Satire - France seen by foreigners and the French

Perhaps you recall a recent post here, "Europe according to bigots".

It featured satirical maps by Bulgarian-born graphic designer Yanko Tsvetkov and illustrated how the continent was viewed by others around the world by relying on clichés and stereotypes.

There's a similar set of maps doing the rounds concentrating specifically on La Belle France - as it's seen not only from abroad but also by the French.

Of course they're not to be taken seriously, but hidden behind the caricature isn't there just a slight element of truth?

For the Japanese, the country is portrayed as just one big tourist destination while the Chinese are only interested in Paris and its suburbs because both give them the chance to get their hands on businesses at a knock-down rate.

From the French point of view, there's one showing environmentalist and anti-globalisation campaigner José Bové's view of a country covered in McDonald's outlets for example.

And another emphasises Parisians' blinkered view that the City of Lights is the centre of the Universe and anything else is...well provincial.

Here are a few screengrabs showing UK and US views as well as those of some French.

Click on the images to enlarge

(screengrab from wikistrike.com)

(screengrab from wikistrike.com)

For the rest you can go here.

Europe...according to bigots

Now this should make you smile.

The maps reproduced here are a timely reminder, given the state of the Eurozone and the protracted attempts to deal with the debt crisis, of just how much we all generalise about the characteristics of other countries.

Europe according to France (creative commons: alphadesigner)

They're the work of Bulgarian-born graphic designer Yanko Tsvetkov who uses the pseudonym alphadesigner because, as he says, "that usually makes people think what I do is really important. That's why I chose it."

Europe according to France, Germany, Britain, the United States and others are part of the appropriately entitled project which has produced Mapping Sterotypes, the ultimate bigot's calendar of Europe.

Of course they're purely satirical and rely on clichés and stereotypes.

But isn't there also a revealing element of truth in showing us how ignorant and intolerant we often are of one another?

It helps if you know your European geography a bit...er...on the other hand, perhaps it doesn't matter a jot.

The 2012 calendar is available online now, although sadly it doesn't include Berlusconi's "vision" but there again you could alway order that as a tee-shirt, mug or poster.


Take a look at alphadesigner's site. Who knows, you might even find the ideal (dare it be said) Christmas present for your (least) favourite bigot.

Europe according to Britain

Europe according to Britain (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to the USA

Europe according to the United States (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to Spain

Europe according to Spain (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to Germany

Europe according to Germany (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to Greece

Europe according to Greece (creative commons: alphadesigner)

And finally, Europe according to Berlusconi

Europe according to Berlusconi (creative commons: alphadesigner)

France's European minister Laurent Wauquiez's "17-member" Schengen howler

Once again it appears as though a French minister hasn't quite got a grasp of the essentials of the job.

This time around it's the minister for European affairs, Laurent Wauquiez - who clearly needs to brush up his knowledge on the portfolio for which he is responsible...Europe.

Laurent Wauquiez (screenshot from BFM TV interview)

When asked during a television interview how many countries belonged to Schengen, the 36-year-old managed to make a complete mess of his answer - and look a fool in the process.

Schengen is the treaty which "abolishes internal borders, enabling passport-free movement between a large number of European countries" and it has been in the news a lot recently

On Tuesday the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, and the Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, jointly requested that it be revised to deal with what they see as an overwhelming number of North Africans (Tunisians) arriving in Europe.

Appearing on BFM TV's early morning show Bourdin Direct on Wednesday, Wauquiez was slipped a question by the journalist Christophe Jakubyszyn which was seemed almost aimed at tripping him up.

And Wauquiez duly obliged.

Laurent Wauquiez and Christophe Jakubyszyn (screenshot from BFM TV interview)

"You're the minister for European affairs," Jakubyszyn said to Wauquiez in that style French journalists seem to love so much, almost assuming their guest have forgotten what daytime job they held.

"How many countries are there in Schengen?"

"17," replied Wauquiez without a moment's hesitation

"22," was Jakubyszyn's immediate response.

"There are four that aren't members of the European Union but are part of Schengen; Iceland, Norway, Switzerland and Liechtenstein."

All right so Wauquiez's mistake is perhaps understandable as it's easy to confuse the 27-strong EU with Schengen.

But not all members of the EU have signed up to Schengen.

And just to complicate matters a little more, as Jakubyszyn pointed out, not all Schengen signatories are EU members.

So perhaps Wauquiez could be forgiven - except that he IS minister for European affairs, and really should know these things.

There again perhaps Jakubyszyn's reply wasn't exactly clear either.

