Rainbathing at the Edward Hopper exhibition in Paris

If you're planning on making it along to the Edward Hopper retrospective at Le Grand Palais in Paris, here are a few things worth bearing in mind.

First up of course, buy your ticket in advance.

If you don't, the chances are you'll spend several hours queueing, or standing in line if you will, watching those who've had the foresight to book online pass in front of you.

That said, even if you have a ticket, there's no guarantee that you'll actually make it through the doors at the time stated.

The numbers allowed in are clearly limited by the space available, and that's perfectly reasonable, if only for security purposes.




Ah waiting!

This being Le Grand Palais, so completely unused to organising major exhibitions that have popular appeal (let the irony carry you away) there's a very French approach to "service".

Because the exhibition is running from October until January - the months when Paris offers the very best of weather - absolutely no thought seems to have been made by the wonderfully-named Strategic orientation council or those involved in running the whole shebang as to how visitors might comfortably spend their time outside, rainbathing.

Temporary shelter to protect those waiting from the "inclement" (don't you just love that word - very TV presenterish n'est-ce pas?)  weather?

Hah!

Not at all.

Instead, just as the masses who went to see the Monet exhibition a couple of years ago, you can take full advantage of whatever Mother Nature showers upon you.
 

Edward Hopper retrospective, Le Grand Palais, Paris - brolly parade

What about staff on duty to explain waiting times, deal with complaints from very patient (given the circumstances) often damp and probably cold visitors?

Oh yes...one solitary and decidedly miserable-looking attendant who sympathises with the predicament of those waiting, clearly doing his best, but cannot really deal with the situation.

Nor should he have to.

Ergo - take a brolly, wrap up warm and...hey, perhaps have a flask of something hot (or warming) to hand.

When that moment comes and you're allowed inside, be prepared to go shoulder-to-shoulder with other visitors desperate to get a glimpse of the works on display.

The atmosphere is decidedly one in which there's an intimate sharing of space as everyone politely pigeon-steps their way from room-to-room, painting to painting.

Edward Hopper retrospective, Le Grand Palais, Paris - through the doors and then what?

Oh and keep an eye out for the "professional" who has brought their own stool with them and will happily hog a prime location slap bang in front of the work THEY want to see.

As for the exhibition itself, well it's a delight as Hopper's work is accessible and his Realism - because that's what it is - is something your mother would probably approve of as "proper painting".

Plus it provides a great insight into the man often described as an iconic American artist.

If you hire the audio handset to guide you through the exhibition, be sure to return it to the unmarked little plastic basket, almost hidden,  as you leave.

Otherwise you could end up taking it home because the woman responsible for collecting headsets for groups will refuse to take it with a jobsworth, "No you cannot leave it here."

Alternatively of course you might decide to go it alone and instead simply enjoy what you see, including the influence Paris had on his style (here's a pretty good piece on that) with the occasional and inevitable pontificator happily sharing their "knowledge" and "understanding" of Hopper with anyone who doesn't really want to listen.

There's always (at least) one - isn't there?

Finally, for those of you who take the...er...more shall we call it the "French and Saunders" approach to any sort of exhibition...well the coffee's all right.



The Edward Hopper retrospective runs at Le Grand Palais until January 28, 2013

Almost incomplete faction: Miss France 2013 versus Téléthon

Every year it's the same story here in France.

The annual beauty pageant to elect the country's  newest Miss falls on the same weekend as the national Téléthon.

A kiss from the president of the jury Alain Delon, as Marine Lorphelin is crowned Miss France 2013 - Ah! (screenshot from TF1)

TF1 - ever the sharp private channel that it is - broadcasts the annual "Boobs and butts fest"...oh, terribly sorry... the search for the young lady who best fits the bill as France's most beautiful woman and meets a set of criteria which would make her fitting role model in the 21st century and an ambassador for the country...or something equally blah, blah, blah.

Meanwhile the public-owned France télévisions, and most notably France 2, treats viewers to the money-raising event meant to encourage the French to tune in and dig deep into their pockets for the muscular dystrophy charity l'Association française contre les myopathies (AFM).

No prizes for guessing which "wins" in terms of viewing figures or ratings. More than eight million watched Miss France being crowned while not even one-and-a-half million managed to stick with the Téléthon.

But hang about.

Wouldn't it be more rather more noble if the organisation which owns the rights to the pageant, the Dutch television production company Endemol, actually chose another date.

After all it surely wouldn't require too much organisational effort and it would avoid the clash of conscience so many French must have: cheesy glamour or worthy (albeit it somewhat soporific in its length) charity event.

Just for the record this year's Miss France and the young woman who will spend a year upholding the values of the country...you know, the three teas: frivolity, maternity and...um...qwerty (or should that be azerty?) is Marine Lorphelin, a 19-year-old medical student from the town of Mâcon.

