So, who's "Lookin' after number one"?

Well, the title is not an allusion to the 1977 debut single of the same name by The Boomtown Rats.

Instead it's a tortured reference to one of the "big" political stories to have made the news in France over the past week.

"What could that be?" you might be asking (or not).

After all, it's a while since I let my fingers do the walking and brought you bang up-to-date with an objective look at the wonderful world that is French politics.

It's the upcoming European elections perhaps, and the somewhat "contrived" battery of polls which show French voters apparently giving the far-right Front National's (FN) anti-EU "programme" (sorry about the inverted commas - needs must) the thumbs up when everyone knows the big winner will really be the abstention rate.

Yawn.

Or Robert Ménard, one of the founders, and former secretary-general, of Reporters Sans Frontières who now, as mayor of the town of Béziers in the south of France (a post he won with the backing of the FN in March) has decided to ban - wait for it - the townsfolk from leaving their washing out on their balconies if it can be seen from the street?

Oh wait a moment. It'll only be between the hours of six o'clock in the morning and 10 pm. So it'll be all right to hang your undies out to dry during the night.

No. Too silly by far. Although a piece tracing Ménard's career from being a member of the Socialist party to becoming a self-declared "reactionary" in favour of the death penalty and against same-sex marriage might be interesting.

Maybe "Lookin' after number one!" alludes to Alain Delon, an...er...icon (is that the right word?) of the French cinema; a living legend whose brain seems to have become addled over the years (well he's getting on) and feels the need, and probably thinks his "star" status gives him the right, to express his social and political views in public.

After saying last year that same-sex couples should not be allowed to marry, that being gay was "against nature" and that "men were meant to woo women and not pick up other guys", it's perhaps little wonder that the 78-year-old has come out (entirely intentional turn of phrase) in support of Christine "homosexuality is an abomination" Boutin and her Force Vie movement in the European elections.

Nope. Delon and Boutin are far too busy looking after family values to be concerned about only themselves.

So "Lookin' after number one!" must be about Jean-François Copé's problems as the leader of the centre-right Union pour un mouvement populaire (Union for a popular movement, UMP).

You know the story, surely.

Copé's alleged "shady dealings" with UMP funds by handing out contracts to a communications company run by a couple of close buddies, which charged the party for events which never happened.

Ho hum. Looks as though it's all about to go ballistic next week when police will question three UMP parliamentarians who could well provide the proof that Copé is responsible for certain...er..."irregularities".

No, it's not that either.

Rather "Lookin' after number one!" refers to the former political scribe-turned politician  Henri Guaino and a parliamentary resolution he's tabling which shows that at the very least he has cojones.

Henri Guaino (screenshot "Bourdin direct" BFM TV, May 2014)

You see (and this is going to be a little complicated to explain) Guaino made remarks about the judge who has been investigating the dealings of Nicolas Sarkozy (to whom he was both a special advisor and political speechwriter) with French billionaire Liliane Bettencourt.

He (Guaino) accused Jean-Michel Gentil (the judge) of "dishonouring the justice system" in the manner in which he was questioning and investigating Sarkozy.

That comment clearly didn't sit well with l'Union syndicale des magistrats who brought a case against Guaino to the public prosecutor for "contempt of court and discrediting an act or judicial decision, under conditions likely to undermine the authority of the justice or independence".

Guaino's reaction? Well, he stood by everything he said.

But just to take out some extra "insurance", he's now asking his fellow parliamentarians to pass a resolution which would...." suspend the proceedings by the public prosecutor of Paris against Henri Guaino, MP for contempt of court..."

All right. That's more than enough French politics.

Here's Bob Geldof (pre KBE) and the rest of 'em

Resounding victory for France's Socialist party in parliamentary elections? Well yes - and no

The headlines in France on Monday said it all, didn't they?

The Socialist party had won a healthy majority in the parliamentary elections and are now in a position to go it alone without the "help" of Europe Écologie - Les Verts (EELV) - let's just call them the Greens (not the cabbage variety) for simplicity - or the Front de Gauche coalition of far-left parties.

Whoopee!

Source TF1

Some of those long-awaited and potentially far-reaching social policies can now be introduced although the jury is most definitely out on the capacity of this (or any) government to be able to deal with the Eurozone problems, France's debt and commitment to balancing the books.

Don't be surprised to discover the government forced to introduce spending cuts and tax increases along the lines of those centrist François Bayrou outlined in his presidential campaign but nobody else really wanted to discuss because apparently the French didn't want to hear about them.

The weekend's results were a resounding "yes" to what the Socialist party has to offer and a "strong vote of confidence in the new president," as far as finance minister Pierre Moscovici was concerned.

