Handbags at dawn - Nicolas Sarkozy and Alain Juppé

Ah. Politics is such a fickle profession.

"Friends" come and "friends" go - as befits the occasion.

And the odd feud along the way, seemingly forgetten when the two (or more) protagonists are reconciled is...well, frankly, par for the course.

Right now though, there's trouble apparently brewing (yet again) for the opposition centre-right Union pour un mouvement populaire (Union for a popular movement, UMP) as certain figures jostle for position ahead of the party's planned primary (some time in 2016) to choose the candidate for the 2017 presidential election.

Yes, it might seem a fair distance away - and the battle for the leadership (quite a separate matter) hasn't yet taken place - but territory is already being marked in the very finest of...well, manners in which territory is traditionally marked in the animal kingdom.

Remember (yet again) that the former president, Nicolas Sarkozy, threw his proverbial hat into the ring for the lUMP eadership campaign last week - pitting him against two other declared contenders, Bruno Le Maire and Hervé Mariton.

And although he hasn't actually said he'll seek the party's nomination for 2017, all the talk is that is really his ultimate goal.

Should he decide to enter that particular fray, he'll find himself up against at least two other declared candidates - both of whom served under him during his time as president: François Fillon, his prime minister during five years, and Alain Juppé, who served as foreign minister for the final 15 months of Sarkozy's "reign".

While both represent a challenge to Sarkozy, it's Juppé, with his wealth of political experience (including as the former leader of the UMP 2002-2004, prime minister under Jacques Chirac 1995-1997 and twice foreign minister as well as spells at defence and environment) and popularity who probably presents the biggest danger.

Alain Juppé (screenshot from "Le Grand rendez-vous" Europe 1, September 21, 2014)

Seemingly eager to bury the hatchet (but where), or perhaps better said, dissuade him from standing...or both...during his 45-minute televised interview last weekend, Sarkozy said of Juppé, "I met him when I was 20 years old. He has become a partner, a friend and a companion. He's someone I admire greatly."

Ah. That's nice, isn't it. Quite the proverbial olive branch.

Except in private, Sarkozy has apparently been saying something quite different according to the weekly satirical newspaper Le Canard Enchaîné.

It  reminds its readers that at the beginning of September (a couple of weeks after Juppé had said he would be standing in the 2016 primary - a selection process not at all to Sarkozy's liking), Sarkozy is rumoured to have said (in private of course) that he would "kill him" (politically speaking...Juppé's response on hearing the rumour was that Sarkozy "knew where to find him").

And according to the newspaper, Sarkozy has once again been firing salvoes in private, especially over Juppé's age and "moral" lecturing.

"Juppé will be 72 years old in 2017 and has an 18 month suspended prison sentence (for abuse of public funds), behind him," he's reported to have said.

"Do you think he scares me or that he's the right person to give me a lesson in morals?"

Juppé isn't exactly a political shrinking violet though. On the contrary, he's a seasoned scrapper, albeit it with rather more humour, perhaps more cutting and incisive and certainly more refined.

While Sarkozy was explaining his reasons on France 2 on Sunday evening for his political comeback, Juppé was unveiling on his blog the sort of programme he would be putting to party members during the primary.

And on Tuesday he told BFM TV that it was clear the battle had begun.

"I know that today the match has started," he said, poking fun at the idea that Sarkozy would try to change the name of the UMP to rid it of the less than positive image it has had over the past couple of years.

"You know, everything can be changed," he said.

"Rather than call it the UMP we can rename it PMU (also the name of the state-controlled betting system, Pari mutuel urbain). If that's the change, it won't exactly be fundamental."

The war of words has begun - and the campaign (should Sarkozy eventually declare) could well prove to be a rough one.

To be continued...


Juppé sort les armes contre Sarkozy by 20Minutes

Florence Lamblin - Eco Sex toys and money laundering

No the title is not a piece of political faction.

But there again the alleged truth is often stranger than anything that could be dreamt up by a scriptwriter with even the most preposterously imaginative pen.

The deputy mayor of the 13th arrondissement of Paris, Florence Lamblin is back in the news again.

Florence Lamblin (screenshot BFM TV)

You might remember that last weekend Lamblin hit the headlines after being arrested for her alleged involvement in a ring suspected of laundering €40 million of drug money.

The - until-then - little-known (outside of political circles perhaps) Europe Écologie Les Verts - or Green party to the rest of us - politician suddenly found herself a household name as the media and political opponents had a field day "finding her guilty".

There were calls for Lamblin to resign, not only from the opposition but also from the party's presidential candidate this year, Eva Joly and just as importantly perhaps the Socialist mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoë.



