Gérard Depardieu, Brigitte Bardot - Daniel Cohn-Bendit's "morons"

It has been one of those stories whose legs have surely proven that it has more than runs its course.

Gérard Depardieu's decision last December to buy a house in Belgium has taken on proportions that perhaps not even the most enthusiastic of spoof writers could have imagined.

But as with much seemingly silly news - albeit with serious undertones - the media is keeping it going...and going...and going (when will it be gone?) .

And the main protagonist is of course playing his larger-than-life role like a real pro.

The latest stroke of genius from one of France's "greatest living actors" is that he's not leaving France for tax reasons.

"I have a Russian passport, but I remain French and I will probably also soon have dual Belgian nationality," Depardieu told the new French sports channel L'Equipe 21.

"If I had wanted to avoid paying taxes, as the French press keeps reporting, I would have left France a long time ago."

Meanwhile Brigitte Bardot - another great Gallic cinematogapraphic treasure - has threatened to jump upon the same Moscow express as darling Gégé unless two sick elephants  at Lyon's Tête d'Or zoo are allowed to live.

"Baby" and "Nepal" both have tuberculosis and are considered a danger by the authorities to the zoo's other animals and visitors alike.

BB - Bardot that is - wants to save them and unless she gets her way, she's warning she'll pack her bags and move to Moscow (that's paraphrasing at its most lazy).

Now, all kudos to Bardot for her animal rights campaigning (if not for her political tendencies), but it's another media yawnathan - and besides, where's the proof that she carries the same sort of heavyweight clout with Russia's democratically (cough, splutter - excuse us all) leader as dear Gégé?

Finally (except it's hard to believe it really is) Hallelujah!  Enter stage left - but not as quite far left as he used to be, Dany le rouge - aka Daniel Cohn-Bendit.

Now you might not agree with his politics, but there's no doubt that Cohn-Bendit has proven himself down the years to be a man of principle: one who speaks his mind, doesn't practise the fine political art of langue de bois and thus will probably never really make it to the highest seat of power. Not that such a position is necessarily among his ambitions.

Besides he's a committed European - which means we have to forgive him for many of his faults as it's clear it'll never make him sufficiently "popular" in any country in which the "national interest" is often played as the trump card.

Anyway, Dany  - sorry, Cohn-Bendit - has had perhaps the best summing up of anyone so far in expressing his thoughts for both Gégé and BB.

At the weekend he was interviewed on BFM TV and, as you can hear from the video,  didn't mince his words, calling them both "morons" whose careers were finished.

For Cohn-Bendit, Depardieu was a "fool" and in saying Russia was a "great democracy" showed himself to be "really sick and completely full of alcohol to say such nonsense."

As for Bardot...well, Cohn-Bendit was equally scathing. "And then the other one who wants to leave France to go to Russia: to go from Saint-Tropez to Siberia," he said.

"That would be great for her. She could spend every winter in Siberia in a concentration camp for example, or a prison."



Now, who else could apply for Russian citizenship?

In fact could we all join in and nominate people to dispatch to Moscow along the lines of a French version of the UK radio television programme "Room 101"?

French town seeks elephant ban from beach

Yes you read correctly. The mayor of a French town wants to slap a ban on elephants tramping along its beach.

On the northwestern coast of France in the department of Manche there's a small town called Granville - population around 13,000.

It dates back to the 12th century and is of course steeped in history, much of it military and religious, plus it has plenty of sites worth more than a cursory visit.

There's also a harbour and a beach, which all-in-all makes it a pretty good holiday destination for many especially as the country is in the midst of a heatwave.

The ideal place to combine culture with a suntan and grab some relief from temperatures in the mid-30s.

A visiting circus is about to throw open its doors, which of course under normal circumstances wouldn't hit the national headlines.

That is if it were not for the mayor of the town attempting to take a decision that quite frankly meets most of the criteria necessary for filling column inches and making the airwaves during what is traditionally the season for silly news.

You see Daniel Caruhel wants to ban elephants from walking on the town's Hérel beach.

Perhaps not a common problem in this particular part of the world but one which, when the circus is in town, presents a potential health hazard as far as the mayor is concerned.

And it's nothing to do with the size of the beasts - well no directly at least. More the dimensions of what they leave behind.

Caruhel doesn't seem to have anything against the pachyderms per se, it's just that past experience has apparently forced him to take steps.

"There's no doubt that it's pleasant having elephants around but their presence is a disaster for the quality of the bathing water," he says.

"Last year two circuses came to town and set up shop opposite the beach and their (the elephants') deposits led us to having to close the beach twice."

Ahem.

There is a serious side to the story of course, as Granville is situated in a part of the channel separating France from Britain, which has regularly been affected by pollution and especially illegal fuel discharges into the sea.

But as yet elephants haven't really featured high on the list of polluters and as Stéphane Gistau, one of the directors of the Amar circus points out, the town is unlikely to be knee deep in elephant dung during its two-day stay.

"The sea has suffered from the effects of pollution for years, and now the authorities want to ban our animals from the beach just for leaving behind a few droppings," he says.

"It's a shame as it gives people the chance to see the animals up close for nothing, but now they'll have to pay the two euros to come and visit them at the circus."