Really?

A "strong vote of confidence" and a resounding "yes" when only 55.41 per cent of those registered to vote in the second round actually bothered to do so.

Yep, once again the abstention rate - logically, if you do the maths - 44.59 per cent was surely a major player in the outcome.

The only "resounding" feature of the result was that a majority government was elected by a minority of the French.

(If you want to do the number crunching, take a look at the interior ministry's official figures for both rounds of voting.)

And therein lies part of the problem; the two-round run-off voting system in France which has meant that most voters have been asked to make their way to the polling stations four times in the past couple of months.

They turned out in force for the two rounds of the presidential elections in April/May (79.48 and 80.35 respectively) so there's surely not argument about the French not being interested in politics or the future of their country.

But the number of times they've been called to the ballot boxes recently must have led to a certain feeling voter fatigue.

That combined with the perception maybe that the parliamentary elections were a "done deal" with the Socialist party virtually guaranteed to have some sort of majority, probably put many off voting even if they had felt so inclined.

And not forgetting that the two-round system of voting will have meant for many that they were left with an option for plumping for one of two (sometimes three) candidates who were - well quite frankly - not of their choosing.

But help is at hand in a manner of speaking.

The government (although undoubtedly happy with a healthy majority) realises there's a problem and is apparently ready to consider revamping the electoral calendar (and there's even talk - heaven forbid - of re-introducing proportional representation).

The prime minister, Jean-Marc Ayrault, has said that shortening the time between the presidential and parliamentary elections could be one solution and there's even the possibility of holding them both on the same day.

"We'll give ourselves the time necessary to think about it," he said on national radio at the weekend. "The next (presidential and parliamentary) elections aren't until 2017.

In the meantime of course the French will still be asked to trot down to the polling stations in the country's seemingly never-ending cycle of elections, although they'll be given some respite for at least a couple of years.

And then it'll be all systems go.

The regional and cantonal elections have been combined to become l'élection des conseillers territoriaux and are scheduled for the same year as the municipal elections - 2014.

And later  the same year there'll be elections to the European parliament.



Enjoy the calm while it lasts.

Rachida Dati hits out at François Fillon - surprise, surprise

The former justice minister Rachida Dati has never exactly been best buddies with the now ex-prime minister François Fillon.

In fact it probably wouldn't be too far off the mark to say they share a mutual dislike for each other - and they aren't afraid to show it.

So Dati's attack on her former boss over his statement that after the defeat (and apparent departure from political life) of Nicolas Sarkozy there was no natural leader in their centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) party hardly comes as a surprise.

Rachida Dati (screenshot BFMTV-RMC radio)

Fillon's comment was without doubt a salvo fired in the direction of the party's secretary general Jean-François Copé and a means for him to set himself up as a potential successor.

But it was too much for Dati who, not mincing her words, was more than willing to give her take on what he had said when she interviewed by Jean-Jacques Bourdin.

"Unpleasant", "disloyal", "ungrateful" and "bad-mannered" were just a few of the choice terms she used to describe Fillon's statement.

"He (François Fillon) appears to be a little ungrateful vis-à-vis Nicolas Sarkozy who made him what he is today," she said.

"I don't think it's very chic (an attribute which is of course very important to Dati - in all senses of the word)," she continued.

"We tell our children to be well mannered and to get a good eduction. This is simply rude in relation to Nicolas Sarkozy. He's not dead is he?"



Of course this isn't the first time the two have locked political horns - so to speak.

Even though she has thrown in the towel after the UMP parachuted in Fillon to stand for a safe for Parisian seat (and one she coveted) in the upcoming National Assembly elections, Dati is clearly still smarting.

And this is a woman who, love her or loathe her, you just can't and probably shouldn't ignore.

There's denying that she knows how to make and impact - and not necessarily for the right reasons.

During her time as justice minister she came in from opposition criticism for her inability to handle her portfolio and the reports of her ministry haemorrhaging staff were seen as an indication of a woman who was difficult to work with.

Glossy magazines had a field day, regularly featuring photographs of an elegant and stylish Dati only too happy to pose for the camera and of course the weekly satirical magazine Le Canard enchaîné was unrelenting in lampooning her.

The polemic (good word that - the French love it) surrounding her return to work just days after giving birth to a baby whose paternity of course was the subject of endless speculation.

Even when she was fired - whoops sorry, left the government to take up her seat in the European parliament in 2009, she didn't quite disappear from the domestic political scene especially as she had been elected mayor of the seventh arrondissement of Paris in 2008,.

