When will Nadine Morano stop?

French actor and screenwriter François Morel has said what probably many people in this country are thinking - or maybe even wishing - at the moment.

Morel who, in that time-honoured French tradition seems to be able to turn his hand to more than one profession at a time, has a weekly slot, "Le billet de François Morel" on Friday mornings on the French national public radio station France Inter.

It's five minutes during which Morel gives listeners his take on some of the stories that have made the news over the past week in France.

And last Friday it was "no holds barred" as the 52-year-old began his spot by fair laying in to two government ministers; Nora Berra, the junior minister for health, and Nadine Morano, the junior minister responsible for learning and training.

"Shut up Nora Berra," he began his commentary.

"Shut up Nora Berra, who recommended that the homeless stay indoors (during the cold spell)," he continued, just warming up.

"Shut up Nadine Morano, who thinks Eva Joly (the presidential candidate for the snappily-named Europe Écologie Les Verts, EELV or French Green party) has a problem with her accent and her body," he said.

"Nadine Morano has a problem with her brain."

Nadine Morano (screenshot BFM TV/RMC radio interview)

Yep, Morel wasn't mincing his words and in the case of Morano in particular, he probably had good cause.

While the remainder of his spot wandered off into more philosophical matters - not necessarily easy listening while getting ready for work - his opening salvoes surely, had highlighted an essential problem with some government ministers: their inability to think before they speak or publish something.

In the case of Berra it was that isolated, in her words, "error of interpretation" over her recommendation to the homeless to stay inside during the cold weather.

As far as Morano was concerned though, there have been a series of blunders - deliberate or unintentional - which make her governmental credentials almost Benny Hill-esque.

The list runs from telling "young Muslims in France that they should dress properly, find a job and stop speaking slang" to confusing "Renault" the car manufacturer with "Renaud" the singer during an early morning interview on Canal +.

And everything in between.

It would be fair to say that not a week seems to go by without Morano boldy putting her tootsie well and truly where no foot has dared to tread - in her mouth.

Last week she added to them by not only criticising Joly's accent (she was born in Norway just in case you didn't know, and first moved to France in her late teens) but also her look.

While busy "explaining" her most recent "misunderstood" gaffe, the 48-year-old then went on to score another own goal.

It happened after the inveterate Tweeter and texter sent an SMS to former government minister and current mayor of Nice in which she reportedly warned him about the prime minister, François Fillon, writing (you do the translation), "Attention Christian, Fillon te chie dans les bottes."

Only she apparently hit the wrong button when sending it, and the recipient was...er Fillon rather than Estrosi.

So perhaps Morel really was speaking for many French when he colourfully told Morano to...well, you know.

France nul points-bound for Eurovision?

If you thought the tale of the French entry at this year's annual "musical" (the term has to be used lightly) jamboree that is the Eurovision Song Contest was over - think again.

After deciding who would represent the country a couple of months ago, the choice of song has now been made.

Amaury Vassili (screenshot from YouTube video)

Back in February the Powers that Be at France Television decided who would sing the French entry at this year's bash.

None of that namby-pamby, letting-the-public-choose nonsense in France.

TV execs "wield the stick" and they plumped for 21-year-old Amaury Vassili, a singer with a "fine lyric tenor voice" (and lots of hair).

You know the sort of thing: not quite classical and certainly ill-suited for opera, but pleasant enough to listen to - if you're into that sort of tra-la-la-ing.

When the choice was announced, the promise was made that the song would be especially written for him and would be sung in the Corsican dialect*, which makes a great deal of sense for someone born in the northeast of the country.

Whatever.

That commitment has been honoured and Vassili will be singing his lungs out next month with...wait for it...this.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!



Yes. France - one of the stalwarts of the competition has done itself...er...proud.

Dramatic - overly so - camp and tedious are three words that spring to mind.

And even though that might describe what Eurovision has become (and perhaps always was), with such an - ahem - "unusual" entry, does the France really stand any chance of lifting a title it hasn't won since 1977?

Maybe.

Over the years stranger songs have been entered and even won.

Who will ever forget Norway's 1995-winning ethereal nonsense "Nocturne" by Secret Garden or Finland's laughable head banging "Hard rock hallelujah" from Lordi 11 years later.

A rhetorical question.

So perhaps there's some hope for this year's Gallic entry.

Just don't put too much money on it winning.

You'll be able to find out for yourself on May 14 when the final will be broadcast live to millions from the German city of Düsseldorf.

