French humorist's dream of Sarkozy plane crash

An aeroplane crashes and all aboard are killed.

In total 41 people die in the accident, including the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, and all but three of this country's government ministers.

It's a "dream" the French humorist Stéphane Guillon had earlier this week and one he related during his early morning slot on national public radio, France Inter.

Black humour, supposedly, based of course on the accident that took place last weekend in Smolensk in which the Polish president, Lech Kaczynski, his wife and several of the country's high-ranking officials were killed.

Guillion begins his piece telling listeners how traumatised he had been by Kaczynski's death and how that was the starting point for him to relate a dream he had in which "Sarkozy had been the victim of a similar accident."

The 46-year-old then throws himself into a description of an imagined commentary on national television of those waiting for the arrival of the president's coffin.

He "treats" listeners to an account of the sight of the two former wives of the French president (Marie-Dominique Culioli and Cécilia Ciganer-Albéniz) comforting the current first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy who is "Dressed in black in an outfit made the previous night by designer John Galliano; her face masked as a timely symbol of the country's efforts to pass a law to ban the burqa."

He recounts the arrival of the former prime minister and potential centre-right rival to Sarkozy in the (real) 2012 presidential race, Dominique de Villepin, already "In campaigning mode to succeed the recently deceased" as well as a clutch of possible opposition Socialist party contenders present and waiting for Sarkozy's coffin to be taken off the 'plane.

Among the others who had died in the crash, Guillon tells us, were the interior minister and Sarkozy's long-time friend, Brice Hortefeux (he makes the sign of the cross as he mentions his name), the justice minister, Michèle Alliot-Marie, the industry minister Christian Estrosi and the environment minister Jean-Louis Borloo.

A special mention is made of the "sad loss" of one particular target of Guillon's attacks, the immigration minister Eric Besson (again the humorist makes the sign of the cross).

And then the sombre strains of the Garde républicaine strike up as Sarkozy's coffin - the size of a child's - is taken off the 'plane,

It's at his point that the humorist is awoken from his dream "Screaming and convinced that Sarkozy had a twin brother," he said. "Just as the Polish president had."

Guillon has a reputation for hard-hitting humour and he's definitely not frightened to take aim at prominent political figures no matter what their particular hue.

Certainly his spot drove home the enormity of what happened in Smolensk, and especially its impact on Poles, to listeners in France.

After all when the imaginary list of those aboard includes a number of household names (in this country) it's hard not to feel moved.

But was his commentary, all in the name of entertainment with a political edge, appropriate under the circumstances or did it make light of a real tragedy by creating an imagined one?

You can hear and see the full "performance" in the accompanying video - in French of course.

It brought a number of reactions (from those who left comments on the video) ranging from many who found Guillon's chronicle "amusing" or an "essential part of the freedom of expression" to those who felt that he had "overstepped the mark".

Judge for yourselves whether this was indeed "humour" or "bad taste".


Le crash de Nicolas Sarkozy
envoyé par franceinter. - Cliquez pour voir plus de vidéos marrantes.

A "perfect" summer job

There were probably plenty of disappointed applicants last year when Briton Ben Southall beat out over 34,000 others to become caretaker of an Australian tropical island for six months in the so-called "Best job in the world".

But now a similar position of sorts is up for grabs in France, albeit for a limited period and with a distinctive - how to put it? - French touch perhaps.

It's the "Summer job of 2010" (le "job de l'été 2010") offered by the tourist office of the seaside town of Les Sables-d'Olonne and involves - among other things - spreading suntan lotion on holidaymakers: a six week stint which will earn the lucky recruits €5,000.

Photo, Payton Chung from Chicago, USA - from Wikipedia

Actually there isn't just one position as a "creamer" (yep that really is the name the organisers have dreamt up for the job) available but two, as François Boche the director of the town's tourist office explained on national radio.

And the successful candidates won't just be rubbing lotion into sunbathers who've perhaps forgotten to bring along some protection.

"We're looking for a young woman and a young man and applicants will be judged on their ability to get along with members of the public," he said.

"And they'll also need to have some knowledge of health issues and in particular the need to wear sun protection," he continued.

"As well as applying lotion to sunbathers, the successful candidates will be offering advice and information on sun protection," he added.

"And they'll be handing out free samples from the company sponsoring the whole operation."

