No fairy tale ending for Valérie Trierweiler and the presdiential children

Our story begins once upon a time in a faraway land where a little girl of the humblest of origins named Enrage Loosely dreamt of power and glory.

Her goal, to rule the country of her parents' birth and to be adored and proclaimed by the citizens of fair France.

Loosely wanted to Do Good.

She worked hard, won scholarships and admission to the toppest of French schools meeting along the way the completely normal man who was to become first her Charming and later the Prince Normal of his own destiny.

The couple would have four children together with Loosely valiantly balancing a rising political career and motherhood, even prepared to go on national TV shyly but proudly presenting her last born who entered the world while her mother was still ministering the environment.

Ségoléne Royal after the birth of her daughter Flora (screenshot France TV news)

Yes, Loosely had her sights set high, and while some might have called her naïve, she was steadfast in her determination with a brilliant mind, retiring and indefatigable in her ambition to Do Good unto France and for the party she had chosen to benefit from her unwavering support.

There came the time when, while remaining as ever her delightfully unassuming self, Loosely took on the mighty Heffalumps and against all expectations other than her own (dis)belief was crowned the chosen one by the party faithful to do battle with Crazily Ass Nook for the Highest of Offices after which they both hankered.

Alas, with knives in her back and tears in her eyes, Loosely was defeated, bravely rallying her supporter and wandering off into the distance for a deserved period of R'n'r and a strong cup of tea.

She returned refreshed and ready to fight to the bitter end with Nearby Atrium to wrest  the reins of power of the party from the Heffalumps and return it to the people.

Once again Loosely's motives were purely for the Common Good and that of the party. But Atrium had friends in very high places and connived her way to the narrowest of victories leaving a desolate Loosely to lick her wounds once more.

Cheated out of her rightful win, Loosely's attention once again turned towards that Highest Office, but yet again there was an insurmountable barrier (well several actually) in the slimmed -down form of her former Charming.

For yes, it was he who was crowned Prince Normal in her place, leaving Loosely with one last hope: that her former Charming turned Prince Normal would assist her in another crusade for the Common Good - to be perched at the head of those the people elected to govern the country.

But as had so often been the case, Loosely was to be outdone - or ouTWITTED  this time around -  by the new love of her former Charming, the stunningly gifted and intelligent Eerier Twirl - a wronger of some renoun (sic) and a woman never to hold a grudge when a stiletto in the right place would do the trick.

Cognisant that her Prince(ly) Normal president had previously had a woman in his life, Eerier Twirl, professed she was ready to "fait avec" and promptly proved as much by supporting Loosely's successful opponent in yet another unwarranted electoral embarrassment thus rendering propulsion to the perch impossible.

Loosely was devastated and Prince Normal weren't none too happy with the outcome neither, but the deed had been done and privately Eerier Twirl (and many other uncharitable folk across the land) was (were) delighted.

But Eerier Twirl hadn't counted on the wrath of the Royal Normalities, those four children, Thomas, Clémence, Julien and the infant TV star Flora, begotten of Prince Normal and Loosely.

They had grown up to be handsome young men and even handsomer young women and as handsome does, they stood by their distraught mother.

They no longer wished to have contact with the woman who had stilettoed Loosely and let it be known through sauces (sic) that they had "Played the game and done their bit during the presidential campaign but had been hurt by the apparent jealousy (of Eerier Twirl) expressed towards their mother."

So there you have it.

Valerie Trierweiler is "persona non grata" as far as the children of the French president, François Hollande and his former partner Ségolène Royal are concerned.

She might very well have had to "fait avec" with the fact that Hollande had another woman in his life before her, as she admitted recently in a behind-the-scenes book on the presidential campaign.

But as the weekly glossy magazine Voici says, the decision of the Hollande-Royal children when it comes to Trierweiler is that they have decided to "faire sans".

And they all lived happily ever after?

François Hollande's "gender parity" government? Yes and no

The gloves are off in the battle for control of the centre-right Union pour un mouvement populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) party, and former justice minister Rachida Dati has chosen to throw her two centimes-worth into the ring.

No, she hasn't exactly declared herself a candidate for the post, which will be decided at the party's conference in November but, in her usual candid style which leaves the door wide open to interpretation, hasn't denied her interest in the job either.

"Why not?" she replied when asked the question recently in a radio interview.

"Collectively there are several of us. So why not?"

Hmmn most revealing, isn't it?

Was she talking about several women joining forces to lead the party forwards?

Or perhaps she was borrowing something from the more diplomatic proposals from a former prime minister and current Mayor of Bordeaux Alain Juppé that there should be some sort of joint presidency to prevent infighting splitting the party.

Anyway, with Dati's arch enemy and former prime minister François Fillon having already announced he's standing and the party's current secretary general Jean-François Copé clearly in campaigning mode, November looks as though it could be a real handbags at dawn affair.

As for Dati's precise intentions? Well remember this is (French - although it's probably not so different elsewhere) politics where allegiances are built on the proverbial shifting sands and personal ambition often rides roughshod over ideology or the common good.

So Dati, although equally as firm in her support for Copé as she is for her dislike of Fillon,  probably wouldn't mind positioning herself for a run at the Really Big One if the opportunity presented itself, is keeping her options open.

The most prominent element missing from any party battle in November will most likely be exactly what Dati and many other female politicians bemoan - the presence of a woman in the race.

Ah yes. Women in French politics - they get a pretty rough deal.

How many can you name for example (without resorting to Google)?

From the Socialist party, which currently holds all the country's major offices, how many come to mind immediately apart perhaps from the usual high profile suspects such as Ségolène Royal and Martine Aubry.

After that it gets kind of tough doesn't it?

