.

The two-and-a-half year old arrived at the Résidence Pierre-Bonnef in the eastern French city of Belfort last August.

A Handi'Chien golden retriever (screenshot from France 3 report)

The Résidence is a home for the elderly and, as its website says, caters in particular for the physically or psychologically dependent.

Among them of course are a number suffering from Alzheimer's, and the presence of Donuts has proven to be a boost for both patients and staff according to the national daily Le Monde.

It gives the example of an 83-year-old woman with advanced dementia who walks for hours on end without any purpose.

"Just a couple of days ago the dog helped her sit down for just long enough to eat," writes the paper.

"The woman was briefly reassured, stroking the head and chest of the animal, while a nurse fed her the only meal she would agree to eat."

Donuts was donated to the home by Handi'Chiens, an organisation founded in 1989 that trains dogs to assist the disabled.



Over the past couple of decades it has trained more than 1,000 dogs (a process which takes two years) that have gone on to help children and adults with different physical and mental disabilities.

And the testimonials as to how they have changed and enriched the lives of many people are both touching and inspirational.

You can read some of them here (in French) to see what difference dogs such as Donuts have made in the everyday lives of so many.

Their presence in homes for the elderly is relatively new in France, but growing apparently and for good reason as Geneviève Breton, Donuts' guardian, explained to Le Monde.

"Thanks to him we are able to make a link with these elderly people who are so completely lost in their own silence, that might otherwise not exist," she said.

"While caressing and kissing him, they're also unknowingly helping their articulation," she added.

"He doesn't judge, instead he looks them in the eyes and offers up love."

Justice for Mambo - the French dog set on fire and left to die

A second online petition has been launched to gather support for "Justice for Mambo", the three-year-old dog set alight by two people in the southern French village of Espira-de-l'Agly in August this year.

Signatures are being gather to demand that the main perpetrator of the crime, a 17-year-old adolescent and therefore a minor before the eyes of the law, be handed down the maximum penalty possible when he stands trial in December.

His accomplice, a 22-year-old woman, has already been sentenced to six months in prison for complicity in an act of brutality and cruelty after she admitted holding down Mambo while the teenager poured gasoline over the three-year-old mongrel and then set him alight.

The reason the two gave for such a senseless crime? Reportedly they were "bored and had nothing better to do."

The story of Mambo is one that has been making the headlines in France for a couple of months now and he has become something of a star in this country.

The plight of the three-year-old mongrel has already mobilised support among the French public - and for just cause.

The act of sheer cruelty left him with third degree burns to 50 per cent of his body and for a while it wasn't certain whether he would survive or have to be destroyed.

The week following the incident over 200 people took to the streets of Espira-de-l'Agly to protest, and an online petition (now closed) was launched with over 13,000 people signing demanding "Justice for Mambo".

Among the signatories were the country's former first lady, Bernadette Chirac, the ex-international football star, actor Alain Delon and animal activist, Brigitte Bardot.

A well-known television and radio presenter, Michel Drucker, volunteered to meet the veterinary bills.

When Mambo was first being treated, the vets were unable to remove the bandages without putting him under anaesthetic.

He has since made slow and painful progress - remarkable given the extent of his burns ) and although he still requires sedation when being handled, as you can see from the accompanying video with a lot of TLC he's well on the road to recovery.



With him throughout has been the woman who found him in the first place, Dany Goizé.

The 59-year-old restaurant owner and volunteer for the SPA has been at the forefront of the Mambo campaign, raising money, answering letters and getting the online petitions up and running.

Goizé and her husband already have another rescue dog, and Mambo can expect a heartfelt welcome in his new home.

"If he wants a kennel, he'll have one," said Goizé

"And if he prefers to sleep in my bed, then that's where he'll sleep."

French launch of a sex toy for dogs

Yes you read the headline correctly, and no it's not an April Fool. Friday saw the launch on the French market of the world's first sex toy for dogs.

Actually it has been available worldwide over the Net (I'll leave you to do the search) for the best part of a month now and orders have already been received from as far away as the United States, Israel and Japan.

