Florence Lamblin - Eco Sex toys and money laundering

No the title is not a piece of political faction.

But there again the alleged truth is often stranger than anything that could be dreamt up by a scriptwriter with even the most preposterously imaginative pen.

The deputy mayor of the 13th arrondissement of Paris, Florence Lamblin is back in the news again.

Florence Lamblin (screenshot BFM TV)

You might remember that last weekend Lamblin hit the headlines after being arrested for her alleged involvement in a ring suspected of laundering €40 million of drug money.

The - until-then - little-known (outside of political circles perhaps) Europe Écologie Les Verts - or Green party to the rest of us - politician suddenly found herself a household name as the media and political opponents had a field day "finding her guilty".

There were calls for Lamblin to resign, not only from the opposition but also from the party's presidential candidate this year, Eva Joly and just as importantly perhaps the Socialist mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoë.



Lamblin did just that - sort of - following that time-honoured French political tradition of announcing that she would be, "suspending her activities and political duties until there had been a full investigation into her financial records."

In other words she'll probably be back.

That was last weekend's news and of course the investigation into her alleged involvement is still ongoing.

But when the proverbial "merde" hits the fan for a French politician, you can rely on the weekly satirical newspaper, Le Canard enchaîné, to keep everyone entertained with a slightly different angle on matters.

And that's exactly what it did on Wednesday following up on a story that had appeared the day before in the weekly "news" magazine Paris Match, revealing that Lamblin, apart from being a politician, was also a partner in an eco-friendly sex toy website

Sexecolo.com, which for the most peculiar of reasons currently seems to be unavailable, thereby surely missing out on a great marketing opportunity, has as its enticing tag line “pleasure, naturally”.

(screenshot sexecolo.com)

It tells potential buyers, says Paris Match, that ecology should be "fun and not make people feel guilty",  and offers (or should that be in the past tense now?) a range of (amongst other things) "natural massage oils, organic lingerie (the edible variety?) and sex toys free from potentially harmful plastic additives."

Um.

No comment perhaps - but feel free to come up with your own interpretation.

Keep them courteous, please.

France's presidential hit parade - Les Guignols style

It's the final stretch as far as campaigning in the French presidential elections is concerned.

And before voters go to the polls in the first round of voting, those kind folk over at the daily satirical puppet show Les Guignols de l'info on Canal + have provided us with some much-needed and surely heartily welcome relief.

(screenshot from Les Guignols)

On Friday (the 13th) they served up their recipe, if you will, for a French presidential hit parade.

Les Guignols de l'Info du 13/04/12 - Les Clips de campagne

Hosted by (the puppet of) Nikos Aliagas (of Star Academy and now The Voice fame) it was a collection of sketches in which four political parties and their candidates were portrayed bemoaning their fate, offering their apologies and airing their fears.

The Top 10 countdown was simple, highly amusing and very affective.

In each case a well-known song was used, the lyrics changed and the scene set to explore themes central, as far as Les Guignols were concerned, to the campaigns of Eva Joly, François Bayrou, Nicolas Sarkozy and François Hollande.

First up were the Greens in a reworked version of "Le temps des cathédrales" from Notre-Dame de Paris, the 1998 French musical somewhat cruelly described by the Independent when it opened in London a couple of years later as a "load of old bells".



Had the party chosen the wrong candidate in Eva Joly rather the potentially more popular TV documentary maker and environmentalist Nicolas Hulot?

In a version of French singer Bénabar's 2011 song "Politiquement correct", François Bayrou appeared alongside his sidekick Philippe Douste-Blazy proclaiming his centrist values but admitting that he (polite interpretation) "annoyed voters".



To the strains of the 2010 hit "Désolé" by French rappers Sexion d'Assaut, Nicolas Sarkozy, and the rest of his UMP party, apologised to the French and blamed any/all of the country's ills on the international financial crisis.

There's a wonderful moment at the end when a seemingly hyperactive Nadine Morano cannot resist having the last word.



And finally, topping the lot, was François Hollande and the rest of the Socialist party in their version of Belgian singer-songwriter Stromae's monster hit "Alors on danse" in which Hollande fears his campaign could go belly-up in much the same way as his former partner Ségolène Royal's did in 2007 and even worse Lionel Jospin's in 2002.



Just to add to the fun, it's all done karaoké-style so, if you know the tune and feel like joining in, you can.

Roll on Sunday.

