Wikipédia "Non, mais allô quoi"

Recognise the catchphrase?

The chances are, even if you're not a fan of reality TV, you'll have heard those words in one form or another over recent weeks.

They formed the now infamous moment of "glorious" telly after being uttered by a certain Nabilla Benatillia during an episode of "Les Anges de la télé-réalité" on NRJ12.
Lost already?

Nabilla (screenshot from "Les Anges de la télé-réalité")

Here's the quickest of recaps.

"Les Anges de la télé-réalité" is a reality TV show (surprise, surprise) first launched back in 2011 to "celebrate" a decade of the genre in France.

Whoopee!

It groups together "stars" (a lot of inverted commas going on here) of previous TV reality shows and allows them to pursue their dreams Stateside.

There have been four seasons so far and in the most recent Benatillia, who has found "fame" with just the use of her first name, uttered a phrase that quickly became something of a cult.

Nabilla, who first hit French TV screens in TF1's "L'amour est aveugle" (don't ask, but if you really want to find out more about that programme, click here, it's truly "fascinating") wanted to further her career as a "model".

And while taking giant steps "to become this country's answer to Kim Kardashian" (don't worry if you're not following any of this or aren't familiar with the names. A quick Internet search will reveal all you need to know) Nabilla spoke the words which were soon to create a buzz in France.

Talking about fellow contestants who had apparently forgotten to bring their shampoo with them (!!!), Nabilla said to camera, "Euh, allô! non, mais allô, quoi. T'es une fille et t'as pas de shampooing? Allô. Allô! Je ne sais pas, vous me recevez? T'es une fille et t'as pas de shampooing? C'est comme si je dis: t'es une fille et t'as pas de cheveux!"



Yes.

Well.

Er.

If you've been following the links in the piece so far, you'll have noticed that most of them are to pieces provided by those fine folk at Wikipedia - the English version that is.

And with good reason.

Because the French equivalent has decided Nabilla isn't newsworthy enough and has dropped her page.

Why?

After all, this is the very same Nabilla who put in such a stunning performance on "Le Grand Journal" on Canal + in mid-April.

Nabilla (screenshot "Le Grand Journal" Canal + April 11, 2013)

Her "catchphrase" was repeated and parodied by media "luminaries" such as journalist Audrey Pulvar and presenter Alessandra Sublet.

Heck even IKEA and Carrefour jumped on the bandwagon to use it in commercials.

But all that is apparently not enough for Wikipédia (French spelling) France as its president, Rémi Mathis, explained to (the culture section of) Le Figaro.

Mathis told the newspaper that to determine whether a person's entry was worth maintaining on Wikipédia, a vote was put to the site's most regular contributors and the outcome had been a 66:44 vote in favour of pulling Nabilla's page.

"It avoids the situation whereby Wikipédia simply seems to be 'peddling the buzz of the week'," he explained.

"Like all rules of Wikipédia, the eligibility criteria have been established by the community," he continued.

"Deleting a page is nothing extraordinary and happens several times a day and it can also transpire that an entry that has been removed, returns at a later date once the person has achieved a certain level of notoriety."

So there's hope yet for Nabilla and her legion of fans...because given a little more exposure (she'll be appearing in the fifth season of "Les Anges de la télé-réalité") and a few more choice expressions under her belt, she could make a return to Wikipédia France.

Just as a certain young Canadian singer did back in 2009, when his page was reinstated after being removed for a couple of months.

Ah. The price of fame!

TF1's passion for Trash TV as "Qui veut épouser mon fils ?" returns for season 2

After a first series back in 2010 of "Qui veut épouser mon fils ?" ("Who wants to marry my son?") in which overbearing mothers, totally unaware of the camera's presence of course, did their level best to help their stay-at-home sons find the perfect partner, you would think TF1 might allow viewers some respite from such obvious Trash TV.

But no - it's not to be.

Sadly the programme has returned for a second season, albeit in a late Friday evening slot which should deter too many French from watching (although its debut got off to what TV critics consider a reasonable start with an audience of almost two-and-a-half million).

Contestant Frédéric doesn't have "any particular preference why it comes to what a woman looks like (screenshot TF1 "Qui veut épouser mon fils ?")

Yes, France's most-watched television station, is treating its viewers to yet another pile of televisual dung masquerading as "entertainment".

Of course TF1 doesn't have a stranglehold on Trash TV.

Another private and generalist channel, M6, has offered up its fair share of McDonald's type fast food TV over the years including its infamous ground-breaking (please help us) "Loft Story".

But TF1, which is after all France's most-watched channel, seems to have made a speciality of providing viewers with the largest assortment of...well you fill in the blanks, but "merde" while a somewhat vulgar description might perhaps be the most appropriate.

Some are "concepts" unique to France. Others are reinterpretations of similar fodder to be found abroad.

There have been a fair number of flops, usually those "starring" (apologies for the need to revert so often to inverted commas) "celebrities"  such "Je suis une célébrité, sortez-moi de là ! (do you really need a translation?) and Carré Viiip, which was cancelled midway through its run.

And there have been those that continue to draw big enough audiences for TF1's execs to take the decision to order yet another batch: "Secret Story" ("Big Brother" - sort of - season seven is in the pipeline for 2013), "Koh Lanta" ("Survivor" which has been broadcast at least once every year since 2001 and has just begun yet another run on Friday prime time TV) and of course "MasterChef".

The list also includes; "Quatre mariages pour une lune de miel" (based apparently on the UK show "Four weddings") in which brides judge and mark each other's big day with the winner being whisked away to a dream destination with her groom; "Bienvenue chez nous" (based yet again on a UK show, "Three in a bed") which proves itself to be the snarkiest possible of programmes as chambre d'hôtes owners do battle to determine who offers the best value for money, and allowing its participants to betray just how mean and inhospitable some of them can be; and "Mon incroyable fiancé", the French version of the US reality TV programme "My big fat obnoxious fiance" but whose title allowed for a variation in the second season where the unpleasant and overweight actor masquerading as a potential beau was replaced with one pretending to be gay.

