German skit of Merkozy "Rescue summit or Euros for No One"

Now it definitely helps if you speak German for a video that has become something of a hit on YouTube ever since it was first posted on December 28.

Merkozy (screenshot from YouTube clip)

It's a parody of a comedy skit broadcast twice every New Year's Eve on German television.

The original is "Dinner for One", a 1963 sketch featuring British comedian Freddie Frinton as James the butler and May Warren as Miss Sophie, who has sadly outlived all her friends but insists on celebrating her 90th birthday party in style...with places set for each of her guests.

Frinton serves each absent guest a drink with every course and raises a toast to the birthday girl on behalf of those invited.

The result is predictable. Frinton becomes ever tipsier until the final scene in which he is about to escort Warren upstairs with the "hilarious" lines,

"Same procedure as last year Miss Sophie?" asks Frinton.

"The same procedure as every year James," replies Warren.

"Well, I'll do my very best," responds Frinton with a saucy wink and a "Good night."

Perhaps it's a German thing, but it has most definitely become an annual institution.

Some bright spark at ARD, one of Germany's two national public broadcasters, though decided to update the whole thing and make it more...well relevant to a modern-day audience.

Satirist Udo Eling of the channel's Morgenmagazin decided to superimpose the heads of French president Nicolas Sarkozy on James the Butler and...well you've probably guessed the other "character" - Germany's chancellor, Angela Merkel as Miss Sophie.

The dialogue is different of course focussing on the relationship of the two who're often collectively called "Merkozy" in the media.

And "absent friends" include the former prime ministers Greece and Spain, Giorgios Papandreou and José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero as well as UK prime minister David Cameron. Italy's Silvio Berlusconi wasn't invited.

The last line of the parody which has Sarkozy fawning to Merkel, described earlier in the sketch as the "only real statesman Europe has to offer" has the French president asking as they mount the staircase, "Madame Merkel, this time without Eurobonds?"

"Yes of course," she replies.

"As always without Eurobonds."

To which Sarkozy responds, "I'll give you my Triple A Madame Merkel."

Well, maybe it sounds funnier in German.

Enjoy?



And the original "Dinner for One" just in case you're up for it.

In memory of Silvio Berlusconi

Europe...according to bigots

Now this should make you smile.

The maps reproduced here are a timely reminder, given the state of the Eurozone and the protracted attempts to deal with the debt crisis, of just how much we all generalise about the characteristics of other countries.

Europe according to France (creative commons: alphadesigner)

They're the work of Bulgarian-born graphic designer Yanko Tsvetkov who uses the pseudonym alphadesigner because, as he says, "that usually makes people think what I do is really important. That's why I chose it."

Europe according to France, Germany, Britain, the United States and others are part of the appropriately entitled project which has produced Mapping Sterotypes, the ultimate bigot's calendar of Europe.

Of course they're purely satirical and rely on clichés and stereotypes.

But isn't there also a revealing element of truth in showing us how ignorant and intolerant we often are of one another?

It helps if you know your European geography a bit...er...on the other hand, perhaps it doesn't matter a jot.

The 2012 calendar is available online now, although sadly it doesn't include Berlusconi's "vision" but there again you could alway order that as a tee-shirt, mug or poster.


Take a look at alphadesigner's site. Who knows, you might even find the ideal (dare it be said) Christmas present for your (least) favourite bigot.

Europe according to Britain

Europe according to Britain (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to the USA

Europe according to the United States (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to Spain

Europe according to Spain (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to Germany

Europe according to Germany (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to Greece

Europe according to Greece (creative commons: alphadesigner)

And finally, Europe according to Berlusconi

Europe according to Berlusconi (creative commons: alphadesigner)

France's European minister Laurent Wauquiez's "17-member" Schengen howler

Once again it appears as though a French minister hasn't quite got a grasp of the essentials of the job.

This time around it's the minister for European affairs, Laurent Wauquiez - who clearly needs to brush up his knowledge on the portfolio for which he is responsible...Europe.

Laurent Wauquiez (screenshot from BFM TV interview)

When asked during a television interview how many countries belonged to Schengen, the 36-year-old managed to make a complete mess of his answer - and look a fool in the process.

Schengen is the treaty which "abolishes internal borders, enabling passport-free movement between a large number of European countries" and it has been in the news a lot recently

On Tuesday the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, and the Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, jointly requested that it be revised to deal with what they see as an overwhelming number of North Africans (Tunisians) arriving in Europe.

Appearing on BFM TV's early morning show Bourdin Direct on Wednesday, Wauquiez was slipped a question by the journalist Christophe Jakubyszyn which was seemed almost aimed at tripping him up.

And Wauquiez duly obliged.

Laurent Wauquiez and Christophe Jakubyszyn (screenshot from BFM TV interview)

"You're the minister for European affairs," Jakubyszyn said to Wauquiez in that style French journalists seem to love so much, almost assuming their guest have forgotten what daytime job they held.

"How many countries are there in Schengen?"

"17," replied Wauquiez without a moment's hesitation

"22," was Jakubyszyn's immediate response.

"There are four that aren't members of the European Union but are part of Schengen; Iceland, Norway, Switzerland and Liechtenstein."

All right so Wauquiez's mistake is perhaps understandable as it's easy to confuse the 27-strong EU with Schengen.

But not all members of the EU have signed up to Schengen.

And just to complicate matters a little more, as Jakubyszyn pointed out, not all Schengen signatories are EU members.

So perhaps Wauquiez could be forgiven - except that he IS minister for European affairs, and really should know these things.

There again perhaps Jakubyszyn's reply wasn't exactly clear either.

22 refers to the number of EU countries that are part of Schengen, with three other non-EU countries - Iceland, Norway and Switzerland - also fully fledged and Liechtenstein "sort-of-fully-fledged" to the area (this is Europe where NOTHING is ever as clear as it could be).

Take a look at the European Commission Home Affairs site and you'll discover just how many countries officially belong to Schengen.

Then go away and have a very stiff drink.



Wauquiez had the good manners to thank Jakubyszyn for correcting him once the interview had finished.