Cheap airlines tickets - don't be fooled by them

OK so the accompanying video doesn't have a great deal to do with France perhaps - apart from the fact that over the years an increasing number of foreign-based budget airlines have opened up the market by flying into (mainly) provincial destinations.

Ryanair and EasyJet lead the pack of course but there's also FlyBe, Vueling, German Wings, Air Berlin and many, many more. It all depends on where you want to go really.

But one thing many of them share in common are those so-called "hidden costs".

The initial price of the ticket looks like great value.

Only once you start including airport tax, excess baggage charges, the cost of getting to and from an airport which is often miles away from where you actually want to be (The Paris airport which Ryanair uses to "serve" the French capital is actually a good 70 kilometres away) the real "price" you end up paying is far from the original "bargain".

Fascinating Aïda (screenshot from YouTube video)

And that's very much the message behind this hilarious song from the British comedy singing group and satirical cabaret act, Fascinating Aïda.

"Cheap flights" might be a few years old now and contain some rather ribald lyrics for those of you who are faint-hearted (this version comes with subtitles to help you cope with the accent) but it's hysterically funny and - well let's just say - spot on.

Enjoy.

France's embarrassment and anger over Strategic Airlines

Strategic Airlines - a charter company banned by France - makes a mockery of the country's civil aviation authority and takes advantage of a lack of European Union-wide regulations.

(screenshot from TF1 news)

In a special report during its prime time news on Monday, French television channel TF1 looked at how a European subsidiary of the Australian-based company Strategic Airlines had managed to flout a ban placed on it by the French civil aviation authority last September.

The charter airline simply moved its headquarters to neighbouring Luxembourg, as a "completely separate subsidiary" gained a licence from that country's aviation authority, and continued its flights from French airports to destinations in Greece and Portugal.

Strategic Airlines first gained a licence to fly in Europe in 2009 but its name soon became synonymous, as far as passengers and authorities in France were concerned, with technical problems and delays.

Complaints about waits of up to 30 hours because of technical problems and 'planes described by passengers as "flying coffins" as well as spot-checks carried out French civil aviation authority officials led to its licence being revoked in September 2010.

But just a few weeks later the company was back in business.

It had found a loophole in European Union regulations: there is no single agency within the 27-member state bloc responsible for overseeing airlines.

Perhaps the European Aviation Safety Agency would be the body most able to fulfil that function, but its role is limited as it makes clear on its website.

"The Agency works hand in hand with the national authorities which continue to carry out many operational tasks, such as certification of individual aircraft or licencing of pilots."

In other words each member state is responsible for deciding whether a licence will be issued to an airline and although a blacklist of airlines exists, it only applies to non-European companies.

And, according to Gilles Gompertz the general manager of the airline consulting business Avico, Strategic took full advantage of the inadequacy of EU-wide regulations.

"We closed the the door (to the airline) in September 2010 and one month later we opened the window," he said.

"What cannot be explained is the refusal by the company to correct faults and to return to the market after it has effectively been banned. That's shocking."

While Luxembourg's civil aviation authority is apparently "keeping a close eye" on Strategic's operations, it did little to prevent the airline once again upsetting passengers in December, this time those bound for the island of Madeira.

After a 10-hour wait, they were informed that their 'plane had been cancelled - an incident the airline put down to having been the fault of the tour operator.

Investigation to be launched into passenger revolt at Toulouse airport

France's junior minister of transport, Thierry Mariani, has called for an enquiry into the events of Saturday evening at Toulouse's Blagnac international airport which saw passengers aboard a Moroccan lowcost Jet4you 'plane stage what has widely been reported as a "mutiny".

Jet4you 'plane on the tarmac at Blagnac airport, Toulouse (screenshot BFM TV)

But he remained guarded in an interview on national radio, stressing that, "Passengers taking over an aircraft could not be approved."

"We'll try to find out what really happened, and if the company is at fault, there will be sanctions," he told Europe 1 radio on Sunday.

"But the pilot must be the person who is in charge on a 'plane," he added.

The 137 passengers aboard the Casablanca-bound 'plane refused to buckle their seat belts after the captain informed them that the aircraft would be making unscheduled stops in the French cities of Bordeaux and Lyon to pick up other passengers; adding another six hours to what would normally have been a 90 minute journey.

They demanded that the company provide a direct flight to their destination.

What happened next was reminiscent of a similar incident just last month which saw angry Ryanair passengers refuse to leave one of its 'planes when it arrived in the Belgian city of Liège after being diverted from its original destination Beauvais in northern France - 342 kilometres away.