Are you still following? Or have you, like TF1 bosses it seems, completely lost the plot?
Anyway back - as briefly as possible to "Qui veut épouser mon fils ?"

The novelty of the first series was - wait for this, especially as the debate about same-sex marriage looks set to heat up in France - one of the five mothers looking for a husband for her son.

Just to spice things up a bit for the second season, not all those looking for potential brides for their sons are overbearing mothers: there's also a father.

Serge is looking for the ideal woman...for his son Julien (screenshot TF1 "Qui veut épouser mon fils ?")

Cool. Who do you think came up with that innovation (rhetorical question)?

Anyway, the show is on late enough for it to be effortlessly avoided.

But in case you're curious and haven't had quite enough of the...ahem..."cultural" garbage TF1 churns out with alarming regularity, here's a clip from the first programme, with some of the "best" and worst moments.

Enjoy.

Thank goodness for the remote control and the on/off button.

Ah...love is in the air - or is it "in the meadows"?

If you're a sucker for romance and you love a splash of soppy sentimental TV in easy-to-consume doses, then what the small screen had to offer on Monday evening would have been right up your street; the opening episode of the latest series of "L'amour est dans le pré" on M6.

For those of you unfamiliar with the show it's reality TV (don't groan) based on the British version "Farmer Wants a Wife" (which in turn probably developed the format from the original 1980s Swiss version of "Bauer sucht Bäuerin") which of course more accurately describes what it's all about.

Ah yes, trust the language of Molière to add a veneer of sophistication and grace to something which er...gets straight to the point.

Love down among the cows (screenshot "L'amour est dans le pré", M6 video)

Anyway, somehow it has captured the hearts of many French, regularly drawing in millions of viewers and it's not difficult to understand why.

The principle is simple - the quest for love.

Through a TV show? Impossible you might think.

But it works - well from time to time - although there have been a fair few disasters along the way.

Of the 57 participants in the six previous series, 10 couples have tied the knot and there have been 20 babies born.

All right, so the stats aren't exactly overwhelming, but hey, let's not concentrate on those too much as this is all about "lurrrrrv" and the attempts of some rural-based Lonely Hearts to find their soulmates, albeit rather too publicly perhaps.

Whether they be cereal or livestock farmers, vintners or for the first time this season a bio-apiarist, the one thing they all apparently have in common is that they're looking for love.

Their stories and reasons are as varied as you might expect

Some of them have clearly been persuaded their lives can only be made complete by the presence of another half, while others have been there, done that but it didn't work out and they would like to try all over again. There are also those who don't really want a partner or appear to do everything that would lead you to believe that to be so and others who - um quite simply - are just plain odd.

Different strokes for different folks, the programme-makers put together a blend of the sad, the totally normal (what the heck is that?) the weird (ditto) and the far from wonderful.

They're introduced to viewers early on in the year in a series of cow-slapping, grass-chewing portraits during which the effervescent host, Karine Le Marchand, probes gently, giggles greatly and encourages the participants to reveal exactly what they're looking for.

Then it's up to viewers to write in claiming how much they aspire to jacking in their everyday hum drum life for a wellie-clad one, knee deep in mud.

After reading through the replies (the handsome young hunks of course receive heaps of them while the wrinklies or those with a less-than-appealing character might only be sent a handful) each farmer makes a shortlist of those dames or messieurs to be invited for a round of speed dating.

That's where the fun usually begins because you just know immediately who has the hots for whom, which potential date is a disaster waiting to happen, who's on the show just for fun and their Andy Warhol moment and ...dare it be said...who wants a simple roll in the hay.

Each farmer is allowed to choose two lucky candidates to take back to the farm where they spend the best part of a week as an asking-for-trouble ménage à trois "getting to know each other".

There's a click or not. One contender is summarily dispatched (or sometimes both pack their bags) leaving the way clear for the remaining one to "pursue the adventure".

Flame invites farmer to his or her pad to see life from the other side and then the two of them decide together whether to take up the production team's offer of an all-expenses-paid trip to some "exotic" and "romantic" location where, if "it" hasn't already happened, quite frankly it ain't never gonna do so.

But what the heck. It's television.

So what of this new season? What delights did the lovely Le Marchand and her possé of potential husband and wife-seekers have on offer?

The opening programme featured the letter-opening phase; including a hint of things to come in a future series perhaps when horsebreeder Annie, received one from another woman.

Le Marchand has gone on record as saying she would like to have a gay or lesbian farmer as a candidate (that has already been the case in the equivalent programme in both Belgium and Germany) but so far in France there have been no takers.

Annie politely but definitely said "No thank you" to Martine, but the thinking of the production team in airing the clip could very well have been that it might strike a chord with someone out there willing to "go public".

Anyway, after the letter-opening, the programme followed the shortlisting and speed dating of four of the farmers and their first tentative wellie-clad steps down on the farrrrrrm.

Bertrand (screenshot from M6 video)

Bertrand, a 26-year-old from the Rhône-Alpes region admitted that his initial choice of  shortlisting from the piles and piles and piles of potential Mrs Bertrands was based on...oh here's a surprise - "looks".

So it wasn't too difficult to figure out that he would plump for Caroline, the 27 year-old single mother "shy and sensitive" but confident enough to keep the conversation flowing during the short time the two had to get to know each other.

Sadly for her, Bertrand's other choice was to be a 22-year-old bottled-blonde bombshell who had fibbed about her age because Bertrand had said he had been looking for someone between 26 and 30, but caught his eye none the less with a stonking photo and an equally seductive demeanour during the speed dating.

"She can be forgiven for not giving her real age," a clearly smitten Bertrand said, adding that he hoped there would be no more further surprises in store.

Don't be too sure about that. This is a young woman who has apparently already caused quite a stir on the Net, is "a model and wannabe actress" and...oh you get the picture.

It's a match made in media heaven of course, guaranteed probably to be over before it has begun unless Bertrand really is as sincere as he claims and sees through it all.

