"Call me maybe" - the Nicolas Sarkozy version

The past few months hasn't been the most inspiring - politically-speaking - in France.

(screenshot from Les Guignols video)

Sure there was the Trierweiler Twittergate affair early in to François Hollande's "normal" presidency.


And there have been a couple of policy decisions since that will surely have left those who voted for Hollande in May and the Socialist party in June somewhat...er...perplexed.

Same-sex marriage and adoption by couples of the same sex is still very much a live topic but it's probably taking longer to implement than many supporters had imagined and, let's face it, Hollande has hardly "led" the debate.

More recently of course there has been the balls-up over one of Hollande's principal (and for many, most controversial) election promises, to raise to 75 per cent the tax rate for those earning over €1 million per year.

Somehow those responsible for drafting the legislation and writing the budget failed to notice that a household in which both partners earned just under one million (say €900,000 each) per year would not be subject to the new tax but one in which just a single person earned over €1 million (and the other didn't work, for example) would.

Duh!

Someone overlooked the fact that taxing by person rather than household was unfair. The constitutional council didn't though, so it's back to prime minister Jean-Marc Ayrault's government to get it right.

The super rich can breath again...for the moment.

Apart from that - nowt much, other than the Dallas-type leadership contest for the opposition Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a popular movement, UMP) which gradually became more than a little tedious.

No. French politics hasn't really been that enthralling of late. Well, not in the way it used to be.

(screenshot from Les Guignols video)

Still, there's always hope that things might perk up a bit for 2013, especially with rumours that Ségolène Royal (yes, hasn't she been quiet recently?) could well be making a (welcome) return to the frontline with a post in government (word has it that "justice" is has been Seggers-marked)

Anyway, just to leave you with a grin on your face and a reminder of how things used to be (without necessarily implying they were any better) here's a video from those marvels of parody, Les Guignols de l'info on Canal +.

It's their spin back in October on one of the year's biggest international hits, "Call me maybe" by Carly-Rae Jepsen,  only Les Guignols wanted to make clear how dull things had become for news editors, journalists and anchors alike in France ever since you-know who took early retirement.

Smile as you sing along karaoke-style and spot a host of TV news personalities  from Claire Chazal to David Pujadas, Michel Denisot to Harry Roselmack, Nicolas Sarkozy himself relaxing in the jacuzzi with a cameo guitar-strumming appearance from Carla, and Nadine Morano looking as manic as ever.

Enjoy and...Happy New Year

Les Guignols du 04/10/2012 - Rappelez Sarkozy

Friday's French music break - Calogero, "La fin de la fin du monde"

Friday's French music break this week is far from being a recent song, but over the past couple of weeks it has been receiving a fair bit of air play - and not just because it's a spirited little number with a catchy riff.

It's the 2009 single "La fin de la fin du monde" by Calogero, taken from his album of the same year "L'embellie"

Mayan predictions aside, the sound is quite typical of Calogero's "pop rock" musical style as a solo artist.

Calogero (screenshot YouTube video)

He has had a string of hits over the years such as the 2001 "En apesanteur" "covered recently by Shy'm), his 2003 homage to Soeur Emmanuelle "Yalla", "Face à la mer" in 2004 with hip hop artist and rapper Passi and another duet in 2007 with fellow composer and singer, Stanislas, "La débâcle des sentiments".

Calogero's bio on his official site doesn't exactly tell you much about the man (although there is quite a revealing video interview which focuses mainly on his new project "Circus") apart from promoting his most recent album and tour in which he re-interpreted some of his own songs with a symphony orchestra.

But pop over to the ever faithful and admittedly not always entirely accurate Wikipedia and you'll discover a rather sketchy profile of a man whose, "Moving lyrics and tender voice (in other words he can sing but it's nothing extraordinary) have made him one of France's top pop/rock singers."

For a more complete profile you can check out Radio France International's biography of Calogero (in English) or the TV5 Monde's archives (in French)

It's perhaps not so much the "tender voice" that has guaranteed Calogero a faithful fan base, but rather the instantly appealing and memorable melodies he composes as well as lyrics that are far from being banal.

Both have contributed to his success and helped him pick up the best male singer award at the 2004 Victoires de la Musique - the French equivalent of the Grammys.

Next up for the 41-year-old is the "Circus" project: a band of sorts made up of fellow established artists, Stanislas, Philippe Uminski, Elsa Fourlon and Karen Brunon.

If you want to see them in concert watch out for them next year when they'll be performing songs from their debut album written by the likes of Jean-Jacques Goldman (don't barf - even if you don't like him, you have to admit he's talented and successful), Dominique A and Marc Lavoine.

There again we might not all live that long...which brings us back nicely to this week's Friday's French Music break, "La fin de la fin du monde".

See ya around again soon...or maybe not.

Star Academy's Manika Auxire - the voice that could sink a thousand ships

A couple of familiar formats have returned to French TV screens recently and both of them are searching, or supposedly acting as launching pads, for musical "talent".

Star Academy, the show that "discovered" Jenifer, Nolwenn Leroy and Magalie Vaé (who?) during its nine seasons on TF1, and the Pop Idol-inspired Nouvelle Star which over eight years on M6 gave France the likes of Christophe Willem, Julien Doré, Amel Bent and Jonatan Cerrada (another "who"?) are back after an unregrettable absence.

Manika Auxire (screenshot profile on Star Academy)

You might have a little difficulty finding either of them as there was a reason why TF1 and M6 cancelled the shows.

But that hasn't stopped two of the country's digital terrestrial television (TNT) channels, repackaging clapped-out concepts in an effort to attract viewers.

While Nouvelle Star is still in the audition phase on the newly-relaunched D8, owned by the Canal + Group, Star Academy is well underway on NRJ 12.

There have already been two live prime time shows: the first to introduce the contestants to the viewing public, and the second to begin the process of weekly elimination.

And on the evidence so far, the least that can be said is there's far from being a bottomless pit of musical talent in France.

Well, that can surely be the only conclusion to be drawn by the inclusion among the 14 Star Academy competitors of a certain Manika Auxire.

The 22-year-old put in a show-stopping performance of the Carly-Rae Jepsen smash hit "Call me maybe" (Jepsen was herself the product of a TV talent show in Canada) during the opening programme.

Obviously not content with brutalising Jepsen's song, the former Miss Poitou-Charentes (aha...the real reason for her inclusion - to add "une touche de glamour" to the proceedings?) found herself among the three nominees threatened with elimination the following week and promptly massacred another tune...Zaz's 2010 hit, "Je veux".

Now for those of you with strong constitutions, you can hear just how talentless Auxire really is - well at least when it comes to singing.

Here's her version of "Call me maybe" followed by Jepsen's just for comparison.





And if you're a real glutton for punishment, speed through the whole of the second programme to discover her - thankfully - last TV warbling performance (for now) at one hour 21 minutes and 47 seconds - almost two minutes of aural torture.

Or you could always listen to Zaz.



A word of warning. Dowloading the full replay programme will take a while, so you've more than enough time to peel the spuds, wash the kitchen floor or wrap some Christmas presents.

But if you have both the patience and the masochistic tendency to hear how awful she is, you might want to dull the pain with a very stiff something-or-other beforehand.

The woman can't sing - in tune at least - and perhaps it's not surprising the French have the expression "chante comme une casserole", although that's being a little unkind to saucepans.