Flowers in a bucket

No, not a song by the British rock band the Police along the lines of their 1979 hit "Message in a bottle".

Peonies in a bucket

Instead it's where your bouquet could end up when visiting your nearest and dearest, held hostage by medical staff, in a Parisian hospital.

Yes, in their infinite wisdom the Powers that Be at the Clinique de la Montagne (let's name names) in the suburb of Courbevoie don't allow patients even the smallest posy in their rooms.


The reason? Well apparently the risk of infection and germs.

No matter that the windows of the place are flung open to allow the city breeze to waft its traffic-doused scent into the room.

Exhaust fumes seem to be welcome and pollution greeted with indifference.

But ask for a vase for a fragrant bloom and you'll get as a response that classic Gallic shrug.

"It's a shame monsieur, but we 'ave no vases because flowers aren't permitted. on the ward."

The staff might think the reasoning ridiculous - and some will admit as much.

And there's no denying that a sprig or two of something would liven up an otherwise bland decor and inject a little much-needed colour into hospital life.

But rules is rules, and this is France.

So it's home with the flowers and a bouquet in a bucket until the patient is released.