The doyenne of the seventh series, Jeanne from the Basque country, is one of those who was probably pushed into participating.

Jeanne (screenshot from M6 video)

She has a busy life combining farming with physiotherapy (not at the same time it must be added) and lives with her son in a beautifully if somewhat austerely furnished house.

At 60, she looks neither particularly interested nor motivated in finding a partner and probably won't have done her cause much good by inviting two rather lame contenders back to her chilly home - no central heating, brrrrr.

Lucien, a former teacher, seems sincere enough, if somewhat dull. But he really should lose that sweater-thrown-oh-so-casually over-the-shoulder look which is...er so 80s.

And as for the other potential Romeo, Jean-Marie. Well the bank manager shares something in common with another contestant from the last series in having eyes that look just a little too manic (dare it be said psychotic) and a sense of humour more appropriate for a hormone-laden teenager when almost licking his lips (figuratively speaking) as he spots a double bed in one of the rooms.

Groan.

There's also a blast from the past of sorts in the choice Michel-Edouard (yep the French love their double-barrelled first names) made from his speed dating session.

He was "snared" by a rather desperate-looking woman, Brigitte, who brings back uncomfortable memories of Nina from last year who ran gushing rings around the milder-mannered Philippe.

Heaven help Michel-Edouard and Josiane, the other woman he invited back to his place who was apparently attracted by his calmness. There's not much likelihood of that while Brigitte is around.

Finally a farmer with a dilemma - Dany who has chosen two very similar women Helena and Sylvie both of whom seem to match what he's looking for,

More or less the same age (29 and 31 respectively) they both claim to "adore the countryside" (yeah, yeah) and would be more than ready to upsticks if chosen...which of course gives Helena a distinct advantage because not only was she clearly Dany's first choice and his "coup de cœur" when sifting through the responses, she also lives quite literally just a few kilometres away.

So there you have it.

The first episode in the latest series of wonderfully gritty and perfectly edited stuff.

Larger than life and totally unrealistic? Yes and no. There's certainly a sense of this being entertainment for TV viewers, that's for sure.

But there's also a definite appeal and feeling, especially in some of the farmers and their "prétendantes", that they really are looking for love - sometimes in all the wrong places of course, but occasionally the right ones too.

"Tourette's Superstar" - French parody - funny or lame?

In March the BBC announced plans to launch a new kind of reality TV show - one which "will follow three Tourette's sufferers as they prepare to sing live in front of friends and family."

It was apparently no April Fool and it didn't take long for French "comedians" to latch on to the idea of parodying the idea.

Nicole Ferroni and Jérémy Ferrari (screenshot "On n'demande qu'à en rire")

The lampooning came in a recent edition of "On n'demande qu'à en rire", an early evening comedy show broadcast on France 2 public television to provide a showcase for new talent.

The whole premise of the programme, devised and presented by Laurent Ruquier, is that established comedians can help give up-and-coming ones a helping hand by telling them what they think of their sketches and voting accordingly.

The studio audience also gets its say as does the viewing public - once a week.

Contestants are given a topical story as the theme of their stand-up routine and if they secure enough points they can come back again...and again...and again.

The whole thing is a sort of wannabe factory production line for would-be comedians with professionals giving their thoughts on those that might follow in their footsteps.

So in principal, the idea has something going for it.

Except for one thing.

It's extremely unfunny most of the time.

On the whole it's not clever or entertaining but rather daft and mindless.

Take the case of that recent sketch lampooning the BBC's plans for a Tourette's TV reality show by Jérémy Ferrari.

It earned the perfect score - 100/100 - from the judges, Ruquier and the studio audience.

Ferrari is one of the darlings of the show having appeared more than 70 times and together with several other regulars, put on a performance of Tourette Academy.

He was the MC - a sort of cross between Benjamin Castaldi (Loft story and Secret Story) and Nikos Aliagas (Star Academy) - his "partners in comic crime" were the contestants.

The audience howled, the judges were full of praise and Ruquier was beside himself.

Really? Was it that funny?

Or do you think it's all...well rather lame?

It doesn't matter if you don't speak French as the sketch really is a case of one where actions speak more clearly than words.

Bienvenue chez nous - snarky French reality TV

TF1 is offering viewers another of those mindless reality TV shows requiring virtually no brain cell activity.

Bienvenue chez nous is a French version of the UK show Three in a bed.

Contestants judging the cleanliness of a (screenshot from TF1 video of Bienvenue chez nous)

It's a Dîner presque parfait (which is a French copy on rival channel M6 of the UK's Come dine with me - what is it with French TV executives? Can't they come up with their own ideas?) for owners of chambre d'hôtes.

Each episode (it's broadcast every evening Monday-Friday) sees owners (they're always in couples) visiting and spending the night in each others' businesses.

At the end of their stay they give marks out of 10 based on four criteria: the friendliness of their hosts, the location of the establishment, the quality of services proposed such as the meals and activities offered to discover the region, and the cleanliness of the rooms and how well-equipped they are - or not.

Viewers get to see the ratings which will be revealed to all those taking part at the end of the week.

Each couple also leaves comments which the featured owners get to read and react to at the end of every programme.

Oh yes. There's one final criterion, kept secret from everyone until the final show - the amount each couple thinks the stay has been worth.

That's the "concept" - yes such a thing exists and is helpfully spelt out on the official website - of the show.


The reality (ouch) is another excuse for people to judge each other, show how ill-behaved and critical they can be of one another in front of the cameras and in general provide a platform for all round snarkery.

Sadly it in no way reflects the bloody hard work that goes in to running a business, and fails to focus on the time, money and effort renovating and maintaining a property or the courage of those brave enough to take the plunge of trying to make a living by inviting complete strangers into their home.

Bienvenue chez nous could be instructive and insightful.

Instead it seems to belittle the efforts made by those who run a chambre d'hôtes and provide a battleground for egos - all in the name of "entertainment".

Bienvenue chez nous?

Given the evidence of those participating in the programme, it would have to be "No thank you."

