Pressing the flesh

We all know how much politicians enjoy the round of hand pumping, back slapping, lip smacking, baby holding photo ops when they’re out there campaigning among we mere mortals, but heavens, it seems to have spillt over into high-powered love fests.

Welcome to the world of Touchy Feely G8 leaders. And once again the French are taking the lead in this refreshingly modern open-collared diplomacy. New boy Nic endearingly has invaded everybody’s personal space in that most Mediterranean of ways. He was spotted stroking Blair on the arm, planting his now customary greeting kiss on Merkel’s cheeks and even getting tactile with Bush as they gently brushed arms.

And he seemed to be getting downright too chummy with Putin – remember the geezer who waited two days before getting on the blower to congratulate him in May when he won the election.

Leaving politics aside, the burning question on everybody’s lips here in France is just who was on the ‘phone when Nic was seen strolling along with Vlad.

Grins galore (on the French side), Gr8 eye contact as the two men meander down the road mobile ‘phone pressed briefly against Our Esteemed Leader’s ear and then he passes it to a slightly startled fellow Head of State.

So…. to start with, who the heck among the French entourage speaks Russian? And more intriguingly who exactly was on the other end of the line and what did they say?

The political love-in over the past couple of days has certainly offered the opportunity to ponder some disjointed and not-so-interesting observations.

Bush apparently wants any future international agreements or frameworks (poor man can’t decide which) on climate control to be UN-led……that’ll be a first for him. Up until now he hasn’t really shown much enthusiasm for multilateral decisions. And Bless Him for claiming to protect the interests of India and China. They’ll be pleased won’t they?

Meanwhile Putin clearly called the US’s bluff by offering to use a radar system in Azerbaijan to develop a shield to detect incoming missiles from those rogue states who make up the Axes of Weasels. By the way, does he ever smile?

As the Magnificent 9 (clearly Barroso just can’t be kept away from a party) ambled along in pairs in the sunny Baltic resort of Heiligendamm. (just couldn’t resist a bit of journalese there) why did nobody appear to be talking to Abe?

Is it possible that Prodi has the same hairdresser as Bernadette Chirac? That’s some thatch there on his bonce. It’s hard not to be envious.

With water already one of the world’s most valuable commodities, how (in)appropriate was it for the kindly German police to point their cannons at those terribly nice protesters in an attempt to blast them to Kingdom come.

And a free eco-friendly McDo to anyone who can name the Canadian prime minister (without Googling I might add).