And what about that apparent balance between men and women in the government, so highly touted by the French president François Hollande and his (male - just in case you needed reminding) prime minister Jean-Marc Ayrault?

Family photo - Jean-Marc Ayrault's first government (screenshot BFM TV)

Oh yes there's the same number of men (19) and women (19) and many have held that up as an example of Hollande succeeding where his predecessor, Nicolas Sarkozy, so obviously failed.

But, as has also been pointed out several times, the jobs haven't exactly been shared out equally when it comes to the pecking order.

Take a look at the so-called "top jobs" (for want of a better expression) for example; the foreign minister - Laurent Fabius, the interior minister - Manuel Valls, the defence minister - Jean-Yves Le Drian and goodness, the justice minister - Christiane Taubira. A woman!

One out of four. Not bad.

Certainly ain't real parity though, is it?

Clearly there weren't enough qualified women to go around for those positions.

Marisol Touraine (social affairs and health), Aurélie Filippetti (culture and communication) or Delphine Batho (ecology, sustainable development and energy) certainly aren't going to kick up a stink about the portfolios they've been given at some equally important but arguably less prestigious ministries.

But Ayrault (and Hollande) surely limited their choice by plumping for women who were parliamentarians - from the National Assembly or the Senate.

And therein lies part of the problem for any real gender parity in government - at least in France.

The last election returned the highest number of women to the National Assembly the country has ever seen.

That's the good news folks.

But when you look at the actual figures, you discover a different story.

Of the 577 députés, a whopping 155 were women.

All right that was up from the 109 of the 2007 elections but it still only accounts for 27 per cent of those elected to the National Assembly.

Progress - very slow progress - which will see France rise from 70th in a table of women members as a percentage of the total number present in the country's lower house to 36th - nestled just between Afghanistan in 35th and Tunisia in 37th.

Still at least that's better than the UK down in joint 55th with Malawi.

Maybe there's something after all to the much-quoted comment by the late journalist and politician Françoise Giroud that there'll only be real gender parity in politics when "a woman is appointed to office on the basis that she is just as incompetent as a man."


Les nouveaux ministres posent pour la photo de... par BFMTV

Jean-Pierre Pernaut, France's favourite continuity announcer - sorry, news anchor - and Euro 2012

Whatever you might think of the French football team's behaviour during and just after Euro 2012, one thing's for sure.

Each and every player was under close(r) media scrutiny especially after those infamous events in the disastrous World Cup campaign in South Africa back in 2010.

Their gestures, comments and reaction were interpreted and analysed to the  nth degree and unfortunately the performance on the pitch didn't really live up to most commentators' expectations.

Or perhaps it did.

There was the usual (so far) fruitless polemic (the French just love that word) which seems to have been as short-lived as the team's campaign, but will doubtless rear its in the not-too-distant future as the former manager, Laurent Blanc is made a scapegoat for all the teams woes and unbridled hope is invested in his successor.

Overpaid, spoilt brats, ill-educated, lack of team spirit: all descriptions used and lapped up by the media to report the story of Les Bleus.

Heck the team and Samir Nasri's exploits in particular, even made the front cover of one paper not usually given to following the feats of national sporting teams.

The far-right weekly Minute running with a photograph of Nasri and the headline, "They've once again tainted the blue jersey."

Samir Nasri makes front cover of Minute

Set aside for a moment your personal views on their behaviour as reported in much of the press. You would hope and think that the main television and radio bulletins would manage to report the facts, accurately and  without necessarily commenting on them.

Leave that to the experts and the specialists hey? Those from whom you would expect and welcome in-depth analysis.

Aha. But that's not taking into account the talents of one of the country's leading news readers to share with viewers what he surely considers the benefit of his opinion.

Who else but Jean-Pierre Pernaut.

Jean-Pierre Pernaut (screenshot TF1 news)

He presents the weekday lunchtime news on TF1 and is described in his Wikipedia entry (so it MUST be right) as a "news reader and broadcaster" (no mention of journalist) who "combines an avuncular (great word that) personality and authoritative delivery (really?)" that has made him one of France's most popular news readers."

There's little doubt that his "show" - because that's what the lunchtime new tends to be focussing as it does on fluffier, regional pieces rather than hard news -  attracts viewers and has an appeal.

That might say more about what the French enjoy as they digest their meals and it's definitely an approach which Pernaut has nurtured and encouraged during his 20 years + tenure and in his role as editor-in-chief.

Objective, balanced and unbiased journalism though are characteristics which often fail as he sees fit to comment - albeit briefly - on the events, clips and reports he's introducing.

Yep, Pernaut, who let's face it is nothing more than a very high profile continuity announcer (or in French terms an up-to-date version of that emblematic figure of television in its early days here - the Speakerine" only in the male form so without the "e"), has a penchant for sharing what he thinks about a story.

And that's exactly what he did once again this past week when reporting the result of the previous night's quarterfinal between Italy and England, with the Italians qualifying for the semis.

Pernaut managed, in his own inimitable style to pass his wonderfully arrogant judgement as an "informed" sports reporter on the French team's behaviour.

He didn't turn round and say straight out what he thought.

That would have been unprofessional. Tut, tut.

Oh no, Pernaut - his own-editor-in-chief remember so ultimately answerable to...himself, was far more snarky than that.

 "It was a great game between two teams proud to carry the colours of their nation," he said  about the Italy- England game.

"That makes a change," he added.

And he followed that up later in the report when referring to the Italian players' decision not to lay claim to the match bonuses with, "Fortunately there are countries where players have  education and good manners!"

So there you have it.

Jean-Pierre Pernaut, 62 years old (with hair apparently looking as though it's  couple of decades younger) and at the helm of the lunchtime news since 1988, once again proving there's nothing like objectivity in journalism and still a place for an opinionated Speakerin on French telly.