Mood's Smiley bracelets tipped to become fashion hit for French children

They've only been available since June, but already the buzz in France is that Mood's bracelets are set to become THE fashion accessory for the younger generation in particular this autumn.

Mood's bracelets (screenshot from website)

The bracelets, as described on the company's website, are brightly-coloured silicone bracelets, currently available in 10 smiley emoticons corresponding to different moods and available individually or in a pack.

As the free daily 20 minutes reports they're a "cheap, easy and fun way to express what mood you're in" and much to the surprise of their creators - two French entrepreneurs - they're already proving to be a hit.

And not just with teenagers as Florence Bougault, one those who came up with the concept explains.

"The idea came to Stanislas Henriot and me when we were thinking about all those emoticons that are being used in text messages and chat rooms and which we're very fond of ourselves," she said.

"They're aimed primarily at teenagers, but to our surprise we've seen a lot of mothers buying and wearing them or swapping them with their children."

Smiley (from Wikipedia)

Hardly surprising perhaps as the bracelets have had a healthy dollop of free promotion.

It has come in the form of this year's Secret Story - a French version of the TV reality show Big Brother, only different but by no means better - in which the candidates can (if you're watching closely) be seen wearing them.

And as the show, broadcast throughout the summer, has a daily audience of around 2.4 million viewers for its early evening slot, that's pretty nifty bit of product placement.

As if to emphasise that Mood's is a trend not just in the making, but fast gathering momentum, the French news website Melty.fr is also calling them the 2011 summer must-have among teenagers

And it should know what it's talking about as it's a site specifically aimed at teenagers and young adults.

In fact Google "Mood's bracelets" here in France and you'll soon come up with several sites and blogs talking about how they've already become the fashion accessory for summer and are expected to become all the rage as new ranges are introduced for the autumn.

Next up - coloured elastic bands as glorified fashion statements?

Whoops - they've already been and gone in the form of Sillybandz.

French TV pulls the plug on Carré Viiip

The Powers that Be at France's main private television channel, TF1, have decided to stop its latest venture into the realms of reality TV after barely two weeks.

On Thursday TF1 announced that it was dropping Carré Viiip with immediate effect.

Carré Viiip RIP (screenshot from programme trailer)

Just a refresher for those of you not in the know.

Carré Viiip was launched just less than two weeks ago amid the usual ostentatious fanfare that accompanies these things.

The "concept" (if that's not exaggerating a little) was to unite eight supposéd celebrities, who had made their names in previous reality shows, with the same number of anonymous wannabes eager to take their place.

It was meant to mark the 10th anniversary of reality television programmes in France.

Except it didn't quite turn out that way.

Instead it has come to an ignominious end with TF1 dropping it completely and replacing it with imported US series.

Officially it was because of poor ratings as TF1's director of programmes, Laurent Storch, explained on Europe 1 radio.

"Yesterday (Thursday) it only attracted 13 per cent of the total viewing public for its time slot and that's far too low for TF1, " he said.

"We've been trying hard with Endemol (the show's producers) to find a solution but it's clear that after 12 consecutive days of poor ratings, it's simply not winning over its target audience," he continued.

"The programme was stopped on Thursday and there'll be no weekly prime time show on Friday because that would be pointless."

While that might be the official version, there's no getting over the controversy that has surrounded the show especially after Michèle Cotta openly criticised it.

She's a former president of the television and radio watchdog le Haute Autorité de la communication audiovisuelle - the predecessor of Le Conseil supérieur de l'audiovisuel.

And she was also a member of Endemol's ethic committee - until she resigned earlier this week.

"I like reality TV when it's programmes such as Fear Factor or Koh Lanta because they give a voice to people who are not known," she said.

"But in Carré Viiip the candidates take part to make themselves 'known' at any cost and that's just not one of the values I hold to be important."

There was of course the case of M6 cancelling Trompe-Moi si tu peux (Cheat on me if you dare) in July last year before the programme aired because one of the candidates had committed suicide.

But TF1's decision marks the first time a show using the format of cutting of candidate from the outside world has been stopped in such a manner.

It's proof that someone, somewhere at TF1 has good judgement - although perhaps real praise could only have been heaped on the channel had it decided in the first place not to schedule such a pile of rubbish.

Sadly while Carré Viiip has bitten the dust, it doesn't look as though it'll herald the end of reality TV in France.

Secret Story is still scheduled to return for a fifth series later in the year.

Carré Viiip marks a decade of reality TV in France

It's 10 years since television viewers in France were first "treated" to the delights of reality TV.

And to mark the occasion, TF1 has launched what can only be described as a right load of rubbish - wannabe-celebrity style.

Carré Viiip - yes there really are that many "i"s in what presenter Elsa Fayer told the almost four million in front of their screens for Friday's launch - stands for "Verrry eemporrrrtant perrrrrson".

It unites eight supposéd celebrities with the same number of anonymous wannabes eager to take their place.

Celebrities Benoît Dubois and Thomas Vitello (screenshot from Carré Viiip trailer)

From now until the end of May the viewers will get the chance to determine which particular non-entity will walk off with the €150,000 first prize, and the show promises to be as idiotic as the concept.

A concept which is simple - isn't it always? - with no need for Einstein revelations.

Eight supposéd "stars" (the term has to be used loosely) - each a product of previous TV reality shows of similarly dubious taste - are challenged for their VIP status by eight "wannabes" (or Wanna Viiips).

They live together in the tackiest (it's all a matter of taste perhaps, but...) of luxury lofts and are expected over the coming weeks to "create a buzz" within the media and drum up something that resembles more than 15 minutes of fame.

At their disposal they have the support of several weekly glossy gossip rags, personalised websites, a whole machinery of self-promotion provided by the production team and daily appearances (of course) on French TV screens.

Each week the public will vote and one not-so-important-after-all person will be eliminated.

As usual the means to stay in the game are likely to be as vulgar as those that have become the trademark of reality TV: screaming, shouting, insults, lewdness, nudity and general idiocy - which shouldn't be too much of a stretch.