French presidential election 2012 - when a citizen journalism site confuses dates and candidates

Ah the wonders of those so-called crowd-powered news sites where members from around the world contribute stories on what's making the headlines.

First up of course is the paradox that those providing their own particular take on what's happening more often than not use the very sources for stories for which they frequently show such contempt; the mainstream media.

And of course the "reporting" often amounts to little more than a simple compilation or re-write of what is already available elsewhere on the Net.

Just to spice things up, mistakes are often made because the author simply doesn't have sufficient knowledge of the facts, hasn't checked them properly or has relied on information that wasn't entirely accurate in the first place.

There's one such story at the moment on Digital Journal, a site which purports to be, "a global digital media network with 34,000+ professional and citizen journalists, bloggers, photographers and freelancers in 200 countries around the world."

200 countries?

Really?

More than are represented at the United Nations (193) and exceeding the number most generally recognised as being the correct one (196) according to other sources available on the Net.

Clever (albeit exaggerated) innit?

Whatever.

Little wonder then that readers of the site are being treated to some suitably inaccurate "reporting" of the French presidential elections at the moment.

Getting it wrong - Digital Journal piece on France's presidential election (screenshot from Digital Journal)

In a story which takes a look at one of François Hollande's proposals, the one to tax the very rich at a rate of 75 per cent (if elected), the author finishes with a flourish maintaining that, "French voters head to the polls between Apr. 23 (???) and May 6" and that," Five candidates are vying for the presidency."

So the French will be able to vote non-stop between the two dates given - right?

Wrong.

As anyone who's keeping track of political events in France will know, the French will actually be voting on April 22 in the first round and May 6 in the second round run-off between the "top two".

Nothing in between - apart from debates (probably) and endless additional polls.

All right semantics perhaps when it comes to "between" and "on" although the exact dates should have been checked.

But as for the number of candidates...well it's just plain wrong. There are 10.

Yes there are the five quoted but - just to set the record straight - there are also another five so-called "smaller" candidates all declared and validated by the "wise men" on the country's Constitutional Council to take part in the first round.

They are Eva Joly (Europe Écologie Les Verts), Nicolas Dupont-Aignan (Debout la République or Arise the Republic, a self-proclaimed "traditional Gaullist party") Nathalie Arthaud (extreme left Lutte ouvrière) , Philippe Poutou (the far left Nouveau Parti anticapitaliste, NPA or New Anticapitalist Party) and Jacques Cheminade (the rather mish-mash Solidarité et progrès party which espouses the ideology of US political activist Lyndon Hermyle LaRouche, Jr)

But perhaps they don't count.

The piece was written and published on April 3 and live on the site "informing" readers until...well it might still be there as nobody seems to have noticed that the information given is incorrect.

There again, perhaps nobody is particularly interested.

Why not waddle over for a giggle and a sigh.

When will Nadine Morano stop?

French actor and screenwriter François Morel has said what probably many people in this country are thinking - or maybe even wishing - at the moment.

Morel who, in that time-honoured French tradition seems to be able to turn his hand to more than one profession at a time, has a weekly slot, "Le billet de François Morel" on Friday mornings on the French national public radio station France Inter.

It's five minutes during which Morel gives listeners his take on some of the stories that have made the news over the past week in France.

And last Friday it was "no holds barred" as the 52-year-old began his spot by fair laying in to two government ministers; Nora Berra, the junior minister for health, and Nadine Morano, the junior minister responsible for learning and training.

"Shut up Nora Berra," he began his commentary.

"Shut up Nora Berra, who recommended that the homeless stay indoors (during the cold spell)," he continued, just warming up.

"Shut up Nadine Morano, who thinks Eva Joly (the presidential candidate for the snappily-named Europe Écologie Les Verts, EELV or French Green party) has a problem with her accent and her body," he said.

"Nadine Morano has a problem with her brain."

Nadine Morano (screenshot BFM TV/RMC radio interview)

Yep, Morel wasn't mincing his words and in the case of Morano in particular, he probably had good cause.

While the remainder of his spot wandered off into more philosophical matters - not necessarily easy listening while getting ready for work - his opening salvoes surely, had highlighted an essential problem with some government ministers: their inability to think before they speak or publish something.

In the case of Berra it was that isolated, in her words, "error of interpretation" over her recommendation to the homeless to stay inside during the cold weather.

As far as Morano was concerned though, there have been a series of blunders - deliberate or unintentional - which make her governmental credentials almost Benny Hill-esque.