But until now the "Hot Doll", developed by the 26-year-old designer Clément Eloy, hadn't actually been available here France.

That changed for the nation's dogs last week with the official launch of the product in the country in which it was created.



"To a certain extent it's an inflatable doll for dogs," said Stéphane Delimoges, the director of the company manufacturing the toy, stressing that (male) dogs sometimes have sexual needs or domination problems.

Ahem.

Well yes. Anyone who own a male dog (for that's obviously the target market) with rather randy tendencies, will know how embarrassing it can be when he makes a beeline for the nearest knee intent on humping his way to heaven.

It's one of those less-than-welcome moments for dog owners and the object of Fido's affection alike.

Described by the manufacturers as "stable, strong and ergonomic" and "designed for the utmost comfort of your pet", Hot Doll at the moment comes in a choice or two colours; black or white (with orange extremities).

But at a height of only 40 centimetres the "stylised poodle" can only be used by smaller breeds.

Owners of bigger hounds such as German Shepherds, Dobermans or Rottweilers whose pets display "behavioural problems" can take heart though as two larger models are apparently also due to be launched shortly.

Chirac's dog retires to the country

Not everyone loves a shaggy dog story as they tend to go on for far too long and when the climax is eventually reached the listeners are often left scratching their heads wondering what exactly the point of the whole thing was.

Well to keep things as short as possible, here's a tale with a happy end - of sorts - involving what is supposed to be man's best friend.

It centres on the problems the former French president, Jacques Chirac, had been having with his beloved maltese bichon, Sumo, named in honour of his passion for the Japanese sport.

Sumo obviously didn't take to leaving "his" presidential digs at the Elysée palace back in May 2007 when Chirac and his wife, Bernadette, moved out and Nicolas Sarkozy moved in.

Perhaps the dog was missing the political limelight, but as Bernadette explained in an interview earlier this year shortly after Sumo had bitten her husband, he had "got into the habit of nipping a little. Not everyone and not all the time."

The former first lady's explanation for the dog's erratic behaviour was that the little fellow "missed the garden the other animals and the freedom he had in the gardens of the Elysée palace."

Sumo was miserable she admitted and being treated with antidepressants.

Since then however, things seem to have gone from bad to worse.

The dog bit his master on two subsequent occasions, and the most recent attack made the Chiracs realise that his behaviour had simply become too aggressive.

"I was reading in a room while Sumo was lying on the floor," the former first lady said this week of the third and final incident.

"When my husband arrived he (Sumo) jumped and bit him in the stomach," she continued.

"I was very frightened because my husband was bleeding....and Sumo wanted to jump up and bite him again."

Rather than run the risk of Sumo injuring her husband again, the couple decided that it was time for him (Sumo) to move on.

He has since been found a new home in the country, living with friends of the family on a farm in the département of Seine et Marne, where he is apparently "very happy"...and no longer bites.

Hijo, the dog who went missing during a Paris stopover

Lost luggage is one thing, but imagine how difficult it must be, in spite of all the regulations and procedures in place, for an airline to lose man's best friend and the sheer desperation owners must feel when they're told their dog has gone missing.

Sleeping at an airport might not be everyone's idea of time well spent, but a Lebanese-Spanish couple did just that last week as they waited for news on the disappearance of their dog.

Their enforced stopover began last Wednesday when they arrived on an Air France flight from Beirut in transit for the Chilean capital of Santiago.

That's when they discovered that their boxer dog "Hijo" (or "son" in Spanish) who had made the journey with them, albeit as “accompanied baggage” in the cargo hold, was missing.

According to the airline, there had been something wrong with a handle on the transportation kennel and Hijo had escaped from it after the 'plane landed.

But as far as his owner Alain Daou was concerned, the baggage handlers (and as a consequence the airline) had somehow been at fault.

"The cage was brand new," he said. "They must have dropped it."

Air France apparently offered the couple, who were without visas and for obvious reasons didn't want to leave for Chile until Hijo had been found, one night at a hotel.

But that was the extent of their responsibility, according to Daou, who had less than kind words about what had happened.