* If English-speakers out there thought that they would have problems understanding France's entry, spare a thought for the French.

Not even the official Eurovision site has come up with a translation into French, although it has helpfully provided the original Corsican and English

So now you can sing along too!

"Sognu di ste labbre
Di sta voce chjara è pura
Mai spentu ricordu di tè
Quella notte cui cun tè

I dream of those lips
The voice, clear and pure
I still think of you
That night, there with you"

Eurovision Song Contest voting shenanigans

France is unhappy with the way voting is conducted at the Eurovision Song Contest.

And the head of entertainment at France television, Nicolas Pernikoff, is calling for a change in the system.

The singing might be over and the votes counted but once again it's the way the latter are tallied that is making the headlines.

According to a report in the weekly news magazine, Le Point, Nicolas Pernikoff, the head of entertainment at France Television, is unhappy with the current 50-50 split between national juries and the viewing public.

Apparently, says Le Point, there were negotiations going on in the corridors of the hotel at which various delegations were staying during last weekend's contest in the Norwegian capital Oslo.

Alliances were created to exchange points and Twitter used to influence the vote of juries in countries who would be allocating points at the end of the competition.

"It's a scandal and we'll bring it up at the next committee meeting of Eurovision," said Pernikoff.

"I'll also put forward a motion that only the vote of the viewing public be taken into consideration," he added.

"Why should there be juries involved?"

Voting at Eurovision has long been a subject of controversy with accusations of political bias, skulduggery and geographical and cultural blocs playing their part in influencing the outcome.

It's a complicated process, perhaps most clearly explained by this year's official website.

Put briefly, the vote last Saturday began as the first contestant took to the stage and finished after the last of the 25 entries had been sung.

The tallies were then announced from around Europe; each of the 39 participating countries (including those who had been knocked out in the semi-finals) awarding points (from one to twelve) based on a 50:50 based on a 50-50 combination of televoting and national juries.

The system was one introduced by the European Broadcasting Union, under whose auspices Eurovision is produced, for the 2009 final with Svante Stockselius, executive supervisor of the Eurovision Song Contest saying at the time that it would make the outcome of the competition "more interesting".

"Nothing is more democratic than the vote of the public," the official Eurovision website quotes Stockselius as saying when the decision to establish the mixed voting was announced.

"But a jury takes the opportunity to listen to the songs several times, before they make up their minds."

Just for the record, France finished 12th with Jesse Matador's "Allez Ola Olé"

Germany in Lena fever after Eurovision win

Germany is still celebrating its win last weekend in the Eurovision Song Contest, when Lena sang her way to victory with "Satellite" and there's even talk of her representing the country again next year when it hosts the competition.

Anyone who followed the Eurovision Song Contest held in the Norwegian capital Oslo last weekend surely knows by now that the winner was the German entry "Satellite" sung by Lena.



As she gets used to the "Lena epidemic" as the early evening magazine Explosiv on RTL television describes the reaction within Germany, her mentor, television presenter Stefan Raab, is already suggesting that she should be the country's representative at next year's musical jamboree.

"There's only one possibility, morally, musically and ethically," said Raab, himself a former Eurovision contestant, at a press conference in Lena's home city of Hanover earlier this week.

"And that of course is that this year's winner defends her title in her own country next year, "he added before turning to the winner and asking what she thought of the idea.

"Absolutely," she responded.

Whatever plans Lena and Raab might have for next year, right now the 19-year-old "Arbiturientin" (or high school graduate) as she's frequently referred to in the domestic media, and daughter of a former West German ambassador to the Soviet Union daughter, Andreas Meyer-Landrut, seems to be "enjoying the moment".

If Explosiv is to be believed the "Lena epidemic" is soon likely to spread to the rest of Europe.

With the title under her belt and her single already hitting number one in several countries, there has been praise for her performance from around the continent with some saying her win brought Eurovision into the 21st century.

The national French daily Aujourd'hui en France - Le Parisien described her as "the pretty brunette with long wavy hair in a little black dress, a tattoo on the inside of her left arm and a small black cross around her neck" who "enchanted audiences and professionals around the continent."

The Swiss daily Neue Zürcher Zeitung said of the Lena "she neither performed the best song nor had the best song or perfect English, but the mix of charm, beauty and joy of singing convinced audiences and juries across Europe."

The Irish Times also commented on Lena's simple and refreshing performance.

"The presentation of her song was pared-back: she performed on a bare stage with four backing singers," wrote the paper's Karen Fricker.