Miss Burgundy - as was - "charmed the judges and television viewers" to be crowned the new Miss France ahead of Misses from Tahiti and Nord-Pas de Calais.

Also taking part in what must be the only truly global national beauty pageant around were Misses from other far flung regions of France (and not just the bit at the heart of Europe that everyone knows and loves) such as Guadaloupe, Guyane, Martinique, Mayotte, New Caledonia, Saint Martin and er...South Kensington!

Well why not?

After all, the French president François Hollande has just appointed TV environmentalist, journalist and miffed  Europe Écologie-The Greens presidential primary candidate Nicolas Hulot to the post of "Special envoy to protect the planet".

So why shouldn't France have women from around the world battling it out to be crowned the country's latest Miss?

Chimène Badi - Gospel and Soul at Olympia - or champagne served in a beer glass

French singer Chimène Badi returned to Olympia, that mythical musical venue on Boulevard Capucines in Paris, this week to "treat" her fans to a collection of songs mainly taken from her most recent album - "Gospel and Soul".

It could and should have been a chance for the 30-year-old to prove that the rather mediocre rendition of many of the songs on the album had been down to over-produced studio arrangements and that "live" she would belt out what was a great selection of songs, with passion.

After all, Badi arguably has one of the best voices of her generation. It's powerful and distinctive and you would think ideally suited to both Gospel and Soul.

It wasn't to be the case.

Things didn't get off to the best of starts with fans sitting through a 20 minute warm-up act and then having to wait almost another 40 minutes before Badi made an appearance.

The Paris audience - and let's face it, they're never among the most patient - began the inevitable slow hand clap interspersed with calls for their "star" before...finally the curtain raised and the first chords were struck.

Musically-speaking the choice of "Proud Mary" as an opening number was far from being inspired as it displayed just how lacking in stage presence and charisma Badi really is.

Yes, she has a voice that makes her instantly recognisable, but choosing only half-heartedly to emulate Tina Turner's performance of the Creedence Clearwater Revival song, proved to be her undoing.

Breathless, as she seemed to forget all the lessons she might have learned from her recent appearance in Danse avec les stars, Badi also missed - or failed to make (there's a slight distinction) some of her notes.

It rather set the tone, as far as the English-language songs were concerned, for the rest of the evening.

There was Stevie Wonder's "For once in my life" - best described perhaps as simply karaoke-inspired.

An a cappella version of "Amazing Grace" was...well simply neither "amazing" nor "graceful" - but perhaps it was never meant to be.

Janis Joplin's "Mercedes Benz" was lost amid the "battle" that seemed to ensue between Badi and a band of undoubtedly individually-talented musicans whose volume seemed to have been cranked-up to the max.

Thankfully the late Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell are no longer around to hear what Badi did with "Ain't no mountain high enough" and hopefully nobody will tell Diana Ross.

And as far as Otis Redding's "Try a little tenderness" was concerned...well Badi shouldn't even have gone there. It was cringingly embarrassing.

She fared better - it wasn't difficult - with some of the French-language songs.

Georges Moustaki's "Ma liberté", Native's "Tu planes sur moi" and Nicole Croisille's "Parlez-moi de lui"  - all worked pretty well - given how dreadful the English-language songs had been.

Getting it right - "Tu planes sur moi" excerpt

The inclusion of a couple of "favourites" from previous albums such as "Le Miroir" and "Entre Nous" - both given the Gospel and Soul  treatment - will have kept the most loyal fans happy.

Or will they? After all this was far from being the Badi that most of them had grown to appreciate since she was said to have a "Rolls Royce of a voice" by one of the judges when she first came to the public's attention on the now-defunct TV talent show "Popstars"

Really,  Badi - and her management - needs to learn that there's more to Gospel and Soul than dismal cover versions of stand alone originals.

And it's not enough to have six and sometimes a dozen other singers with less-than extraordinary voices, dressed in the appropriate garb and swaying and clapping in accompaniment, for the performance to qualify as Gospel.

Badi will be back at Olympia for three dates in January 2013 when again she'll be subjecting audiences to what can only be described as a rather lame or tame attempt at either Gospel or Soul.

If they - or you - want to hear the real thing - French style - and yes it does exist - then they would be better off trying Nicoletta. Perhaps that's a piece of advice Badi should also bear in mind.

And here's some more.

Chiméne - Yes, you can sing. There's no doubt about that. But no you cannot sing Gospel and Soul - at least not in English because you don't have the voice, the passion or the feel for either.

Stick with French ballads or even uptempo numbers

But please, for the sake of those who really love music and for whom the genres matter - leave well alone.

Quote of the night overheard in the bar just before the show - perhaps an omen of what was to come.

Bar lady: "What would you like sir?"

Customer: "I don't know...I"m torn between a glass of champagne or a beer."

He finally plumped for champagne served, in what appeared to be, a beer glass.

And that's pretty much what Badi did too.

Here's how "Try a little tenderness" should sound.