From apparent exile in Brussels and Strasbourg  Dati has continued to make to make a splash, appearing on an M6 "fly on the wall" documentary in which she was less than complimentary about her new job.

She has popped up regularly on television - be it to explain the economics behind "fellation"  or later throwing a  "dildo" into a discussion on French secularism.

Both were bloopers of course, which she was able to smile about after the videos went viral and put down to the speed at which she speaks.

Always an ardent supporter of Nicolas Sarkozy, Dati was a brought back from duty in Brussels to accompany him during part of his campaigning, adding her own personal fashion statement late in the day by appearing on the early morning news magazine La Matinale on Canal + sporting a sweater with a design emblazoned on the back which to all the world (except Dati) looked to be that of a giant cannabis plant leaf.

Ah yes.

In what is likely to become a struggle for control of the party (after the elections), Dati knows exactly how to position herself and make the most of her undoubted media-friendly talent - albeit sometimes to her cost.

Expect more fun and games to follow.

Rachida Dati's "pornographic" economic analysis

It happens to the best of us confusing a word or a simple slip of the tongue.

But when you're a politician such as Rachida Dati and still in the public eye (in spite of her claims that she has never sought the limelight - hide the guffaws please) a simple mistake can give everyone a jolly good belly laugh.

Rachida Dati, screenshot from Dimanche + clip

Such has been the case since Sunday afternoon when the former justice minister and now Member of the European Parliament was a guest on the afternoon current affairs programme Dimanche + on Canal +.

Sharp-eared viewers probably couldn't quite believe their ears as Dati turned an otherwise potentially rather dry subject "foreign investment funds" to one with sexual overtones as she inadvertently threw oral sex into her analysis.

"De plus en plus, ces fonds d'investissements étrangers n'ont pour seul objectif que la rentabilité financière à des taux excessifs," she said.

"Quand je vois certains qui réclament une rentabilité à 20-25%, avec une fellation quasi nulle..."

For those of you who might have missed it, or whose French is a bit ropey, the clue lies in the last five words, "avec un fellation quasi nulle..." and the French for inflation "inflation" and fellatio "fellation".

So what Dati actually said gave her response quite a different meaning from the one intended namely, "Increasingly, these foreign investment funds have only one objective, the financial return to excessive levels.

"When I see some of them looking for returns of 20 or 25 percent, at a time when fellatio is almost non-existent..."

Dati's oral blunder quickly made it on to the Net (you can see it here at 12-13 seconds) and raised more than just a smile in many quarters.


Lapsus: Dati confond "inflation" et... "fellation"
envoyé par LePostfr. - L'actualité du moment en vidéo.

But at least she has had the sense of humour to shrug off the incident with aplomb insisting that of course she hadn't confused the two words.

"I was just speaking a little too fast," she said on national radio on Monday morning.

"You can see that (when you look at the clip)", she added.

"But hey, if it makes everyone laugh..."

Rachida Dati counter-attacks

The former French justice minister, Rachida Dati, has given her side of the story to the recently televised clip in which, during a personal 'phone call, she appears to be expressing her frustrations about her job as a European parliamentarian and how she's convinced she won't see it through to the end of her mandate.

Interviewed on national radio on Tuesday, Dati counter-attacked, saying that the private telephone conversation should not have been included in the programme, and she found it regrettable that it had been used.

M6 : Dati contre-attaque
par Europe1fr

"I find it a little lamentable that a recorded conversation with a friend was transmitted," she said, adding that it had been at the end of a session and that the idea (of her participation in the documentary) had been not to reveal aspects of her private life.

"The clip only reflected one side of the conversation and was disconnected from the responses of my friend on the other end of the line," she continued.

As for the impression that might have been made that she was not necessarily taking the job seriously, Dati was adamant that since the recording (in September) she had attended every session of the parliament and had every right to be angry at the polemic that had surrounded the airing of the clip.

"What I said in no way reflected a lack of enthusiasm for the European parliament or the work I do here," she said.

"At no moment did I express any reservations or a lack of keenness for the European parliament.'

And just to make matters clear, Dati put the whole conversation into context; a return just after the summer break, her beginning to organise her daily schedule at the parliament and how to balance her private life with her professional one.

"The same thing wouldn't have happened to a man," she said.

"When I arrived here, my routine was followed and journalists were interested to see whether I was really present.

"I can also feel some irritation. I am also human," she added.

Ah well the polemic continues and one thing's for sure: Dati is capable of making headlines in France even if she's far away from what's happening on the domestic political front and has, as she claimed "never sought to attract the attention of the media."

Ahem.