If anyone who flips on the television remote is under the impression that it couldn't get worse after Loft 1 and 2, Secret Story 1, 2, 4 and 4, Dilemma, Ile de la tentation, La Ferme Célébrités, Qui veut épouser mon fils ? and a whole host of other trash TV, then TF1 looks set to try to prove otherwise.

Perhaps it's all meant to be "ironic" - well apparently at least as far as the production team might be concerned.

But the line-up of celebs and wannabes somehow casts doubt on that, as most would probably be incapable of spelling "irony" let alone recognising its existence.

Yes they might be "playing a role" - or "overplaying" it might be more appropriate - in a completely fake concept destined to amuse and entertain, but somehow it's hard to imagine that the likes of Benoît, Cindy or François-Xavier (some of the so-called celebs) or their pretenders, Xénia, Aurélie or Noam will have anything other a fleeting impact on those watching.

Let's hope so.

In the meantime it's "Vive la France, vive la télé-réalité!"

French reality TV's gay touch

As one reality show disappears from the screen of France's most popular national TV channel another one takes its place.

And both have something more in common than their time slot, target audience and less-than-challenging level of mindless entertainment; what could be called a gay touch.

Benjamin and Odile - son and mother from "Qui veut épouser mon fils ?" (snapshot from TF1 teaser)

"Secret Story" finished last week and it was the openly gay Benoît Dubois who picked up the winner's cheque of €150,000.

Dubois and his sidekick Thomas Vitiello seemed to become something of a cult among younger viewers especially as they camped and cattily commented their way through the three months they spent together.

The pair met in the Big Brother-style house and quickly formed the indomitable duo of "Brigitte and Josiane" (Dubois and Vitiello respectively) aka for the purposes of the show as the "Gayssip boys" - a term dreamt up for them by the production team.

And if all goes according to (their) plans Dubois and Vitiello have said they hope they'll become a more permanent feature on French television screens in the near future!

With Secret Story over, TF1 is serving up the delicious "Qui veut épouser mon fils ?" ("Who wants to marry my son?") as a replacement.

As the title suggests it features mothers - five of them - who will try to find future brides for their still-at-home male offspring.

Except from the teaser provided by TF1, it's clear that not all of the mothers involved are looking for potential daughters-in-law.

One of them, Odile, is looking for a "husband" (inverted commas because same-sex marriage doesn't exists in France although civil unions in the forms of PACS do) for her 28-year-old son, Benjamin.

Exclu web les premieres images de l episode 1 qui veut épouser mon fils Vidéo qui-veut-epouser-mon-fils sélectionnée dans TV/Séries

His participation marks the first time a reality television programme of the genre in which contestants "search for love"on a major domestic channel in France includes an openly gay man.

And to an extent TF1 has stolen a march over its main commercial rival M6.

It was supposed to feature a gay farmer among its candidates in the last season of "L'amour est dans le pré" ("Farmer wants a wife") but he reportedly pulled out at the last moment.

Is Benjamin's involvement in the show a bold move for TF1, a reflection of changes in French society or simply a ploy to boost audience figures by attracting the "pink" viewer - or all three?

Of course it's not the first time there has been a gay contestant in a reality TV show in France.

Back in 2002 during the second season of "Loft Story" on M6, one of the eventual winners, Thomas Saillofest, came out.

In last year's edition of "Secret Story" there was a lesbian couple from Belgium who split soon after the show finished.

A similar fate befell another Belgian couple (male) after they were eliminated during the last season of Pékin Express on M6 (even though they purportedly went into show to test the strength of their relationship with a view to tying the knot officially afterwards.)

And let's not forget "Zhoom", launched earlier this month on Pink TV, the country's only gay channel.

Zhoom - France's first gay TV reality show hits the small screen

This weekend sees the launch in France of the country's first gay reality TV programme - Zhoom.

On Saturday nine contestants aged from 18-30 will be unveiled in a show whose format is described as "original" but which might be more than vaguely familiar to viewers who've already had a taste of what other reality TV shows have to offer.

Adrien, Dany, Florian, John, Lucas, Marvyn, Remy, Sébastien and Tybo will be split into two teams living in separate houses and who'll compete "in games of agility, speed and general knowledge" according to blurb on the official website.

Zhoom host Carlo Sata (screenshot from trailer)

Their goal is to win immunity to avoid elimination and the whole shebang will be overseen by the programme's host, Carlo Sata.

"Strategies and seduction" (hardly a first) are the promised ingredients to spice up the show.

It was perhaps only a matter of time before Pink TV, France's only gay channel, jumped on the reality TV bandwagon that seems to have become a mainstay of television schedules ever since Loft Story first hit viewers' screens back in 2001.

A quick flick of the remote control proves there's apparently no letting up in the trend.

Addicts can currently enjoy Secret Story, France's answer to Big Brother only more downmarket if that were possible (although it was recently challenged for that "accolade" by W9's tasteful offering Dilemme).

It'll reach its climax in a couple of weeks but it has apparently been so successful that a fifth season is promised for next year.

After it ends its time slot will be filled by a new programme, "Qui veut épouser mon fils ?" ("Who wants to marry my son?").

Meanwhile the tenth season of Koh Lanta (Survivor) is in full swing and there's also a series of the French version of MasterChef hogging a weekly chunk of prime time viewing.

Back to Zhoom though.


Zhoom, la nouvelle télé-réalité gay de Pink TV
envoyé par minou60300. - Futurs lauréats du Sundance.

The show was shot back in June and will be airing the first of its eight 50-minute episodes at 11.00 pm local time on Saturday.

It'll be broadcast simultaneously on Pink TV - a cable and satellite channel only available to those who subscribe - and Zhoom TV on the Net which will provide an X-rated version.

And the winner is....

"Who wants to marry my son?" set to hit French TV screens

Oh great, France's most-watched television station, the private channel TF1, is bringing its viewers another slice of life in the form of the seemingly ubiquitous reality TV format.

Starting at the end of the month will be "Qui veut épouser mon fils ?" ("Who wants to marry my son?") a show in which, as the title suggests, mothers will try to find future brides for their male offspring.