The list runs from telling "young Muslims in France that they should dress properly, find a job and stop speaking slang" to confusing "Renault" the car manufacturer with "Renaud" the singer during an early morning interview on Canal +.

And everything in between.

It would be fair to say that not a week seems to go by without Morano boldy putting her tootsie well and truly where no foot has dared to tread - in her mouth.

Last week she added to them by not only criticising Joly's accent (she was born in Norway just in case you didn't know, and first moved to France in her late teens) but also her look.

While busy "explaining" her most recent "misunderstood" gaffe, the 48-year-old then went on to score another own goal.

It happened after the inveterate Tweeter and texter sent an SMS to former government minister and current mayor of Nice in which she reportedly warned him about the prime minister, François Fillon, writing (you do the translation), "Attention Christian, Fillon te chie dans les bottes."

Only she apparently hit the wrong button when sending it, and the recipient was...er Fillon rather than Estrosi.

So perhaps Morel really was speaking for many French when he colourfully told Morano to...well, you know.

Which (French) celebs do the French find annoying?

The results of poll published in France this week reveal just which French celebrities are found to be the most annoying.

Oh yes, how the French seem to love their polls.

Er perhaps scrub that - the media seems to love reporting on the latest survey carried out among the French on its (the media's) behalf.

Well it fills airtime, helps keep a slow-moving news day rolling along and plays nicely into the game of speculation - especially when it comes to politics.

Of course not all polls are political, although with both presidential and parliamentary elections slated for 2012 they'll probably be trotted out at an alarmingly frequent rate with BVA, CSA, Ipsos, Opinionway, TNS Sofres and the like going into overdrive.

But just to round off the year that's coming to a close, the weekly magazine VSD commissioned Harris to canvass a representative sample (well that's what they always say, isn't it?) to come up with a list of the "Most annoying French celebrities or personalities " in several categories.

Poor old Ségolène Royal topped the list as far as the most annoying politicians were concerned.

Obviously the tears and emotion she showed after finishing a distant fourth in the first round of the Socialist party primaries didn't touch the hearts of many (apart from mine).



Dominique Strauss-Kahn (enough said) and the Greens' presidential candidate Eva Joly, rounded out the top three.

Among TV personalities, Benjamin Castaldi was far and away the "winner" as far as the poll was concerned. Proof maybe that years of presenting trashy TV reality shows has more than overshadowed any appeal he might have had among the French for being the grandson of the late, great actress Simone Signoret.

In Arts, it was the philosopher Bernard-Henry Lévy who, proving perhaps that he had made one too many declarations about how he had helped bring democracy to Libya, finished just ahead (or should that be behind) singer/actor Joey Starr.

If nothing else though BHL has, in the course of 2011, given the excellent satirical Les Guignols de l'info on Canal+ more than enough material.

And the sporting pain in the derrière according to VSD, was Bayern München's French international, Franck Ribéry.

Well that's what those polled apparently thought.

What about you though?

If you had been asked to choose someone in each of the four categories - politics, TV, arts and sport - who would you have plumped for, and why?

How about the following?

Politics: Jean-François Copé, the leader of the ruling centre-right party Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP).

Copé is of course very media savvy, but he just seems to be on the box a little too often and appears to enjoy making life hard for the admittedly less charismatic but somehow more dependable prime minister François Fillon.

Maybe Copé should concentrate more on the here and now and less on his ambitions for 2017.

Sport: Well ordinarily there would be one man who stands out head and shoulders as truly annoying - Raymond Domenech.

Thankfully though he seems to have slipped off the radar in recent months so the choice would have to be between sports journalist Nelson Monfort and the country's fastest sprinter, Christophe Lemaitre.

Monfort undoubtedly has linguistic skills but his habit of resorting to almost-simultaneous translation when interviewing breathless sportsmen and women immediately after an event is, to say the least, irritating.

There must surely be many a French TV viewer willing him to keep quiet.

And that's perhaps advice Lemaitre should heed as he proves the point that few sportsmen and women from whatever field, have anything truly original or inspiring to say.

Great athlete - definitely. Great orator - definitely...NOT.

As far as TV presenters go, Laurent Ruquier finds himself and his own humour just too hilarious. On the radio he's great - most of the time. But on telly...well, he sniggers and that's just plain unattractive.

Finally Arts - and proving that the term can be used in its very loosest term, it's time to "keep it in the family" so to speak, with the nod going to BHL's other half "actress/singer/director/model/muse (her description)" and generally all round famous for being famous celebrity, Arielle Dombasle.