22 refers to the number of EU countries that are part of Schengen, with three other non-EU countries - Iceland, Norway and Switzerland - also fully fledged and Liechtenstein "sort-of-fully-fledged" to the area (this is Europe where NOTHING is ever as clear as it could be).

Take a look at the European Commission Home Affairs site and you'll discover just how many countries officially belong to Schengen.

Then go away and have a very stiff drink.



Wauquiez had the good manners to thank Jakubyszyn for correcting him once the interview had finished.

Marks and Spencer planning return to France

It's news to fair warm the cockles of any expat Brit's heart - no matter how misty their memories or tenuous their ties with Blighty might have become.

Oh yes, and the French surely won't be too disgruntled either.

British retailer Marks and Spencer (M&S) is reportedly on the brink of returning to France.


And what a comeback!

According to the French financial daily La Tribune, M&S boss Marc Bolland is close to a deal to take over the spot at 100 Avenue des Champs-Élysées in Paris currently occupied by the clothes retailer Esprit.

The paper reports that Esprit staff were told of the decision last week and that they'll be taken on when M&S opens its doors on "la plus belle avenue du monde".

Apparently not all of them were exactly thrilled at the prospect with one of them telling the paper, "We're very disappointed, we feel cheated."

Well there's no pleasing some people perhaps.

M&S is remaining tight-lipped about the whole thing at the moment and refusing to comment on what it calls "rumour and speculation regarding stores".

But as the Britain's Daily Telegraph points out, Bolland opened the door to a possible return across the Channel in releasing plans last November as to how the company intends to "grow business" as its website puts it, over the next five years.

"While we have 337 stores in 41 territories overseas, we are essentially a UK retailer that exports," he said.

"We have an opportunity to move on from this and become a more international retailer, reducing our dependency on the UK economic cycle."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/retailandconsumer/8293716/Marks-and-Spencer-plans-return-to-Paris.html

M&S shut up shop at all of its 38 European stores, including 18 in France, in 2001 with the loss of 3,350 jobs across the continent.

In March of that year the then-chairman, Luc Van de Velde, sent the company's 1,700 employees in France an email, informing them of the decision.

He's Belgian - which maybe explains his lack of manners!

Rachida Dati - hardly a model European parliamentarian

It's surely a tough life being a European parliamentarian especially when you weren't that keen on the job in the first place and now find yourself having to spend your time shuttling between Brussels and Strasbourg.

There are those interminable debates to attend, innumerable meetings to show up at, issues that might be a little (or a lot) out of your league when the micro is thrust your way for an "informed" opinion and all that while keeping an eye on what's happening back home where you really, really want to be.

But if you're Rachida Dati, the former French justice minister (and current mayor of the VII arrondissement in Paris), it's simple to dispel any rumours that the whole thing might be getting you down and you're as "happy as larry" doing what you're doing and being where you are.

Simply agree to let the cameras follow you around for a day and bingo, everyone can see that you're really up to the job and having the time of your life.

Ahem.

But of course it didn't quite turn out that way - perhaps because it isn't the case for Dati - as viewers of M6's weekly news magazine "66 minutes" discovered last Sunday.

A clip from the programme (filmed in September) shows her, seemingly forgetting that she still has an open micro attached, making a personal 'phone call during which she expresses her true feelings about the job and how she's convinced she won't last the course.

Rachida Dati craque au PE
par liberation

"I'm in the parliamentary chamber in Strasbourg," we hear her saying.

"I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted," she repeats.

"I think there'll be some sort of drama before I finish my mandate," Dati continues.

"I have to stay here because there are some journalists around and then there's the vote on confirming (José Manuel) Barroso" re-election.

"When you're in Strasbourg they can see whether or not you're voting."

Oops.

The clip first seen by a limited audience - namely those watching the programme - has inevitably found its way on to the Net.

Of course Dati never really wanted to stand for the European parliament in the first place, and even during the campaign showed herself to have less-than-a-firm grasp of issues...a trait she repeated recently when asked about European objectives for the climate change summit in Copenhagen and answered confidently by saying that it was "to reduce the temperature by two degrees Celsius."

But what exactly was it the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, said earlier this year when he "encouraged" Dati to stand in June's European parliamentary election - after (the then junior minister for human rights) Rama Yade refused?

Oh yes.

"The way France can best maintain its role in Europe is by sending the 'best' to the European parliament."

Who's bothering to vote in the European elections?

June 4-7, depending on where you live in the European Union, will see the 27-nation bloc's circa 380 million eligible voters go to the polls in what's billed as the "biggest trans-national elections in history".