In total, five mothers (seven are featured in the trailer but two of the contestants won't make an appearance in the show) will be looking for the perfect partner for their sons aged 25 to 39 and who have not yet "flown the nest" and are still happily living at home.

"My son has a good job and has been very well-raised," says one mother in the official trailer to the programme which begins on October 29.

"I'm looking for a partner who will please him...and also me," she adds ominously.

Another mother introduces her son by saying, "He has a weakness for buxom girls, but they're just not interested in him."

Screenshot from official trailer of Qui veut épouser mon fils. "He has a weakness for buxom girls, but they're just not interested in him."

And a third is adamant that her son is, "Very, very (she has to repeat it) attractive and she's looking for a very (there's that word again) beautiful girl because she wishes him to be part of an exceptional couple".

The mothers of course get to choose which woman will make the "perfect partner" with the sons having to plump at the end to follow their "new love" or stay with their mothers.

Oh yes it promises to be intellectually stimulating, totally original and very cultured. Just the sort of programme that has been missing (not) from the small screen in France and brings variety and taste in abundance to viewers.

The show will fill the slot currently occupied by Secret Story - France's answer to Big Brother only more downmarket if that were possible - which comes to the end of its fourth season a week earlier.

And as TVMag.com points out its inclusion in the Friday night line up ensures that TF1 remains 100 per cent reality TV for the evening as it'll follow immediately after Koh Lanta (the French version of Survivor) currently in its 10th season and still happily pulling in millions of viewers.

Thank heavens for the on/off button!

Qui veut epouser mon fils - Petites annonces

Reality TV show cancelled after contestant's suicide

M6 has cancelled the airing of a new reality show following the death of one of the candidates.

"Trompe-Moi si tu peux" (Cheat on me if you dare) had been due to begin airing on the national commercial channel later this week.

But on Tuesday M6 issued a short statement on its website saying the programme would be withdrawn from its schedule after the death of one of the candidates.

Although the cause of death was not given "out of respect for the family" reports soon emerged in the French media that the candidate, 32-year-old Jean-Pierre, had committed suicide.

The monthly showbiz and gossip monthly Entrevue was the first to break the news reporting that Jean-Pierre had hanged himself at his apartment after leaving a message on his mobile 'phone in which he blamed his former boyfriend Hakim for his decision to take his life.

The pair had taken part in "Trompe-Moi si tu peux", shot in the Dominican Republic in April, along with what the production company said were nine other "real couples".

Speaking on national radio Matthieu Bayle, the programme's producer, said there was no link between what had happened and Jean-Pierre's participation in the show.

"We were very close to Jean-Pierre during the shoot and we're devastated by the news" he said.

"On the 'phone just last week, Jean-Pierre said how he eager was to finally see the show," he added, insisting that the contestant's death had been a "personal tragedy".

The concept of "Trompe-Moi si tu peux" was for each contestant to hide the identity of their real partner from the rest of those taking part with the winning pair walking off €39,000 richer.

At the beginning of each episode everyone was assigned a new partner and together they had to try to convince the others that they were a real pair through a series of intimate games designed to "incite the jealousy of the true partner" as the national daily Le Parisien-Aujourd'hui en France described it.

Every time the identity of a real couple was revealed they would be eliminated from the game.

M6 had scheduled the programme to compete head-to-head with another reality TV show, "Secret Story", which returns for its fourth season on France's largest commercial channel TF1 on Friday evening.

Instead, as Bayle told Europe 1 national radio, the show would never be broadcast.

Cathy Sarraï - the death of the French Super Nanny

Tributes have been rolling in thick and fast after the death was announced on Wednesday of Cathy Sarraï.

Don't worry if you've never heard of her. The name - until this week - probably wasn't familiar to most French.

But her face was known to millions as she was the woman who shot to fame as the country's Super Nanny in the television programme of the same name.

Just hours after the announcement of her death, tributes sprung up all over the Net from those she had helped and others who had simply been moved by the programme in which she had appeared.

A rap group posted a hommage on YouTube and M6, the channel which broadcast the show in which Sarraï appeared, said it would be airing a special programme this coming weekend dedicated to her.



A reality TV programme based on the British equivalent and successfully exported around the world, the French version of Super Nanny began in 2005 and featured "Cathy" as she was better knwn helping parents cope with children who were "out of control".

With her trademark heavy-rimmed rectangular glasses, tailored black uniform and hair severely tied back in a bun, Sarraï could have seemed almost a caricature of the role she filled in first observing and then helping parents put in place a set or rules that would help them handle otherwise seemingly unmanageable children.

But read through many of the comments left on sites after the announcement of her death was made public, and it becomes clear that a lot of viewers, families she had helped and headline writers saw much more in the role she personified than a simple disciplinarian.

"A national icon" is how the weekly news magazine, L'Express, led its story. "Sadness on Twitter," reported the weekly celebrity magazine, Voici and radio broadcaster Jean-Marc Morandini devoted a portion of his morning show taking calls from listeners who wanted to pay tribute to her.

Born Kalthoum Sarraï in Tunis on September 25, 1962, Sarraï was one of seven children.

She was engaged at the age of 14, married at 16 and after arriving in France in 1979 gave birth to three children.

Sarraï did a number of odd jobs before qualifying as a professional child carer and obtaining a diploma and a nursery nurse assistant, which allowed her to become a nanny.

"Mine was something of an unusual path," she wrote in her autobiography, published in 2006.

"While in Tunis I lived in the heart of the family sheltered from everything and then I came to Paris and leapt into the unknown," she continued.

"In France I had to learn everything: the language, customs, my job."

Her big break came in 2005 when she was introduced to millions of television viewers as "Cathy" the nation's Super Nanny, a role she made her own over the next four years.

Cathy Sarraï died on the night of Tuesday to Wednesday aged 47 after a long battle against lung cancer.

French reality TV's dubious standards

As some of you might be aware, there's a very Secret Story making its daily appearance on television screens here in France at the moment.