Her latest album "Diva Latina" was proof yet again that as a singer she simply doesn't cut the mustard - far from it.

Dombasle's rendition of Jeanette's original "Porque te vas" testament to the fact that some people shouldn't be allowed within 500 kilometres of a recording studio.





Over to you.

Anne Sinclair named France's Woman of the Year - really?

A poll carried out for Terrafemina, an online women's magazine, has named Anne Sinclair as France's Woman of the Year.

Sinclair was a "symbol of courage and tenacity in face of the legal difficulties of her husband," the magazine said in announcing the results of the poll carried out on its behalf by CSA (Conseils-Sondages-Analyses).

No kidding.

It would be hard for anyone tuned in to the news in the weeks following the arrest of her husband, former International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn of course, not to have been impressed by her stoicism (and money) as she "stood by her man".

But French Woman of the Year?

Certainly not as far as the Green's presidential candidate Eva Joly is concerned.

"I find it sad," Joly said in an interview on news channel i>Télé.

"It reflects a view of life and gender relations that's very, very old-fashioned," she continued.

"I find it quite shocking, unbelievable even, that her popularity can be greater than that of a prominent politician such as Christine Lagarde," she added.

Lagarde, France's former finance minister and DSK's successor at the IMF came second in the poll.

Deserved or just too much Tammy Wynette about the outcome? What do you think?

The poll was conducted by telephone on December 6/7.

A representative sample of 1,005 people aged 18 and over were asked to choose from a list of 10 names, two women they considered had made the biggest impact in 2011.

Here, in a screenshot from the survey, are the overall results.

screenshot from PDF file from CSA survey

You can download the full report in PDF format from the CSA website.

The number of Moslems in France causes problems says Claude Guéant

He's at it again.

Hardly a week goes by - no strike that - hardly a day goes by - without France's recently-appointed interior minister, Claude Guéant, making a remark guaranteed to hit the headlines.



Guéant is proving himself to be the master of the provocative comment that doesn't just border on the racist, but is clearly meant to appeal to any xenophobic tendencies that might and do exist among some French.

And his comments have once again ignited outrage from the opposition Socialist party and angered anti-racist groups.

After saying that the "French didn't not feeling at home in France" and suggesting that "Obviously anyone working in a public service shouldn't wear a religious symbols or show any religious preference" Guéant has continued with the same theme.

"This growth in the number of Moslems and a certain number of behaviours causes problems," he said on Monday.

"There is no reason why the nation should accord more rights to one particular religion than others that were formerly anchored in our country."

Highly appropriate and timely from the interior minister given than the comments came on the eve of the debate organised by governing centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire's (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) debate on laicity.

It's a debate which is supposedly about secularism but is really more about the place of Islam in French society and comes shortly before the implementation of the ban on wearing full face veils in public places on April 11.

It's surely hard to defend Guéant's comments, even if some of his cabinet colleagues such as the higher education and research minister Valérie Pécresse have tried, when she suggested that the "Left was trying to whip up anti-Claude Guéant propoganda."

The big question remains though, where is the Omnipresent One, usually so keen in the past to rein in ministers when they step out of line?

The French president, Nicolas Sarkozy has been noticeably quiet giving the impression that he is more than happy to allow his interior minister to be his "unofficial spokesman" in making an appeal to those who might be attracted to the far-right Front National and its leader Marine Le Pen in next year's presidential elections.

Perhaps it's Eva Joly, a European Member of Parliament for the Europe Écologie party, who best sums up the sentiment many have about why Sarkozy, far from reprimanding Guéant, could actually be encouraging him.

"Nicolas Sarkozy seems determined to overtake Marine Le Pen on the Right," she said after Guéant's most recent remarks.

"He's allowing his chief spokesman to 'surf' on subjects such as national identity, the Roma immigration and Islam," she continued.

"It has become an ignoble competition with the xenophobic Right."

Hear hear!

Low turnout "wins" European elections in France

What to make of how the French voted in the European parliamentary elections?

Well at face value the centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP), and Europe Ecologie (Greens) were the big "winners" here while the Socialist party and the centre party, Mouvement démocrate (MoDem) were the "losers".

But the most telling factor of Sunday's vote perhaps was the high abstention rate, with 51 per cent of France's eligible 44 million voters not bothering to go to the polls.