"Her onstage manner was informal, at times gangly and awkward, and the lyrics of her song express a young person’s real-life experience of love rather than expected platitudes about beauty and world peace."

Even the BBC, far from sulking or smarting from the UK's plum last finish, had words of praise for the winning entry, saying that "Satellite" had "reclaimed the contest's musical credibility" and was "the first contemporary pop hit Eurovision has produced in decades."

"Lena had no complicated choreography, no inexplicable backing dancers and she wore a simple black dress - the sort of thing you could pick up tomorrow in any high street store," wrote Mark Savage, the BBC News entertainment reporter.

"Her refreshingly direct performance reflected a vivacious, playful personality."

Rapper's Eurovision performance leaves Spanish TV red-faced

Mario Baquero has had his 15 minutes of fame - one which undoubtedly left Spain's public broadcaster Corporación Radiotelevisión Española (RTVE) rather red-faced and television viewers more than a little open-mouthed.

Appearing under the alias of "John Cobra", the rapper appeared on RTVE television on Monday evening in a live broadcast of the country's search for a song to send to this year's Eurovision Song Contest.

Not content with putting in a less-than-impressive vocal rendition of his entry "Carol", the 31-year-old then when on to cause a commotion (to put it politely) by hurling insults at the studio audience and making obscene gestures.

And the whole "performance" was broadcast live on Spain's public television channel with more than two-and-a-half million viewers having the pleasure of the rapper's behaviour.

Yes another Eurovision Song Contest story (groan) as the "excitement" hots up around Europe with each country in the process of choosing its contestant to send to Norway in May.

The actual contest might indeed still be more than three months away, but that doesn't stop it from making the headlines.

When Spanish viewers tuned in on Monday to watch the prime time programme that would decide which act would represent the country in Oslo in May, they probably weren't expecting the eyeful and earful to which they were "treated" when Baquero stepped up to the microphone.

After being booed by the audience, the 31-year-old then went on to give as good as he had been given, much to the embarrassment of the programme's presenter, Anne Igartiburu.

She made a valiant attempt at trying to prevent Baquero from continuing his antics but even after he had finished "singing" the rapper seemed determined to revel in his newly found "glory" and subjected the viewing public to ever more lewd displays.

This being the age of the Net of course, it didn't take long for the clip to make its way to an even wider audience.

So if you're really keen to see what Spanish television viewers had the "pleasure" of experiencing, you only need to watch the accompanying video.

You don't need to understand a word of Spanish to get the gist of what he was saying.

Un rappeur obscène embarasse la télé publique espagnole
par TELEOBS

Spain (along with many other countries) drags out the whole process of choosing its candidate for the annual musical jamboree that is the Eurovision Song Contest by making a television extravaganza out of it and allowing the public to decide which act should be sent to the finals.

A decision Spain's RTVE might well be ruing after Monday night's broadcast - at least in the matter of taste if not ratings.

Perhaps they would be well advised in future to follow the example of France, where it's left to the public broadcaster to decide who will sing what, and nobody else gets a say.

Just for the record (ouch) the winning contestant - chosen by a combination of a professional jury and the viewing public - was Daniel Diges singing "Algo Pequeñito".



And Spain, one of the so-called Big Four financial contributors on which the contest depends, will be hoping he'll manage better than the 23rd place (out of 25) in Moscow last year.

Jessy Matador is Oslo-bound for France

It's official.

This year's French entry at the annual musical jamboree, the Eurovision Song Contest, will be sung by Jessy Matador.

Who?

You might well ask!

Probably unknown to many in this country, the choice was immediately seen by those "in the know" as a sure-fire way of France not winning the annual music shindig.

Instead it's apparently a clever marketing ploy to create a buzz for Matador and France Television ahead of the World Cup finals in South Africa.

Confused? Then read on.



First up though, for those of you out there who haven't got a clue what the Eurovision Song Contest is, here's the very briefest of summaries.

It's an annual competition which many music aficionados dread but the viewing public seems to love (to hate perhaps).

It began back in 1956 when just seven countries entered and has under the auspices of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) grown and become something of an institution with millions tuning in to watch the very best and worst of what Europe has to offer - musically speaking.

This year it'll be coming from Oslo as Norway won the competition last time around and with it the honours to play host.

If you're really intent on finding out more about it, here's a more exhaustive (exhausting?) explanation.

So back to France and the decision to send a relative unknown - even within this country - to Oslo.