Or the "house of deceit" as one particular contestant perhaps more accurately described it a few weeks ago.

Just as a reminder, it's in essence the French answer to Big Brother - only more downmarket.

Impossible you might think, but sadly true.

If you're really interested, you can read more about it here.

For the moment though, put aside whatever judgements you might have as to the quality and value of the programme, and what the high ratings say about the television viewing habits of the French public over the summer.

Instead let's look at just how the production team deals with personal issues and in particular family tragedies that might occur during the period in which candidates are effectively cut off from the real world.

It surely says a great deal about what reality TV programme makers now apparently consider to be acceptable.

During an interview this week with the Internet entertainment site Purepeople.com, the programme's artistic director (yes there really is such a person) Angélique Sansonetti, revealed that although there was a strict rule about candidates having no contact with the outside world during their time in the house, exceptions were, and had been made.

She told the site that the production team had received a call from the mother of one of the candidates at the end of July informing them that there had been a death in the family - that of his grandfather, to whom he was reportedly very close.

"I took the call and immediately asked the candidate to come to the 'phone so that he could talk to his mother," said Sansonetti, who went on to describe what any responsible production team would do under the circumstances; calling on the services of a psychologist who works on the show and allowing the candidate to attend his grandfather's funeral accompanied all the time by a member of the production team "to ensure that none of the rules of the game were broken."

None of the other participants in Secret Story were told what had happened.

The compassion shown towards the 21-year-old candidate didn't end there though.

He was given the choice of leaving the game permanently or returning to the house after the funeral.

"It was his decision to remain in show," said Sansonetti.

"He thought it would be easier to deal with being surrounded by people who weren't aware of what had happened," she continued.

"We respected his choice and that of his family. There was never any question of creating media hype over what had happened. That simply goes against our principles."

Ah so the production team not only has an expert on hand in the form of a psychologist able to help and advise a young man through the grieving process, it also has principles.

Presumably exactly the same principles that have ensured that another of the candidates, a 32-year-old woman, has had little or no contact with her eight-year-old daughter ever since the "adventure" began back at the end of June.

But that of course is another story.

Vive reality TV!

More Trash TV hits French screens

French television viewers love reality TV programmes.

Uh hang about a moment, perhaps that should read that French television channels think that those tuning in are fans of the genre.

At least that's what could be concluded from the number of "variations on the same theme" and amount of airtime given over to them in the scheduling.

No sooner is one about to come to an end, and another is happily entertaining audiences daily, than a third makes its reappearance on the small screen.

The latest addition to the ranks is "Mon Incroyable Fiancé 2", on TF1, the country's largest private channel. It's is a gay variant of the first series from four years ago, "Mon Incroyable Fiancé" based on the US show "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance".

Meanwhile over on the other main private channel, M6, "L'amour est dans le pré" ("Farmer wants a wife") is coming to the climax of its fourth season.

And currently running of course on TF1, is Secret Story 3 (for more on that gem click here), which is in fine fettle, midway through its planned summer-long run.

Yep France has been awash with reality shows for several years now and there seems to be no end in sight.

You might have noticed that the main providers of such cultural delights are the country's two main national private terrestrial channels, TF1 and M6.

Public television in the shape of France 2 so far seems to have avoided producing such shows.

It all started back in 2001 with "Loft Story" (M6), which ran for two seasons and made instant stars of its contestants, most of whom enjoyed their 15 minutes of fame and then slipped back into everyday life.

There followed a slew of shows, most notoriously perhaps seven seasons of the admirable "L'isle de la tentation" (TF1), before it was cancelled, where couples' fidelity was put to the test against the flirting onslaught of a bevvy of buxom beauties and handsome hunks.

The same reality TV formula was used in the talent show "Star Academy" (TF1), which is threatening a return for a ninth year in the autumn.

It, of course, has given France and the world a handful of "stars" (to be counted on the fingers of one hand) and a whole heap of non-entities who presumably returned whence they came, or at the very least succeeded only in disappearing from the public eye once eliminated or after the show was over.

"Pékin Express" on M6 and TF1's "Koh Lanta" ("Survivor") have both attracted viewers by combining reality TV with a game show, and so-called personalities have also been dragged in to the act with a host of minor stars taking part in "Je suis une célébrité, sortez-moi de là!" ("I'm a Celebrity…Get Me out of Here!") and "La ferme célébrités", both on TF1. The latter is due for a return to screen in the autumn after a gap of four years.

The list could go on of course, as France hasn't escaped what seems to have become a worldwide trend in relatively inexpensive-to-produce Trash TV.

But for the moment, back to "Mon Incroyable Fiancé 2".

Just as the first edition of the show four years ago, it's full of clichés as it tries apparently to entertain viewers with "humour".

The overweight and overloud actor who played the role of the intended in the last series has been replaced by one pretending to be gay.

Back in 2005, the "contestant" Adeline, was trying to fool her family into believing that she was marrying a vulgar oaf, played by Laurent Ournac. What she didn't know was that Ournac, and his equally objectionable family, were all actors.

Similarly the new series has heterosexual Christopher trying to convince his family that he has suddenly found love with another man, Emeric Dumont, and the two are planning to tie the knot in Spain, where same-sex couples may marry.

What Christopher doesn't know of course is that Emeric and the rest of the Dumont family are once again actors who have been coached, even though he must surely have been aware of the "concept" of the show (yes there is such a thing apparently) when it first aired in 2005.

Or perhaps he didn't have a television.

At stake is €100,000 worth of prize money.

Ah well, never mind that the programme relies on, and reinforces stereotypes.

It's all in the name of entertainment...and money of course.

Happy viewing.

French television's not so "Secret Story"

It's not hard to tell that summer has arrived here in France; all the signs are pointing to the fact. Some of them obvious, others less so.

First up of course there's the date - a dead giveaway although the weather is still trying to make up its mind as to which season it is.

Then of course there's the dress code, which can still be something of a concern for fashion-conscious Parisians as shorts and simplicity threaten to replace chic and sophisticated.