"The airline did nothing during those three days," he said. "As far as it was concerned our dog was simply a piece of luggage."

Although the story ended well, the couple surely deserves sympathy for having spent so long at an airport which a poll back in June revealed was far from being a joy for any traveller.

Published by the independent Canadian-based website sleepingairports.net. the poll ranked the airport as the world's worst, and the comments made by those who had voted for (or should that be against?) it, had more than a ring of the familiar about them to anyone who has had the displeasure of passing through the French capital's main airport.

According to statistics released in March by the airline watchdog, the Air Transport Users Council (AUC), losing luggage happens with frightening regularity.

"Airlines mishandled 42 million bags worldwide in 2007," said the AUC, "Compared with 34 million in 2006 and 30 million in 2005."

As if you needed telling, that's an awful lot of disgruntled passengers. But there was worse.

"Of the 42 million mishandled in 2007, 1.2 million bags, or around one bag for every 2,000 passengers, were irretrievably lost."

And the inconvenience of arriving at a destination while the luggage failed to make the same journey, hit this particular traveller hard earlier this year when he touched down in New York with just his carry-on after a flight from Paris.

Chirac's dog's bite is worse than its bark - apparently

Sad news from France - of sorts.

In the same week that the former president, Jacques Chirac, ranked second in a poll of this
country's most popular political figures, there now comes word that he has been bitten by his dog.

All right, don't all pass out in astonishment, It's maybe not the most important story to appear here.

But it's the end of what seems to have been a particularly long working week, and the weather outside is very "January". So why not a doggy yarn?

After all the world's media has been keeping close track of canine developments on the other side of the Pond, and hasn't "Marley and Me" been packing 'em in at cinemas across the US recently?

Anyway, so what about this French doggy tale, I hear you (not) clamouring.

Well, it doesn't concerns a poodle or a labrador, or even for that matter a hybrid of the two - virtually unknown to these shores - the labradoodle.

Instead it centres on a "charming" little maltese (bichon) who goes by the rather inappropriate moniker of Sumo (named in honour of the former president's passion for the Japanese sport).

In an interview with the weekly magazine VSD (Vendredi Samedi Dimanche) Bernadette, the wife of the former president said that Sumo was on anti-depressants and was not taking to life away from the political limelight too well.

"He has got into the habit of nipping a little. Not everyone and not all the time," she said.

"But he bit my husband, which is rather a surprise as he (Jacques) adores the dog.

"I think he obviously misses the garden, the other animals in Paris and the walks, but it's not just that," she went on to explain.

"He also had a lot of freedom in the gardens of the Elysée palace (the French president's official residence). He was very happy and there were always plenty of people around. Now he sees far fewer people."

The story has perhaps for many been taking up far too many column inches in the French press during a week when there have been plenty of other news stories around, but that didn't stop the website of the left-of centre weekly news magazine, Nouvel Observateur, bringing its readers further revelations.

It quotes an interview given by Bruno Legrand, the man who gave Sumo obedience classes with the animal welfare foundation 30 millions d'amis.

Legrand says a great deal of the fault for Sumo's recent erratic behaviour has to be laid fair and square at the hands of the former president.

"What happened is typical of hierarchical aggression," Legrand explained.

"When I was giving obedience classes to the dog, it was principally with Madame Chirac and on the rare occasions when Monsieur Chirac was there, he was overly kind to the dog," he continued.

"In other words he broke some of the most elementary rules required in the education of a dog."

The solution now he suggests would to be to re-establish the correct hierarchy within the country's former first family.

So there you have it. Quite literally the end (for the moment) of a shaggy dog story.

Are there (political or domestic) lessons to be learned by the current incumbent at the Elysée, Nicolas Sarkozy, from his predecessor?

After all when Carla moved in she also brought with her Tumi the chihuahua - property of her son Aurélien.

And looking further afield, let's just hope that a certain family newly ensconced in the White House doesn't make the mistake of choosing a similarly ill-mannered mutt (as Sumo) in their much-reported search for the perfect pet pooch.

Woof.