Lights out

There’s been so much hullabaloo, or as the French prefer to say polemic, here recently over the introduction of a total smoking ban in public places, that you could be forgiven for thinking that much of the population is about to man the barricades and storm the Bastille.

The most important element in the new law – which is due to come into effect on New Year’s Day is its “totality” because in true French style there has in fact been a partial ban in operation for the past 10 months. But while airports, railway stations, hospitals and offices all stopped smokers from lighting up, cafés, bars, restaurants and discos were given a period of grace to get their act together.

At the heart of the polemic has been the perceived threat to the traditional image of smoke-filled bars with crusty old French geezers sucking away on revolting Gauloises. Or even more horrifically the big cultural shift (at least in the eyes of those abroad) of a country whose cafés have apparently long been the haunts of fag-dangling-from-lips artists and philosophers.

Quelle horreur.

Now anyone caught lighting up in contravention of the new regulations will face a maximum €450 fine, while café owners and the like, who might be tempted to turn the proverbial blind eye to someone puffing away on their premises, could be required to cough up €750.

The French of course are a notoriously individualistic lot. If their reaction to seat-belt laws or drink-driving regulations are anything to go by the ciggie police could have quite a job of enforcing the law. Children for example can often still be seen rocking around unattached in the back of cars and many New Year revellers seem more than willing to take the risk of driving home well oiled.

And let’s not forget that there has actually been a legal requirement to provide specific smoking areas in bars and restaurants since 1991, which would lead any sane person to assume that non-smoking areas were also compulsory. But this being France, many proprietors (and as a result their clientele) ignored it completely, side passed the legislation and designated the whole of their premises being as “smoking”.

A recent march in Paris of more than 10,000 protestors – mainly tobacconists – could not change lawmakers’ minds, although the rather jolly health minister, Roselyn Bachelot, displayed a touch of humanity for which this government is so renowned, by announcing that smokers will be able to puff-in the New Year without fear of having a fine slapped on them.

The new ban does not include pavement tables or open-air terraces – yet – so perhaps we can expect to see the nation’s baccy addicts hazily huddled together on street corners inhaling diesel fumes alongside their nicotine fix.

While kicking the habit might be hard to legislate, statistics indicate there is work to be done. Official figures show that around one in three French over the age of 12 are regularly regular smokers, and more than 66,000 a year die from smoking related illnesses (including around 6,000 who have never smoked).

And if the Italians, Irish, Spanish and British can all do it, why can’t the French?

Learning from Misstakes part two

More Ho Hums of a similar sort to the difficulties facing French swimming star, Laure Manaudou, surround the newly crowned Miss France, Valérie Bègue.

Just two weeks after strutting her stuff to glory, the 22-year-old reigning Miss Réunion is “considering her future” after being asked to hand back her coronet.

And guess what’s at the heart of the controversy. Yep. That’s right. More “private” saucy pictures. This time taken several years ago when the Indian Ocean beauty was putting together shots for her portfolio.

The beauty pageant’s organiser, the ever-sprightly 75-year-old hat fetishist, Geneviève de Fontenay, has been outraged by the pictures, which include depictions of Bègue licking yoghurt provocatively and of her floating on a cross in a swimming pool.

The “suggestive” snaps, which were sent anonymously to the monthly trash mag, Entrevue contravene a pre-competition contract that contestants sign to guarantee they have never been photographed in compromising positions.

And for de Fontaney, Bègue’s fully-clothed but nonetheless controversial snaps are just as offensive as the Playboy poses that forced the premature resignation of the 2005 Miss France.

Bègue is so far standing firm, claiming the photographs were only test shots and she had not authorised their publication. She told a hastily-convened press conference that she would “take time out” to consider her future, but the likelihood is that she will have to be shoved rather than go willingly.

Ah yes, but as always apparently there’s more to the story than meets the eye.

Editors at Entrevue maintain that Bègue was not the only competitor with a portfolio containing potentially embarrassing photographs. There are apparently others, say the magazine, whose shots would have sent dear old Geneviève totally apoplectic had one of them got their mitts on the Miss crown.

And therein lies yet another twist in the tale according to the hacks at Entrevue. They claim “unidentified sources” informed them three weeks before the competition that Bègue had been slated to win.

Regular outbreaks of the potentially fatal viral fever chikungunya and damage after last winter’s cyclones, have hit the island’s mainly tourist-based economy hard. Begue’s victory, suggested the informant, was fixed to bring the island a much-needed boost and positive publicity.

Such cynicism of course could just be a ruse to sell yet more magazines, which has incidentally been banned from Réunion’s newsstands.

Should Bègue be forced to step down – and the whole sorry mess should be cleared up before the end of the year – then the Miss France title could still remain overseas so-to-speak, as the runner up was Miss New Caledonia, Vahinerii Requillart

Of course whether the 19-year-old Pacific Ocean beauty’s participation at the Misses World and/or Universe competitions would then be secured would depend on what revelations, if any, were unearthed by the ever-watchful French media.

Fascinating stuff.

Learning from Misstakes part one

Two glamorous French lasses have hit the headlines this past week here in France, and not always for the reasons they might have wished. Perhaps as the New Year beckons both will have used the holiday season to take stock and learn from their mistakes.

First up involves Franco-Italian relations yet again. No not the French president’s new belle or even Alitalia’s attempts to waltz up the aisle with Air France-KLM. Instead it’s the storm surrounding French swimming sensation Laure Manaudou’s messy split with her Latin poolside lover, Luca Marin.

The 21-year-old is a marvel in the pool and a national hero with three Olympic medals, including one gold, and world records in both the 400 and 200 metres freestyle.

Her style is breathtaking and a punishing training schedule under former trainer Philippe Lucas worked wonders as she regularly powered her way off the blocks, ratcheted up the gears and left her competitors in her wake wash.

The golden girl of French sport could do no wrong. She was quite simply feted throughout the country, signed a €1 million-a year modelling contract with Gucci-owning French billionaire, François Pinault, and appeared on the front cover of the weekly glossy Paris Match.

But then in May this year Manaudou proved that once out of the water, she tended to leave her brain in neutral.

She ditched Lucas – a Gallic version of the Incredible Hulk a l’orange – and hopped across the border to train with Marin’s team in Turin. The girl was in love and didn’t mind showing it.

But the course of true love proved to be far from smooth and much shorter than anticipated. In true soap-opera style, she soon broke ranks with the Italian team manager, fended of accusations of “not trying” during training sessions and as quickly as she had fallen in love with Marin, fell right back out again.

Back in France, and without a trainer or a team, Manaudou has turned to the “expertise” of her younger brother, Nicolas, to get her back on course for next year’s Olympics. But the story was far from over and indeed worse was yet to come.

During this month’s European short course championships in Hungary, as Manaudou hauled in another four medals, “private” pictures taken with a mobile ‘phone of the formerly clinching couple and several topless ones of Manaudou herself surfaced on the Internet.

She reportedly accused Marin of releasing the pictures, and even his fervent denials could not stop the fury of the French swimmer as she confronted him during the meeting and rather publicly chucked his ring in the pool.

Ho hum. Hopefully she will be a little more careful where she points that mobile ‘phone with the new love in her life, French backstroker Benjamin Stasiulis.

Happy New Year Laure