There are the music festivals - including La Fête de la musique (World music day) on June 21, inaugurated in 1982 by the then culture minister Jack Long, and now very much a tradition up and down the country.

Other tell-tale signs include prime time television news reports focussing on the queues at airports and the number of passengers passing through the French capital's major railway stations, rather than hard news.

The inside lanes of the motorways start filling up with bumper-to-bumper traffic including more than their fair share of Dutch cars, trailers and caravans, busting at the seams with provisions for a month.

But the real clue that the whole shebang is underway has to be the reappearance on the small screen of "Secret Story".

It reared its less-than-attractive head on Friday evening on the country’s number one national channel, TF1, and is set to be in everyone's sitting rooms for the next couple of months.

In essence it's France's answer to Big Brother - only more downmarket. Impossible you might think, but sadly true.

Basically the idea is very simple. It starts with 18 people, strangers to each other - with the odd exception, as will become clearer later on - moving into a built-for-TV house, where they'll be under the watchful eye of the production team and the viewing public.

Each carries with them into the house a "secret" - and the idea is to keep it hidden from the others for as long as possible while trying to cajole out of fellow house mates exactly what they're trying to keep under wraps.

Off camera there is also the deep bass booming tones of The Voice (La Voix), dropping hints whenever he feels like it, setting playful if somewhat idiotic tasks with cash rewards should they be completed successfully without anyone else in the house realising.

Every week two candidates are nominated and television viewers get to vote in a ‘phone poll (at premium rates of course) on who should stay in. Original stuff huh?

Yes the country which so often likes to think that it has taken the cultural highroad, brought the world classics in the fields of literature, art and music, prides itself on its language and traditions, cuisine, fine wines and haute couture - now proves once again that it can mix it with the best and worst of what the world of reality TV has to offer.

The new series, which kicked off on Friday evening, introduced yet another bevy of brainless beauties and beefcake, each seemingly desperate for their "15 minutes of fame" and probably more than likely to do anything over the coming weeks to make sure they're remembered.

Should you feel so inclined, you can read about some of their real identities and secrets here (in English) and of course discover more on all 18 of them (in French) by surfing the Net (here's where to start perhaps).

As compulsive and trashy as Secret Story might be it'll still more than likely pull in the viewers and become its own story in itself as the nation tut-tuts and hisses in disapproval and indignation at the antics of the previous night's revelations.

Oh well. In the indomitable words of La Voix “C’est tout pour le moment."

Secret Story - this year's "hall of fame"

After last year's dubious dollop of "culture" introduced to the French public amongst others a lesbian couple from Belgium (who started off the series intending to get married, but ended up going their separate ways), a black mother and her white daughter, an Anglican minister, an undertaker and a teenage father, a Don Juan with more than 750 "conquests" and such similar secrets, the production team this year has stepped up a gear to ensure maximum in-fighting and hopefully high ratings.

Among those who will be gracing French sitting rooms over the next couple of months with their presence are the following.

Probably the best known housemate (at least in this country) is Rachel Legrain Trapani. She was Miss France in 2006 and has agreed to "dress down" and play the part of Rosa, a student.

Unfortunately for her (and the programme makers), the other contestants quickly noted the slightly-more-than-striking resemblance to her real self (now there's a surprise), and her secret looks sure to be the first to be revealed.

More alter egos are on supply in the shape of Louise and her husband Didier from the Indian Ocean island of La Réunion. They've entered the house together with their trusted friend "Alicia" - in reality Didier, who likes to dress up in women's clothing.

To guarantee harmony and calm within the house there's, Emilie from the northern French city of Lille, along with her "best friend" Vanessa. The two 21-year-olds probably have a few scores to settle as apparently (their secret) the latter tried to pinch the former's boyfriend

Vancouver native, Maya, who only eats fruit and vegetables and lives in a bus (perhaps there's a link- and apparently is more than happy with her lifestyle. The 29-year-old sounds as though she could be a bundle of laughs.

Beauty and beefcake in one - well at least as far as he's concerned - are supplied by 21-year-old Kevin who says of himself, "I know that I'm good-looking and I could be the son of Brad Pitt." Nothing like false modesty there then....and that's nothing like false modesty.

Bumping up the average age of the candidates by more than a few years (by now you'll have noticed how young most of them are and could therefore be forgiven for agreeing to take part in such a show in the first place) is 53-year-old Elisabeth Fanger.

At long last someone who has lived long enough to have perhaps a secret worth keeping.

Her story dates back to 1974, when as an 18-year-old student she met an fell in love with Sid Mohamed Badaoui.

In February the following year Badaoui held up a bank in Paris, but things didn't go quite to plan and there was a hostage stand-off during which one of the cashiers and a robber were killed, and it was Fanger (then known as Lili), who first hid him in her family home and then fled the country with him.

And so began life on the run, with Fanger "tracked by Interpol" eventually returning to France to face charges and being found guilty of aiding and abetting fugitives. She was sentenced but received a pardon, and then did what anyone would do under the circumstances - wrote an autobiography, which in 2004 was made into a film "À tout de suite" (Right Now).

A colourful past by anyone's assessment, and one, which given the average age of most of the other housemates, will more than likely remain a secret from them for a pretty long time - unless they're given copious clues by the production team.

Finally, just in case your appetite hasn't already been sufficiently whetted, here are some of the other not-so-closely-guarded secrets, as far as the viewing public is concerned.

There's a millionaire in the house, someone who has decided to remain a virgin, a "genius" (presumably there's evidence to back that up), a survivor of the 2004 tsunami, a former mistress of a Ballon d'Or (European football of the year) winner, and of course the "mystery candidate" who has yet to enter the house.

The show will doubtless have the same sort of petty rivalries, squabbles and handbags-at-dawn stuff that characterised much of the previous two series. Indeed, that's exactly what it thrives on.

But breathe a sigh of relief because at least it’s all being done in the name of entertainment. And as much as some might question why and find it “outrageous”, there’ll probably still be millions tuning in.

Let’s also not forget there’s always the “off” button on the TV set or alternative viewing on other channels.