The pilot of the Jet4you 'plane cancelled the flight, allowed those who wanted to, to disembark, cut the lights and heating and left the remaining 85 passengers on board in the dark.

And that's where they spent the whole of Saturday night.

Interviewed by BFM television (see video) the following day some of the passengers described how difficult conditions had been on board the 'plane with children crying and everyone being cold and hungry, and they criticised the airline's lack of professionalism.

Once again it seems a low-cost airline takes the term "budget" to mean that it can do and say anything.

In Ryanair's case it was to have their passengers arrive almost 350 kilometres away from their scheduled destination.

For Jet4you, it seemed more than acceptable to triple the duration of a trip to suit its own planning.

On Sunday the company informed passengers that it would fly them directly to Casablanca in the evening.

But somehow doesn't it all seems rather a lose-lose situation, both for the passengers who spent a miserable night on the tarmac and the airline, which hardly did anything for its PR image?

Angry Ryanair passengers stage a sit-in

Ryanair Boeing 737-800 (Wikipedia, photographer Adrian Pingstone)

Lowcost airline Ryanair might well be the cheapest way for many Europeans to fly from point A to point B, but it surely needs a lesson or two on how to treat its passengers.

During the night of Tuesday to Wednesday more than 100 of them refused to leave one of its 'planes after it arrived in the Belgian city of Liège after being diverted from its original destination Beauvais in northern France - 342 kilometres away.

Beauvais of course is the town Ryanair refers to as "Paris" on its list of destinations, even though it is in fact almost 80 kilometres from the French capital.

Most of those on board were reportedly French, returning from holidays in Morocco, and their night of misery began when the flight left - three hours late - from the Moroccan city of Fez.

Unable to land in Beauvais because it was too late and the airport was closed, the 'plane was diverted to Liège, not a destination to which the airline normally flies, and landed late in the evening at 11.30pm.

But the passengers hadn't been alerted ahead of time according to one of them, Mylene Netange.

"The plane didn't land in Beauvais but in Liege without warning us," she told Agence France Presse.

"Consequently, we refused to leave the plane."

The passengers reportedly refused to be budged for four hours, demanding that an alternative means of getting home be provided.

Remember they were over 300 kilometres away from where they should have been.

But their protests seem to have fallen on deaf ears as far as Ryanair was concerned.

Instead they were left sitting in the dark after the pilot and cabin crew had disembarked and it was airport officials who took over the task of trying to negotiate with them and arrange alternative transportation.

Great PR for Ryanair who, as the French daily Libération points out, only a few days ago announced a net half-year of €424 million.

There must be a moral somewhere in this tale.

Flight quarantined for two hours following false alarm

Passengers aboard a flight from the Portuguese capital Lisbon to the southwestern French city of Toulouse found themselves in quarantine when they arrived at their destination - the reason, a suspected case of cholera aboard the 'plane.

But in reality it turned out to be a false alarm caused by a misunderstanding between one of the passengers and a member of the cabin crew, and a system of "coping" with a potential crisis that took on a dynamic of its own.

A Portugalia Embraer 145 (image from Wikipedia, author - Bthebest)

It all began half an hour after take off when a passenger aboard the scheduled flight, operated by Portugal's national airline TAP, felt unwell and made his way to the loo.

Concerned for his state of health, a member of the cabin crew attempted to find out what wrong.

And that was when the problems really started.

The stewardess, who reportedly didn't speak a word of French, misunderstood what the passenger - himself a doctor - had said.

Somehow she confused his explanation of "having a simple stomach ache" as being a "suspected case of cholera" and she took the appropriate action by informing the captain.

It was, of course, a false alarm, but one which quickly took on a life of its own.

The passenger was confined to the back of the 'plane, the cabin crew donned the obligatory masks, no food was served for the duration of the flight and the authorities in Toulouse were alerted.

In the meantime another doctor aboard confirmed the passenger's self-diagnosis, but that could not prevent the 'plane being greeted on landing by the emergency services and a two-hour quarantine being place while investigations were conducted.

It was, as Françoise Souliman, the secretary general of the préfecture of the département of Haute Garonne, explained afterwards, a false alarm based on a simple misunderstanding, but one which had required appropriate action.

But that perhaps was little consolation for the passengers who were reportedly offered no explanation throughout the flight and must have been more than a little concerned when, on arrival, they saw the emergency services board the 'plane.