Well that's the theory at least, because while there are reasons aplenty for everyone to get out there and exercise their right to vote, it's unlikely to happen.

Economic growth, unemployment and inflation might well be the major themes both the outgoing parliamentarians and national governments want to be at the centre of the upcoming election, but one thing alone is likely to characterise the vote.

Apathy.

All polls indicate that this, the seventh time EU voters will have gone to the polls to elect a European parliament of 736 members (MEPs), promises to be one with a low turnout.

According to the latest Eurobarometer survey, only 34 percent say they intend to vote, with 15 per cent saying they won't vote under any circumstances.

A recent report in the New York Times says that the European parliament itself has "gone on the offensive" in trying to encourage people to vote, but there's still little sign that the campaign is having the desired effect.

In fact the call - generally speaking - seems to be falling on deaf ears.

Given the powers that the new parliament will have in terms of the potential for rejecting or amending proposals made by the European Commission, and the influence it has on legislation affecting the everyday lives of a majority of its citizens, it's perhaps more than worrying that governments throughout the EU can't drum up a little more enthusiasm among the electorate.

Worrying, but perhaps not surprising as, again according to Eurobarometer, so few people actually know who their MEP is - 68 per cent.

There's plenty of information out there apparently. It just doesn't seem to be hitting home - not even in France, one of the founder members of the EU.

It's barely six months since France held the six-month rotating presidency of the EU, and it'll be returning 72 MEPs to serve for five years, but only 44 per cent of the French say they intend to vote, according to a recent poll published by Ipsos.

The French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, is out on the stump campaigning, and there are some high profile cabinet ministers standing for election, including Michel Barnier (agriculture) and Rachida Dati (justice) but the enthusiasm of the electorate would seem to be, well less than overwhelming.

All right so there was a brief flash of media interest last week when the opposition Socialist party maintained that the governing centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) party was using a televised spot aimed at encouraging the French to vote, as political propaganda.

In other words the government, it was claimed, was trying to persuade the electorate to cast their ballots for the UMP, and the Socialist party made a complaint to the Conseil supérieur de l’audiovisuel (CSA) calling for the clip be suspended.

The CSA rejected the request.

Elections Européennes - 7 juin 2009
by SIG-PM

But television schedules have hardly been dominated by stories stressing the supposed importance of the election.

And one final thing, which might just be anecdotal.

It's now just two weeks before voters in France go to the polls - and how much info has popped through my letter box?

None - absolutely nothing.

Maybe 50 kilometres from the French capital is of little interest to the parties fielding candidates.

It surely comes as something of a surprise in an election in which not only are high level candidates heading the lists for the Ile de France region, the area surrounding and including Paris, and but one that's also, so we're constantly being told by politicians, important for the future of the 27-nation bloc.

If that's a pattern being repeated throughout the whole of the EU, then there's perhaps little wonder that so few will be making the effort to cast their vote.

Rachida Dati giggles her way to the European elections

Earlier this week the French justice minister, Rachida Dati put in, what was by all accounts, a less-than-convincing appearance at a question and answer session during a meeting of young members of the centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) party

The subject - Europe - as Dati is standing as number two in the list for Ile de France (the region of Paris and its surrounding area) for the party in the upcoming European parliamentary elections.

But was Dati just "playing a game" as she insists or did she in fact not know how to answer the questions?

To begin with, Dati turned up 90 minutes late and the way in which she answered some of the questions gave many commentators the impression that she hadn't really prepared in the first place.

Here's a sample

First question was one that didn't cause too many problems,

"After Paris, which is the most beautiful capital in Europe?" someone asked.

"After Paris.....Rome," replied Dati with intermittent giggles.

And then the question, "The most beautiful European monument outside of France?"

(Giggles) "I'll 'phone a friend," she responded.

And then with a questioning glance to the moderator, "Sagrada Família in Barcelona?" Followed by more giggles, smiles and an appreciative round of applause from the audience.

Later on though the questions became more difficult, and Dati's answers accordingly more incomprehensible.

When asked whether she was more in favour of wind power or the Iter project (the International Thermonuclear Experimental Reactor) based in the south of France, Dati replied, "I'll say that 77 per cent of our energy comes from nuclear - that's right isn't it?"

A pause followed during which someone from the audience reminded her that it was "77 per cent of electricity (in France) and not energy."

"Electricity...you said energy," she replied to the initial questioner.

More giggles and then, "So nuclear, yes. And then of course it's necessary to invest in research for sustainable energy, which includes wind power," she continued.

