SNCF's new service - trains that don't run on time

It's the sort of story which, if you had heard it a month earlier, you would have probably put down to being an April Fool.

But it isn't.

French railways has come up with a somewhat novel approach to marketing and customer satisfaction - flexible or variable departure times on some of its routes.

In other words, trains that don't leave when scheduled.



Perhaps it's called thinking outside of the box - or some might consider it "not thinking at all" - because SNCF (Société Nationale des Chemins de fer français or the French National Railway Corporation) is offering travellers what it calls a new "service" - tickets on trains that might - or might not - run on time.

So what does this miracle approach to customer service offer exactly?

Well, it'll allow passengers to buy tickets on 30 intercity Téoz and highspeed TGV routes for trains that will leave 15 minutes before or after their scheduled departure time.

Customers who've bought such tickets will be informed seven days beforehand via email or text message about the exact departure time.

It's all part of SNCF's attempt to reduce the number of cancellations and unscheduled delays - by building planned ones into its timetable - and is a way of coping with necessary track maintenance work, according to Barbara Dalibard, the director of SNCF Voyages.

"Track renovation will take some time - several years," she told France 2 television.

"We cannot exclude the possibility that the service will be extended," she added - somewhat ominously.

The scheme has already been tested on some lines and will be extended in a couple of weeks time to include routes such as Paris-Toulouse, Strasbourg-Bordeaux, Lille-Toulouse and Paris-Dijon.

And the incentive for passengers in terms of price?

Well there isn't one.

Tickets will cost exactly the same as trains scheduled to leave on time.

The only benefit perhaps is to be able to book a ticket earlier but not necessarily knowing what time you'll be leaving.

Brilliant isn't it!

French railways fined for train leaving on time

Here's something of a novelty.

French national railways, SNCF (Société Nationale des Chemins de fer français) has been fined for a train leaving on time!

Of course that's not the whole story.

The company had denied a passenger boarding because he arrived at the very last minute, just as the train was about to leave.

But unfortunately for SNCF, the passenger happened to be a lawyer, and he decided to take the company to court.

The incident dates back to July 21, 2009.

Jérôme Bertrand (screenshot from BFM TV report)

Jérôme Bertrand had a ticket for a train due to leave Gare de Lyon station in Paris for Bourg-en-Bresse in eastern France at 11.10am.

He was cutting things fine - to say the very least - and turned up with just one minute to spare.

But as far as SNCF was concerned, Bertrand was too late.

"I saw the train leave even though I was on the platform," he told BFM TV in a spoken style which surely says, 'Don't mess with me, I'm a lawyer'.

"I had been in a rush to arrive on time, but there was no way I was going to be allowed to board the train."

SNCF refused Bertrand a ticket refund or any sort of compensation because in its travel regulations and on its tickets the company pointed out that it "requested" passengers to present themselves for boarding at least two minutes before the scheduled departure time.

Bertrand wasn't to be outsmarted though. He was a lawyer after all and he was determined to see justice done.

He took his case to courts arguing that the "request" SNCF made for passengers to turn up at least two minutes before a train's departure did not make it a "requirement".

There was no mention in the rules and regulations, as far as he was concerned, that a passenger arriving at the station "on the dot" would be denied access to a train.

Almost two years later and guess what?

The court found in his favour and according to BFM TV, unless SNCF decides to appeal, Bertrand will be reimbursed the cost of buying an extra ticket - €129.30 - as well as one euro in symbolic damages.

So there you have it. SNCF fined for a train leaving on time.

Makes a change.

Do the French really need 72-hour antiperspirant protection? Does anyone?

There's a myth - still doing the rounds apparently - that the French don't like washing and instead prefer to douse themselves with perfume.

Take a look at this dumb question posted on a health forum and answered last year.

In 2005 the BBC's Denise Winterman looked at some of the reasons the British in particular might still hold (ignorant) stereotypical notions of French toiletry habits.

It was one element in an article exploring how some British viewed "their cross-channel neighbours with suspicion and antipathy."

That the French have an aversion to soap and water or - at least are not as clean as other nationalities - is of course more than just fallacy. It's discourteous, xenophobic and has no place in the minds of any sane thinking person.

So why then do the manufacturers of antiperspirants choose to market a product to the French that promises "48 hour protection"?

And there's worse still in terms of their judgement on the perceived personal hygiene needs of the French because some also offer 72-hours-worth of "security".

Who the heck needs 72-hour protection?

That's three whole days of accumulated perspiration for men or glow for women - bearing in mind that only horses "sweat".

What in heaven's name is going through the minds of manufacturers when they come up with the idea that anybody requires such a product in everyday life?

This apparent desire not to wash and instead use a deodorant is admittedly not just a French phenomenon - at least not if the commercials are to believed

Scoot around YouTube and you'll pull up any number of ads from countries around the world all presenting the virtues of 48 and 72-hour protection.



Here are just a few - some tasteful - others less so.







What next? 96 hours perhaps.

It gives new meaning to the reaction "Hum"