The Dakar rally, the former beauty queen and French TV

What happens when two French institutions "meet"?

Easy. You get one - a former Miss France - commentating on another - the Paris-Dakar.

And all hell has been let loose among sports journalists miffed, thinking that they've been passed over for the job.

Screenshot from official promo video, Dakar 2011

That annual real life version of the television cartoon Wacky Races - aka The Dakar (formerly Paris-Dakar) - hasn't yet got underway, but already it's providing plenty of what the French seem to love so much, "polemic".

At the heart of the furore is a former beauty queen, Élodie Gossuin, Miss France 2001 and Miss Europe in the same year.

No the 30-year-old is not going to don a helmet rather than a coronet.

Instead the powers that be at France Television have decided that she should join the commentary team during the Rally which begins on January 1; an appointment that certainly hasn't been to everyone's liking.

So much so that it quickly became apparent that all was not well among sports journalists at France Television and initial reports after the announcement was made suggested that five of them belonging to la société des journalistes du service des sports, or the sports desk if you will, along with their president, Nicolas Vinoy, and spokesman Gérard Holtz, had resigned in protest.

"The position of consultant during the Paris-Dakar was a coveted one," it was reported.

It wasn't apparently Gossuin per se to whom they objected but the way her appointment had been made.

As it turned out, only Vinoy had handed in his notice and that was "nothing to do with the arrival of Gossuin," according to Daniel Bilalian, the director of sports at France Television, suggesting that there were other problems among the team that had been "brought to a head" by the appointment.

"Élodie Gossuin has already participated in Andros Trophy (the French national ice racing championships) and she's familiar with motorsports," he said.

"She's welcome to the team covering the Dakar, and I wanted her to be a part of it."

With Gossuin the subject of both the sports and celebrity pages of newspapers, it wasn't long of course before journalists turned their attention to how she felt about the "polemic" (yes there's that word again).

"It has been very unpleasant and I wish it had happened differently," she told Europe 1 national radio.

"These are internal problems that don't concern me," she added.

"I have no pretensions of wanting to call myself a journalist, I'm just going to be a consultant."

And that means, according to Holtz, who is also one of the race commentators, "adding colour" to the event by "spending time with doctors and cooks" rather than reporting directly on the rally itself; for which even she admits she isn't qualified.

This year's Dakar begins on January 1 in Buenos Aires, Argentina and if it is nearly half as lively as the pre-rally build-up has been so far, it should be more than entertaining.

And wallop goes another French tradition

Oh dear. The New Year has not got off to a great start here in France. First there was the apparent challenge to the country’s café culture with the introduction of the smoking ban in public places and now another Gallic bastion has bitten the dust with the cancellation of the Dakar rally.

Mind you, the former Paris-Dakar as was, and then from 2002 consecutively and confusingly Arras, Marseille, Clermont-Ferrand, Barcelona and two times Lisbon – Dakar, only dates back to 1979 so has far less to do with the traditional image of France than the Evil Weed.

The annual race across the desert was abandoned just a day before it was due to start after the French foreign ministry advised against tourists travelling to Mauritania. That warning followed the murder there on Christmas Eve of four French tourists.

As 15 of the eight stages were due to pass through Mauritania plus a rest day in the capital Nouakchott, it seems that wisdom has prevailed. Organisers also reported that direct threats had been made against the race itself. The security of the participants, hoards of journalists and team technicians had been paramount, they said, in their heeding the French government’s advice to call the whole thing off.

The rally has had scheduling problems in the past. Two stages were dropped last year because of terrorist threats. And in 2000 and 2006 organisers arranged for the rally to rerouted to avoid the North of Mali and Niger.

But it’s the first time in its relatively short history that the Dakar will not take place at all.

Of course not everyone thinks that it’s much of a loss that there’ll be no fume-belching vehicles careering though some of the poorest parts of Africa.

Critics – and there are plenty of them – accuse the rally of being a mere circus reserved for the rich. A sort of off-road version of Formula 1 with cars, motorbikes and trucks criss-crossing their way across the desert dunes, while a collection of jet setters including singers, actors and models “helicopter” in their wake.