"That's right isn't it?"

If that answer hadn't been entirely convincing, there was apparently more confusion to come later when Dati was asked whether she thought Europe occupied itself too much with international affairs.

Her reply was......well you judge.

"It gets involved in what we give it to be involved in. And then it gets involved in things we give it to be involved in with the people who are able to carry out the affairs with which they're involved," she replied turning to the moderator to check whether she had answered the question well.

Immediately after the meeting as the French media began reporting what had happened, the Socialist party described her performance as "the offhandedness of a minister in disgrace" whereas the UMP insisted it was a moment of "relaxation" in front of the party's young members.

There was no official statement from the office of the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy.

And Dati, what did she have to say?

She claimed the meeting was supposed to be in the format of that popular television quiz, "Qui veut gagner des millions" (Who wants to be a millionaire) and she had only been playing her role.

"I was invited by the youth membership of the party to participate in a parody of the show," she said on national radio on Thursday.

"The idea was to take that tone in answering certain questions. So for example when there were questions about football, that's what I did," she continued.

"When it comes to energy, I know the sector perfectly well," she maintained.

"What we had organised with the members present was that I would ask to 'call a friend' - the audience - responding to the question as though I had been given the response. It was a parody."

And as far as the claim that she hadn't been particularly well prepared for the meeting Dati said, "I'm out there campaigning practically every day, except of course when I have ministerial duties to perform.

"The whole polemic doesn't interest me, and it never has," she continued.

"I think politics is like life and sometimes it's important to relax and laugh."

Dati is number two on the UMP list for the European parliamentary elections for Ile de France behind a fellow cabinet member, the agriculture minister, Michel Barnier.

If as expected they're both elected on June 7, they will both have to stand down from their governmental posts.

Européennes : Rachida Dati s'embourbe lors d'un meeting
Uploaded by Europe1fr

Regulatory bollox

Blesséd be the European Union and its real policy makers.

Tony, Nic, Angie, Lech, José and others might think they’re the decision makers. After all they grab all the headlines for themselves, wrangling into the wee hours of the morning over the institutional future of the glorious 27.

But the real powerhouse grinds away inexorably in the background, day after day, away from the glare of the cameras. The Commission, with its layer upon layer of expertise, tantalising bureaucracy and mountains of draft recommendations, revised drafts, final drafts, revised final drafts…..and all in a linguistic rainbow incomprehensible to those “outside the know”. The months and years of fine tuning after the Blairs of this world have finally (and thankfully) disappeared from the political stage translate into another Brussels directive guaranteed to send one member state into an apoplectic fit long after the show is over.

This time it’s energy pricing and so-called “liberalisation” or “deregulation” of prices and suppliers that is proving to be the proverbial spanner. Britain, Germany and others might already have got their heads around the problem, but France is only just about to

From July 1 consumers here will be able to choose which supplier they get their gas and electricity from.

Fabulous news. There will be freedom of choice and of course lower prices for everyone if we’re to believe the blurb. We can shop around for the best and greenest deal saving our purse strings and the planet at the same time.

So why then is has the country’s most respected consumer magazine “Que Choisir” actually recommended doing absolutely nothing?

Well they’ve have based their advice on the experience of industry and business (which are after all the biggest energy users) over the past couple of years. Back in 2004 the “professionals” were encouraged to sign new contracts (with the very same suppliers of course such as EDF) at seductive levels lower than the regulatory prices. €30 per megawatt hour rather than the regulatory or fixed price of €33. Big numbers when we’re talking big users of course.

But by the end of 2005 and 2006 the professionals found themselves shelling out mega bucks for their mega watts - €60 and then more than €70, while EDF were raking in huge profits and literally laughing all the way to the bank. And the real knife in the back for those that had initially opted out of regulated prices was that they couldn’t opt back in again!

There was so much heartache and belly griping from the Captains that parliament finally gave in and allowed those who wanted the chance to return to regulated pricing.

There is however to be no such period of grace or understanding for the private consumer. Opting out will be a definitive move with no chance of being welcomed back into the regulatory fold – ever. And that’s final (and brutal). Little surprise then that “Que Choisir” is promoting a strategy of “wait and see”. After all nobody can actually be forced to change. Ah the delights of liberalising the utilities. Isn’t it just always the consumer that benefits most?

So while we listen to the latest yawnathon – and let’s face it, who really understands all that baloney anyway? We can remain rest assured that Brussels will shortly and quietly be churning out another globally agreed directive based on the premise that at one size fits all.