A blockbuster action film spoof video trailer on the French presidential elections

So they're off.

On Monday, the wise ones on the Conseil Constitutionnel (the Constitutional court) officially approved the 10 candidates in this year's French presidential elections.

(screenshot from "2012, mission Elysée")

Among them of course were all the usual suspects including Nicolas Sarkozy and François Hollande as well as virtual political non-entities in terms of nationwide support such as Philip Poutou and Jacques Cheminade.

Still it's all good for the cause of "democracy" isn't it? Although the presence of Cheminade in particular, his somewhat batty ideas and links to US political activist Lyndon LaRouche (do the search - it's weird and dangerous) might seem somewhat disconcerting.

Especially as two seasoned politicians, former environment minister Corinne Lepage and former prime minister Dominique de Villepin, failed to gather the 500 signatures from mayors and/or regional councillors necessary to stand.

Anyway, before the gloves really come off (haven't they done so already?) and the 10 contenders get even more mean and serious about their intentions, perhaps it's time to take a step back and see the whole shebang through the eyes of those who delight in parody.

And it comes in the shape of "2012, mission Elysée", a "web series relating the adventures of our presidential candidates in 2012," from Staiff. fr.

Blockbuster action time indeed.

Enjoy!!??

Toulouse shootings - seen from an expat bubble perspective

The deaths of three children and a teacher at a Jewish school in the southwestern city of Toulouse on Monday after an unknown gunman opened fire on them has become not only a major local and national story, but an international one too.

Shootings in Toulouse and Montauban (screenshot from France 2 news)

All major news organisations, local, regional and international, have been carrying reports on the shooting, the reactions and the link that has been established to the separate shootings and deaths of three soldiers in the same city and the nearby town of Montauban last week.

The candidates in next month's first round of the presidential elections all suspended their campaigns for one day.

The current president, Nicolas Sarkozy, as well as his main opponent, the Socialist party candidate François Hollande, have both visited Toulouse since the shootings, as have several other candidates and current government ministers.

A minute's silence was held in schools throughout the country on Tuesday.

Turn on the radio or the television or pick up a newspaper and you'll more than likely catch an update on who has said what, speculation about the gunman's motives, the police investigation that has been launched, the concerns of parents over the safety of their children, the fears of another attack...in fact you cannot miss hearing, seeing or reading about what happened.

Not even if you're unable to speak French because BBC, CNN, Sky and others have all been covering developments.

The region of Midi-Pyrénées, in which both Toulouse and Montauban are situated, has been put on "scarlet alert", the highest terror alert in France.

So it's hard to live here and not at least have an inkling as to what happened - right?

Wrong.

This was posted on a thread about the "scarlet terror" alert in the Midi-Pyrénées on one of the many sites for mainly native English-speakers to help them get to grips with living in France.

"Please explain what you're talking about," wrote (link withheld) the contributor

"I live in L'isle-en-Dodon, Haute Garrone...! (sic)"

Just for those of you who don't know, and at the risk of being repetitive, Haute Garonne is one of the eight départements in the region of Midi-Pyrénées, and its main city is Toulouse.

L'Isle-en-Dodon is a small town (two thousand inhabitants) 70 kilometres or just over one hour's drive away from where the school shootings took place.

No comment.

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy furious as French magazines publish baby photo

After the French weekly "news" magazine Paris Match published a long-lens photo in it most recent issue in which five-month-old Giulia Sarkozy's face is clearly visible, two other French celebrity rags have followed suit.

Paris Match cover (screenshot AFP report)

And France's first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is livid.

It doesn't really matter what you think of Bruni-Sarkozy's past - or her present come to that.

You might well regard her as a somewhat laughable and/or incongrous presence alongside her husband Nicolas Sarkozy as he seeks a second term as French president.

But put aside whatever you think about her previous relationships, her career as a top model and the delightful strains of her raspy voice as a singer for one moment and concentrate on her role as a mother.

And surely you have to admit that she has a point in being furious at the French media for not respecting the rights of her five-month-old daughter, Giulia.

Voici cover (screenshot Voici magazine)

Even before she was born in October 2011, Giulia was the focus of more media attention than probably even your average famous adult could handle.

When Bruni-Sarkozy went into hospital for the birth there was a virtual media pack camped outside the hospital, waiting, ready to report ...well what usually happens after a woman has been pregnant for nine months: she gives birth.

Bruni-Sarkozy - or rather Giulia, kept the hungry "newshounds" waiting a while, but then she popped into the world becoming and remaining for the moment, arguably one of the world's most famous babies.

All of course because her parents are who they are.

So that makes her fair game doesn't it? The paparazzi should be able to take whatever long-lens photos they like and magazines publish them regardless.

After all Giulia is newsworthy because her parents are. They survive and thrive partially through exposure so they should expect their children to...well learn to cope with fame.

That's far from being how Bruni-Sarkozy sees it and she insisted from the moment her daughter was born that the French media cut her, and in particular Giulia, some slack and not invade what are very private moments for both of them

So her wrath - measured to say the very least - after the French weekly magazine Paris Match published a photo of the two of them in its last issue, was perhaps more than understandable.

"Because I believe in the principle of the freedom of the press, I have always accepted without any problem the publication of photographs or unauthorised information, even when it's erroneous, concerning my private life," she writes on her official site.

But I deplore any use made ​​of images of children as well as any reporting which might touch on their private lives," she continues.

"I have repeatedly expressed my views on this subject. My position has not changed."

The call though, seems to have fallen on deaf ears as far as the French media is concerned - at least the celebrity and gossip sector of the magazine market.

Paris Match has already featured a photo of Bruni-Sarkozy with Giula on its front cover; one in which the face of the five-month-old is clearly visible.

And two other French magazines are set to follow that example this week with Voici and Closer both planning to publish the photo as a "scoop".