Just take a moment though to think about what we’ll all be missing this year.

First up of course is the impact on the poor old environment. No rally means no desert dust will be thrown up by those 500 or so gas guzzlers and there’ll be no accompanying convoy of fuel, food and water to sustain the competitors while locals look on. Those same locals also won’t be able to complain about their livestock being hit or killed in accidents.

And while on the subject, no rally also means no chance to add to the death toll – currently put at 48 over the years according to organisers’ figures. That number includes at least 17 locals and 25 competitors, as well as the rally’s founder Thierry Sabine.


Thankfully though the organisers have reassured everyone that this year’s abandonment doesn’t mean the end of the rally. Apparently it is a “symbol that cannot be destroyed” even if terrorist threats seem to have done a pretty good job of it this time around.

But just how much of a symbol it is, was perhaps summed up by – of all things - the Vatican’s official newspaper last year, which described the event as “a bloody, irresponsible, violent and cynical attempt to impose questionable Western tastes on the developing world.”

Anybody want to second that?

Persiflage

Talking about a Velo-rution

Pedal power comes to Paris

After the celebrations of Bastille Day and another show of French Republicanism – very important to the National Identity apparently – there was more revolutionary activity on Sunday as the mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoé, marked his latest attempt to boost the French capital’s green credentials, this time with the launch of Velib.

It’s a copy of a scheme launched two years ago in Lyon, whose idea is to encourage motorists to leave their cars at home – or at least at an out of town car park – and make use of rented bikes. In Lyon (metropolitan population 1.6 million) it captured the hearts of the townsfolk where 60,000 temporary or permanent subscribers have made use of the city’s 4,000 bikes since the launch.

In Paris (metropolitan population 9 + million) the authorities are renting out an initial 10,000 bikes (set to double by the end of the years) at around 750 “stations”. The first half hour is free and then a complicated sliding scale of rates kicks in (Delanoé is clearly a child of French bureaucracy) which admittedly shouldn’t hit the wallets of users too dramatically. You can pick up a bike at one point and return it to another.

But can such a scheme in Paris– as well intentioned as it might be – really mirror the success it has had in Lyon?

Parisian drivers are famous for their lack of respect for the rules of the road in general and other road users in particular. They are Italians – just living further north in a city whose beautiful boulevards give priority to traffic from the right – a rule which some respect and some don’t. Having a dent or a scratch on your car is almost a badge of honour and as anyone who has ever tried to navigate around l’Arc de Triomphe in a car can testify, it requires a degree of madness and supreme will in an area in which even insurance companies won’t honour claims resulting from accidents.

To his credit, during his tenure in office, Delanoë has implemented a general overhaul of the roads – building a maze of bus lanes that manage to clog up the streets and setting up one-way systems that completely bypass some quarters. Driving has, in short, become a nightmare but it hasn’t helped reduce the number of cars or improve tempers and a dearth of separate bicycle lanes does not bode well for his new venture.

Now he seems to have thrown caution completely to the wind and decided to help unsuspecting tourists risk life and limb as they tackle the mild mannered driving skills of the Parisian motorists armed with nothing more than two wheels. And he hasn’t even made the wearing of helmets compulsory.

Velib is undoubtedly eco-friendly, nobody can dispute that, and could be a hit with the tourists – many of whom already use the excellent public transport system. But how much of an impact will it have on the behaviour of those that actually live and work in the city? How useful is it for a mother (or father) -of two, off to the local market for a spot of shopping, or a suit-clad banker hot-pedalling it from one meeting to another – enjoying the pleasures of a November monsoon?

The banks of the Seine are vehicle-free over the summer – frequently creating Sunday afternoon jams throughout the rest of the Paris. And in this bicycle-crazy nation, the Champs Elysees will be closed to traffic when the Tour de Drugz rolls into town for its climax in 10 days time. But it’s hard to imagine cyclists standing much of a chance there – or anywhere else in the city – on any other day of the year.