There is apparently more at stake than winning Eurovision, at least as far as France Television is concerned according to Gaëlle Placek, a journalist for the weekly television and entertainment magazine, Télé Loisirs.

http://www.jeanmarcmorandini.com/article-36150-exclu-eurovision-jessy-matador-pour-representer-la-france.html

She insists that the decision is a mainly commercial one, with any tune Matador might sing standing little chance of winning and instead France Television banking on promoting the song to become its summer hit.

Such thinking doesn't require the leap of imagination as might at first appear.

Matador, who originally comes from the Democratic Republic of Congo, has a style of music that combines African and Caribbean influences and has already had a summer hit ("Décalé Gwada") in this country.

Just as importantly the Eurovision Song Contest takes place just a couple of weeks before the guaranteed money-spinning (for television stations among others) World Cup kicks off In South Africa.




And of course France Television will be one of the channels broadcasting matches throughout the competition.

Indeed the whole theory of a marketing ploy seemed to be more or less confirmed by Nicolas Pernikoff, the head of entertainment for France Television, in revealing the choice of Matador to represent the country in Oslo.

He said that the singer would be going into the studio shortly to record the French entry and that it would also serve as the summer hit for France 2 television.

Some French fans of Eurovision - yes apparently they do exist - might be upset that a more popular artist hasn't been chosen to represent France, and that the move goes against the spirit of the contest.

After all along with Germany, the United Kingdom and Spain, France is one of the so-called Big Four, financial contributors without which the contest would have difficulty being staged.

But since last winning Eurovision back in 1977 with Marie Myriam's "L'oiseau Et L'enfant", France has had a pretty dismal record.

Not even the presence in Moscow last year of a big gun in the form of Patricia Kaas could guarantee the country victory. She managed a disappointing eighth place.

So perhaps the choice of Matador makes sound business sense, spares (French) viewers the seemingly interminable process of choosing a representative favoured by many other countries such as Germany, which is currently holding a weekly televised knock-out show of Eurovision wannabees warbling their hearts out in "Unser Star für Oslo".

And it cuts down on the suspense at the end of May when the whole Eurovision delight hits French TV screens for several hours as nobody here will really expect France to win anyway.

Christophe Willem at Eurovision Song Contest 2010?

It's one of those rumours that has been doing the rounds on the Net over the past week, and just like any speculation, once it's out there it seems that it won't go away - even though it has been denied.

Christophe Willem, the winner of the fourth edition of Nouvelle Star (the French version of Pop Idol) back in 2006, will represent France at this year's Eurovision Song Contest in May.

"Not so," said those responsible at France Television which will broadcast the show here live when contacted shortly after the "news" broke.

"Several websites have been saying this for several hours to create a buzz but the problem is it's completely untrue."

Right, that's clear then. One of those categorical denials that cannot be disputed.

Except some might remember what happened last year when similar rumours circulated that Patricia Kaas would be singing her heart out for this country in Moscow, the host of the 2009 contest.

Both Kaas and her management started out by trying to scotch them, only to end up announcing officially that she would indeed be singing France's entry.

And there she was in Russia

For those of you out there who have no idea what the Eurovision Song Contest is, it's an annual "musical" jamboree (very heavy on the inverted commas) which many music aficionados dread but the viewing public seems to love.

From humble beginnings in 1956 when just seven countries entered, it has under the auspices of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) become something of an institution with millions tuning in to watch the very best and worst of what Europe has to offer - musically speaking.

In fact it has become so big that semi-finals take place to determine which countries will be allowed to take part.

Only the so-called Big Four - France, United Kingdom, Spain and Germany - qualify automatically for the final as they're the biggest financial contributors to the EBU and without them the production costs would be prohibitive.

This year it'll be coming from Oslo as Norway won the competition last time around and with it the honours to play host.

Alexander Rybak - Fairytale HD
par Uncensored-production

Since last winning the contest way back in 1977 when Marie Myriam sung the unforgettable "L'oiseau Et L'enfant", France has had a pretty dismal record, and not even the presence of a "big gun" such as Kaas in Moscow last year could woo enough support. She eventually finished eighth.

Anyway, back to the "yes he will, no he won't" rumour that Willem has been chosen to represent France.

The 26-year-old is arguably one of the most successful winners of a television talent show here in France, has had a clutch of hit singles and has released two albums.

There's a Facebook group (isn't there always in such cases?) that has been set up to gather support for him to represent France in Oslo, and when interviewed on whether the rumours were true or false he said the idea had been run past him and he had been in touch with some writers who could perhaps make the idea a reality.

