So, who's "Lookin' after number one"?

Well, the title is not an allusion to the 1977 debut single of the same name by The Boomtown Rats.

Instead it's a tortured reference to one of the "big" political stories to have made the news in France over the past week.

"What could that be?" you might be asking (or not).

After all, it's a while since I let my fingers do the walking and brought you bang up-to-date with an objective look at the wonderful world that is French politics.

It's the upcoming European elections perhaps, and the somewhat "contrived" battery of polls which show French voters apparently giving the far-right Front National's (FN) anti-EU "programme" (sorry about the inverted commas - needs must) the thumbs up when everyone knows the big winner will really be the abstention rate.

Yawn.

Or Robert Ménard, one of the founders, and former secretary-general, of Reporters Sans Frontières who now, as mayor of the town of Béziers in the south of France (a post he won with the backing of the FN in March) has decided to ban - wait for it - the townsfolk from leaving their washing out on their balconies if it can be seen from the street?

Oh wait a moment. It'll only be between the hours of six o'clock in the morning and 10 pm. So it'll be all right to hang your undies out to dry during the night.

No. Too silly by far. Although a piece tracing Ménard's career from being a member of the Socialist party to becoming a self-declared "reactionary" in favour of the death penalty and against same-sex marriage might be interesting.

Maybe "Lookin' after number one!" alludes to Alain Delon, an...er...icon (is that the right word?) of the French cinema; a living legend whose brain seems to have become addled over the years (well he's getting on) and feels the need, and probably thinks his "star" status gives him the right, to express his social and political views in public.

After saying last year that same-sex couples should not be allowed to marry, that being gay was "against nature" and that "men were meant to woo women and not pick up other guys", it's perhaps little wonder that the 78-year-old has come out (entirely intentional turn of phrase) in support of Christine "homosexuality is an abomination" Boutin and her Force Vie movement in the European elections.

Nope. Delon and Boutin are far too busy looking after family values to be concerned about only themselves.

So "Lookin' after number one!" must be about Jean-François Copé's problems as the leader of the centre-right Union pour un mouvement populaire (Union for a popular movement, UMP).

You know the story, surely.

Copé's alleged "shady dealings" with UMP funds by handing out contracts to a communications company run by a couple of close buddies, which charged the party for events which never happened.

Ho hum. Looks as though it's all about to go ballistic next week when police will question three UMP parliamentarians who could well provide the proof that Copé is responsible for certain...er..."irregularities".

No, it's not that either.

Rather "Lookin' after number one!" refers to the former political scribe-turned politician  Henri Guaino and a parliamentary resolution he's tabling which shows that at the very least he has cojones.

Henri Guaino (screenshot "Bourdin direct" BFM TV, May 2014)

You see (and this is going to be a little complicated to explain) Guaino made remarks about the judge who has been investigating the dealings of Nicolas Sarkozy (to whom he was both a special advisor and political speechwriter) with French billionaire Liliane Bettencourt.

He (Guaino) accused Jean-Michel Gentil (the judge) of "dishonouring the justice system" in the manner in which he was questioning and investigating Sarkozy.

That comment clearly didn't sit well with l'Union syndicale des magistrats who brought a case against Guaino to the public prosecutor for "contempt of court and discrediting an act or judicial decision, under conditions likely to undermine the authority of the justice or independence".

Guaino's reaction? Well, he stood by everything he said.

But just to take out some extra "insurance", he's now asking his fellow parliamentarians to pass a resolution which would...." suspend the proceedings by the public prosecutor of Paris against Henri Guaino, MP for contempt of court..."

All right. That's more than enough French politics.

Here's Bob Geldof (pre KBE) and the rest of 'em

A top French interviewer gets a lesson in journalism from his (fellow journalist) wife

French broadcast journalists don't really have much of reputation for aggressive interviewing.

They often treat their political "guests" with proverbial kid gloves, allowing them to avoid the real question that has just been asked by refraining from posing a follow-up.

All right, let's be kind, It's hard to stop someone who clearly refuses to answer a question and chooses instead to read from the hymn sheet, ignoring the "facts" quoting statistics to bolster their argument and never, ever admitting they could be wrong.

And let's face it, there's nothing most politicians love more than pontificating...well, that and the sound of their own voice.

There are some exceptions of course among those actually "doing" the interviewing on the radio and the TV. And among them is undoubtedly Jean-Jacques Bourdin,

He has a daily radio programme on RMC, around 20 minutes of which includes a face-to-face interview with a guest,
 (usually, but not always a politician) on his or her views on some of the stories making the headlines.

The interview is also broadcast simultaneously on BFM TV, and the least that can be said is that the men and women who agree to sit across the table from Bourdin (and there are plenty of them) know exactly what to expect.

Jean-Jacques Bourdin (screenshot Nouvel Obs report)

Bourdin is direct, blunt, doesn't suffer fools and seldom allows his guests off the hook easily.

His somewhat intimidating style seems to bring out the best in many of his (political) guests and it's also an approach he uses throughout the whole of his four-hour radio programme dedicated to subjects making the headlines and during which he mixes interviews with "professionals" from whatever domain with 'phone calls, emails and text messages from listeners.

Nothing seems to faze the man and he appears to be the one in control.

Well most of the time that is.

Recently though he had his knuckles well and truly rapped, albeit briefly, by the only person really capable of doing so. His wife, Anne Nivat.

Bourdin called upon Nivat in her capacity as a journalist who has covered conflicts in Chechnya, Iraq and Afghanistan for her comments on the Volgograd bombings on December 29 and 30.

Nivat knows her stuff when it comes to Russian politics - if you have any doubts just take a look at her Wikipedia entry - and was clearly none too pleased with her husband's rather shoddy approach to the subject.

Right from the start of the interview it was clear that Bourdin was not exactly at his confident best, admitting that, as Nivat was his wife, he would tutoyer her but, habit getting the best of him, he slipped into the formal vouvoyer.

"After the first bombing the decapited head of a suicide bomber was found," he began, only to be interrupted by Nivat.

"A suicide bomber - that's what you say, because nobody knows anything at the moment,"

"You're simply repeating a newswire from Agence France Presse which is in turn repeating the propoganda of the Russian government," she continued.

"At the moment we don't have enough information. We don't know anything. It could also be a man who was an accomplice."


Jean-Jacques Bourdin se fait houspiller par sa... par Gentside

Bourdin continued his unintentional floundering by opening the door for another lesson on Russian politics by trying to move the interview along briskly with, "Nobody seems to talk much about the Caucasus. It has apparently all been 'settled'but nothing has been 'settled'..."

"No, but we no longer speak of the Caucasus because the media (in other words you and your colleagues) choose to talk about other things," replied Nivat.

"Just because we (the media) no longer talk about the Caucasus, doesn't mean that everything has been 'settled'."

Ah yes. There's nothing like being put in your place by your nearest and dearest.

Little surprise then, that Bourdin appeared to thank his wife a little too hurriedly before moving on to the next item.

There's a lesson in the tale somewhere - and it's not just one of journalism.

And, dear reader, just a reminder of how important independent journalism is and how dangerous it can be to fall into the trap of rehashing what politicians might want us all to believe...courtesy of the latest campaign spot from Reporters sans frontières.