Ah yes. The "Summer job of 2010" isn't just a public service aimed at increasing awareness of the need to protect against the sun's rays, but also a marketing strategy, and Boche admits that the relatively high pay - €5,000 for just six weeks work - is also a way for the town to promote itself.

So how do all those aspiring "creamers" who want to spend six weeks in July and August on the beaches of the western coast of France actually go about applying?

Well first up they'll have to submit a 45-second video (as well as communications skills and "some knowledge of health issues" they'll presumably also need to be attractive) and a brief curriculum vitæ outlining why they want the job, online.



A site has been set up specifically for applications.

They're then encouraged to mobilise support among their "network of friends online through Facebook, Twitter or email" because the initial voting process is open to anyone logging on to the site.

In June, the 10 candidates with the highest number of votes will then appear before a jury which will choose the two winners.

Just for the record, and for those of you who might be popping along to the beach at Les Sables-d'Olonne some time over the summer and aren't too thrilled at the thought of a complete stranger offering to apply suntan lotion, Boche has a few words of comfort.

"To avoid any problems, the two 'creamers' will only be proposing to apply protection to the upper back and the arms," he said.

"And as far as children are concerned, it'll only be done in the presence of the parents."

Véronic DiCaire triumphs in Paris

There aren't that many impressionists (of the sort that impersonate famous people rather than the painters, writers and composers) around in France who are household names.

And those that are, tend to be men. Indeed it wasn't until a couple of years ago that the general public would probably have been hard pushed to name even one woman.

That all changed when Liane Foly revealed that she was not only a consummate singer but also an excellent impersonator of prominent figures - French and international - both male and female.

Now Foly has competition, and it comes in the shape of Véronic DiCaire, who has just finished an extended run at the Théâtre de la Gaîté playing to packed houses and entertaining audiences with her own stunning array of voices.

Veronic Dicaire (imitatrice de génie) a Paris
par Tadoussac

DiCaire is already a star within the French-speaking community back in her native Canada used to playing at much larger venues.

But her run at the 400-seater Théâtre de la Gaîté fairly blew audiences away and has assured her a return to the French capital in the autumn.



Although DiCaire, just like Foly, has a big singing voice in her own right, she prefers to use it in her show to bring together a group of figures without the political and current affairs bite that is perhaps more of a French tradition where parody takes precedence.

Sure DiCaire picks up on the mannerisms of the women she's impersonating, but the real triumph lies in the spot-on vocal performances which are sometimes hard to distinguish from the original.

That's especially true when she takes on fellow Canadians such as Lynda Lemay, Isabelle Boulay and of course Céline Dion as well as French singers such as Vanessa Paradis, Mireille Mathieu and Edith Piaf or Belgians Maurane, Axelle Red and Lara Fabian.

But don't believe that her range is limited to French-speaking singers if you will.

Madonna, Britney Spears, Rihanna, Amy Winehouse, Christina Aguilera and Lady Gaga were also up there on stage in Paris, courtesy of DiCaire. And even Susan Boyle put in an appearance.

In 90 minutes DiCaire illustrated to the audience how "easy it is to take on someone else's voice" with the helpful explanation of the journey of the "hot potato" from the head of Vanessa Paradis to the mouth of Amy Winehouse and finally hitting the feet as she strutted around the stage Tina Turner style.

But it was probably as Dion that DiCaire really triumphed, a woman for whom she has on occasions been the opening act and whose husband, René Angélil, has even acted as her producer. So the 33-year-old has probably had plenty of time to perfect her impersonation.

In Paris DiCaire took the audience on a trip through Dion's career (and hairstyles) so far, from her first appearance on French television back in the 1980s to a rendition of "All by myself" in which she ducked out at the last moment when she was supposed to hit that high note, just to prolong the wait as she relaunched herself back into the song and out-Diva-ed Dion of course.

And if all that were not enough, she followed it up with a duet featuring two women with completely different voices. Dion's powerful but slightly nasal tones were joined by the much rounder and fuller and deeper ones of Maurane in a performance of Jacques Brel's "Quand on n’a que l’amour" which inevitably had the whole audience on its feet in appreciation at the end.



DiCaire - and her many voices - will now take a well-earned break before taking to the stage again in Canada in May.

But she'll be back in Paris in early November when she'll be performing at the 1,000-seater La Cigale for seven nights.