"They're working on other projects at the moment," he said.

"So apparently it won't be me even though I too have read everywhere that it has been confirmed, but that's not the case," he added.

As to what he thought about the idea of singing at the Eurovision Song Contest, Willem admitted that it did have an appeal and he was in no way opposed to it.

"It's certainly a bit old fashioned in its concept" he said.

"But at the same time I find it quite interesting as we are constantly talking about Europe, and this is a concrete way of seeing what Europe is all about," he continued.

"It's a way of sharing music with each other and it could be a cool idea."



So there you have it. The Net helping add life to a rumour that has been denied but by the same token appears to have taken on a life of its own.

Whatever happened to....."Norway nul points?"*

After Saturday night's clear win in the Eurovision Song contest for the Norwegian entry "Fairytale" - written and performed by Alexander Rybak - it surely leaves many a fan wondering what ever happened to the country's appalling track record in the competition.

Actually come to think of it, nobody would actually have said, "Norway, nul points" when announcing the results for the Eurovision Song contest would they?

But down the years it has become something of a catchphrase - especially when it has come to the country's less-than memorable entries.

The first time it happened (to the Norwegians) was back in 1963, when their entry, "Solhverv", was happily sung into last place by Anita Thallaug with "nul points".

Actually the whole of the 60s was a pretty lean time for the country in terms of points at Eurovision.

A year before in 1962, it had managed two points and in 1965 just one. After briefly hitting the "big time" in 1966 with the huge total of 15 points for third place overall with "Intet Er Nytt Under Solen" sung by Åse Kleveland, it was back to business as usual with two points in 1967 and 1968 and just one miserable vote in 1969.

Admittedly there were fewer countries involved than today and therefore a limited number of votes actually available, and when more countries climbed on to the Eurovision bandwagon in the 1970s, Norway seemed to be doing a little better.

Apart that is from 1978 when Jahn Teigen sang "Mil Etter Mil" and managed to remind the rest of us how much Norway seemed to crave that last-placed finish by totting up...you've guessed it..."nul points".

Remember this was post Abba's "Waterloo" days, and the contest was probably at the height of its popularity in terms of ensuring that the winner received international exposure.

Norway, it seemed, carried on obliviously and in 1981 there was a repeat performance of that by now all-too familiar occurrence, this time from Finn Kalvik singing "Aldri I Livet". Last place and no points.

But then in 1985 something happened...something nobody expected as Norway came up with a classic Abba-inspired number in the shape of the Bobbysocks "La det swinge".

YouTube Video

It was bubble-gum pop, Eurovision flavour, at its very best, and things have never quite been the same since.

A decade later in 1995 and Norway was once again, to quote Ol' Blue Eyes, "'A' number one, top of the list, king of the hill," when Secret Garden won with "Nocturne".

And Norway threatened to do the double-whammy the following year when Elisabeth Andreasson (who had been one half of the Bobbysocks back in '85) notched up enough points (114) with "I Evighet" to finish second.

Those good old/bad old days of "nuls points" seemed a far and distant memory. The country was on a roll.

But as if to prove that old habits really do die hard, Norway was well and truly back on the right track just a year later when its 1997 entry, "San Francisco", sung by Tor Endresen finished plum last with the magical "nul points".

Perhaps it was the thought of having to stage the contest again, that encouraged Norway to enter a song that would ensure it had no chance of winning.

After all, down the years, those costs have become almost prohibitive.

Indeed without the Big Four contributors (Germany, United Kingdom, France and Spain) to the European Broadcasting Union under whose auspices the whole thing take place, Eurovision probably wouldn't happen.

Russia alone reportedly splashed out more than €30 million for the week-long extravaganza in Moscow which ended up with Rybak's win.

Somehow though it's hard to imagine little Norway - total population, less than five million - putting on a show quite so lavish when it plays host in 2010 (the tradition is that the winner welcomes the rest of Eurovision to a knees up back home the following year).

So although there were plenty of smiles and cheers after Rybak's victory on Saturday, surely there must still be a sneaking suspicion lurking at the back of many minds that it won't be too many years before we're once again hearing (or not, because it will of course never be "announced") that Norway has secured last place with "nul points".

Just a thought.


*"Nul points" is a British phrase coined back in the 1970s to describe the lowest possible score for a performer at the Eurovision Song contest. In other words, none of the juries from the other participating countries would have awarded any points to the entry.