Of course it's not a trend isolated to this country, but France was one of the founder-members, is a major EU player and only last December was coming to the end of its spell as the EU "big cheese" as it handed over the six-month rotating presidency to the Czech Republic.

The overall results of the European parliamentary elections appear to reflect a general shift to the centre-right throughout the 27-nation bloc, and France would seem at first sight to have been no exception.

Indeed the results here are widely billed internationally as the governing UMP having "thrashed" the Socialist party.

And it's certainly true that the UMP of the French president Nicolas Sarkozy did well with almost 28 per cent of the votes and 29 seats while the Socialist party put in a poor performance to win just 14 seats and garner a little over 16 per cent of the popular vote.

But there were a number of factors at play and of course the interpretation put on what happened also depends to a great extent on political spin.

First up before looking at the results here and what they might or might not mean, it's important once again to look at the voter turnout.

As predicted and feared by many political pundits and politicians, it was abysmal. Just 41 per cent nationally - the lowest ever for a European parliamentary election in France.

So in a real sense none of the parties managed to convince the electorate that the issues at stake were worth voting for.

A shame really as the new parliament will have an even bigger role in shaping legislation that will have an enormous impact on the everyday lives of all EU citizens.

Still that's a message that parties in France (as elsewhere) failed to get across and indeed in the last weeks of what was, by any assessment, a lacklustre campaign, the focus was either on domestic issues such as security, or personal attacks on other members of political parties.

Simply put though the results from Sunday's vote suggest there were two big winners in France; the centre-right UMP and Europe Ecologie (Greens).

And there were of course two big losers, the Socialist party and the centre MoDem.

There's no doubt the UMP did better than many had expected, but there still has to be a doubt as to whether the result can really be said to have been a vote of confidence in the government and its policies.

Even if Sarkozy tries to use the results as a ringing endorsement of the government's policies and a springboard for more legislative reform, they're surely far from being that.

Few "European" issues were addressed during the campaign no matter how much "spin" is put on the results, and Sarkozy's domestic popularity remains low.

The other big winner was undoubtedly Europe Écologie (Greens) which garnered more than 16 per cent of the vote to finish in third spot just behind the Socialist party although the two will return exactly the same number of MEPs - 14.

The reasons for its success are probably three-fold.

Firstly, the undoubted failure of the Socialist party to overcome its internal differences and present a united front to the electorate.

Secondly the charismatic leadership of Daniel Cohn-Bendit and the inclusion of both Eva Joly and José Bové on the party's list.

In the end though it may well have been the leader of MoDem, François Bayrou, trading insults with Cohn-Bendit last Thursday that helped the Europe Ecologie do well and simultaneously damage MoDem's chances, and thus making it one of the "losers".

Before the two sparred off against each other, MoDem had been ahead in the polls and had been predicted to gain anything between 11 and 14 per cent going into the election.

Instead it has ended up with 8.45 per cent of the vote and just six MEPs.

That's being largely seen as a backlash and a reaction to the criticism there was the day after Bayrou accused Cohn-Bendit of "defending paedophilia" and being a personal friend of Sarkozy.

And Cohn-Bendit's barb that Bayrou was only interested in being president in 2012, which "you'll never be because you're pathetic," might well have had the ring of truth about it for many a voter.

Along with MoDem, the other big "loser" was of course the Socialist party.

But perhaps that's no real surprise, even to its most ardent supporters.

The party has been in turmoil for several years now and of course the infighting reached its pinnacle at the end of last year when Martine Aubry and Ségolène Royal fought a bitter battle for the leadership.

Aubry "won" but Royal never really accepted "defeat" and even though the two women publicly buried the hatchet in the run up to Sunday's election, it was widely seen as a rather poorly stage-managed and unbelievable peace pact.

In addition the Socialist party has also been criticised for failing to put across any specifically European political programme during campaigning (admittedly it was not alone in that).

Before the election Aubry had set the target of 20 per cent as a result to aim for.

The party won just a little over 16 per cent, which might not be as bad as its worst ever performance back in 1994 (14.49 per cent) but must still be sending alarm bells ringing over its prospects in the 2012 French presidential elections.

Alongside the four main political parties, there'll also be representatives from both the far-left and the far-right from the French political spectrum in the new European parliament with four seats for the former and three for the latter (including Jean-Marie Le Pen and his daughter Marine).

And along with the one member from Libertas France (a combination of Mouvement pour la France, and Chasse, Pêche, Nature et Traditions, CPNT) a total of 72 French MEPs will take up their seats when the next session gets underway.