Secret Story - this year's "hall of fame"

After last year's dubious dollop of "culture" introduced to the French public amongst others a lesbian couple from Belgium (who started off the series intending to get married, but ended up going their separate ways), a black mother and her white daughter, an Anglican minister, an undertaker and a teenage father, a Don Juan with more than 750 "conquests" and such similar secrets, the production team this year has stepped up a gear to ensure maximum in-fighting and hopefully high ratings.

Among those who will be gracing French sitting rooms over the next couple of months with their presence are the following.

Probably the best known housemate (at least in this country) is Rachel Legrain Trapani. She was Miss France in 2006 and has agreed to "dress down" and play the part of Rosa, a student.

Unfortunately for her (and the programme makers), the other contestants quickly noted the slightly-more-than-striking resemblance to her real self (now there's a surprise), and her secret looks sure to be the first to be revealed.

More alter egos are on supply in the shape of Louise and her husband Didier from the Indian Ocean island of La Réunion. They've entered the house together with their trusted friend "Alicia" - in reality Didier, who likes to dress up in women's clothing.

To guarantee harmony and calm within the house there's, Emilie from the northern French city of Lille, along with her "best friend" Vanessa. The two 21-year-olds probably have a few scores to settle as apparently (their secret) the latter tried to pinch the former's boyfriend

Vancouver native, Maya, who only eats fruit and vegetables and lives in a bus (perhaps there's a link- and apparently is more than happy with her lifestyle. The 29-year-old sounds as though she could be a bundle of laughs.

Beauty and beefcake in one - well at least as far as he's concerned - are supplied by 21-year-old Kevin who says of himself, "I know that I'm good-looking and I could be the son of Brad Pitt." Nothing like false modesty there then....and that's nothing like false modesty.

Bumping up the average age of the candidates by more than a few years (by now you'll have noticed how young most of them are and could therefore be forgiven for agreeing to take part in such a show in the first place) is 53-year-old Elisabeth Fanger.

At long last someone who has lived long enough to have perhaps a secret worth keeping.

Her story dates back to 1974, when as an 18-year-old student she met an fell in love with Sid Mohamed Badaoui.

In February the following year Badaoui held up a bank in Paris, but things didn't go quite to plan and there was a hostage stand-off during which one of the cashiers and a robber were killed, and it was Fanger (then known as Lili), who first hid him in her family home and then fled the country with him.

And so began life on the run, with Fanger "tracked by Interpol" eventually returning to France to face charges and being found guilty of aiding and abetting fugitives. She was sentenced but received a pardon, and then did what anyone would do under the circumstances - wrote an autobiography, which in 2004 was made into a film "À tout de suite" (Right Now).

A colourful past by anyone's assessment, and one, which given the average age of most of the other housemates, will more than likely remain a secret from them for a pretty long time - unless they're given copious clues by the production team.

Finally, just in case your appetite hasn't already been sufficiently whetted, here are some of the other not-so-closely-guarded secrets, as far as the viewing public is concerned.

There's a millionaire in the house, someone who has decided to remain a virgin, a "genius" (presumably there's evidence to back that up), a survivor of the 2004 tsunami, a former mistress of a Ballon d'Or (European football of the year) winner, and of course the "mystery candidate" who has yet to enter the house.

The show will doubtless have the same sort of petty rivalries, squabbles and handbags-at-dawn stuff that characterised much of the previous two series. Indeed, that's exactly what it thrives on.

But breathe a sigh of relief because at least it’s all being done in the name of entertainment. And as much as some might question why and find it “outrageous”, there’ll probably still be millions tuning in.

Let’s also not forget there’s always the “off” button on the TV set or alternative viewing on other channels.