Lamblin did just that - sort of - following that time-honoured French political tradition of announcing that she would be, "suspending her activities and political duties until there had been a full investigation into her financial records."

In other words she'll probably be back.

That was last weekend's news and of course the investigation into her alleged involvement is still ongoing.

But when the proverbial "merde" hits the fan for a French politician, you can rely on the weekly satirical newspaper, Le Canard enchaîné, to keep everyone entertained with a slightly different angle on matters.

And that's exactly what it did on Wednesday following up on a story that had appeared the day before in the weekly "news" magazine Paris Match, revealing that Lamblin, apart from being a politician, was also a partner in an eco-friendly sex toy website

Sexecolo.com, which for the most peculiar of reasons currently seems to be unavailable, thereby surely missing out on a great marketing opportunity, has as its enticing tag line “pleasure, naturally”.

(screenshot sexecolo.com)

It tells potential buyers, says Paris Match, that ecology should be "fun and not make people feel guilty",  and offers (or should that be in the past tense now?) a range of (amongst other things) "natural massage oils, organic lingerie (the edible variety?) and sex toys free from potentially harmful plastic additives."

Um.

No comment perhaps - but feel free to come up with your own interpretation.

Keep them courteous, please.

Rachida Dati hits out at François Fillon - surprise, surprise

The former justice minister Rachida Dati has never exactly been best buddies with the now ex-prime minister François Fillon.

In fact it probably wouldn't be too far off the mark to say they share a mutual dislike for each other - and they aren't afraid to show it.

So Dati's attack on her former boss over his statement that after the defeat (and apparent departure from political life) of Nicolas Sarkozy there was no natural leader in their centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) party hardly comes as a surprise.

Rachida Dati (screenshot BFMTV-RMC radio)

Fillon's comment was without doubt a salvo fired in the direction of the party's secretary general Jean-François Copé and a means for him to set himself up as a potential successor.

But it was too much for Dati who, not mincing her words, was more than willing to give her take on what he had said when she interviewed by Jean-Jacques Bourdin.

"Unpleasant", "disloyal", "ungrateful" and "bad-mannered" were just a few of the choice terms she used to describe Fillon's statement.

"He (François Fillon) appears to be a little ungrateful vis-à-vis Nicolas Sarkozy who made him what he is today," she said.

"I don't think it's very chic (an attribute which is of course very important to Dati - in all senses of the word)," she continued.

"We tell our children to be well mannered and to get a good eduction. This is simply rude in relation to Nicolas Sarkozy. He's not dead is he?"



Of course this isn't the first time the two have locked political horns - so to speak.

Even though she has thrown in the towel after the UMP parachuted in Fillon to stand for a safe for Parisian seat (and one she coveted) in the upcoming National Assembly elections, Dati is clearly still smarting.

And this is a woman who, love her or loathe her, you just can't and probably shouldn't ignore.

There's denying that she knows how to make and impact - and not necessarily for the right reasons.

During her time as justice minister she came in from opposition criticism for her inability to handle her portfolio and the reports of her ministry haemorrhaging staff were seen as an indication of a woman who was difficult to work with.

Glossy magazines had a field day, regularly featuring photographs of an elegant and stylish Dati only too happy to pose for the camera and of course the weekly satirical magazine Le Canard enchaîné was unrelenting in lampooning her.

The polemic (good word that - the French love it) surrounding her return to work just days after giving birth to a baby whose paternity of course was the subject of endless speculation.

Even when she was fired - whoops sorry, left the government to take up her seat in the European parliament in 2009, she didn't quite disappear from the domestic political scene especially as she had been elected mayor of the seventh arrondissement of Paris in 2008,.

From apparent exile in Brussels and Strasbourg  Dati has continued to make to make a splash, appearing on an M6 "fly on the wall" documentary in which she was less than complimentary about her new job.

She has popped up regularly on television - be it to explain the economics behind "fellation"  or later throwing a  "dildo" into a discussion on French secularism.

Both were bloopers of course, which she was able to smile about after the videos went viral and put down to the speed at which she speaks.

Always an ardent supporter of Nicolas Sarkozy, Dati was a brought back from duty in Brussels to accompany him during part of his campaigning, adding her own personal fashion statement late in the day by appearing on the early morning news magazine La Matinale on Canal + sporting a sweater with a design emblazoned on the back which to all the world (except Dati) looked to be that of a giant cannabis plant leaf.

Ah yes.

In what is likely to become a struggle for control of the party (after the elections), Dati knows exactly how to position herself and make the most of her undoubted media-friendly talent - albeit sometimes to her cost.

Expect more fun and games to follow.