Friday's French music break - David Serero, "On veut la coupe sur les Champs Élysées"

Nothing could be worse than the Eurovision Song Contest (and epsecially the French entries) when it comes to music, could it?

Think again - and not too hard. Because the answer to a somewhat loaded question (and what would under other circumstances surely be purely rhetorical) comes in the title of this week's Friday's French music break "On veut la coupe sur les Champs Élysées".

(screenshot from YouTube video)

It's the unofficial "anthem" of the French team for this year's World Cup and a timely choice as the whole shebang is set to kick off in São Paulo on June 12 with hosts Brazil taking on Croatia in the first match of the tournament.

To accompany Les Bleus in their attempts to forget the nightmare that was Knysna four years ago in South Africa, French opera and Broadway musical baritone (and all round showman according to his official bio) David Serero has teamed his tonsils with those of "un collectif d'artistes anonymes" to produce a song which is presumably meant to inspire the team's performance on the pitch and drum up enthusiasm among fans back home.

David Serero (screenshot "Autumn leaves - Les feuilles mortes" with Jermaine Jackson)

Quite frankly though, it could well have the opposite effect - prompting the players to run back to their dressing room in embarrassment (should they have the misfortune to hear it in the first place) and leaving supporters in no doubt that the Eurovision result (two points and last place, remember) was not a one-off when it comes to appreciating French music.

It's meant to be a "festive" offering with a sunny Caribbean-South American beat and flavour but the result is just a mess.

The 33-year-old Serero might well have a voice well-suited to opera and popular standards (the latter is a matter of opinion) but when set among the cacophony that is ""On veut la coupe sur les Champs Élysées" he just sounds...well ridiculous and slightly off-key to boot.

All right. If your ears are up to it, here's the song.

How many seconds will you be able to endure?

Let's just hope that Benzema, Giroud, Ribéry and co prove more effective on the pitch than Serero and others did in the studio.

Courage!

Serving up French diplomacy - the François Hollande way

If ever you doubted François Hollande's capacities as a world leader or his talents at practising that oh-so delicate yet famous art of French diplomacy, you may be reassured.

As the host of this year's 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings and the Battle of Normandy, the French president found the ideal way of meeting and greeting world leaders as they assembled for Friday's events - and ensuring that nobody had their nose proverbially put out of joint.

And he managed it with bonhomie - helped along with a healthy appetite or at least a gastronomic capacity which would make any man proud.

First up Hollande played host to Queen Elizabeth II at the Elysée palace.

Tea for two - and a few more - presumably along with something to take the edge off his appetite as he had a hard evening of chow down power talking ahead of him.

Then it was off to Michelin starred chef Guy Savoy's restaurant Le Chiberta in the VIII arrondissement of Paris for dinner with the US president Barack Obama (and entourage).

On the menu, according to Savoy who tweeted (what else?)  what he had  prepared - blue lobster salad and Normandy sea bass as the two men (and entourages) talked (but hopefully not with their mouths full) politics.

(screenshot Guy Savoy Twitter)

And then back to the Elysée palace (because of course Hollande had a "double dinner date dilemma") for what was described as a "light supper" (doesn't that just make the mind boggle) with Russian president Vladimir Putin.

Ah yes. Hollande - willing to sacrifice all - and especially his waistline - for the sake of keeping everyone happy.

François Hollande at the Salon de l'Agriculture, February 2014 (screenshot collage from Le Petit Journal Zapping)

And he hasn't finished yet.

Because after Friday's memorial celebrations in Normandy, he'll be hotfooting (or more likely helicoptering) it back to Paris and the Elysée palace once again for a state banquet with Queen Elizabeth II as the guest of honour.

http://news.yahoo.com/france-pulls-stops-super-guest-honour-queen-elizabeth-170945179.html

Chapeau M. Le President.

Alka Selzer?

Carving up the camembert - redrawing the French map

After much reported and totally uncharacteristic to-ing and fro-ing, the French president, François Hollande, finally made up his mind and released earlier this week his "vision" of a how new administratively slim-lined France could look.

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Hollande wants to reduce the number of regions from the current 22 to just 14, in an effort to "reduce regional bureaucracies and cut back on spending".

It's a move which, if approved by parliament, the government reckons could save around  €25 billiion annually.

And, at a time when France is looking to cut back on public spending, that can't be a bad thing.

No sooner had the plan been announced, than Hollande's supposed latest sidekick (although you have to wonder who is actually in charge), the prime minister, Manuel Valls, promptly popped up on TV (yet again) to explain the mechanics of passing the proposals through parliament and how, if they were approved, the process of transition would take place.

Most telling perhaps was his admission right from the start, that there could well be some room for manœuvre, implying perhaps that the 14 regions currently outlined might not be the final figure and conceding that the debate had just begun and it would be complicated.

"There will be debates in the Senate first and then in the National Assembly and there may be changes," he told Jean-Jacques Bourdin on BFM TV.

The key is to reduce the number of regions to make them stronger and more competitive. There needs to be change and it has to be done."



Ah, does it sound as though Hollande and Valls are already preparing themselves for a famous French fudge even before the debate has started.

The whole idea, of course, is not a new one. Over the decades, successive governments have toyed with the idea of redrawing the regional map of France.

And ever since Hollande came to power, rumours that he envisaged some sort of "carving up of the camembert" have been...well, if not rampant in terms of news coverage at least bubbling gently under the surface.

Some of the apparent choices seem bewildering - even to those who know about these sorts of things.

That ruddy great Poitou-Charentes, Centre and Limousin proposal for example. Or the fact that the département of Loire-Atlantique  and its capital Nantes and the current region of Pays de la Loire will not find itself in Bretagne where it probably belongs at least historically.

But perhaps everyone should breathe a huge sigh of relief that the much touted merging of Aquitaine and Limousin  (right up until the day before the announcement, as the map below from the Journal du dimanche shows) looks as though it won't happen.

What the JDD predicted François Hollande had in mind (screenshot JDD)